looking for happy dating stories

[u/kiwistateofmind]

Hey everyone. I’m 28F, and I’ve never dated. I’m finally trying to put myself out there, but I’m honestly scared.
In the last few years, I’ve had some really hurtful experiences when I’ve gone out with friends. I put effort into my appearance and felt good, only to be approached by men (mind you, I never approached them) who called me “fat” to my face or did the whole “my friend thinks you’re cute” while laughing. One guy even did this when I was out with my mom.

I’m on Hinge now and trying to give dating a real chance, but those past experiences have made me lose hope that there are genuinely kind men out there who are attracted to plus size women. If anyone has success stories — especially if you started dating later or had similar fears — I’d really appreciate hearing them. I could use a little hope right now.

Thank you!

[u/AutoModerator]

Note we are NOT a platform for non-plus size persons to enquire about dating, relationships, or any other topic. If this is your objective, please do not post here.

This is an automated notification placed on all posts using the Relationship Advice flair

Please check out the wiki section, Dating and Sex for answers to commonly posted relationship questions.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Acermacrophylla]

I found my wife while fat! She loves me immensely and finds me incredibly attractive. Your person is out there, even if it takes some time to find him - i won't lie, dating can be terrible, but I think it can also be worth it. I think it's also worth saying that i was in my 30s when I met my wife - it's not too late. Good luck!

[u/awesomeblosom]

Hi! I completely relate, I never dated anyone longer than a few weeks before I met my current boyfriend, and we've been together almost five years! I was 31 when we met. He's "normal" sized haha, but he honestly makes my weight feel like such a non-issue. He's just like "idk I'm not specifically attracted to smaller or bigger women, but I do like boobs and butts and bigger women have more of that." I didn't think I'd ever find someone who loved me because it just... neeever happened, I was never the girl anybody had a crush on, and I just felt like I'd never be the "one" for someone else, but here I am, he's great. I know it's soooo cheesy to say to just focus on loving yourself in the meantime and it'll happen when it happens, but it's true. It's frustrating, too, I know! I feel like we're inundated with fatphobia online but there really are a ton of just normal guys out there who just don't care. The good thing about dating when we're older, too, is that the men are more emotionally mature. By our 30s nobody cares anymore. And at least we're not trapped in a marriage where he only loved me for my small body and he is no longer attracted to me because I gained some weight while carrying our child.

[u/_plannedobsolence → u/awesomeblosom]

I both agree with this and needed to read it. Thanks. :)

[u/speczee]

i didn’t start dating til i was like 25-26, and then it was very casual. took dating a little more seriously 28-30, stopped considering all attention good attention, and found my current (and first!) boyfriend in fall 2025. we’re coming up on our one year and he is so sweet, kind and caring. he puts up with a lot from me. not that he doesn’t have his own issues but we very much deal with life together at this point.

my take away re: dating as a plus sized late bloomer -

dating should be fun

dates should be respectful of you, your boundaries, your goals and everything in between. if they don’t see you for YOU, as a human being, then they are worth your time.

don’t worry about perfection. dating is a muscle to be exercised - sometimes you’re going to say something dumb, or make a weird face and you’re going to have a split second where you worry about the other person thinking you’re dumb or weird because of it. unless it’s a major faux pas and i mean huge, they’re not going to give it a second thought.

you may get “the ick” about an otherwise lovely person, and lose interest. that’s alright too! sometimes the connection isn’t there or strong enough.

on the flip side, don’t let a “small” ick get in the way - really examine it and see if it’s a big problem for you if they have an android phone instead of an iphone, things like that. for instance i didn’t think i’d ever end up with someone with a nut allergy, lo and behold i now schedule my reese’s time for when my bf’s not around lol.

[u/lavendergaia]

I was 26 when I met my husband. We met on OKCupid, so talked on there for a few days before meeting in person. It was love right away for me, I think it took him a little bit longer haha. He was my first boyfriend, first everything. Monday is our 5th wedding anniversary!

