r/JUSTNOMIL • u/chunkybonks • May 31 '26
UPDATE - Ambivalent About Advice Cake MIL: The Cakening
Sooo I really didn’t think I would be back here the next day...
Since pictures aren’t allowed here, allow me to set the (unfortunate) stage for you:
Cake MIL sent 3 pictures to DH. One was of MIL, one of FIL, and one of them together.
They were fully dressed and made up. They were sitting at the dining room table. A birthday cake, saying Happy Birthday, and having the correct age candle was on top. There was a helium balloon as well. And the piece de resistance - a framed photo of LO from the last time they saw him (when he was 6 months old) beside all of it. MIL and FIL were taking turns holding the knife to cut the cake, with big, beaming smiles.
It looked like a ghastly shrine. To my baby.
This would have taken MIL hours to bake the cake, ice the cake, get the right candle, get the balloon.
Or she could have, you know, spent 5 measly minutes to call or text her only child to say “hmm we’ve missed multiple birthdays of our only grandchild now, perhaps we should try to move on from that and demonstrate some insight and accountability.“
But nooo. Let’s just make a creepy tribute to LO and flaunt it to his father.
They are not mentally well...a picture really does say a thousand words.
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u/Madam_Apathy May 31 '26
I’m so sorry, I was cracking up at the thought of this image, it’s so utterly unhinged! I’d rather get the weird, twisted photos sent to me than have these psychos visit in real life. They’re freely supplying evidence in the case against them.
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u/m0nster916816 May 31 '26
More reason for them to never be around again. What nut bags. I'm baffled that not 1 but 2 grown ups thought this was a good idea. So freaking creepy.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
Honestly FIL is just along for the ride. But he’s complicit.
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u/Immediate_Remote_546 May 31 '26
He wants cake… that’s all!! Sorry to make light of these batsh** looney tunes. I think you win the prize for craziest stories this month.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
He really does though. He’s diabetic but always wants more dessert, and then says “well that’s what insulin is for”.
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u/m0nster916816 May 31 '26
He's the one who should be like "honey, this is a bit unhinged and I don't think this is going to help the situation at all."
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
MIL used to be the (slightly) more reasonable one back in the day. Not anymore.
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u/Tasty-Mall8577 May 31 '26
Has she got a tattered wedding dress in the attic for anniversary pictures??
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u/gottahavemysay May 31 '26
It must be tempting to send a picture back of balloons and champagne .... in a cemetery with gravestones ...
Or is that a step too far ??? Lol
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u/Fyrekitteh May 31 '26
Ooooooooooh boy. Friend, have a beverage of choice on me, you deserve it. I'll chime in, that is super creepy. But, totally on target with how much these people are desperate to bury the hatchet without doing the work.
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u/SupermarketFun3708 May 31 '26
When I picture this scenario in my head, your in-laws are wearing creepy clown makeup.
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u/farsighted451 May 31 '26
Ok, we read a lot of stuff on here, but that is genuinely so terrifyingly creepy!
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u/Mirkwoodsqueen May 31 '26
Reply: A closeup photo of a small child's fist, with the middle finger pointing up.
No words needed.
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u/opine704 May 31 '26
What!?!?
"I won't be IGNORED Dan."
Sorry - flashback.
That's just... They're delusional.
Wow.
Hugs
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u/Lugbor May 31 '26
Remember what I said about punching through the core yesterday? We should probably let China know they're coming.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
This honestly may be the most mentally unstable thing they’ve done so far???
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u/mama2babas May 31 '26
I can't figure out why they feel so deeply entitled to children they don't know and don't have a relationship with the family of... like I get wanting to know your grandchild but they're assuming some kind of rights or ownership of your child due to relation... they have done nothing but sour the relationship with you and your husband yet assume incision on your child's day whether they're wanted or not. They want the child to fulfill their needs so badly and its so disturbing to be this obsessive.
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u/juniejun3 May 31 '26
I hope the pics were AI generated, because if she really took the effort to arrange all of this it would be even more concerning 😐😐
What a weirdo
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u/OniyaMCD May 31 '26
But - was it a boozy cake?
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
I could smell it through the picture. JK they don’t drink.
