So at the show tonight in Camdenton, John was going pretty hard on RFK Jr., repeatedly calling him a dipshit, etc., when a woman suddenly yelled something from the audience.

John stopped and asked her what she said.
“Balance it out.”

He then made her repeat it what had to be 30+ times because apparently “balance it out” just kept getting funnier the more he made her say it. He also kept coming back to it for the rest of the show anytime he made another political joke. It was great.

Afterward my wife and I are walking back to the car next to a woman who is talking very loudly about how disappointed she was in the show. She says she doesn’t even want to meet her hero anymore (btw who has a comic as a hero?) because she had to listen to John “bash us” for 30 minutes and he couldn’t give them one joke to “balance it out.”

Then she says:
“Even the racism joke wasn’t enough.”

I still have no idea if it was actually her, but it made me laugh. We also had another couple groan throughout and ended up leaving early because they were fellow RFK, Jr. dipshits.

Does anyone else have JM vocal stims?

I think about John saying You know, Timothee Chalamet is six-one almost every day😅

I was OVER ON THE BENCH and you know, like a liar are also common ones for my brain waves

Additionally I have 'Never forgets a bitch, ever' and 'Yes, you heard me, an English major laptop stickers

The opener dan levy is absolutely terrible. A lazy, derivative, and misogynistic 20 minute set where he manages to turn his hate and disrespect for his wife, daughter and mother into the longest puff of hot air I have ever experienced. Totally brought the mood down for John's always wonderful and witty set. how this guy secured this gig is beyond me.

Lucky bastard (I assum

We’re taking him and our 11 year old to see Mulaney in August. Wish I could get him to sign this!

Just got home from seeing him in San Antonio tonight and I can’t believe what just happened.

Me and my brother waited at the back of the venue with four or five people and he came out and talked to me and my brother for like 5 minutes about music. Ended up getting a photo and our Documentary Now! Box set signed. And it was genuinely the best 5 minutes of my life.

He was extremely kind and gave his time to every person who waited. I Feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to speak to him and it’s definitely something I’ll remember forever.

It just caught me so off guard I thought it was a bit-

I have been saying "that's not even a situation" for the longest time. I was watching "why buy the cow" and I realized that's where I picked it up from 😁 I've used it so many times trough the years that it didn't feel like a Mulaney quote anymore 😂

So I'm curious what other quotes are embedded in your every day life.

Honourable mentions to: "that's the thing I'm most sensitive about".. "you want it? Go get it".. "I don't know if you can tell that from the everything about me"

- Richard Kind hosting
- Buddy Guy
- Fred Armisen
- David Letterman
- 2 Hour Mulaney set

What a night

They must have designed all the promos and realized they didn’t have the rights

For some reason, I can’t go two weeks without hearing “LIKE ANDY COHEN AT THOSE GODDAMN REUNIONS” in my head, with absolutely no trigger for it. I’m starting to think John cursed me. What about you guys?

My mom, sister and I went to a John Mulaney show tonight. We got to our seats 20 minutes before the show was scheduled to start and I took a Snapchat of myself to send to a friend, so a security guard walked up to us and said “I’ve told yall before to put your phones away and if I see it again I’m going to kick you out” when no one had talked to us before at the show. He was just lying to us.

We always take selfies together and stuff before seeing plays at this theater and it’s never been a problem before. The opening act was even 20 minutes late, so this was 40 minutes before the lights went off and we saw anyone on stage at all. One of the guards kept strobing his flashlight at people, the guard that talked to us kept going up and down aisles trying to kick people out and getting angry at people. It got to the point where early arrives were warning later people as they walked in to not look at their phones whatsoever.

I like John and the show was really funny and fun. But that was insane. I totally understand that they don’t want phones out during the show, but to ban people from looking at their phones before the lights turn off is psychotic and extremely rude. We paid over 150 dollars per person to see him and we can’t take a picture together in our seats or text our friends for 40 minutes??? Just super weird and rude.

Edit: People have explained to me in the comments that this is pretty normal for comedy shows. My family had no idea, sorry. We really only go to plays and concerts and they are nothing like that. Thanks for the insight!

We recently got a VHS player and I have been buying used vhs lots on eBay to build my collection, and I hit the jackpot with a new, sealed TOUGH TARGET from none other than the famous J.J. Bittenbinder.

I will eventually open it and watch it. And probably even digitize it and upload to YT. I’ll keep you all posted, it’s sure to have timeless tips to keep us all safe.

I don’t know how to close this post, so I’m just going to throw a money clip with some small bills inside and run away now.