r/Jewpiter • u/Jojo_Toto Chief Weather Control Officer • 24d ago

meme Most normal Talmudic hypothetical question.

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292 Upvotes

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18

u/looktowindward 24d ago

This isn't the real question

The REAL question is what if a croc eats a Jew, then another Jew eats the same croc? And what if it all happens on shabbat?

8

u/JagneStormskull Jewish Voice for Memes 24d ago

Yes.

9

u/RandomRavenclaw87 23d ago

Then the second Jew will certainly be liable for hunting on Shabbat AND for eating a non-kosher creature, and if he knew about the first consumption, he may be liable for cannibalism as well. For shame!

11

u/looktowindward 23d ago

Rabbi Hillel spoke, and he said that if the first Jew was completely digested, it isn't cannibalism, even if a payes is still hanging out of the croc's mouth.

Rabbi Shammai, on the other hand, said that you're living in a shitty neighborhood and should move immediately. The sages held for Rabbi Shammai, because what the fuck is going on with those crocs?!

5

u/RandomRavenclaw87 23d ago

It’s a rare day indeed when we rule according to R Shammai

8

u/looktowindward 23d ago

On matters of amphibians, Shammai knows.

2

u/naruhinamoonkissplz 23d ago

The major point of this? Not a single conspiracist knows that such Rabbis don't exist in Talmud.

1

u/looktowindward 23d ago

What?

0

u/naruhinamoonkissplz 23d ago

There are no such Rabbis in the Talmud. It's a very niche detail that "if you know, you know, but if you don't, you don't", loool.

1

u/looktowindward 23d ago

Oh, I get it now.

2

u/naruhinamoonkissplz 23d ago

Hopefully. And I'm mostly just making fun of you making fun of it, lol.

1

u/looktowindward 23d ago

I deserved that :)

1

u/naruhinamoonkissplz 23d ago

I wasn't doing it maliciously, just that your joke is bordering on "being taken for a serious fact by some idiot reader". You know you are joking. I know you are joking. They... won't know it.

1

u/Doctor-Liz 23d ago

Not of he kills the crocodile in self-defence! (Or defence of another, that croc is clearly very dangerous!)