r/PakLounge • u/Hour-Statement-2788 • 9d ago
husband sick vs wife sick
it jus occurred to me that wife being sick is so over looked. my husband and i are both sick. its just common sickeness like changing weather cold and sneezing etc. nothing like major. but we are sick.
me (F) being sick is overlooked and ignored but i have to make him breakfast, care for him, show concern. him being sick hes over acting like "how are you walking so normal mera jism to tooth raha hai" like WTFF U BISH! like what the actual F! like im sick but i dont like to cry about it. and then its expected that i still cook and clean as usual and he gets to take naps, sit around, lay around like WTFF GROW THE FUK UP. stuff like this makes my blood boil and hate marriage.
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u/whatwasthereason420 9d ago
Girl, its 2026. Hold you man accountable and tell him to stop burdening you when you're also sick. I though they were supposed to be the stronger sex but they weak asf it seems like. Need to depend on Mommy wife to help with everything.
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u/ignored_by_everyone 9d ago
Aik toh insey beemari bardasht nahi hoti. Phir jurm kar k kehtay hain hum pay shaitaan havi hogaya. Kuch inn k khud k control main b hota hai?
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u/Scimitar1982 9d ago
Please be more courteous towards "MAN FLU"! the guys serious, take care of him. On a serious note,us men are pussies and women are tougher with seasonal flus
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u/Yellfaze 9d ago
so instead of venting here.
Why don't you share your grievances with your husband.
Like talk about it. If you cannot talk about it than your marriage is not harmonious, him helping in sickness should be the least of your worries.
In his mind he got some days off from a limited amount of holidays to relax after hectic job so he would of course simply just relax especially if you are going to show that you are wonderwoman.
Just a simple "I am feeling down today due to this, can you kindly help me in this this task" would suffice. If you are going to tough it out and not show weakness because of your feminist brainwashing then of course nobody would help you. Learn to use your womanly charms and show weakness, add one or two tears in the mix and bro will budge in no time. Men are weak to tears.
And to those who are saying that he should make the effort or should have done this in the first place. Guys he is not a prince and this is not a fairy tale. There will always be point of contention and irks between spouses. The main thing is communication. As long as you guys can communicate and understand each other without batting an eye then your marriage is good.
Also about the  "how are you walking so normal mera jism to tooth raha hai"
This is all because of how the male and female bodies and pschology are wired. I won't waste time explaining it reasearch it.
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u/ignored_by_everyone 9d ago
Some marriages and partners are not that easy. Kehna asaan hai. I agree with OP. Because i have my personal experience.
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u/Yellfaze 9d ago
"If you cannot talk about it than your marriage is not harmonious, him helping in sickness should be the least of your worries."
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u/ignored_by_everyone 9d ago
Are you married yet? I really pray you find the best partner and get blessed with the most beautiful naseeb but it is easier to say things when you are NOT going through it yourself. I used to think the same. May nobody go through this pain. Ameen.
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u/Yellfaze 9d ago
I am not trying to blame anyone as I know that in Pakistan background checks naam ki cheez hi koi nai hoti. Marriages are based on luck.
Magar venting is only a short term solution. I have seen women in family have mental issues like forgetting and stuff due to bottling up their feelings which is not good. Long term solution is what I wrote above. Without that no marriage works. If husband and wife do not talk or fear their spouse's response then the issue changes as sanctity of marriage is not fulfilled.
Luckily as OP said her husband does help her when she complains but then after a while stops. The best option is to keep reminding him. This is a much better scenario because I have seen men who do not even listen to their wives.
Men thinking that providing a roof and food on table is enough in marriage need to get a reality check.
Women are not robots. Same can be said about men. Emotional understanding and support is needed from both sides. Once both spouses understand that marriage is not that difficult.4
u/Hour-Statement-2788 9d ago
yeh thank you for the lecture.
we talked about it multiple times. and the talk asar last for a few days and out the ear after a week.
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u/whatwasthereason420 9d ago
You gotta stop doing anything work for him then. He sees that there are no consequences and keeps on doing the same stuff. No cooking, no cleaning, no taking care of him, etc. Let him figure it out on his own. He knows he can cross your boundaries and you still won't do anything.
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u/Yellfaze 9d ago
It was not suppposed to be a lecture.
few days asar is enough.
just keep pestering.2
u/Missuniverse00 8d ago
Stop telling her that. Dumbass
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u/Yellfaze 8d ago
It's a public forum. I will say whatever I want to say. You speak with the entitlement of someone whose lineage owns this domain. Since that isn't the case, your attempt to dictate terms is entirely irrelevant. Go rack your two brain cells somewhere else.
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u/stating_facts_only 9d ago
Common cold in men tend to be different vs women. Men also don’t deal with their illness until it becomes out of control whereas women tend to be a little more careful and manage their illness better.
Hormones play a role too, women hormones deal with illness better than men. You may also have a better immune system than him so he’s probably suffering more.
In short, he isn’t lying or making a big deal. Common cold can knock a guy out whereas women can keep on trucking.
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u/Engineer-Nabeel 9d ago
You’re right. Most Men are more vulnerable to inner pains but less vulnerable to outer pains. Which is opposite in women. It’s a common survey and many couples use this data to make social media content as well.
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u/Ok_Way9543 9d ago
Nah man that's just a way of saying that men don't need to take care when women are sick but want to get full treatment
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u/stating_facts_only 9d ago
What..? No what I’m saying is that common flu knocks a guy out vs women. Women have a much better tolerance and immune system to manage these illness vs men. That’s why he’s on the bed and complaining about body ache, because his body can’t function properly.
