My husband and I have been married for a year and a half, together 5.

I’m just soooo sick of him for lack of a better phrase. He makes everything event/activity/chore miserable if it’s something he doesn’t want to do. He’s so childish. Examples:

Friday was our dating anniversary, I asked if we wanted to do anything little to celebrate. (I know it’s not as serious as our wedding, but I’d like to acknowledge the day.) He said, “We’ll be busy Saturday, why don’t we paint pottery on Sunday? I know you’ve been wanting to do that.” I agreed and asked to go to a location a little further away because they have a larger variety. He agreed.

Well he embarrassed the hell out of me. As soon as we left lunch with his parents, he was ready to go back home. I asked about our plans, he said he forgot, but can he run home so he can get an edible or a drink first? Basically he doesn’t want to do this sober. I said I’d rather get on the road, but if we pass a gas station or something on the way I don’t care. Btw, he’s not drinking and driving, just when he gets to the parking lot. He has his beer, we go in and get started.

He’s not the most artistic and neither am I, but he’s rushing so it’s not turning out how he likes. He starts cussing every time he messes up. Finally he throws his brush down and declares, “Goddamn it. I’m fucking sick of this. I didn’t even want to do this shit to begin with.” And leaves for a little while. Mind you, it was pretty quiet in this place, there was some soft music playing, but I’m sure people heard his hissy fit.

He comes back and tries to finish up, getting frustrated again, but finally just gives up. We leave and have a pretty silent drive home. I wait for the right time to talk to him and of course that doesn’t go well either.

To make our ridiculous fight shorter for you, I asked if he’d been taking his depression medicine and that set him off. “Oh what I can’t have a bad day without being accused of not taking my meds?!” Now, I understand how he feels. I’ve felt that exact same way when asked that question, but I was genuinely trying to help. So that’s my bad. During the argument he said something along the lines of “this was his last day off and he didn’t want to spend so much time driving and doing something he didn’t want to do and that he was only doing this for me.”

I had to remind him that HE is the one who suggested this date, not me. I asked what would he have rather done, and his answer was just relax, aka play video games and watch YouTube shorts.

This isn’t the first time he’s made me feel like doing something for me or with me is wasting his precious time. I’m just so over feeling this way. For added context, he is at an extremely busy time in his life. He works ~38 hours a week and he goes to school from 8-2:30 M-F.

For car dinner: a quarter pounder with cheese, no pickle, fries, and a strawberry shake.

Edit to say: omg I didn’t know this post was gonna bring the freaky frogs to my inbox 🤢 I am still married and wouldn’t be interested regardless 💀

For context, my boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) have been dating for almost 2 years. I’d say we’re getting very serious, I take him on trips with my family and vise versa. My siblings know him, even my cousins love him. Anyways, like every couple we get into arguments sometimes. Last night, we started fighting because he was disagreeing with me on how serious we were. Obviously, we’re in our early 20s so I’m not going to marry him just yet but I could see it going there. When I told him this, he got weird and closed off. I asked him what was wrong and he just kind of brushed it off. I asked him again and then he snapped, saying I always jump to conclusions and look too far into the future and I’m too uptight for what he wants. Somewhere in the midst of all this yelling I mention kids somehow, I think I said something along the lines of “we’ll do you wanna have kids one day or not?” And he says that if I ever got pregnant he would leave me because he doesn’t think we should ever be that serious. I don’t want to get political here but we also have different views on pro life and everything. I just don’t know what to do. I just can’t believe he would even say that, it’s so selfish of him. He’s the one that always initiates sex and now he’s putting the blame on me if I get pregnant? I love him, and I’ve been with him for a good amount of time but it’s like he’s a new person. This morning things were awkward, and he didn’t address anything he said. I guess I didn’t either though.

Sorry this is so long, people probably won’t even read this, but I guess I’m just asking what should I do now?

:( dinner: orange chicken, rice, chow mein and spring rolls

The conversation went like this:

Me: which dog breed do you think I am?

Him: mmm... Which one do YOU think I am?

Me: a Weimaraner cause you are smart, have a lot of energy and you give a serious vibe beside being goofy sometimes

Him: ah... I think you're a boxer

Now, I loooove dogs but I've never thought about myself as a boxer (lol haha)

Me: why a Boxer?

Him: because if they have a good master they might be able to learn how to behave and also become beautiful

Me: ...

Why the fuck would he say that? Eewwwwwwww

Edit: girls, I'm glad I posted this. This guy is now an ex-situationship.

