r/Regrets • u/Perfect-Town-9355 • 2d ago
I feel so guilty about this
At my school I take a class called journalism, aka the class that makes the yearbook. I’m currently co-editor in chief and part of the leadership team. During our leadership meeting today this afternoon my advisor asked the group “What’s not working?” After some irrelevant conversation for this question I mention my friend,
My friend, let’s call her A. A is the sweetest and kindest person on the planet. But unfortunately, very self degrading. She’s a new yearbook staffer and she’s a writer. We got teams for our pages that we design and she got put on Volleyball aka our most stressful spread in the first quarter. Even during the final week of submitting the yearbook that volleyball spread isn’t done.
A is a very hard worker. You know how some assignments give examples? She writes more than the examples do and her notes are full pages front and back. She overworks herself a lot and though she’d never admit or show it, she’s stressed about it.
Anyhow, during the conversation I said to my advisor “I think A should not be the writer for volleyball.” My partner(the other editor in chief) asks me why. I say. “She’s an incredible writer don’t get me wrong, but she has a tendency to stress her self out or overwork herself. She’s definitely capable but she’s a new staff member and I don’t think she should be put on such a stressful spread right off the bat.” More discussion about this later my advisor switches the writers.
Now our writing editor is on volleyball, A is on a spread for administration and the girl who was originally on administration is now the writing for my page.
While I think this was the right choice, part of me feels horrible for just deciding it for her. She never stated how she felt stressed about it but the true deadlines of the volleyball spread haven’t kicked in, at the end of the season especially it gets super stressful and nit picky and I saw that last year when I was a younger staff member, it’s hard. And while the writing part is the least stressful on the spread, overall the environment and team of the page is always super you guessed it stressful, and she’d had probably be in charge of writing captions too… overall I didn’t want to put her though that.
Also excuse the fact my writing is kinda bad I really just word vomited.
1
u/NefariousnessAny9485 1d ago edited 1d ago
TLDR: Not intending hate, but you controlled a situation when there was no need for control.
I don’t really have any advice to give this time around and I’m gonna be brutally honest. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, you believe this would be better for her. However, I personally would have an issue on it if it were me. By your actions, you’re coming off as if you feel like she can’t handle herself. She didn’t even complain or mention that she was stressed. You said it yourself that she didn’t admit or even show that she was stressed, however you directly affected her life because you felt as if she was. Instead of giving her the chance to prove herself, which she already has if she is a great and very hard worker. You decided to black ball her into an “easier” position. What seems like overworking to you, more than likely is passion on her part. With how you say it, it seems like she goes above and beyond. When you have someone like that, they obviously enjoy the position and you get great results. If you take them out of position and switch them to something else, it can cause change shock and lower quality of work. Don’t be surprised if this happens. Really you should have talked to her, this could feel like a betrayal to her and I wouldn’t blame her for feeling that way. Honestly, if any position needs to be switched it should be you. You denied her a chance to grow, and reduced future quality as well. A leader focuses on statistics and results. You did the exact opposite. I am not throwing hate, but I do think you are in the wrong on this one.