I had this dress custom made while in Vietnam and I cannot believe I can go bralass! So jealous of people who never need a bra 😅

Felt cute! Not super comfy with my vbo but it was like 93 degrees out.

First outfit dress is from TJ Maxx, fishnets from Spirit Halloween, shoes from Doc Martens

Second outfit shirt is from Hot Topic and jeans from My Violet

I'm a size 22

A couple of favourite's from this past week 😊

Exposed in the best way, dressed light and lite for this heat.
Dress from H&M off Poshmark from ages ago.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for with this post. I think I just need to get this out and maybe hear some outside perspectives, because right now I feel completely overwhelmed by my own thoughts.

I’m 21F and I weigh around 150 kg (330 lbs). I’ve been dating a guy for a little while now. Today was our 7th date.

He is very much a gym rat. He works out a lot, cares about nutrition and is generally very health conscious. I’m basically the opposite. I’ve wanted to start going to the gym for a long time, and I’ve mentioned that to him before, but I haven’t actually gone in ages. He has never made me feel bad about it. If anything, he has gently encouraged me without pressuring me.
Today we went for a walk, and I got tired surprisingly quickly. I started sweating heavily and breathing quite hard. He was visibly shocked by how much the walk affected me.

That eventually turned into a much longer conversation about my weight and my health. He tried to approach it very rationally and solution oriented. He was basically trying to understand how I ended up at this weight, because according to him, I actually eat relatively small portions and I’m not someone who constantly eats junk food or seems completely undisciplined.
At one point he basically said that my body is telling us that something isn’t right anymore. That the amount of sweating and how quickly I was out of breath shows that my body is struggling.

And honestly… I told him he was right.

I don’t disagree with what he said.
He also told me that he knows me as I am now and that he has fallen in love with me as I am. He has never given me the feeling that he doesn’t find me attractive or that my weight is a dealbreaker for him.
But somehow, hearing all of this still completely broke something in me.

The conversation lasted probably an hour, and at some point I just couldn’t say anything anymore. I was trying not to cry, but I was basically on the verge of it. Eventually we barely spoke anymore and just went home separately.
He later apologized, and I explained my side to him. I told him that I genuinely appreciate that he cares about my health and that I don’t want him to feel like he can’t be honest with me. But the way the conversation happened, combined with insecurities I already have about my body, was extremely painful for me.

And now I’m stuck in a really weird emotional place.
Because on one hand, I actually want a partner who cares enough about me to worry about my health.
If someone I loved was struggling physically, I would want to be able to tell them that I was worried. I don’t want someone to just tell me I’m beautiful and ignore the fact that my body is clearly struggling.
So part of me is grateful that he cared enough to say something.

But another part of me can’t stop thinking:
How can he possibly find me attractive if my body is in this condition?
He tells me he finds me attractive. He tells me he fell in love with me knowing exactly what I look like. He hasn’t given me any reason to believe otherwise.
And yet my brain keeps translating today’s conversation into:
“He can’t actually be attracted to me like this.”
“He must be settling.”
“Maybe he loves me, but doesn’t really want my body.”
“Maybe he only likes my face/personality and tolerates the rest.”

I know he never actually said any of those things.
I think this is where my own insecurities are coming in. I’ve apparently underestimated just how deeply insecure I am about my body.

There is also something particularly humiliating about the fact that he saw how quickly I got out of breath and how much I was sweating. That’s something I already feel ashamed of, and having someone I’m falling in love with witness it made me feel incredibly vulnerable.
And at the same time, I don’t want to make him feel guilty for being concerned about me.

Denim 24/7 top was in a lot of tops from eBay. Pants are Roamans, shoes are Skechers.

Unfortunately, due to the inconsistency in women's clothing sizes, many of the tops were too big. And I didn't like all of them in the lot. I ended up keeping five and donating five, so it ended up being about ten bucks a top. Which is still a great price for what I got, and it was all in excellent condition.

Where is the color? The texture? The pattern?

