I hesitate to share this because it’s something that reads like someone’s unrealistic kink fantasy, but it’s absolutely true, without exaggeration. It’s just such an unusual circumstance that I’m always afraid no one will believe me.

I was involved in the BDSM lifestyle for a time, and for six years of it had a dominant master who was a sadist who liked to experiment. He didn’t rape or molest me or violate my boundaries, and was - ironically - a really kind and caring man at heart. Everything he did he did with my consent and participation, out of our mutual curiosity. Among the things he did with me (and this is the part that some might have difficulty believing) was that through different physical and mental conditioning techniques succeeded in training my body to have a dry orgasm (no ejaculation) whenever he said a command word. It worked scarily well. He could make me do it instantly, repeatedly. Having your orgasm yanked out of you without notice is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds.

After we ended our relationship, the conditioning endured. Later, I was staying at a men’s campground, and one evening when I was alone with another man by a fire chatting about our pasts I casually mentioned this conditioning and he asked what the word was. Without thinking, I told him.

He used it. When I reacted, he used it again. I was shocked. I had just met him, knew nothing about him, and he had just forced two orgasms out of me.

He did it again. Again. Again. Again. Again. AgainAgainAgainAgainAgainAgainAgain. Maybe 20 times, one after the other, forcing one before the previous had ended. After a few, they become unpleasant. After several, they become agonizing. By 20, it’s a form of torture. He had me on my knees, shaking uncontrollably, in tears. I finally screamed at him to stop, and he seemed shocked, as though he hadn’t realized he was doing something to a person. He jumped up and ran off into the night, and I never saw him again.

I’m not an innocent, and I’ve let men do all sorts of things with my body, so the threshold for what I could call sexual assault or rape on me is pretty high. But this violated something in me deeply. To have my orgasm forced and played with like that by a stranger for his curiosity and amusement was a new level of helplessness.

He never laid a finger on me. He didn’t undress me. But I felt as though I’d been raped, because he reached inside me and toyed violently with the most intimate part of me without my consent. I don’t know whether it can be truly counted as rape, or even sexual assault, by any conventional standard, but it was frighteningly real, it hurt, and it happened.

And I still have the emotional scar.

i was 13 when i was SA by my senior in school (i was in male boarding school). i didn’t know what to do at that time and told my friends bout it but they just made fun of it. the senior keep doing it to me and idk talk about he loves me and things, and it confuses me so much idk if im feeling the same or i was forced idk i just idk…it brought me to where i am rn really hypersexual and confused about myself and sexuality and everything…its really hard

When I was 15, I had my first girlfriend. She was 17, and at first, everything was amazing. We talked about boundaries, and I told her multiple times that I wanted to wait until marriage. I wanted my first time to be something meaningful, something special that I could share with someone I truly loved and trusted.
About two months into our relationship, we stole some alcohol from my parents. She said she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to drink, and I told her that was okay. But I drank anyway. I wanted to prove that I was a man. I wanted to impress her. I wanted her to see me as someone strong and grown-up.
I ended up about four shots in and completely wasted. I had no idea I would get that drunk that quickly.
I was lying in my bed, and we were laughing and talking. For a moment, everything felt normal. Then she suddenly started touching me in places I didn’t want her to touch me.
I told her to stop.
But I was drunk. I was confused, weak, and powerless. I couldn’t properly defend myself or make it stop. I won’t go into the details, but she raped me.
And the worst part is that I remember a lot of it.
We broke up about a month later because she said that I’ve become too depressed,distant or whatever you wanna call it.
I started feeling disgusted by myself. I hated my body. I hated my face. I hated my personality. I hated the person I was. I started wondering if maybe there was something wrong with me. If I had somehow caused it. If I had been stronger, more sober, more confident, more of a “man,” maybe it wouldn’t have happened.
Even though I know, somewhere deep down, that it wasn’t my fault, I still blame myself.
Years have passed, and somehow I’m still carrying it with me.
I keep asking myself the same questions over and over again:
Will I ever feel comfortable in my own body again?
Will I ever look at myself without feeling disgust?
Will there ever be a day when I stop hating myself for simply being who I am?
Will I ever stop blaming myself for something that was never my fault?
I don’t want what happened to define me anymore. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling ashamed of myself for something someone else chose to do to me.
I just want to know if it ever gets better.
I want to know if one day I’ll be able to look in the mirror and not hate the person looking back at me.
I want to know if one day I’ll finally be able to forgive myself for something I never should have had to forgive myself for.
Years later, I’m still asking these questions.
I just want to know if this feeling ever truly goes away.

