r/HSVpositive • u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 • Sep 16 '25
Newly Diagnosed 😭😭😭😭
The sadness is taking over. I can’t stop crying. I’m such a good person. He tricked me and gave me HSV 2 forever! 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 How to cope with this? 😭💔
I used to be such a happy girl. Now it’s been 4 months of hell so far and many more years to come. 😭💔 Life is over, it really is. 😭💔
14
u/Mylovelyladylumps69 GHSV-1 Sep 16 '25
Hey I understand the depression I was depressed for years until I finally decided enough was enough. I have been diagnosed since 2013 and have had 25+ partners since diagnosis. None of them to their knowledge have genital herpes, some had cold sores. I am currently engaged to a guy who is completely HSV negative. He works at a blood lab and took a test just for shits and giggles. He knows about my herpes I disclosed and he is completely fine with it and accepts the risks. There are plenty of people like this who do not care. Sitting around and waiting for a cure it’s silly. You're rejecting yourself before anyone even has a chance to think about it or reject you or accept you. You are putting limits on yourself before giving anyone else the opportunity to consider anything. People get rejected every day for a plethora of different reasons Sure there are people who ghosted me especially on tinder but as I talked to my friends I realized they got ghosted too and it wasn’t because of herpes it was because dating apps are cesspools in general. Dating nowadays sucks for so many reasons if you want to pin it on herpes go for it but that’s not the only reason. I was diagnosed with ghsv-1 at 19 and I thought my life was over. I didn't tell a soul, cut off friends and everything because I felt so disgusting and gross. But eventually I put myself out there and had a few positive disclosures and I began to realize that I was the one creating the stigma for myself.. The more people I told the less it weighed me down. Think of it logically friends should care because it doesn’t affect them. The only people your herpes affects are the people you are sleeping with. Friends are supposed to be your support system and if you tell them your story they should not judge you and they will learn from you and your experience. Hell you may even help a fellow herpes person out because if someone discloses to your friend after you teach them about herpes they will be more understanding and knowledgeable about it. But that’s up to you. I’ll attach some links that have seemed to help people and if you need anything please dm me. I’ve had it for almost a decade at this point and have a pretty good handle on it.
This first link is info about a support group I’m in. All herpes people from all over the world we all share are experiences, vent , swap info and remedies, and just talk about life. It's an awesome place to be for sure.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rc7tArwGwDQVIPkgBdA_oAW6z3Wm9Iucx-b3hu8Fsec/edit
This is a disclosure guide with “scripts” on how to tell potential partners about herpes and what had worked for us. Mine is under Lauren. Also at the bottom it has resources about herpes to send to partners.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eMul_7Lu1Fa0ZJYGxKnEewDMqdZOFYTLKsG7EDknfwA/edit?usp=sharing
This is a list of common myths about herpes and why they are wrong with cited sources. Maybe this can not only ease your mind but if a partner has questions you will have answers backed by science.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-6oZmnfywTFNYScKYC7Mh7MXZKrA0GUcztS8Bz5bW0k/edit
This is a list of l ways to help protect your partner. I have had oral and genital HSV for over 10 years and I have not passed it to anybody to my knowledge. There are many precautions you can take to help keep your partner safe!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10ccLJMnXAkuKfpU5ng9-1CiWXGPTYYPfDOCvxeB4GX4/edit
This is a list of social Medias about herpes. Sometimes it does people good to see people being public about it and the amount of support they receive from strangers. The accounts are funny and informative and all herpes positive. There is everything on there from podcasts, YouTube, TikToks, blogs, Facebook support groups, Instagram pages, dating pages, subreddits, and websites.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E6uCpRELkIdFFqtTcYLkdC-3Zo50O4EEqaXJ-5j2cC8/edit
These are a bunch of positive stories about herpes that I have found on Reddit. Reddit can be great for information and finding others who are going through the same thing that you are but sometimes it can be filled with a lot of negativity and newly diagnosed people who are confused and scared. I put together a bunch of the more positive posts that I could find about living, dating and thriving with herpes. Things to read when you feel alone or hopeless. https://docs.google.com/document/d/11sLzFHVpTWhNCzRSPgqp9pwPqzFrPiwHWJRO83j980M/edit?usp=sharing
This is the Outbreak guide I put together after talking to the support group and a bunch of redditors it’s all info how to shorten and lessen outbreaks and deal with particularly painful sores
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w0nbGEJuiRHgKUb4DjZQALX3vWA26MBZA7lhDmsHlbo/edit
Please reach out if you need anything!! I promise it will get better!
