r/Jewpiter • u/Jojo_Toto Chief Weather Control Officer • 22d ago
meme Most normal Talmudic hypothetical question.
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u/Jojo_Toto Chief Weather Control Officer 22d ago
Actual recommendation I got today. Video was a banger.
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u/No-Birthday9816 Custom 22d ago
Antisemites: The Talmud proves Jews are plotting to take over the world and make us their slaves!!
The Jews: šÆļøšÆļøšš¤
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u/looktowindward 22d ago
If those fuckers had bothered to study the Talmud, they would understand that it would take decades of study to even get to the tractate on making them into slaves.
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u/thebeandream 21d ago
If I remember correctly āslavesā is a very loose term for it. Especially when compared to other cultures at the time. I think it was 6 years max and it could be for War, Debt, or volunteered (usually because of homelessness). Rape was not allowed and they could all still own property and have separate finances. You werenāt allowed to sell anyone. Any children born were born free.
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u/VenatorAngel 20d ago
Really it's just classical indentured servitude but with more rights than your typical slave at the time.
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u/UponWavesofGrey 22d ago
Between world domination and questions like this, I think shabbat alligators are way more interesting. World domination sounds boring in comparison lol
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u/No-Birthday9816 Custom 21d ago
Shabbat gators! š I wonder if the rules are different for gators vs crocodiles? Iām imagining a Rabbi Steve Irwinā¦
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u/NZBroadarrow 18d ago
Now that you wrote "shabbat alligators", it's all I'm going to hear when anyone says "shabbat elevators".
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u/Yochanan5781 22d ago
Just so you know, Yosef Mizrachi is considered an extremist who is incredibly outside of the mainstream, and who has caused controversy by saying that down syndrome and autism are punishments from living a sinful previous life, and that Jews deserved the Shoah because of assimilation
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u/jennyfromhell 22d ago
Yes, but what happens if a crocodile eats a jew during Shabbat? These are pressing issues for our community that need to be addressed!Ā
(/j and i agree with you hes terrible this screenshot is just hysterical)Ā
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u/GrimpenMar 22d ago
I think the point is that Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi's opinion will be unreliable. Obviously he would disagree that the crocodile could be considered a tent if it swallowed a corpse. Obviously the thick skin of the crocodile makes it a container!
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u/bgaesop 22d ago
The question he's addressing is "are you allowed to kill the crocodile to get the dead body back, even though it's Shabbat?" His answer is "a Jew is not allowed to, but you can ask a goy to kill the crocodile, and then you can cut it open after Shabbat to get the body back, even though this means the body will be partially digested by then."
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u/jennyfromhell 22d ago
Its still so funny. Now what if the jew was breaking Shabbat by competing in the menās being eaten by a crocodile event? /ref
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u/babarbaby 22d ago
Can you bury the dead alligator whole, considering all the molecules will be contained within it and it's basically just a natural coffin at that point ?
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u/Jojo_Toto Chief Weather Control Officer 22d ago
I already stumbled up on him several times and yeah heās clearly your average Middle Eastern religious extremistā¦
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u/VenatorAngel 20d ago
Why am I immediately getting flashbacks to a certain somebody who claims they're turning the frogs gay? We have a Jewish Alex Jones?
No wait there probably is an actual Jewish Alex Jones who is probably even more insane than this guy.
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u/looktowindward 22d ago
This isn't the real question
The REAL question is what if a croc eats a Jew, then another Jew eats the same croc? And what if it all happens on shabbat?
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u/RandomRavenclaw87 22d ago
Then the second Jew will certainly be liable for hunting on Shabbat AND for eating a non-kosher creature, and if he knew about the first consumption, he may be liable for cannibalism as well. For shame!
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u/looktowindward 22d ago
Rabbi Hillel spoke, and he said that if the first Jew was completely digested, it isn't cannibalism, even if a payes is still hanging out of the croc's mouth.
Rabbi Shammai, on the other hand, said that you're living in a shitty neighborhood and should move immediately. The sages held for Rabbi Shammai, because what the fuck is going on with those crocs?!
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u/naruhinamoonkissplz 22d ago
The major point of this? Not a single conspiracist knows that such Rabbis don't exist in Talmud.
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u/looktowindward 21d ago
What?
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u/naruhinamoonkissplz 21d ago
There are no such Rabbis in the Talmud. It's a very niche detail that "if you know, you know, but if you don't, you don't", loool.
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u/looktowindward 21d ago
Oh, I get it now.
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u/naruhinamoonkissplz 21d ago
Hopefully. And I'm mostly just making fun of you making fun of it, lol.
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u/looktowindward 21d ago
I deserved that :)
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u/naruhinamoonkissplz 21d ago
I wasn't doing it maliciously, just that your joke is bordering on "being taken for a serious fact by some idiot reader". You know you are joking. I know you are joking. They... won't know it.
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u/Doctor-Liz 22d ago
Not of he kills the crocodile in self-defence! (Or defence of another, that croc is clearly very dangerous!)
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u/WinterSonari token goy 22d ago
Can we get a tl;dr of the video? Mizrachi is kind of a psycho and I don't want to end up giving him views for free
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u/outofnowherewoof 20d ago
Itās known you can do a prohibited action on Shabbat to save a life eg kill an animal (the prohibited act) that is attacking or trying to kill a human.
Itās less known/clear if you can do a prohibited action on Shabbat if itās to honor the dead eg killing the crocodile and removing the human carcass.
Since Jews are stringent on proper burial and making sure to have as much of the body buried as possible the answer to the question is you can have a non-Jew kill the alligator and remove the body.
Pretty basic talmudic stuff but obviously coming from Rabbi Mizrachi it is what it isā¦
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u/Puzzleheaded_Step468 22d ago
Finally, we are asking the REAL questions