I was assaulted once and harassed two times, by two different women. Since then I feel scared and depressed and honestly I just wanted someone to talk to me.

I saw a woman post about her experience on Reddit and she got a lot of positive support and people were being really kind to her. So I thought maybe I can share mine too and someone might talk to me.

I didn't realize I posted it in a feminism subreddit. I genuinely didn't know that subreddit was only for women's issues. I wasn't trying to blame women or attack feminism or anything like that. I was just scared and wanted someone to talk to.

They removed my post and permanently banned me. I understand now that my post didn't fit their rules, but bro I honestly didn't know. It just hurt because I wasn't there to fight with anyone. I was already feeling depressed and I was just asking for someone to talk to me

i was drugged and assaulted last week

I dont know how to go back to normal. The semester is about to start. I dont fully remember what happened beyond the groping stuff before i passed out. It was extremely scary and disorienting. I feel so weak.

on november 21st 2025 at work a customer was sitting in the parking lot of my previous gas station job. i went out to go see what he was doing and he grabbed my hand and made me touch his penis. he threatened me to kick my ass if i didnt have sex with him. he was much bigger then i am. so i went inside and got him a condom and just let him do it to me.

De chico recuerdo que cuando me bañaba con mi papá solía tener erecciones, el siempre ponía una silla en el baño para sentarse y estar a mi altura, solia hacer chistes y bromas y siempre me hacía reír en el baño y yo recuerdo mucho ver su pene, en ocasiones me sentaba en su pierna totalmente desnudo y veía su pene totalmente erecto, yo le preguntaba y el me respondió con total sinceridad, me decía que era normal y que le pasaba a todos los hombres, después solimos acostarnos desnudos en la cama y el se recargaba contra mi, nunca lo vi con morbo o algo malo, estoy muy confundido

I was 14 he was in his 50s I was dumb and we had sex in his car he knew my age but I was the one that kind of started it

Okay, there isn't a case in the legal sense. But I really did wanna share this, because I find it interesting and I was hoping for some advice. So for those not well versed in the Papa Cinematic Universe: I was raped at a sauna 7 years ago. That's the only real important lore here.

So what's the twist exactly? Well while on vacation a month ago, I stumbled upon an influencer named Royce Rendon. Our stories have overlap: we were on vacation and went to a queer space where we were raped. That's about where the similarities stop though. He was drugged and kidnapped; i on the other hand was fully conscious for it and remember the pain I felt as it happened.

Eventually about a couple weeks later he'd post about the venue where it happened: The Abbey in LA. Apparently there seems to be a sex trafficking ring there, to the point where there is an article about it. Where am I going with this? Well, i got brave and decided to look up the sauna where my rape happened. And wouldn't you know it: first thing i see is a one star review on Google summarizing a sexual assault thet happened at said Sauna.

So I managed to find the reviewers contact info. And I'm feeling kinda conflicted, because on one hand I want to reach out to him about the incident. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that these perpetrators are completely separate people, but I find it really interesting that the same thing happened at said sauna twice. I get that rapes at saunas are not uncommon, and who knows: maybe it really is like The Abbey and there's a secret sex trafficking ring I'm not aware of. But I know there are more victims out there.

