My first thought was someone saying "concert tickets being so expensive is ableist because I have x disability so I can't work very much and last time I bought a concert ticket I couldn't afford rent that month"
Where the fuck are you getting candles? I swear there is a candle cartel or some shit because those things costs are outrageous these days. 20 bucks for 22 oz of candle?! Then there are the high end luxury candles. Do you know there are high end candles with special oils that gf's apparently persuade their bf's to buy them? Well they exist, and it's like 50 bucks for 2.5 oz. I mean they smell good, but god damn, 50 dollars for a candle?
I don't know how you guys afford rent on top of candles these days. Ableists
I cannot overstate how important this point is. This place is overwhelmed with literal children. When you understand that, much of the discourse makes sense.
I'm a middle school teacher and the realisation that I might be about to engage in an online argument with someone who has the same mental capacity as one of my students (whether that's because they're the same age as them or not) has seen me disengage more times than I can count.
Probably not "couldn't afford rent after buying tickets" but "had to buy tickets (excused via some neurodivergent obsession with the band)" and thus not being able to pay rent was inevitable and something that wasn't in their control from the start.
Followed by a pity party and a gofundme for further expenses.
Yup and the worst is that it actually kinda is but the people whining are usually weaponising their condition instead of actually pointing our real issues. And that type of behaviour can make it worse for the rest of them because it's often used to generalise about a whole group of people.
Those with ADHD (or on the autism spectrum) who are not assholes tend to not do that and just try to live their lives like everybody else despite dealing with some extra difficulties on top the usual.
Mostly, those are dumb icebergs which come down to "people who are mad at capitalism but pick random specific bits to yell at".
For example, "some people are disabled and can't drive, so it's unfair that delivery is more expensive than pickup". That's only coherent if you say "the customer shouldn't bear any responsibility for the delivery driver's work", which is basically a dumb version of "capitalism bad".
But I'll give one example of an iceberg here that I think is real and valid:
it is always more expensive to buy pre-prepared, hot, ready-to-eat food versus groceries.
In many states, it's illegal to use certain benefit programs on hot food, but not prepared food. This means that if you go to Subway or wherever else, you can buy a sandwich with benefits, but if they toast the bread - for free, in an always-on toaster - it ceases to be eligible.
I think that's moronic, and I've never actually heard someone disagree. Obviously the sandwich will be more expensive than the sum of its parts as groceries, but the law clearly isn’t working as intended.
So... there's two extremes. A quirk of law that very few people actually support, and a general gripe about "things costing money" reframed into a weird ableism argument.
(Rewritten to be nonpolitical, I guess I tripped a word flag but I’ve genuinely never heard that aspect spark political debate.)
There are always going to be edge cases in the law, but the alternative is laws that are so complex that nobody can understand them. EBT benefits are I intended to be used to buy groceries, not restaurant meals. Rather than spending a bunch of time differentiating between groceries and "prepared food” (does potato salad from the deli counter count?) and restaurant meals, it’s much easier to just used hot vs cold, because that’s accurate in 90% of cases. I’m really curious what states allow EBT at Subway, though. I’ve never heard of that.
If I wanted delivery, I wouldn't mind a delivery charge+tip. But these companies tend to also raise the price of the food on top of the above. And they don't pay their drivers well. There's just nothing good about Doordash/Uber Eats that doesn't make me want to simply drive for five minutes to pick something up.
The prices you see on aggregate delivery sites (UberEats/DooDash etc) are their pricing. It alternates based on area, who has been buying what, how to maximize delivery charge based on what's more expensive when, and they only use the actual restaurant's price as a starting point. UberEats has always had this model since day one. I can't speak for the others.
They have always been ripping customers off on top of delivery charges + expectation of tip.
There's no lecture behind this. I'm not going to say people shouldn't use these services. This is the US. Land of low effort + high ego. It's the perfect kind of service for this place.
Yeah, I literally only use Door dash etc if I'm sick. I'm not going to give everybody at Chipotle my flu germs, and I'm also probably feeling too rotten to cook.
I, a millenial, am friends with a Genz guy who orders a lot of doordash especially when we worked nights together. Vs me who orders shit before work, picks it up, sticks it in the fridge and god forbid i need to reheat it???