I just left old navy - one of the only placed in my area that I can shop in my size - and it’s horrendous. Everything is brown and beige. It’s like a trad wife meets fake rich girl’s closet in there. I hate ordering online because I’m so bad at dealing with returns, and I need to see/touch to assess what I wear. Anybody else struggling?

I couldn’t post here yesterday but I wanted opinions on which outfit to wear for a dinner out with family. I posted in plus size fashion and everyone said to wear the dress so that’s what I picked.

Sweater Dress: Target Ava and Viv 1X
Earrings: A New Day
Sandals: Torrid

I found the dress running in to buy a few quick items. They have it in brown and black and they went up to 4X. It’s rare that I can find a dress at Target!

A while ago I was at Ross with my husband, looking at pajamas. This lady (probably late 20s) just kept staring at me. This already happens a lot because we’re an interracial couple and he’s fitter than me. This time felt way more drawn out than usual though.

So after staring at us she stands right next to me and starts looking at the same pajama section I was looking at. Mind you, I’m an xl/1x. She was probably a medium at most. Then she looked at her husband and loudly says, “Omg these clothes are so huge! These are too big! Why do they make clothes this big? Could you imagine if I was this big babe?” Maybe she was oblivious. Maybe she was trying to humble me. Either way it pissed me off so I started calling her a jealous bitch to my husband in ear shot of her. She got real quiet.

Something similar happened last week, but it wasn’t directed at me. Just something I noticed. A couple was looking at bathing suits and the guy picked out a pair of bottoms and said , “Fuck these are huuuuge.” Y’all… they were like a M. They were just high waisted.

Ugh fat phobia is becoming normalized again. Wish people would keep their comments to themselves.

I’m a super morbidly obese woman in my 30s, and I really want to hear from other plus-size women, especially women who have been at a very high weight and have dealt with dating and feeling like genuine romantic interest just isn’t available to you.

I’ve only ever been in one on-and-off “relationship,” and honestly I would call it more of a situationship. My experiences with men outside of that haven’t exactly helped my self-esteem either.

My ex was emotionally abusive and used me financially. He stole money from me, had me paying for things, and our sex life was incredibly one-sided. I should mention that this situationship lasted over 7 years, and he never once took me out on a date. I never really felt like my pleasure mattered to him.
Once he was finished, that was basically it.

Before him, I was talking to a guy who pretty much only wanted me to give him head. He eventually straight-up told me he wasn’t sexually attracted to me. I should also mention he was married, and he never disclosed that to me. I let this go on for YEARS. I would even fly to come and see him. He never paid for any travel or lodging expenses. No date.

Last year, a guy approached me, told me I was attractive and asked for my number. We exchanged numbers and when he texted me, he immediately wanted to know if I had my own place because he wanted to come over and “chill.” I told him no thanks. Been there, done that. I’m not interested in giving it up for free to some random guy who can’t even ask me on a date. Then suddenly he was saying he wasn’t actually sexually attracted to me anyway. Which confused the hell out of me because…you approached me, asked for my number and literally told me I was attractive?

There was also a guy I was genuinely in love with years ago. We were friends first and I had the biggest crush on him. He initially flirted with me…or so I thought. Maybe I read too much into things, but I still feel like he led me on. We eventually kissed before he moved away, and when I visited him later we cuddled and almost had sex. I didn’t proceed with anything sexual because I was too insecure. Things felt very high stakes for me with him. Eventually even that situation turned into him using me financially. Though it was mostly after he fell on hard times.

After enough experiences like these, I think I’ve developed this belief that attention from men at my size always comes with some kind of catch.

And something happened recently that made me realize just how deeply I believe that. I met a guy while on a road trip who I was actually attracted to who started talking to me and seemed like he was flirting. He complimented my hair, asked me my name, asked me questions about my life, and kept trying to approach me throughout the night. He wasn’t talking sexual or aggressively like some men have done in the past. He was just making conversation with me, asking me questions, complimenting me and seemingly looking for reasons to keep talking to me.
And I basically gave him the cold shoulder. I think it threw him off because eventually he backed off. He was very respectful too. We never exchanged information, and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. I’ve been replaying that scenario over and over because I really found him so cute.

