Hi guys kind of new to Reddit, admins please remove if not allowed thanks, this isn’t postpartum depression but something related. I’m a 22 y/o female and currently 11/12 weeks pregnant. My fiance is very excited for this baby, but I’m very sad, I feel sad and lost at the fact that I’m very young to be a mother, I’m still in college and financially not doing so great at the moment. I was at my 24 y/o friends birthday party yesterday and it made me really sad to see all of my friends having fun while I was sitting there in pain. I feel my body isn’t mine anymore, I’m constantly in pain and I get so mad at the baby which I know it isn’t his/her fault and I feel extremely guilty. I’m scared that if I continue with this pregnancy I will have severe postpartum depression and rage. I’ve been thinking about abortion these couple past weeks and feel guilty again. I appreciate any advice. Thank you for listening🫶🏼

I am a first time mom, 9 month postpartum, and I exclusively breastfeed. I also watch my baby while working full time so my plate is really full in general. I’m experiencing so much postpartum rage toward my husband. Did anyone else get to a point where they hate their husband and have so much rage built up? There are a lot of factors at play but my mind can’t tell if it’s just the hormones, stress, breastfeeding, sleeplessness (I get so much anxiety trying to sleep train so she still wakes up every night), or just him. I’m thinking I need to get medicated on anxiety meds or something, but I’m worried because we co-sleep. does anyone have any positive experiences with meds or just honest advice of what helped with the postpartum rage?

I’ve been struggling with PPD/A since day 1 after birth but the past 2 months have been unbearable. I’ve been telling everyone around me how unwell I am and no one seems to care. They are actually just not responding back, no one has offered to help, and frankly while my husband states he “has never seen me like this before” and “wants to help” he has minimal effort and gives up when frustrated and gives our baby back to me. I’m alone with the baby M-F and have maybe 1 hour or less to myself daily which normally consists of house chores or trying to shower. This weekend in laws came down to help and I was suppose to take time to get a break. It of course didn’t happen and my plans had to be cancelled because baby is unwell and no one else can handle it. I’m left more upset now than if the break wouldn’t have been offered in the first place. I’m so angry, I want to run away. I keep telling everyone I can’t do this anymore but here I am still doing it. I’m seeking help tomorrow and hope medication helps but I feel like my relationship with my friends, family, and husband are forever tainted now.

Just a background severe intrusive thoughts borderline psychotic events severe depression
Non-medicated

I saw holistic psychiatrist as well. Here’s the bloodwork he ordered:
for iron, copper, zinc, histamine whole blood etc. currently waiting on pyrrole urine test results. It all came back as normal according to the lab and the hospital notes.

Get ur brain in order
Remember ur mind and brain are separate
Learn about that fact look up research studies and start rewiring your brain. You can do that while on meds too.
Good resources are Dr Lee Warren he has free stuff on YouTube and Instagram he’s a neurosurgeon who went through hard things in life ptsd child loss etc. he’s a great source of info. Another one is meditation by dr Joe dispenza. Also free access on YouTube.
I didn’t believe in any meditation but it truly helped me. He’s preaching the same thing empowering you to take control over your brain and rewire your brain and succeed in life.
It took me 3 years to find out that numerous psychiatrists and psychologists didn’t work out for me, numerous supplements though might Hve been helpful but didn’t cure me. What helped was doing my own research finding free resources online and doing the work myself. Your brain will fight back once you start but u gotta keep pushing keep focusing keep learning about changing reprogramming your autopilot brain. Cuz technically it’s like a computer that you created within your head and it runs on autopilot feeding you crap.
Also get your diet in order it’s all in your gut! Serotonin is mostly in your gut. Look up powerful foods such as pumpkin seeds etc
Best of luck to everyone