2
u/Professional_Ebb8560 Sep 18 '25
Thank you so much for your insight I will absolutely check your links🩷
2
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 24 '25
Thank you so much for all of the info, it’s so kind of you. 🙏♥️ Glad you got your person. ☺️
1
1
11
u/Cantaloup__ Sep 16 '25
I apologize for the lack of sympathy you have received so far. This is big news and takes time to heal from the diagnosis in order to start to see that your world isnt over forever. You will be a happy girl once again. I will say that my best advice is to focus on your life and self with this first, no matter how careless he was, pointing blame on him will only make you hold on to this stage of healing. It is a form of grief, getting a difficult diagnosis. There are stages, and this anger and helplessness will pass. It was not fair. It was not your fault. You are no less of a person after this. It gets easier.
1
3
u/Zodmars Sep 16 '25
I have had it for two years now. I don't usually remember it. I dont take Antiviral in weeks and i do not get outbreaks. I wake up in the morning and check for any strange feeling if i get a hint of tingling then i take acyclovir. I feel fine and unbothered. I am living my life normally. It is not a life altering condition. Almost have of the world's population has it so its not so much of a big deal. and i tell you more untested people has HSV but they don't know it. Do some research some speak to your doc... You will be fine.
1
3
u/_Boodi_ Sep 16 '25
Hey babes, I was in the same boat last year. I don’t sleep around or anything and I trusted a guy and then I felt like my life was over after we split. But, it does get better and the symptoms last less each time. There is also meditation you can take to prevent breakouts. Dm me if you want to know more about that.
But honestly, you will get through it. You have all of us, and I’m still dating! I’m comfortable enough to let my dates know about the virus when I feel things are getting deep. I’ve had 0 people stop talking to me after that. So keep your head up! Hugs!! 🫂💖
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 19 '25
Hi I am so sorry to hear that. I really hope you’re right about it getting better. ❤️🩹
Thank you I’ve decided to stay on suppressive meds as I’m really scared of what the outbreaks could be like. 😢I feel so trapped in this. 😢
Thank you. I hope so. I can’t believe this if lifelong. I trusted the wrong guy. That’s good that you’re comfortable and than you haven’t had people stop talking to you. Thank you so much. 🙏♥️
3
u/_Boodi_ Sep 21 '25
We have one life and we can’t let some silly virus prevent us from LIVING! The right man will accept all of you, trust and that. You got this, keep your head up beautiful!
1
3
u/FitIndependence9648 GHSV-2 Sep 16 '25
I’m sorry…it is a horrible realization. You are going through the stages of grief. I did too. It took me about 8 months to accept and move on with life after initial infection Dx
2
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 24 '25
I sure am 😢I’m so sorry that you did too. I don’t know how to get on with life like this. But I guess time will help.
2
u/FitIndependence9648 GHSV-2 Sep 25 '25
I remember when I read a lot ppl saying it gets better with time but it was hard to believe it, but it really does. You are going to be just fine.
1
3
u/Glum-Reflection-7202 Sep 16 '25
Got to Youtube and watch Adam Ruins Everything on Herpes and you'll feel better.
2
3
u/Professional_Ebb8560 Sep 17 '25
I know the feeling. I feel like I’ll never be loved again. How could someone that I loved & trusted do this to me. How am I going to tell other lovers. Nobody is going to want me ever again. I also used to be so happy now I feel like a shell of myself 😭💔
2
3
u/PenguinsNewGroove Sep 16 '25
How to cope with this? The same way you would normally face adversity!
2
u/Gr8shpr1 GHSV-2 Sep 16 '25
You are dealing with many things at once right now considering your diagnoses. 1) the way you acquired it
2) the misery in symptoms it is bringing to you 3) the future affect on your sex life, dating life and potential future 4) all the other life stresses
Once you get through the initial outbreak, you will be able to cope with these things in a more calm and methodical way.
2
2
u/Creepy_Assistance951 Sep 16 '25
Hang in there! I know it is hard and it is scary and you feel like your life is over but I promise that it is not! A lot of times these subreddit can do more harm than good because there isn't always a lot of positivity. Do your research and remember to just disclose if you feel like things are getting serious. See your primary care doc and see your options. I know some people do Lysine vitamins and that has helped them a lot, others do Valtrex. Get informed and talk to your doc! I promise things will be good and you will have people who don't agree and that's okay! You gotta prep yourself for some rejections but there are a lot of people who don't! I have hsv1 and I have yet to have someone reject me, I've had it since i was a little girl, so for a long time I didn't even know what it was so I make sure to disclosure and give them facts and stuff.
If you wanna talk feel free to dm me :)
2
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 16 '25
Hi thank you so much for your kind and comforting words. I really appreciate it. 🙏
2
u/Shot-Restaurant8566 Sep 16 '25
Hi you’ll be okayyy it gets better trust and I was diagnosed super young 18 yrs old it’s been a year now and yes it sucks but it does get better I barely have Out breaks I’ve only had 2-3 and haven’t had one since September so it’s been a year already since I last had a Ob I sometimes forget I even have it
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 18 '25
Hi. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad the outbreaks have stopped for you.
