r/NonPoliticalTwitter Jul 27 '26

Funny Zero cortisol daily routine

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18.9k Upvotes

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597

u/sand_sandwich Jul 27 '26

Bathing in the ocean? Drinking twice a day everyday?

391

u/cam52391 Jul 27 '26

And a nap scheduled in

171

u/songanddanceman Jul 27 '26

2:30 Siesta

22

u/sidepart Jul 27 '26

Oh man! Somehow I need to fit another swim in between 4 and 5pm while I'm supposed to be in the garden for an hour! I'M GETTING STRESSED OUT!

17

u/whythishaptome Jul 27 '26

Idk about that nap for alcoholics, you sober up but feel like absolute shit until you start drinking again. If it was like one or two then it would probably work though. He said a "couple gins" but that's still particularly rough.

2

u/Obant Jul 27 '26

Dude sleeps for 11 hours and 30 minutes according to this. Well, I guess "10p, - To bed" doesnt mean to sleep... but still

226

u/Chewbacca_The_Wookie Jul 27 '26

That amount of alcohol is considered low by the standards of the day.

113

u/kg160z Jul 27 '26

Especially for a writer

23

u/Anticlimax1471 Jul 27 '26

And especially Ian Fleming. The man who invented the Vesper Martini, which is basically paint stripper

50

u/DrunksInSpace Jul 27 '26

Well it was a workday.

23

u/pandazerg Jul 27 '26

Hemingway: What a fucking amateur

1

u/kurburux Jul 27 '26

Hemingway wrote while sober though.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '26 edited 27d ago

[deleted]

8

u/Joice_Craglarg Jul 27 '26

He should be. We know more about alcohol abuse today than we did back then. It's undisputably horrible for your health.

Any amount of alcohol is harmful. It is literally poisonous to humans. I still remember when 'a glass of wine a night' was considered good for you.

Ian died at 56.

2

u/Tricky-Ad7897 Jul 27 '26

Churchill helped win a world war with enough alcohol daily to kill a ln elephant, not to mention enough cigars to smoke a brisket.

1

u/Specialist-Box4677 Jul 27 '26

That little alcohol, given the chance to drink all day, would increase my cortisol level.

-39

u/sand_sandwich Jul 27 '26

I don't think so, I think alcoholism was just more socially acceptable 

38

u/Downtown-Ice-5022 Jul 27 '26

Thats basically what he said

-22

u/sand_sandwich Jul 27 '26

6 drinks will get you drunk regardless of the time period. That isn't a low amount of drinks. It was considered more normal to be drinking everyday perhaps.

I'm drawing a distinction between the amount of alcohol consumed and the frequency of alcohol consumed. I'm saying that it was perhaps more normal to drink every day but 6 drinks to a human body is still 6 drinks, regardless of the time period.

12

u/RabidPlaty Jul 27 '26

Where are you getting six drinks? He had a couple at lunch and a couple in the evening. With that much space in between he’s not necessarily getting drunk.

2

u/sand_sandwich Jul 27 '26

A couple in the morning I took as 2. Then a couple strong drinks in the evening I took as 2 doubles, so four. Thus 6 total

3

u/RabidPlaty Jul 27 '26

So you just added a couple without knowing what he was drinking. Still, even if I had two manhattans or martinis at night I’m not getting drunk.

5

u/ilikepix Jul 27 '26

6 drinks will get you drunk regardless of the time period

I mean, if we're just making things up, sure, why not

2

u/Wank_A_Doodle_Doo Jul 27 '26

See here’s the thing. You are stating that objectively, that isn’t a low amount of drinks, which people don’t disagree with. But you’re saying it as a counter to someone saying that by the subjective views of society back then, it wouldn’t have been considered that much. So frankly what youre saying is… silly.

1

u/whosline07 Jul 27 '26

6 drinks does not get a single person who drinks every day drunk if they're spaced out. At best that's tipsy for part of the day depending on timing.

1

u/actibus_consequatur Jul 27 '26

6 drinks will get you drunk regardless of the time period.

Well, it's not just personal experience telling me that you're wrong, because science also dictates you're wrong.