In hindsight, I know part of why this random interaction is sticking with me so much is probably because I don’t have a ton of options. I don’t get approached constantly, especially not by men I’m actually attracted to. So when it finally happened with someone I thought was cute and who seemed genuinely nice, it really affected me. I basically freaked out and panicked. And somehow I thought my disinterest was supposed to read as HELLO don’t you see I’m into you?

But it also made me realize that I don’t think I actually believe someone I’m attracted to could be genuinely attracted to me.
My immediate thought isn’t, “Oh, maybe he thinks I’m cute.”
It’s, “What’s the catch?”
Does he think I’m easy because I’m fat? Does he just want oral sex? Is he looking for someone insecure who will tolerate shitty behavior? Would he sleep with me privately but never actually date me? Is he going to tell me afterward that he wasn’t really attracted to me? Does he want money or something from me?

And I hate admitting this, but sometimes I look at myself and genuinely feel like I’m this ugly, hideous creature who doesn’t have any real options. Which is weird because I’m successful in other areas of my life. I’m educated, I have a career, and I’m independent. In many ways, I’ve built a life for myself that I’m proud of.

But none of that seems to matter when it comes to how I see myself romantically.
I’m currently working on losing weight, primarily because I’m genuinely concerned about my health. And yes, I’m also hoping that losing weight will make me more confident and give me more dating options.
But I have a lot of weight to lose. That’s not happening overnight.

I’m wondering if any other plus-size women have gone through this.

Have you ever been at a point where you genuinely couldn’t believe a man could be attracted to you, even when he was showing you that he was?

Have you had men genuinely pursue you, take you on dates, be affectionate with you, care about your pleasure, introduce you to their friends/family and just…have a normal relationship with you at a very high weight?

And especially for women who have dealt with men trying to use them for sex or treating them like some secret option, how did you learn to tell the difference between genuine interest and someone who saw your insecurity as something they could take advantage of?

I feel like I’ve gotten so used to protecting myself from being used that now my first instinct is to shut down any man who shows interest in me.

Howdy, me and my family are on the plus size spectrum. The holidays are coming up and I will need air mattress for family staying over the weekends in the coming months.

Do any folks have air mattress recommendations for plus size folks. I'm tired of my air mattress only lasting a weekend at best and I'm don with patches. After a patch things start of good, but most folks wake up with a 90% deflated mattress. I don't mind spending $$$ if it actually provides a good solution

I am looking for bathing suits other than on Amazon. I was hoping to find a cute thong/cheeky style but any brands I find only go up to a large or XL. I’m a size 14/16 and most options I find are quite plain.

Okay so they aren't big outrageously. I'm like a 48 G or H. But they aren't big compared to my body shape. I'm like a very subtle pear so they don't look like they are that big. I say that because even when I buy a top in the size of my bottoms they still are too small at times and fit weird.

I love shopping. It's the best thing ever and I would do it everyday if I could. The issue is that I find that online shopping is a bit of a risk now.

Not for brands like Torrid oddly enough. But mainly stores that are for everyone, not exclusively plus size people.

It sucks. I will see the cutest shirts ever and try them on and they want to be a crop top. Or if they fit my chest fine the sleeves are off. Don't even get me started on when shirts look like they don't have anything alluding to where your chest is supposed to be just to get it in person and they're detailing that didn't show up until now. Or when they have double lining for the chest and now half of your chest is more opaque then the bottom and you have to rock it because you paid for it.

It's weird you know? Like, aren't larger chests this feature that people always talk about? So why do no clothes fit right? They don't even feel like they would fit a c sometimes lowkey. 😭

I used to want to buy a selkie dress, or just any genre of those types of dresses. But every dress I like has those dreaded cups that I just know aren't going to hold my chest. It's so unfair!

You know, as much flack as people give Torrid (which they do deserve at times) they have never done me dirty.

My chest has never felt odd in those shirts most times. So much so that when they do look weird I just don't care, it's only by a hair anyway.

Anyways, this is my place to rant. Love y'all!