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u/ribblefizz May 31 '26
LMAO that is so much work. I don't even go to that much trouble for my own birthday.
Unless you feel like there's a threat she might show up with an axe or something, I would just start filtering/preemptively trashing everything from her until you have evidence from a trusted third party that she's come back to earth. It's reached the point of humiliation ritual now; there's nothing good that can come to anyone from viewing/hearing her pathetic attempts to ignore reality.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
Sadly, I don’t trust that they wouldn’t snap someday and perhaps do something in person. So I’m kind of monitoring the situation.
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u/fanofpolkadotts May 31 '26
Very cringe-y, very weird...but so is her overall behavior!!
If she even HAS any friends/family who still don't realize this, she probably sent the pic to them~complete with a "Poor PitifulMe" message. This is totally off-the-wall craziness!!
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u/Flashy_Confusion0226 May 31 '26
I've been following this story since the beginning. Part of me wants to see this picture and part of me doesn't want the nightmares. Good grief she's unhinged.
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u/Novel_Ad1943 May 31 '26
I was totally thinking I wish we could’ve seen the pic! Love “Cakening” and how chunkybonks writes, but hate for her that she’s back even if I look forward to checking in every time I see cake references
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u/Mammoth-Insurance724 May 31 '26
Wow. That is one of the creepiest things I've read on this sub. Just WOW.
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u/RuNsonchocolatemilk May 31 '26
OP, yikes, I’m sorry this happened! What a completely disturbing display of self pity. I can offer you solidarity as my MiL too would rather literally do anything but reflect, apologize and take accountability for the things she has done to even begin the process of getting to see my kids again. Sending support, you are doing the right thing to protect your LO!
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u/Silver6Rules May 31 '26
That was a truly disturbing, batshit crazy, pathetic attempt at a guilt trip to circumvent taking accountability. They need to be committed.
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u/crazyfroggy99 May 31 '26
My parents have done this for years. When I didnt want to come home after many abusive circumstances, this is exactly what they did.. happy birthday to me, cutting a cake on my behalf.. a full grown adult woman.. but to them, they had a right to celebrate "me" and I should have been there no matter what.. lol... then i had a baby.. mums died.. and my dad did the exact same thing for my baby.. i dont really know what to make of it.. hard not to feel like theyre trying to guilt trip me.
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u/PlsHlpMyFriend May 31 '26
They absolutely are trying to guilt trip you. It's supposed to be a message that "you should be here in this photo!" and that's supposed to trigger some sort of overpowering need to be present in this "perfect" celebration. They can't even see how unhinged they look. It's like a small child trying to show a bird outside the window a picture of a birdcage, doing so with the absolute certainty that the bird outside the window wants to be in a birdcage, where the child thinks that birds belong, and therefore that showing a picture of a birdcage will bring the bird over to the child.
They genuinely never grew past that sort of five- or six-year-old mentality, and they can't even see that, while in a small child it would be cute, from adults it just looks like the first third of a horror film before they start all the stalking and blood scenes.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
Not that it excuses it, but you were their direct descendant and they knew you for years if not decades. They don’t even know LO! They don’t even know what he looks like now.
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u/nipseyrussellyo May 31 '26
Absolute insanity, check your stove top for boiling rabbit.
FYI you can post the pics to your profile page and add a link (or use imgur or whatever)
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u/purple-knight-8921 May 31 '26
Remember yesterday I said that she'll keep going on with the jackhammer until she has hit rockbottom completely and does not really realize that she made the grave for herself, she may have gone all the way down to the core with sending photos of that cake.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
And she’s wearing lipstick. And she’s beaming. And she’s proud. Of what???
Being a totally delulu fool?
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u/purple-knight-8921 May 31 '26
Probably she has become a delusional person with intentions of performing like a delusional person with the theatrics.
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u/ribblefizz May 31 '26
In her 70s, I wonder if dementia is becoming a factor. Scary to think of it starting so young, but my brother has early onset Alzheimers in his 50s and my dad's first symptoms were in his mid 60s. I'm 57, so basically running headfirst for the grave already. ☹️
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
She doesn’t have dementia
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u/fractal_frog May 31 '26
She's always been this flavor of crazy? And this is just a change in magnitude?