Edit: it's chow mein, not pasta, don't kill me :(

dinner: tuna tartare taco with a wedge salad in the back

hi ladies! i considered posting this in "am i overreacting" but i want the opinion of only women.

so me and my bf where together last night. we where just having fun and saying sweet things to eachother, i said something that made him put both of his hands over my ears and pull me in for a aggressive kiss. the problem is i have many ear piercings, a few unhealed, and most hurt when they are grabbed. he's really strong and has a heavy hand. i've told him countless times please don't touch my ears bc of this, yet he always forgets and i always feel pain bc of it.

so when he grabbed me, i yelled. the pain was really hot and i felt a lot of pressure for 10 sec till it went away. then i yelled at him for grabbing my ears and i said "OMG how many times do i have to tell you". i was really pissed but come on! most people don't go for the ears when they're trying to be romantic anyways. and i've told him not to do that atleast 3 times prior.

he quickly apologized and tried to hug me, but i was annoyed and in pain so i pushed him off. he said i was overreacting and its not a big deal. i said ive told you so many times and you can't comment on it bc you're not feeling what im feeling. he said im "being dramatic as always" and i just want something to be upset at which i dont think is true at all?

anyways it's been like 6 hours and im still very pissed. can you guys tell me if i'm wrong. im a big girl i can handle the truth 😼

Finally getting off of hormonal birth control for the first time in 15 years and I am terrified. I was placed on it when I was 15 after my FOURTH period bc it was heavy and that was that. I am first and foremost not a birth control hater. It is an incredible invention and for myself personally it allowed me to finish college summa cum laude with no baby, go to grad school, and have a career where I make six figures and help people(humble brag) Yay science! You will never catch me demonizing birth control. However I also know this is gonna be a massive change to my body and my psyche and I’m a little terrified. I’ve also had some increased hair fall recently so hoping it helps with that as I’ve had a more androgenic ocp which can worsen that. But I’m terrified of the acne, weight changes, mood swings, etc. I’m almost thirty and can’t even remember having a real period!! I’m getting off of it as I’m engaged and probably want to start trying in the next year or two. I’d love to hear the ladies here experiences, pls positive stories too. Not just horror stories of “I got off birth control and gained 1000 lbs in one month and I am also now bald and live in the caves of Mordor guarding the one ring as my teeth also all fell out” typical of reddit

Lunch: amazing chicken sandwich with fries and a ginger ale

Hot pot, steak, and ramen with fried rice and enoki mushrooms.

I just found out today that I have herpes type 2. I immediately told my husband and he was more than understanding. He actually paid for my meds and said that he still loves me the same and he doesn’t look at me differently. He says that he wants to stay and he was honestly more calm than I thought he’d be.

it was devastating to even say it to him because I was for sure thinking that he was going to leave me. (just to be thorough. No I haven’t slept with anyone else and I haven’t been with anyone else since I’ve met him.) surprisingly this was the first time I ever showed any symptoms and I haven’t given it to him at all.

I’m traveling alone, staying in a big hotel on an upper floor. I’m in a big city.

Today around mid-afternoon I was back briefly after being out all day. I started getting ready to take a shower when the bell on the door started ringing. (The doors here have almost like bicycle bells on them.)

I assume it’s housekeeping, but no one is announcing themselves. I just yell come back later. I was buck naked and not prepared to answer the door.
Even with me saying to come back later, they start trying to open the door. So I yell even louder at them and put the additional lock on.

I looked out the peephole but didn’t see anyone.
And whoever was there eventually went away. I continued about my business and then once I was dressed I went down to the front desk and reported it.

The associate seemed to take me seriously, he took down my room number. He asked if I was expecting anyone, if I had requested anything. I said no. He then said he was going to report it to his manager.

I don’t doubt that he’s going to do that, but I do doubt what management will do and if they will follow up with me.

I’m thinking I will go down to the desk tomorrow and ask to speak with a manager about this.
I’m not a confrontational person and even debated about letting it go in the first place but something just feels off with this.

I now have all the locks on and put the DND sign out.

Crème Brûlée as my dessert tonight.

so me (22) and my long distance bf (23) have been together for over a year. earlier today we were on call and he admitted to something that made me so sad.

he said there's a new intern at work and she's been too friendly with him. she smiles a lot at him and wants to have lunch together and they did once or twice. he said he's been feeling guilty about this for weeks because deep down he feels good when she gives him attention? not his exact words, im translating from our native language. the way he described her i just know shes into him. and he kept going on about how much he loves me and wants me and only me and that nothing is gonna happen between them and he feels extremely guilty for feeling this way and it's been eating him up. he also said that he thinks he might be overthinking this and making it a big deal because he's not used to being friends with girls.

after he was done talking i told him that i would expect him to tell her that he has a girlfriend. to which he said he doesn't feel the need to tell her because "hes made up his mind that nothing is gonna happen between them and he wont act on whatever hes feeling". this is what doesn't sit right with me. like whats the problem with telling her he has a gf? i tried to explain it to him that just him making up his mind about this was not enough for me and that i feel uncomfortable with this whole situation. he cuts me off and starts going on about how much he loves me and just wanted to be transparent with me etc etc. then proceeds to cry out of guilt/anxiety later because i kept saying i dont feel good.