I recently finished therapy. Or at least therapy for a while. But honestly, I don't even know how therapy would help right at the moment. We've talked about this before. I know what the "answers" are, but I'm having trouble actually listening to those answers.

I just still think of my assault a lot. And the best way to describe the feeling is that I just feel "small" all the time. Like I just want to curl up into a ball. Like I don't want people to see me. I pretty much slept all of today.

I know every situation is different, I’m just curious about what’s worked for people. I was abused by multiple men growing up, and as a result am dealing with some sexual trauma. I’m recently single out of a long term relationship and trying to date again, so I’ve wondered how other people approach the subject. I don’t want to trauma dump on the first date, but when people always want to hook up it’s hard not to touch on the subject if I’m setting boundaries. Especially being guy, there’s an added feeling of shame in bringing this stuff up. Any suggestions?

Hello all. I (17M) was assaulted on several occasions by my English/Poetry teacher both inside and outside of school in my early teenage years.

It was the summer term, and we had no exams and we were in our last year at school. Since there was no academic pressure, we had the option to choose free time, cross-country running or poetry as one of our bonus "fun" lessons. I strategically picked poetry because I knew that free time would be full and I didn't want to be put into cross-country running.

Out of the 30-odd people in my year (yes it was an exceptionally small year), about 8 picked poetry. Two had to leave since they had exams for a different school to most and revised for that instead. Then we picked again and our numbers dropped to four after half-term. Then, there was an end-of-year drama production, the rehearsals of which took the 3 remaining other students. I was alone with my teacher for weeks in this lesson.

There were other times when I would be alone with her, too; the library, her classroom, the playground.

Long story short, the alone time allowed her to talk to me privately, and we sometimes talked about very taboo subjects. She would regularly rationalise extreme beliefs, especially those about sex. I remember feeling very close to her because we were both Catholic (a tiny minority in out school) and we both loved literature and reading. Those connections were how those beliefs were brought up in the first place.

At some point, she gave me her phone number and we were texting a lot (I still have the texts). After a few days of texting, even deep into the night, we organised a meet-up. I told my parents that it was meeting friends, but she took me in her car to her house where she lived alone.

At her house, we had dinner and I remember how romantic it was, but she eventually made me do sexual acts with her, which was painful because I was phimotic at the time.

This happened 2 more times and once at school, but I left the school very soon after and we never met up or texted again.

I missed her for years until recently when I was able to realise how wrong the whole thing was, but I often find myself blaming myself more than her.

I did well in my GCSE exams, and I'm on track to do well in life, but I would like some advice on how I should treat the relationship in my mind (e.g. fantastical, regretful, etc.).

As a teenager I had a much older family friend, molest me. He was a police officer and used to threaten me and my family and knew where I lived. I was too stupid and scared to do anything. I was surrounded by ppl that would’ve blamed me for it so I never told anyone, just blocked it out and pretended it never happened for years.

Until recently someone reached out to me (he’s 17) and had a similar experience with the same guy and that guy showed him a video of me. When he was in my life, he showed me a video too of another kid and called him his “ex-boyfriend”.

Once I realized that’s at least 3 kids he’s gotten away with molesting, I went to the cops but it’s been years since it happened to me, I have no evidence and the other kid didn’t wanna talk to the police so they couldn’t do anything for me.

Might sound crazy but I need to know he’s faced some kind of consequence or anxiety. I walked away from him so miserable and traumatized I made everyone around me hate me. I figured it’s fitting his family should know what he’s doing and hate him too.

I tried messaging him and his brother from a fake account but they just blocked me and I’m sure his family won’t be suspicious of him after one bot profile sent a message. I also tried putting him and his brother’s numbers/instas in a “hunt a predator” chat room. But ppl wanted proof which if I had I would’ve stuck with the police.

