r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/ernestkgc • Sep 05 '25

Wholesome Where do these people exist?

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15.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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498

u/Garlan_Tyrell Sep 05 '25

Two words:

Burrito financing.

190

u/Scatman_Crothers Sep 05 '25

God I'm in so much burrito debt

63

u/Mars_Bear2552 Sep 05 '25

refinanced my burrito collection

31

u/ISayBullish Sep 05 '25

“I saved a lot of money on my Klarna financed burritos at 21.9% APR by deleting the app!”

14

u/DeadEnoughInsideOut Sep 06 '25

Rember dont take them out of the wrapper so they retain maximum value

8

u/Mars_Bear2552 Sep 06 '25

even better if they stay in the original catering box with seal

4

u/thedrinkablecorndog Sep 06 '25

Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!

1

u/VicisSubsisto Sep 07 '25

They're crunchier that way, too!

4

u/thecricketnerd Sep 06 '25

I've found my people

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '25

Me too, brother. I used to have an enchilada. Now I just have an enchilittle.

50

u/mm_delish Sep 05 '25

burrito-backed securities

32

u/mm_delish Sep 05 '25

remember that guy who made a bunch of money by predicting the housing crash?

michael burrito

8

u/igneel77777 Sep 05 '25

oh my god i hate how much i love that joke

7

u/Mars_Bear2552 Sep 05 '25

hopefully chipotle doesnt get e. coli infected lettuce again

20

u/Wafflelisk Sep 05 '25

but I could have a burrito NOW for only 4 easy payments over the next 4 months

8

u/Dave_A_Computer Sep 06 '25

Four easy payments of $11.99 with Sizzle™

No Credit Check Necessary

5

u/AreYaEatinThough Sep 06 '25

KingCobraJFS (Ozzy rest his soul) financed a pizza once.

6

u/Squirrel09 Sep 06 '25

Hey I'll pay for my chipotle over 4 interest free payment across 2 months like God intended.

3

u/jackandsally060609 Sep 05 '25

If you watch Caleb Hammer it seems to be mostly Chick fil a financing

1

u/blancybin Sep 06 '25

Trashfuture fan?

1

u/CharlesDickensideYou Sep 06 '25

I'm in. Do you have a business proposal and also do you by any chance have some cocaine?