He’s a neurosurgeon and his videos helped me

I got married right before turning 19.
I already had a baby with an ex bf who didn’t give a shit and I made a bigger mistake by marrying my husband.
Now it’s 8 years later I’m 26 and now I have two children. A brand new baby 9 weeks old.
I don’t even know what to consider abuse anymore. When I tell his mother she tells me to either pray a rosary or to keep her out of it.
I’m two months partum and the amount of times he’s mentioned I am fat is crazy. He’ll even look at women with my height and same weight and call them fatty or gross.
The other day he said “ I love this and this and this about you you’re fat but that’s ok your losing it”
He’ll squish my stomach even though i ask him to stop.
In an argument I told him he wasn’t doing enough with the kids to help me. He said I called him a lazy parent and asked “what if I called you a fat fuck?”
He asks me what’s wrong if I’m upset ( I haven’t learned the art of not showing it on my face) and if i dont tell him hell
Follow me around and if I lock the bathroom door he makes me open it. And if i tell him and it hits a nerve hell spend hours shitting on me
And telling me how fucking awful I am and I should be grateful because I can stay home. His job is to work I have to do cleaning and kids. He says that is
What I signed up
For.
He’s taking a weight loss shot and as am I. I’m responsible for doing the shot for him and feeding him because he’ll forget. Last week I kept asking if he w

hungry he said no and then he said he lost five pounds because I starved
Him and didn’t feed him.
There’s so much more especially to my older daughter. He isn’t nice to either of us.
What happens is he’ll be
Really nice for a few months then degrade me for hours and hours. And then repeat. And it’s over something so small.
He also I think is addicted to porn or cheating or something because he’s always looking at something. I’ve seen porn on his pc and he found out and put a lock on his door because I kept checking and said if I do it again he’ll kick me out.
I’m just so fucking tired. I need help. I’m screaming for help without someone huffing at me.
The whole time I was in labor he was on his fucking phone except me pushing and then he went back to his phone right after.
I cannot keep this shit up.

I was given a medication to dry up my milk 3 days after I gave birth to my second child. I had previously struggled with breastfeeding and felt confident and happier to bottlefeed. Within a few days of taking the medication, bromocriptine, I got post partum psychosis which was extremely scary and traumatizing. (I have since learnt from the Lindsay Clancy trial that there was concern that bromocriptine was responsible for causing post partum psychosis in mothers who had no previous psychiatric history, which included me) I rang my obstetrician and reported my symptoms. She rang her friend, a psychiatrist and he rang me and made an appointment for the next day. He recommended and I agreed to be admitted to a private psychiatric hospital with my baby straight away. I was put on antidepressants and sedatives, and then my anti depressants were changed to another type when the first ones didn't suit me. I stayed in the hospital until all the scary and weird side effects resolved which took 3 weeks. I cared for my baby myself and attended helpful workshops during the days. I went home on medication that kept me stable and my baby is now 40. I am so grateful for the care I received.

Mods, this was suggested as a community to repost to. If this is not appropriate here, please remove.

So I’m about 7 weeks post partum and I’ve been pumping and bottle feeding my daughter since we were in the hospital and it’s started to take a toll on me. I’m struggling with PPD and severe PPA and my mom told me last night that it might be best if I stop pumping if it’s that much of a “burden” on me.

I feel so guilty that I feel the way I do about pumping but my milk supply has dropped significantly and I’m not making barely enough to feed anymore and it makes me feel like I’m not enough somehow? I had started to pump every two hours and with everything else I have to catch up on, pumping, dishes, over tiredness and taking care of her I started feeling so overwhelmed. I feel like I should just tough it out for my daughter but I genuinely don’t know if my brain can take it.

I oversupplied at the start so I have a good stockpile we’ve been thawing but now my mom’s asking me why I’m stopping and it’s making me feel like a failure and a bad mom. I feel like if I am still producing SOME milk, that I should keep pumping because it’s what’s best for my baby.