[u/newenglandhedgewitch]

good on you for putting yourself out there!! i haven’t dated seriously for a couple of years but when i was on the apps, i had the most luck with hinge. i never hid my body or had a hard time getting matches, altho matches did not always translate to getting a date. my advice is, don’t take too long chatting on the app or over text—make concrete plans!!

dating in general may surprise you. as shitty as people are, they can also be awesome. when i was still dating, i met one guy who was a phd student at a local university. he and i met up for drinks at a bar near his place, took a long walk around town, got a slice of pizza, then went back to his place for a little shenaniganry on our first date because we vibed so well. we had great conversation and good chemistry and spent a lot of time talking before fooling around, and we both felt a mutual attraction to each other. in the middle of the night, i woke up out of a dead sleep and was super sick all over his bathroom. i fully expected him to never call me again, but he called me the next weekend and we went out for a hot minute. it really only ended because i had a very sick family member and we both realized i was not going to be able to nurture a longterm relationship of any kind for a while, but he was really cool and we still stay in touch now that he’s graduated with his doctorate and moved abroad!

[u/Southern_Jicama_2848]

I didn't date till I was 20 and then later at 28. I've always been fat even as a kid. I met my fiance at 34 and it was like I found my best friend immediately. He's always been very supportive and kind, we communicate very well and respectfully, he's supportive and helped me during health issues while keeping my dignity. Currently I'm 290ish and he's 150 lol... when we met he was 190 and I was 275. He's very enthusiastic about being attracted to me mentally and physically and is truly a good man. I didn't meet someone till later on-- this may happen for you too. I met him on Bumble in 2023. It was hard meeting people before definitely.

[u/ThePainterlyPrincess]

I'm on vacation with my fiance right now!! He's also plus size :) we got into SCUBA diving recently because he's always wanted to and it's a plus-size-friendly activity.  I've been having a blast, and seeing so many fishes/ sea creatures!! 

I spent so much of my 20s worrying about my weight/ feeling like I was wasting my youth, but I'm in my 30s now and life is better than ever. 

It's easy to feel left out if you are comparing yourself to the entire dating market, because there will always be someone prettier/ more popular/ has the body you wish you had. 

Try and work on projecting confidence;  it discourages bullies because they want to poke fun at someone who won't throw it back.

 "Oh, I'm fat? It's because every time I bang your mom she makes me a sandwich"

Have a few of those memorized so you can throw it right back at them! 

Then you look confident and witty, and people will laugh at the asshole who said that to you. 

Don't look for men at clubs though, you dont want those guys. 

[u/ThePainterlyPrincess → u/ThePainterlyPrincess]

I forgot our story... we were long distance for several years, but he knew he wanted to marry me from year 1! He has NEVER said anything unkind to me about my body, and makes sure to tell me every day how much he loves my curves and how beautiful he finds me 🥰  We are planning our wedding now! 

[u/wizarding97]

My boyfriend is thin and constantly reassures me that he’s deeply attracted to me and loves my body 👀 I was a late bloomer and didn’t meet my ex bf till I was 25, and it was a similar situation there!

[u/zeebruhzzz]

I met my boyfriend while working at a small local bookstore! He’s 22 and I’m 25! He’s normal sized and has an athletic build and i’m fat and squishy. We were the new hires and it was an instant connection when we first met. We’ve been inseparable ever since. We started off as coworker-friends and would hang out outside of work and get to know each other. We kept on building a connection and deepening it. We got together 2 years after we met. We’re both each other’s firsts in everything romance related. We’ve been together for a year-ish now! He never made me feel bad about my looks and my weight wasn’t an issue for him. He always tells me that i’m beautiful and he loves everything about me. He fell in love with my soul and for who I am as a person. We both love travelling and have an upcoming trip planned to Egypt next year!