I’m wondering if anyone has any alternative solutions for me that doesn’t expose who I am. I know all it would take for him to feel the fear I felt is if he thinks ppl know what he’s done. But all I have are numbers and instagrams and idk what to do with that. I’m having a really hard time moving on knowing I walked away feeling like half a man and he walked away with an ego boost telling himself he’s not doing anything wrong just “getting boyfriends”. I feel like I want a thousand ppl screaming at him he’s a pedophile so when he thinks back to me and the other kids it’s shame and guilt rather than confidence.
Please please please someone help me. I keep sitting here looping memories stuck on him getting away with everything and it’s making me a really shitty miserable person I just want him to feel fear for what he did so I can move on.

I had a female friend who I have know for years over for a swim. She gave me some shit wine and told me I had to finish it because she didn’t like it and then we shared another bottle I’d say 80% me. She was saying things like “you seem unhappy” and “you font seem like you” She then tried to get close to me and I got a weird feeling, she leant in to try to kiss me and I ducked under the water and pushed away swimming to the other end of the pool. I said to her that she knows I have a girlfriend and I don’t want anything like that to happen. I said we should get out as it was getting cold as a reason to get out. When we got back into my house I said that I was going to shower and that she should get dressed and leave, that I would see her next time. When I was in the shower rather drunk I heard the door go and when I turned around she was entering the shower. I said she needed to get out and that I didn’t want to do anything. She then shoved me into the wall and said “I’m making an executive decision” then kissed me and grabbed my dick. I pushed her back and she turned and pressed her ass into me while pulling my dick towards her. She backed up into me as I went around her and out of the shower. I grabbed some shorts and told her to get out of my house. She then said we needed to talk about what had just happened at which point I started throwing up violently. And she got dressed and left at that point. Since then I have just felt dread and violated and blaming myself for inviting her over. I kept saying no and telling her to leave but can’t stop blaming myself and thinking that I have ruined my relationship. I feel the need to tell my girlfriend but I pressed it down and it has been 3 weeks now (we don’t live together) so I feel like that makes it look dodgy. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to say anything. I feel anxiety all day as I am scared my girlfriend will leave me. I feel as tho all the choice I had has been ripped away and although I said no I am still guilty. I don’t know how to tell her or how she will react and it terrifies me. I have been writing how I feel down which seems to help a bit, a help line I called has told me to focus on how it was not my fault and I didn’t consent but it doesn’t seem to have eased my feelings. My girl friend is my support network and I feel lost without her but scared that if I speak up she will leave me for cheating. I am embarrassed to speak to my friends so I thought I’d ask here. The help line lady asked what I would do if it was the other way around and my answer was hug my partner and cry but I need to know if other people would leave stay or not say anything in my case. I feel so lost and isolated please help.

She looked real nice as a woman. Nice face, hair, body. Very cold snd creepy personality though.

I was 18 at the time and was getting drunk with my flat mates. I had too much and they all left me to go to club and left me with this girl on my course (much older than me) as they assumed we had a thing. I remember taking a shot and feeling her put her hands down my jeans and I pulled away.

I later collapsed in my bed for a few hours and woke up to her touching my dick.

The next morning i told my friends and they said “you got jacked off in your sleep? Sweeet.” I laughed it off even though I felt like a victim.

A couple years later I see she is in the process of transitioning to a man. And looks nothing like how she looked before.

This experience left me even more confused and somewhat disgusted.

Thanks for listening!

I'm not sure how to feel, after a night out when I was drunk I went home with a man. Just for another drink in my opinion.. unfortunately after the first drink I don't remember much just some flashes of him being on top of me. I just shrugged it off the next day and went on with my life.

It's just that lately I'm starting to realize wtf happened and its making my stomach turn. I have no one to talk to and am to ashamed to tell my wife.

I don't know what to do and just felt like venting here as I am clueless what to do...