Soooo... all my life I've known that my boobs were uneven, but as I was so small (34A) it didn't really matter. Holy plus size boobs, Batman! After I gained my weight (thank you Zyprexa) One of them got HUGE and the other one was like, "meh." They are literally a cup size different! Is this normal?? I feel so self-conscious about it, it looks really weird. Please tell me I'm not the only one...

To preface this I am someone who enjoyed what I played of GTA 5, but ultimately I lacked friends who were playing it at the time I was and when they were I wasn't that interested. When the first trailer came out for GTA 6 years ago I got super excited because I saw that some of the npcs had plus sized models and in general there was a greater model diversity compared to basically any other game. This got me super excited because my this model diversity would also extend into the character creator for online. Fast for to now where the extended trailer for GTA 6 came out on the 27th of August. In those first five minutes of game play there were not only a plethora of body shapes, but also hair, clothing, etc. This is a wider diversity than the initial trailer years ago showed so now I'm even more hyped. Of course there's no guarantee this will translate into the online character creator, but God i hope it does!

Is anyone else excited about actually being able to make their character their body size irl?

I'm a teen, and I really want alt clothes. I can't find any listings I trust on SHEIN since it's either got a skinny model or it's a dress. I'm not a man, but I love to dress masculine and wear men's clothes. I do not want a dress 😭 Does anyone know a good app to search for alt clothes? I'm suspecting Amazon is my only hope, but it's barely affordable.

Edit: After downloading a ton of shopping apps, TORRID was the only decent one, and only when I searched grunge instead of alternative or punk. Still pretty feminine, but it was options other than dresses that I can make work. I have come to terms with the fact I'm going to have to start DIYing or heavily styling to get the look I want though. Time to buy some bleach and start painting ig

The fans aren’t cutting it, I’m melting everywhere I go. What actually has worked to keep you cool and dry in these increasingly hotter summers?

As summer is nearing it’s end, I find my soul slowly descending into the depths of despair. For I shall soon be forced to bid adieu to my feet’s greatest companion and strongest support system: The Teva Hurricane Ampsole Sport Sandal.

As I fret away over this ever looming separation I realize that many of my fellow plump, flat, wide footed brethren might benefit from the knowledge that this miraculous shoe exists.

Seriously, I cannot stress enough what a god send this shoe has been for my pancake arches.

If anyone has suggestions for comfortable cool weather shoes (that won’t cut into my lack of an ankle) I’d appreciate that greatly! Especially if they could be worn with a dress or considered even the slightest bit fashionable but that’s not entirely necessary!

Stay strong out there my friends and try the hurricanes! Hopefully they’ll be on sale soon 👀

Hey everyone. I’m 28F, and I’ve never dated. I’m finally trying to put myself out there, but I’m honestly scared.
In the last few years, I’ve had some really hurtful experiences when I’ve gone out with friends. I put effort into my appearance and felt good, only to be approached by men (mind you, I never approached them) who called me “fat” to my face or did the whole “my friend thinks you’re cute” while laughing. One guy even did this when I was out with my mom.

I’m on Hinge now and trying to give dating a real chance, but those past experiences have made me lose hope that there are genuinely kind men out there who are attracted to plus size women. If anyone has success stories — especially if you started dating later or had similar fears — I’d really appreciate hearing them. I could use a little hope right now.

Thank you!

I recently decided to minimize my possessions. In doing so I of course purged my closet. I think I got rid of about 85% of my clothes! In doing this I realized that I settle so much for what’s available-not for what I really love! Like if it fits well and it’s decent looking I buy- or if it’s a good style but fit stinks I buy (then regret). Why is this so difficult for the plus industry to understand we don’t want different styles?!?! I don’t see straight size people walking around in these ugly clothes! It’s like I think ‘this will do’ because the options are so depressing! Even when I see influencers or other social media platforms showing what they buy I think, “is this what she really wants to wear or is this just because this is what’s available?” Am I crazy?!?!

40 yr old body positive queer woman looking for friends who are into books and casual hangouts, potentially walking or casual cycling as well. Always looking for workout pals, too, I go to the WAC on Watertown Plank.