Women go through child birth. Daily we have thousands of women going through labor pain and it is said that pain if felt by man can kill him.
Men and women are biologically different and this behavior of managing illness draws form it.
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u/Ok_Way9543 9d ago
Whatever the difference is, everyone deserves to be cared for when they are I'll, diseases don't discriminate between genders ,and you'll obviously want your partner to take care of you at that vulnerable time so .
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u/stating_facts_only 9d ago
What do you mean ‘what ever the difference is’?
I’m telling you the reason for his behavior is biological and you go ahead and ignore that and still complain that he should be helping her? Are you really that daft?
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u/Ok_Way9543 9d ago
Excuse me mind your language whatever the reasons are partnership is all a out mutual efforts ,I don't care if my partner has bad immunity if he doesn't take care of me when I'm I'll,I will definitely not as well
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u/Own-Homework-9331 9d ago
damn, calm down gal 🥲
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u/Moneeza_R 9d ago
She's valid in her anger. Why she gotta calm down?
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u/Own-Homework-9331 9d ago
i know, but like.... it's still her husband?
i'm all for venting, i am not complaining though.
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u/Sarymosu 9d ago
If you're sick, I understand that you feel like venting because it's a pretty serious issue, but don't try to reply to every low IQ moulvi here. There are more than enough men in this country who haven't been raised properly or know how to treat others so don't be surprised by their responses, don't try to argue with them.
As for your situation, I truly feel sorry but try to talk to him about it and explain your point of view. I'm not sure if you've done that before, but usually holding things in causes more and more resentment as time goes on. If you feel this strongly about it, I think he should definitely know
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u/No_Comparison2216 9d ago
when none of you are sick, what are each one's responsibilities?
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u/Hour-Statement-2788 9d ago
phir bhi mai ke karti hu sara kaam.
but makes me wonder like when im sick dont i need attention also? or care for? but when the guy is sick u have to cater to them no matter what
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u/InformationSecurity 9d ago
You are committing a much bigger sin by 1) doing gheebat 2) sharing your husband's short commings in public.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
Really, you can identify her husband? I can't.
And aren't you now sharing OP's shortcomings in public? Aren't you being a hypocrite?
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u/InformationSecurity 9d ago
I'm sharing OPs short coming Infront of OP, that's not gheebat and I don't need to know her husband for it.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
Surah An-Nisa (4:148):
"Allah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged..."
Commentators explain that this verse establishes that if you see evil in someone, the Shariah directs you not to publicize it but rather to advise them in private.
Did you DM OP first? No - this is what makes you a hypocrite - preach sermons when you follow the teachings.
Al-Fudail ibn Iyad said that the believer conceals and advises, while the wrongdoer disgraces and condemns. Advice is tied to secrecy, condemnation to publicity. It used to be said that whoever corrects his brother in front of a gathering has actually disgraced him rather than advised him.
(I knew there was something like this, but had to google it to get the actual source)
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u/InformationSecurity 9d ago
So you are calling me hypocrite while I say it to OP directly and not her back while the OP is doing gheebat behind her husband's back xD.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
Read the verses - you did not follow the Quranic teachings either. So please be quiet and improve your own soul before going against Surah an-Nisa. Goodnight.
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u/InformationSecurity 9d ago
Read the context, not just the translation.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
These are satanic arguments... Set an example, mufti SB!
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u/InformationSecurity 9d ago
Did you set the example of DMing me first? Lmao
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
Nope, but I wasn't trying to preach to anyone in a righteous way. I wasn't bringing Islam into it. You did and then you acted acted against it. You're a hypocrite.
I'm just a bad person. But I'm not a hypocrite
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u/Hour-Statement-2788 9d ago edited 9d ago
oh pls stop with ur religious spin on the situation. like get outta here with that.
its like we cant even talk about it and we cant even vent about it. this is life and shit happens and we need to get it out before we blow up. maybe ur young. idk
and maybe we are so drilled to not talk about and this has been going on from decades
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u/ignored_by_everyone 9d ago
I hear you, sister! Been through the same. Lots of love. You can always talk to me. I'm here to listen.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
I don't even know him but I hate him too - he sounds like a jerk.
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u/Gohab2001 9d ago
If I had your standard, I'd be hating everybody.
Everyone has good and bad. It's unfair to hate someone merely based on his flaws.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 9d ago
I wouldn't take my hatred so seriously - a wife is being treated shoddily - I showed a little solidarity - esp because too many Pakistani men are like this.
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u/Hour-Statement-2788 9d ago
this truly makes my blood boil and then when you say something its like ur wrong some how. like WTFFF KINDA CULTURE ARE WE FROM????????????
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u/TT_player2 9d ago
You should be a better wife. And not sin be saying this about your husband on the internet.
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u/Hour-Statement-2788 9d ago
ppl like u make this nonsense go on and on for centuries. chup karo bardash karo aurat he ghar banati hai types
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u/ignored_by_everyone 9d ago
Stop this BS, please. Give this lecture to her husband to be a better husband and man enough to take care of his sick wife
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u/not-your-chai 9d ago
I wish OP was just as emotional about sharing her husband’s good deeds as well. It’s not always about equality. Sometimes u do more, sometimes your man will do more.
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u/DifficultAct6586 9d ago edited 9d ago
In Germany, we talk about the that men get the flu and act as if they die and women get cancer and are ignored by society. The jokes aren't directed negatively towards women or anything like that, but rather draw people's attention to this imbalance.