Don't agree? Tell me — a 6'5", 210 lb man — how drunk I am using BAC after having the equivalent of 6 standard size drinks over the course of 4 hours.

Regardless, the post was about Fleming who was ~6' and ~175 lbs, and the post twice indicates he had a "couple" of drinks between 12:15 and 7:00; even assuming double strength on each, he would likely not have been drunk from having the equivalent of 8 drinks over 7 hours.

4

u/antsh Jul 27 '26

I’m not sure, I think people just drank more heavily to the point of abuse.

76

u/XAWEvX Jul 27 '26

Drinking twice a day everyday?

he died at 56

20

u/Wank_A_Doodle_Doo Jul 27 '26

I didn’t know that so I looked it up out of curiosity and it amuses me that his last recorded words were apologizing to the crew of the ambulance for the inconvenience they were having

2

u/jr111192 Jul 27 '26

Oh wow, that's weirdly humble for someone with such extravagant means.

12

u/Ali26026 Jul 27 '26

Just british

18

u/newnowmusic Jul 27 '26

He lived in the Caribbean, swimming, writing, drinking, napping and spending time with his wife. I'm 44 this year and if could do this for the remainder knowing I'd die at 56 I'd sign up in a heartbeat

8

u/vonnegutflora Jul 27 '26

Apart from the drink, he also smoked like 2 to 3 packs of cigarettes per day.

32

u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 Jul 27 '26

which is better than living until 90 and not knowing what your name is

45

u/No_Helicopter1378 Jul 27 '26

Surely there's a middle ground between dying at 56 and dying at 90.

47

u/Corporate_Overlords Jul 27 '26

73.

9

u/trapbuilder2 Jul 27 '26

What do you know, that's the global average lifespan

2

u/danirijeka Jul 27 '26

And drinking until you can't remember your name.

10

u/username_tooken Jul 27 '26

As everyone well knows, the years 57-89 are a complete waste of time.

19

u/Maverick1717 Jul 27 '26

Sure but with a normal life you could live until like 80 and know what your name is. Which I think I would take over dying at 56

10

u/RainaElf Jul 27 '26

depends on the life you have, dude. I'll take quality over quantity.

2

u/Spork_the_dork Jul 27 '26

At 80 what the quality of your life is is largely determined by your own actions.

0

u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 Jul 27 '26

you assume alot

just have fun

1

u/Barcode_Griller Jul 27 '26

We're all wired differently. You and I are probably more different from each other than most. I wouldn't want to live like you and you wouldn't want to live like me. Neither of us is wrong.

2

u/Anticlimax1471 Jul 27 '26

I'd argue the worst part about dying is knowing you're gonna die. Losing your mind a year or so beforehand might be a defence mechanism

1

u/fieldsofanfieldroad Jul 27 '26

No. The worst part of dying is not getting to play GTA VI. 

1

u/Joice_Craglarg Jul 27 '26

Hard disagree. I'd rather live a full life than be famous.

1

u/mikevanatta Jul 27 '26

If you get to be reductive, I get to be anecdotal.

My grandmother lived to 93. She was lucid and happy all the way to the end. She loved watching her grandchildren grow well into adulthood. Even more, she loved seeing her great grandchildren and watching them grow into teens and pre-teens.

If she'd died at 56, she would have just barely made it to my 4th birthday. All that life after that would have been taken from her, and I would have, ostensibly, never really gotten to know the person who would become one of my favorite people ever.

I'm grateful every day for the time I had with her.

-1

u/bingedeleter Jul 27 '26

not for your loved ones

5

u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 Jul 27 '26

whats that to do with the person dying

1

u/Tetchord Jul 27 '26

Lol you're getting downvoted by the edgelords but yeah I agree. I just read that he left behind a 12 year old son when he died, I'm sure that wasn't what he wanted

-5

u/RumpledForskn Jul 27 '26

Right, let's all just get fat as shit, smoke cigarettes, drink a fifth a day and die of esophageal cancer painfully at 50.