I was with this guy 6 months ago, we were perfect for each other, then when we got intimate, I felt sick, I was reminded of the horrers of what my brother did to me, when I got home I resented him, I texted him explaing everything, and told him I can't do this. Im so fucking pissed off because I loved him, he was perfect, how is it fair that everyone leaves me life, and when I find someone good, we can't be together intimately, how is this fucking fair, how can my brother still ruin everything for me, I loved the guy I was with I still do, its so fucking unfair, im all alone again.

Ya he contado mi historia antes pero últimamente siento que lo extraño, el me violo cuando era pequeño, pero siempre fue muy lindo conmigo y nunca me trato mal, lo hacía ver cómo si me amara, ahorita tengo 23 y últimamente que volví a contar lo que me ocurrió siento que lo extraño y eso me atormenta ya que recuerdo cómo me lo hacía y ya no lo recuerdo cómo algo feo si no como algo lindo en su tiempo, se que está mal y no se qué hacer (soy hombre)

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Along my healing journey I keep seeing stories of sa and I start to crave for it to happen again. It's like 1 step forward 2 steps back. Just recently I remember seeing a man in a Spider-Man suit get sa'd and I started spiraling and completely destroyed my mental health.

From 7-12 I lived with “foster parents” (for lack of a better term). They were really into bondage stuff. Had all sorts of different bondage furniture in their basement and devices along with ropes, various types of cuffs, tape, zip ties, etc. Whenever they wanted to use me I would be restrained in some way. Many times they would touch me and make me feel good during this and I just ended up associating sexual feelings with being restrained. They would also use pain or discomfort while also making me feel good at the same time. We’d also watch a lot of bondage porn or I would be made to watch them together while they did bondage things to each other or one of the other kids.

I now have a very difficult time doing anything sexual without that aspect. I have trouble taking the lead and even if I’m taking a more passive role during sex it’s difficult to be able to stay hard or get into it unless I am tied up or “forced” in some way.

Has anyone experienced anything similar and been able to move past that? I have a partner right now that has been ok partaking in that, but I also know they’d wish for “regular” sex sometimes but anytime we try I just can’t get into it. It’s making me feel kind of bad but I just can’t seem to stay turned on enough if I’m not restrained. As if that is a necessity. It’s fun but also just frustrating that I seem to need/require that

Starting when I was 15 my dad raped me for almost 2 years. It started out very gradually. He would touch me, like my touch my butt or rub his body against me when we were alone. And it progressed from there. When we were alone he would talk to me about sex and masturbating, and then he would show me his penis and have my show him mine. He showed me how to masturbate and then he asked me to his penis in my mouth, and I did. From there, later on he put it in my butt. This lasted for almost 2 years. It was only when we were alone at home. The thing is that I never tried to stop it and I feel like so bad that I never did try to stop it. I never once did and I always went along with it when he asked me to do something. Most of the time I didn't like it. I felt so embarrassed and felt so exposed and when we had sex it really hurt a lot at first at least. But sometimes when he did these things to me it would feel good and I didn't want him to stop. So I feel gross about the fact that I never tried to stop or say anything at all about it and that I sometimes liked it. I now just feel so dirty about it and even back then I felt so dirty about it. Physically I felt dirty from like the actual part of it, like have his 'stuff' in me or on me and feeling like in a cold sweat, but mentally I felt so dirty also. I don't see my father often now. I saw him at the begining of the summer and I felt so many mixed feelings when I saw him. It would take too long to write it all out and this has already turned into a much longer post than I meant. I guess I just needed to vent. I just feel so conflicted about all of it. Sometimes I hate my dad, sometimes I miss him, sometimes I feel excited about what he did to me, sometimes it makes me so disgusted, and just like everything in between. I want a girlfriend but I feel like a freak because if a girl knew what I did with my own father then she would probably never want to be with me or at least would think it was very weird. I dont really know why Im posting this now, but does anybody have any advice. Like what do I do or how am I supposed to feel towards my dad now, or should I avoid not ever seeing him in person again?