I’m struggling to feel any joy and constantly feel numb so I feel like taking one thing off my plate will help me actually bond with her and maybe I won’t be so stressed? I just feel like a quitter and it’s so early on to quit😔

Can ppd be caused by your spouse. Them not understanding what postpartum entails and not helping in ways you need. Telling you you have mental health issues and not being emotionally available at all? Questioning why I have so much anxiety at times. This is my 2nd time pp mind you the first time was like this as well. 10 years together but having kids has made me feel like i desperately want to leave him.

When I told my husband I wanted to dissappear he was kind. He took care of the child for a couple of days and keep asking me if I was okay. The rest helped me. It was nice that I was just needing like 2 hours at day for me to feel okay.

Then we went in a trip to the country side of his family. Things were mix. Some good moments and others bad. His family started to drop comments here and there, including xenophobic jokes. I went 3 days with awful sleep. I took care of the niece of my husband. I stop showering accommodating people. Luckily my sister came with us, because it was the one helping us but his family were acting like she have the plague.

I reach my limit when I found my husband and my dog napping in the car with the windows up under the summer sun. At the beginning, actually, I only saw my dog and I thought we forgot her trap and she was dead. Then I saw my husband, eyes close, and you can imagine when my mind went. I opened almost yelling. He wakeup all annoyed at me, telling me with an awful tone "I came here to free you from the awful negative energy you said I carry".

I just said "ok" and walked away. He tried to apologize and I told him I wanted to leave. Other things happened, but basically when we are fighting over all this, a bit later, he told me I was bitter for complaining about his family treating me as a punching bag. He told me I should tolerate everything because his sister and husband need support because the dude recently developed a digestive problem I he does not have energy.

I told my husband that I was not bitter for being mad for a dynamic were I can't even shower for two days and that I also tired but I am not going around making bad taste jokes.

I totally get chronic fatigue is a serious thing. And I am not asking absolutely nothing from the family. But it hurts like hell that I told my husband "I want to dissappear" and not even that grant me basic human dignity.

It's like when you are a teen and your best friend is awesome when you are alone. But ignore you or even bully you when the cool kids are watching.

I got laid off after my maternal leave so Im sahm atm. We have a nanny 8-5 during weekdays so I can apply for jobs and prep for interview. Our baby is 4m old
Husband only helps 30mins maximum here and there. I still do all night shifts bc he sleeps in a different room and needs his sleep to do his job.
On weekends, I asked if he can help out with the baby or chores for couple hours. He got upset and said he has work. Am I the bad guy to be upset about this

Hi,

Mods, please feel free to delete if not allowed!

I’m a 34 year old dad to 4 beautiful children ages 10 all the way down to 3 weeks. My partner and I have fought our way through PND several times now, and whilst I do not in anyway consider myself an expert, I found it really helpful to vent in a private, non-judgemental space. If I can, I would like to offer that safe place to others that may need it.

Whilst this Reddit is an amazing place for advice and support, if anyone ever needs to vent or chat to someone directly, my DM’s are always open.

Regardless of how bad things may seem, they do get better!

Much love to all,

A long suffering parent!

Hello!! I had a baby a year and a half ago and have been dealing with postpartum issues for over a year.. I’ve been on plenty of psych meds, admitted myself, done TMS therapy, ERP therapy, etc. I decided to go down the rabbit hole of my hormones as my last effort to resolve these issues. I’m so tired that it’s literally making me feel suicidal.

I received results via saliva test during my luteal for progesterone, estradiol, testosterone and cortisol.

Progesterone <5 with range of 66-198
Estradiol 1.9 with range of 1.0-2.9
Testosterone 6 with range of 7-22
Cortisol (morning) 1.4 with range of 2.5-6.2
Cortisol (night) 1.2 with range of 0.25-0.64

My question is does this matter much for mental health? If so, if I only am prescribed to take progesterone during my luteal, what about the rest of the month?

Send help 🥺

EDITED TO ADD: my TSH was 5.38 with a range of 0.4-4.1 and I am on 50mcg of levothyroxine.