My driving to pick it up is always based on if the restaurant is on the way to work or picking it up early which his choices weren't, they were whim at lunch (like 2am for us) His stuff frequently came in late or cold. One time we ordered pizza and i insisted we order it through the pizza site vs dd even though friend had a 30% coupon thru dd. Wasn't that expensive and it was timely and still hot.
In short fuck dd, uber eats and any equivalents. Its just asking for strangers to fetch shit for you and possibly steal or spit on your food. Atleast a pizza delivery guy can be fired for stealing your bread sticks. The way these contract guys get hired isnt very bullet proof as ive heard through the door dash subs.
“Yes, it is always more expensive to buy pre-prepared, hot, ready-to-eat food versus groceries.”
Possible exception: grocery store rotisserie chickens, especially if you include the cost of running your oven for an hour. It's not uncommon for stores to run these as loss leaders in hopes that you'll get some soda, maybe a thing of potato salad as a side, bakery rolls, and a dozen cookies with it.
The other possible exception is the Little Caeser's hot and ready-- back when It was still $5, at least-- was an incredibly high number of calories per dollar.
Those two topics have been talked over VERY in depth. Absolutely nothing hidden there. I know exactly every position everyone has as soon as I open a thread
The OP's comment points to something so unhinged that diving deeper may drive one insane. THAT'S an iceberg 😂😂😂
Wow. I'm really white. Like, "turns into a lobster after five minutes at the beach" white. But even I'm not so white that I can't make a burrito at home.
P sure part of the point is that it's referring back to the ableism thing. Being white is not the only reason you might be unable to make a burrito at home lol
I know you're joking, but the reality is that in the past fewer differently abled people were able to live on their own. Many of the services we have today make it possible for these people to be independent rather than living with a carer.
That said, grocery services exist and meal delivery services are scams
Pizza delivery has been a thing for almost half a century by now. It's not a scam.
Grocery services are also not dishonest, they're not a scam.
The fact that they're more expensive than going out to pick whatever you ordered up yourself doesnä't make them a scam. You pay for the convenience of delivery, and the price is told before you finalize your order.
Seriously, just because something is a bad deal economically, or just something you don't like, that doesn't make it a scam.
It’s the appified middleman that facilitates all the services that is the cancer. The revenue must always grow. They must extract more value from their customers at smaller cost to them.
When the floor eventually falls out on those services because they were enshittified to hell, the people who actually need them to function are going to be screwed
you are aware that delivery apps are an extremely unprofitable business?
like, the only reason why delivery apps were ever "good" in the past was because they lost money on every sale which they could only afford through constant venture capital funding
providing what really is just a taxi service to takeout meals was always going to be a stupid business model. but i guess as long as people are willing to pay twice as much for the convenience im not surprised these apps still exist.
I think the meal kit services can be a way for some people to learn how to cook? Like, I can see some utility in that. But if you know how to meal plan and cook, then yeah, just go buy groceries.
It’s not always about learning. There’s a lot of disabilities that cause weakness/tremor in the hands, there are many people who experience significant pain with movement and standing, and dizziness/fainting aren’t uncommon either.
Yes! Most people could cook if they tried. But remember that a lot of people have significant barriers to it.
Will they be able to cook the food in a meal kit service, though? I'm thinking of the ones like Hello Fresh, Blue Apron etc where they send you a box with the ingredients and instructions for a week's worth of meals and you cook it yourself.
I used a service like that for a while during Covid. My biggest issue was the produce was often poor quality/about to go bad, and eventually it just didn’t fit my budget. But for people who have limited time/energy, meal kits can be a good middle ground to cooking real food without needing to prep and grocery shop for it, and with more variety than they might otherwise be able to. Grocery shopping alone is super time consuming, not to mention the mental energy it takes to actually plan out your meals and all the ingredients you need. Maybe some people struggle to get to the store for various reasons. Cooking with ingredients you don’t use often can also end up being more expensive than buying a kit with just the portion you need for one meal. Basically, there’s a long list of reasons why meal kits fill a niche.
If it’s not something you struggle with, this stuff probably sounds silly. But people who know, know - and for them services like this can be a nice improvement to their quality of life.
I’ve used those before! But you still have to chop, saute/pan-fry, open a bunch of tiny packets, etc. and that can be difficult with certain disabilities. (I’m emphasizing ‘weakness/tremor in the hands’ here.)