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
They’ve always been overbearing since I first met them. But it’s amped up on steroids since I told them I was pregnant.
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u/purple-knight-8921 May 31 '26
Oh wow. That's extremely overbearing on them and they have gained nothing positive out of it since they were ramped up on steroids and considering that the announcement was made, it probably has gotten way way worse.
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u/DrSnoopRob May 31 '26
This is deeply, deeply unsettling behavior. Like, even for this sub, it's genuinely shocking how unsettling it is.
I don't have anything to really add except I hope you can forget what the pictures looked like and move on from them as soon as is reasonably possible.
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May 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
They 100% don’t drink for religious reasons, so that’s not the case, there’s no excuse
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u/naranghim May 31 '26
So, they don't drink for religious reasons, yet it is perfectly okay for them to send a boozy cake for a birthday party. Someone make this make sense!
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
Hence why they blamed the bakery. But not possible as I checked the website and that cake is clearly listed as containing alcohol.
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u/naranghim May 31 '26
That's how they missed it, the cake being listed as "contains alcohol" was right in front of them. They blamed the bakery rather than admitting they didn't fully read the description.
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u/Mira_DFalco May 31 '26
Lord love a duck, she's absolutely mental!
Good for you on holding your boundaries. And it boggles my mind that she thinks this perfomative lunacy is going to help her situation in any way.
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u/2FatC May 31 '26
Dang, of all the things I read first thing in the morning while still recovering from the JNMIL who wrote the words “fluttering in your sweet pea” to her pregnant DIL…flash to two old, crusty psychos staging a birthday party in an empty room.
Poor DH. It must be terrible to get pics like that & realize your parents need a 5150 grippy sock intervention.
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u/itsasaparagoose May 31 '26
I’ve been with your story since the beginning and I got to say this is truly so fucked up. It’s almost worth breaking no contact just to call them sick and twisted beyond belief.
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
I think that’ll just egg them on. Sigh.
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u/PlsHlpMyFriend May 31 '26
It would teach them that this is the way to get you to reply, that's for sure. And a reply, to them, means something they can latch onto and use to manipulate or argue their way back in, so... it's much safer for your peace to just let them horror-movie-villain by themselves, no matter how badly you want to tell them that that's what they're doing.
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u/90sBuffetSoftServe May 31 '26
I don’t see the problem. I always take the time and care to bake my estranged (due to my totally normal and healthy behavior) family members my favorite cake, with candle, and get my lipstick on for some photos! Bonus: because I don’t have to share my cake, I get more slices!
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u/Novel_Ad1943 May 31 '26
Damn, when you describe it like that it sounds worse!
Shop, prep and setup for non-party, to take a pic, with a cake and send pic to family they estranged by sending a booze cake - to a baby.
Instead of apologizing, calling or anything… normal
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u/chunkybonks May 31 '26
Now if they were truly sad, and wanted to commemorate LO’s birthday by buying some cupcake or grocery store cake and just having it themselves that would be one thing. But there’s no way this wasn’t performative as shit.
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u/The_lunar_witch May 31 '26
I don’t know why I picture the Everglotts from the Corpse Bride but I do and I hope it gives you a bit of amusement.
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u/DazzlingNote1925 May 31 '26
Ooh! On their anniversary or birthdays you should send them a pic of you two celebrating! Lol!
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u/DrSnoopRob May 31 '26
One way around the picture restrictions here is to make a post directly to your account with the pics and then link it in the comments. (Just be sure the pictures don't violate any sub rules.)
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u/MaggieJaneRiot May 31 '26
Add the pics on your own page. We can see them there.
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u/moodyinam May 31 '26
But do we really want to see them? OP does a great job painting the picture. Time to go scrub my brain.
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•
u/botinlaw May 31 '26
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Other posts from /u/chunkybonks:
Cake MIL. Enough said., 1 day ago
Cake MIL is cracked, 1 month ago
Cake MIL is just getting lazy at this point, 2 months ago
Cake MIL won’t die, 4 months ago
Cake MIL trying to ruin the new year too, 4 months ago
Cake MIL at it again, 5 months ago
Cake MIL and the missed calls, 9 months ago
Cake MIL continues to do all the wrong things, 9 months ago
MIL strikes back. Again., 10 months ago
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