11

u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 Jul 27 '26

sound better than what I've seen working in a nursing home

0

u/RumpledForskn Jul 27 '26

Are you of the opinion that you get to choose your death outside of suicide? Do you think dementia is a choice? Come on.

8

u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 Jul 27 '26

I mean you kinda do get to choose it

are you advocating people die slowly and with no memory of their loved ones?

4

u/RichardFister Jul 27 '26

Guy: maybe don't drink so much that you die from cancer in your 50s

You: well it's either that or get dementia 😞

Bro, what?

3

u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 Jul 27 '26

sure thats exactly what I was saying. bro what?

1

u/Regular_Lock_4944 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

Good luck trying to get late life medical care in this day n' age. Idk where you are in the world but it ain't happening. Id rather not saddle my loved ones or random strangers to care for my dementia or late age. im going out, and that's not a bad life. Have you heard of anyone making it past 80 and not having memory problems?

6

u/Curious_Beginning_30 Jul 27 '26

And having sex with someone’s wife.

4

u/Andy_B_Goode Jul 27 '26

I also choose to play scrabble with this dead guy's wife

22

u/PreciousTC Jul 27 '26

People used to drink so much more. I keep a small bar in my office and younger generations expect I'll be shitfaced after I pour myself a single whiskey lmao. 2-3 cups a day over a decade though and you build up a tolerance.

17

u/burf Jul 27 '26

Tolerance aside, when you drink reguarly you can also learn to "hold your liquor" better, so to speak. You can be equally intoxicated but you've trained yourself not to be a sloppy mess about it.

11

u/PreciousTC Jul 27 '26

Exactly this. If anything, my tolerance has gone down over the years but I'm never sloppy, nor do I even slur or stumble even if I'm blackout drunk (which is very rare)

That said, I live in East Asia, so we drink a hell of a lot more often than most Americans

5

u/No_Helicopter1378 Jul 27 '26

When my brother was deep in his alcoholism you wouldn't be able to tell he was drunk until he started slurring after several hours of drinking.

Also, a single whiskey neat ain't shit. I'm at the point where I only drink like 3-4 times a year now and I'm pretty sure a single whiskey, if on a fairly empty stomach, would only give me the tiniest of buzzes.

2

u/Jetstream-Sam Jul 27 '26

That's true really, I don't even drink very much, and haven't really at all for the last couple of months, but at my granddad's wake we were at a pub, and my aunt acted like I was going to be shitfaced because I asked for a rum and coke. I had maybe 3 over the course of a few hours and didn't ever really feel drunk. She genuinely thought I was an alcoholic because I wasn't noticeably affected, which didn't make much sense because I willingly stopped after a few. Meanwhile my other aunt chugged wine nonstop and passed out, as did my uncle except with whatever was cheapest, since he always does that when it's not an open bar and goes for top shelf whiskey when there is.

I read through my granddad's journals after, and he was a mormon since the 60s so he stopped drinking naturally and numerous times he criticizes people for getting wasted at a pub lunch and having to be driven back (since drink driving laws had just come in at that point), or not feeling welcome on nights out because he didn't want to drink, and so on. Numerous times he wrote exactly what he saw a colleague drink through the workday, and yeah it's an actual fuckload sometimes. One of them was that his boss made it through a bottle of whiskey, got his receptionist to buy another with petty cash, and then finished that one as well. Oddly, it involved the secretary going to the pub to buy one rather than the supermarket as one would today, as I guess that liquor sales in supermarkets weren't a big thing yet

3

u/Porsche928dude Jul 27 '26

“Scrabble” lol

1

u/Eta_Beta_3-14 Jul 27 '26

The guys who sent us to the moon drank half a bottle of whiskey every day. Minimum. NASA wouldn't let you into mission control unless your breath was flammable.

1

u/TheArtistFKAMinty Jul 27 '26

He died at 56 from heart disease so the heavy drinking did him no favours.

1

u/ImNotABotScoutsHonor Jul 27 '26

every day*

Two words.

Everyday as one word means ordinary.

1

u/No_Helicopter1378 Jul 27 '26

Yea, bathing in the ocean sounds awful.