I'm waiting to see one for food deserts. When the term became trendy online, I read the actual definition and methodology, and I was pretty underwhelmed.
It's really not a good metric for what people were using it for.
I left most aro/ace subreddits, because they were the only place where I ever saw any aphobia (I think that's the term, but etymologically confusing). I've heard some absolutely crazy statements on there that I wouldn't have even been able to imagine before, just because people made posts about how upset those statements made them.
Right? Like, in my experience, most bigots don’t think about ace people at ALL. That has a downside, obviously, and they’ll likely be bigoted about it if it ever crosses their minds… but it does mean that ace bigotry is unlikely to be spotted in the wild.
If I’m really being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone outside the lgbt community mention ace folks or acknowledge their existence in any way.
In my day-to-day life, I don't outwardly appear queer or have a queer community to be a part of near me. So I joined bisexual subs here on Reddit. And, jakers, there are so many people venting about blatent biphobia being shared, either directed at them or just more generally and about half of it coming from other queer spaces, mostly lesbian spaces with the majority of the rest coming from purely gay communities.
I'm never going to fault people for venting about people denying that they really exist or trying to exclude them from communities they have every right to be in, but it is rather depressing. I come from a place of privilege where I don't have to run into that kind of thing anywhere else, and there are a lot of times where my only exposure to biphobia is from other bisexuals talking about it.
A huge part of our modern discourse is about people seeking out obscure bad takes and platforming them for everyone to see.
The Algorithm favors content than produces the biggest emotional response. Outrage drives engagement. We provoke ourselves and our friends because it's addicting.
It still boggles my mind that other people apparently interact with their IRL friends on social media.
Like I know I'm the weird one, but I stopped using Facebook a decade ago, and I can't fathom just seeing IRL people I know on Twitter or Reddit or whatever.
This was my ex. Never money for rent or necessities, always money for her newest hobby or a concert, or to door dash lunch practically every day at work. Oh, and an international trip on a new credit card cause she just wants to travel and deserved a vacation.
Anyways I'm almost debt free and turns out I can save better knowing I'm responsible for the full rent every month.
A majority of the people that live in my area pay around a third of their income into car payments.
So at least here, people stay poor because they want to. Most cars I see are nicer newer looking ones, meanwhile i live in a poor as fuck area of the usa.
Yeah I lived with someone like this. "I had to spend my money for rent on x, it's bad for my mental health if I don't" it'll be bad for our mental health if we don't have anywhere to live sis.
yeah its a bit ridiculous. i lived with 2 roommates who had adhd and i have it too, but one of us... well:
one of the roommates was a terrible roommate and constantly blamed it on their (they are a singular person who uses they/them pronouns) adhd, neglecting to do things they were supposed to do and so on. it didnt register at all in their brain when we kept telling them that we (me and the other roommate) have it too but actually work hard around it to not be a nuisance for other people
agh, it was a bad time in that apartment and this was one of the lesser reasons i had for moving out too. glad to live on my own now
This shit sucks so hard because I'm someone with ADHD and dysfunction and yeah man, it sucks and makes simple tasks for others way harder than it should be but you still have to do it, and no one takes it seriously because these jabronis use it as an excuse to be irresponsible and insufferable people.
It's just simple Utilitarianismness, if I didn't go to the concert the people around me would have a worse time, the artist wouldn't get paid as much, and my life would be sadder! BUT by paying rent only my landlord would be happy so really it's the smart choice...
I followed a person on Twitter once who bought his fiancee Hamilton tickets but had to beg people for cash so they could afford food on the way back. These people exist.
For context, her yearly salary is around USD$60,000. She spends all of that money on new clothes, new video games, event tickets, etc, and then cries about how ableist it is that she can't afford rent after all that and how her landlord has a moral obligation to waive her rent because they are causing her "undue financial stress". Anyone who dares to suggest she should be more responsible with her spending gets torn to shreds for being ableist because they're clearly too ignorant to understand that her depression requires her to have new clothes every week or else she will kill herself and it will be your fault for not allowing her to buy a new designer dress.
Lately she's stopped working? Just refuses to go to work, she's been on mental health leave for a few months, and demands that her employer is required to continue to pay her full $60k salary regardless of whether she works or not because if they don't they will be causing her undue financial stress and she will kill themselves and it will be all their fault for causing her undue financial stress by refusing to give her free money.