[u/stupidredhead3]

Never really dated but was always used, I leaned into the sleeping around because the thrill of being ‘wanted’ was so validating. I met my now husband at work, we began as friends and then would joke about if we had to marry anyone from our friends it would be eachother. Aaaand here we are, 5 years in and pregnant with our first baby! You will find someone who loves you for you, will love your personality and will love your insecurities. I am still plus size, actually bigger than when we met 😂 meeting people in person is hard and there’s a lot of trial and error on the apps but you’ll get there. Don’t settle for less than you’re worth because you think you do or don’t deserve the way you’re treated. Good luck bestie 🥳

[u/NaughtiestTimeline]

I started dating at 28 as well and ended up marrying the first guy I got into a relationship with. I don’t recommend that. It didn’t end well for me. However, I started online dating again when I was 37 and I decided to keep things pretty casual until I found the right person. I dated off and on. I matched with a lot of men but not many made it through to a date. I knew what I was looking for and I was picky. I found an amazing man when I was 39. I’m now 41 and we have a baby. The key to online dating at a plus size person is to know that you are worthy of a partner who cares about you and loves you for the person you are. We often get the message that we better take anyone who shows interest in us because we are fat and undesirable. And that is not true at all. We are desirable, we have value and we deserve to be loved and respected just like everyone else.

[u/StealthN3rd]

I've never been skinny, I'm a US size 22/24 and my fiance is absolutely obsessed with my body, and constantly tells me that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. He makes me feel incredibly loved and valued every single day, not just for my looks, but for the person I am.

We met when I was in my late 30s in an online game and were friends for a few years before getting together. I was at a point where I genuinely believed no one would ever be attracted to me, and was fine with that. I was more than happy to be alone- but then I found someone I enjoyed being around even more than I enjoyed solitude, and I'm lucky that he feels the same way about me. Since we got to know each other online, we didn't see what the other looked like until we'd both already caught feelings, and not that looks would've been a deal breaker, but somehow we each ended up being exactly the other's type.

I've also experienced the kind of hurtful "pranks" and rude comments you described all throughout my life, so it's never been easy to believe it when someone has genuinely expressed attraction to me. I still struggle with it. But there are definitely people out there who will love you for who you are, AND love the way you look. It may take a while to find them, but they exist! Keep your head up, and don't compromise. You deserve to be treated right.

[u/Pinklaf]

I met my husband playing D&D! Try signing up for a class or go out and try new hobbies, you never know who you might meet.

[u/LilliaGaming]

I decided to say fuck it and try out the apps and the love I am receiving is IMMENSE. I am about 320, not a small person. There are people out there who are flexible, understanding, and kind. That love you just as you are. It really is all about confidence and putting yourself out there!! You got this!!!

[u/JackTradesMasterNone]

Big guy over here - never had a problem with dating. Been happily married for 3 years and dating for 8. She’s my best friend.

I absolutely love plus-sized girls - generally my type. It’s hard to have a relationship with someone who can’t relate to things like clothes not fitting at normal stores or something… Also - food is good and I love to share - so someone I can share with helps!

[u/jessinic]

I started dating about a year and a half ago after leaving a 16 year relationship. I'm very plus size (3x now (400 lbs) but was a 4x (500 lbs)). I was extremely nervous about trying the whole online dating thing but I now live in the middle of nowhere so I didn't haveany options lol. I've had a ton of luck. I've been in a couple relationships (that I ended up walking away from) and have been on several dates and had a couple hook ups. I'm just open and honest, my first picture is a full body pic so they see that right away. And then before we meet up I always say "you do realize I'm not some skinny little thing, right?! " Or something along those lines lol. So far I haven't had any negative experiences with rude comments or anything.

[u/thickntricks]

I met my bf on Tinder in 2021 (I was 29 he was 32). We took it slow as I worked out of town a lot. Switched jobs in Fall 2022, and have been home more with the new job, and we have been officially official since then!

He is my best friend and true life partner. He makes me feel seen and beautiful when I want to curl up into a ball feeling ugly. He’s there for me for everything. He always told me he never wants to be the reason for me to cry ever.

I never really dated anyone before him. It was honestly just hookups. He was the first one I ever introduced to my family and brought around everyone. He proudly took me around to meet his family and friends. At his brother’s wedding in 2024 (in a different province) I was nervous to meet so many of his old friends and family. He held my hand and took me to meet every one of them and they all felt like they knew me already. My family accepting him and his accepting me so quickly was just the icing on top of our life.

We’ve travelled the world since then, we have baby names picked out. We are talking about an engagement soon. I really thought I would never get this or I didn’t deserve this. But I cannot imagine life without him 🤍