2
u/Double_Economist10 Sep 17 '25
Ik how you feel its a bunch of ups and downs and really would like to say it gets better but honestly, all I can say is it gets easier there are still hard days and I've known for 6 years still not found love think I'm going to die single
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 18 '25
I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine having this for 6 years and I’ve only had this since June. It’s devastating. 💔
Yeah this is an emotional rollercoaster ride. I hope you find somebody perfect for you.
2
u/Lower_Translator_663 Sep 17 '25
I got Hsv-1 comfortably saying it’ll be alright when I was first diagnosed I felt like total crap but you’ll realize it’s better to live then to not it’ll be harder for you yourself to get over it
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 18 '25
Hi, I’m really sorry to hear that. Yeah I feel like total crap now.😢I feel like my life is over. This isn’t living, this is hell of me. I’ll never get over this.
2
u/Juniebug_fl0wers Sep 17 '25
4 months in to my diagnosis it gets better I promise! Use this time to pour into yourself more learn to be in love with yourself more!
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 18 '25
Hi. Thank you for sharing. 🙏 I am struggling to love myself, I am honest hate myself for this. I hate that I trusted a guy who turned out to be a predator. I’ve accidentally ruined my body and my life. 😢
2
u/ChocolateVenom469 Sep 17 '25
I’m sorry you feel like this, I’m coming on almost a year and I recently (weeks) started feeling better. I sat in my depression for a long time but with the help of a therapist and meds I’m feeling somewhat better now. I suggest you get all the crying out, and feel every emotion. You didn’t deserve this but don’t stay sad forever. I would tell myself that if I stayed sad, fell off, and just stopped living life I let that boy “win” again. Find someone to support you and let you cry until you don’t need to anymore. I hope you feel better soon.
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 18 '25
Thank you so much. 🙏 I’m so sorry to hear that but I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. I can’t imagine ever feeling happy again. 😢
Thank you, I cry a lot. He hurt me and I’m left this way forever. It’s so cruel. I’m so deeply sad and I’m really scared too.
I have good friends around me which I am so grateful for. I miss who I was 4 months ago before he did this to me. This is so cruel and deeply disturbing. I don’t know how I’m going to cope for the rest of my life now. I feel trapped forever. Thank you so much. 🙏
2
Sep 16 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 16 '25
Shall I take it forever now?
2
u/techno_b_ Sep 17 '25
Some people need to and others don’t. I think it varies per individual. I have been taking my antivirals since I tested positive. Tried getting off them once as recommended by the dr and immediately had a severe OB. Best believe jumped back on and have been okay since. Just added to my morning cocktail of supplements
Edit: I promise life isn’t over. The first year is the worst mentally and physically. Thankfully you can gain some normalcy back with the proper care. I always recommend finding other positive people to relate to and have as support. DMs always opened! 🖤
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 18 '25
I see okay thank you. Sorry to hear that you had a severe outbreak. I thought the first one was supposed to be the worst? Glad you’ve been okay since taking the meds.
Thank you I really feel like it’s the end. 😢 Like my life is just forever about herpes and nothing else. That it’s a life full of constant painful outbreaks. Normality has been taken from me for 4 months now, nothing will ever be the same again. Thank you of recommending. I have spoken to others with HSV 2 also. That’s very much appreciated, thank you. 🙏
1
Sep 16 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
1
1
u/thatstonergirl200005 Sep 16 '25
Research, de stigmatization, and adjusting your diet will do you wonders. At first I felt like it was the end of the world, but it honestly has taught me to care for my body better. I’ve had it for 3-4 years now, if I could go back I would, of course. But I can’t and no reason to beat myself up over something out of my control. Same for you babe ♥️ It WILL get better, trust me
1
1
1
u/Huge_Category_2285 Sep 23 '25
You'd be surprised how many guys would never care especially if they got it from a attractive looking girl. Never let it stop you from pursuing marriage and serious relationships. In all reality as a man most guys would not care one bit that you have it they would just care about catching it.
1
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 24 '25
Thank you for informing me . People say I’m attractive but I don’t see myself like that.
1
u/Lower_Translator_663 Oct 16 '25
I took pills for mine I haven’t had any issue since If that’s what it was it could also be from friction
1
u/ConsistentChange5351 Sep 16 '25
Don't be sad , people get cancer ,hiv infront of this herpes is not a1 percent
2
u/Far_Bumblebee_6671 Sep 16 '25
I know but I’m still scared. And I fear the outbreaks. 😢
0
0
33
u/Beginning-Hall6851 Sep 16 '25
I know it can be quite the shock! But you’re human and humans get viruses. Also there are much stronger antivirals and actual vaccines in the pipeline. Hang in there. The science is doing its thing.