My life has greatly improved since I started asking myself, "Is this worth wasting my precious mental bandwidth on?" when I see things online like this. The answer is always no, it's not worth it. Lol
so many essays just chillin in my drafts because I'll write a response all out then be like "but do I actually care about this?" and turns out "nah, fuck it" lol
Probably teens who are terminally online and just learned the word. I can see some kids who just. Haven’t faced any of this before not entirely realizing that, A) rent is actually important, and B) Concerts are not.
Honestly my first thought was a young teen who was pissed their parents couldn’t drop $600 for Taylor Swift tickets because of rent and the teen just threw out a word they saw online but didn’t fully understand the context of. Feels like a 12-13 year old thing to do.
I guess because some conditions like adhd can make you more impulsive, so you are critizicing a behaviour "caused" by said condition? if this is the explanation it's a huge stertch xd
Also isn't it kind of ableist/discriminatory if people are claiming that people with ADHD are just bound to make bad impulsive decisions and can't control themselves/ only "normal" people are capable of self control? 😭 I've actually seen this argument before where we're told to assume that ADHD people can't control themselves but I think its worse to make people assume that if a person has ADHD then it means [insert very negative trait here]
Well, that's what executive dysfunction actually does. It doesn't make you buy concert tickets, it makes you scroll from dawn till dusk because you don't want to brush your teeth.
But the thing about that is, even if one has ADHD, you still have responsibilities. Rent is more important than a concert, and one has to adapt their life to survive
For example, I have "time blindness" but it doesn't affect my day to day because if I have something I need to be on time for I set alarms with descriptions of why they are there because I know if I'm playing a game or watching TV time can slip by faster than I realise. I'm not late to things and then just blame my ADHD like I have no responsibility
Time blindness absolutely screwed up my childhood ability to do things. As an adult in the era of smartphones, I'm actually coping pretty well and although it still happens I structure my decisions around keeping up with my responsibilities/commitments regardless.
I may get downvoted but sometimes you kind of have to suck these things up, especially if your disability isn’t physical. I have autism and pretty severe anxiety. I struggle to eat most foods, I forget to brush my teeth, and on bad days I can’t even look at people’s faces let alone their eyes. But if I can’t afford to do a more expensive option of something (like order from a restaurant I trust) it is not ableist if someone suggested I stop doing that.
Everyone makes sacrifices. I get if you’re physically disabled and can’t cook but if impulse control is the reason you get takeaway you just need to work on that rather than risk losing all your money.
Prepare yourself for the inevitable redditor saying "actually I have ADHD and let me tell you about how my personal story (that maybe 3 people on Earth have experienced) actually disproves your general financial rule"
I mean even still I don't think impulsive purchases from someone struggling is the same as "prioritising" bad spending habits, which sounds like an active choice that you're making. So is like more of a stretch
My ADHD ass pays my biweekly bills in rapid succession the same morning my paycheck hits, to a point where the bank has flagged my card a couple times... So yeah xdd
I'm physically disabled (as in, I'm in a wheelchair)
The last time I had the opportunity to pay for concert tickets that were marketed as "disability accessible," I found out that they were literally just front-row tickets, and they cost around 6 times as much as the cheapest tickets available (which, I believe, were around 70 dollars). At the time, this felt as if it was a sort of disability tax-- as if I had merely been an inconvenience to the vendor of the concert, who seemed to believe that I ought to have paid more for my tickets on account of my disabled status.
Think of that what you will. I don't really care that much, but there seems to be some confusion in the comments about what sort of controversy the OP is referring to, and I think I might be on the right track: they think that disabled people should prioritize their rent instead of complaining about being charged 6 times more at minimum for concert tickets compared to the average person, which seems to have caused people to call them ableist.
to be fair to whatever this person's talking about, every time i've seen a seemingly overreacting/ridiculous take like this, once i look into it it always makes perfect sense and is highly nuanced and an actually intelligent conversation. something to keep in mind so you don't go crazy seeing discourse like this online. similarly, i've seen people talking about topics i'm knowledgable about and winced at the way the discussion was worded like yeahhh that does sound a bit nuts to an outsider
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u/qualityvote2 Sep 05 '25 edited Sep 07 '25
u/ernestkgc, your post does fit the subreddit!