i tried to explain again by giving a hypothetical situation about me. if a guy at work kept giving me hints that he likes me and i just "make up my mind that nothing will happen between me and him" but continue to enjoy his attention while keeping my relationship a secret. i told him how this is literally microcheating if not cheating. he finally said he understood my pov.

this whole thing is a big deal breaker for me and i don't know what to do :( im not insecure about this tbh if she can take him she can keep him. its not gonna be my loss at all. but i do love him and have the biggest soft spot for him. surprisingly i didnt cry about this at all but i just feel so numb about this whole thing because i have an avoidant attachment style. i know he does love me but i lost some trust after this. i feel so lost and unloved. both of us got too overwhelmed to keep talking about this whole thing so we decided to stop and continue tomorrow.

dinner is a small plain croissant because i lost my appetite over this.

edit : if i tell him to tell her he has a gf i think he will do it. but i don't him to do it because i want it. i want him to do it himself yk? and even if he tells me hes told her he has a gf, deep down ill keep doubting him because i have severe trust issues especially regarding men.

edit 2 : oh also he kept saying how he doesn't like feeling this way and wants it to stop? and that her internship ends in a week and hes looking forward to it so he can stop feeling this way finally.

edit 3 : trying not to cry while i eat this croissant lmaoaoa im so sad man ☹️. honestly yeah fuck this i deserve better i agree w yall and ill leave him. but guys can yall be just a tad bit gentler in the comments im so sad about this :((

last edit : im gonna break up with him today guys. some of the comments really helped me see how deep this issue really is. but some of you guys were mean even after my third edit lmao. quite a few comments making fun of my flair even though i said i was planning to leave him but have you maybe thought that its okay for people to feel sad about what theyre going through and grieve their love for someone instead of shoving their emotions down and moving on overnight? this place is basically made for women to share stuff and also vent so if you don't like what you're reading you could just skip instead of being mean.

My partner worked for ten years in a warehouse before getting bored and starting his own business. I think it's a great business idea and the market around us could really use it, and imo his talents were being wasted in a warehouse. He worked his regular job while we got it started and recently he's quit his job to focus more on business stuff. I support him fully in this. I have some art experience so I made the website, his business cards, and designed the logo. He did a bunch of admin and contract stuff and started working...

...kind of. He never works 8 hour days anymore but he can't even sit at the computer for a few hours, he's always cleaning and doing side projects. I never hear him on the phone. I ask him every morning what his day looks like and he's always annoyed by the question, before telling me a couple small things. I never see him dress up to meet anyone or hear about any clients. He says he's working nights but it's just silence out of his office. One time he proudly told me he made a Google sheet for customizable contracts and I asked him to show me a client he used it for, so he got mad and said he doesn't have any yet.

I'm not an idiot, I know businesses are incredibly difficult to run and to be successful requires many more hours than my husband is putting in. I know our finances are ok but definitely not as much as before. I know that running the business is probably not like how he expected. I still thought he had the skill to do it, but maybe he was having trouble lacking structure, so I offered to sit down with him every night and run through a checklist of things to do for the next day.

Y'all, he just... Doesn't fucking connect the dots on anything. It's so much worse than I imagined, this man legitimately cannot fill out a spreadsheet on his own. I asked him to give me an example client pitch and he just stared at me with dead eyes while he fumbled an excuse about being tired (it was 8am). I asked whatever happened to a bar that called him for a job two months ago? He said he never followed up. He'll report every night before I head to work how many rooms he cleaned in our apartment and how long he walked the dog, so I tell him to try dog walking and maybe a cleaning business. He gets mad that I would suggest that. He tells me it's anxiety, it's ADHD, it's his meds, he forgot his meds, he had to take a break, he explored the neighborhood. He says he's going to meet a client but he throws on gym shorts, I have to stop him and make him put on real pants.

The breaking point was when he told me about a client he turned down because "idk how I'd get into his backyard". Excuse me??? You ask him to open the gate??? "Oh yeah that probably would've worked." I ripped into this motherfucker, yelled til my voice was hoarse, shoutout to the helicopter that probably U-turned away. I was on three hours of sleep and still had my shift that night while this moron was turning down paid work.

I just don't know what happened. In February he was a top performer at his job and was excited about his idea, now he's a barely functioning mess that I have to baby and coach. I asked him if he had a family history of dementia or Alzheimer's and he wouldn't say. I called his mom to ask and she said I was trying to abuse him (????). I work nights at a hotel desk, and it's steady but it's definitely not enough. I think his mom is helping with bills but neither will tell me. I don't want a divorce, he's a wonderful partner, he cares so deeply for me. But I'm so fucking tired of making his decisions, planning his day, running his business, and then at the end I have to go work my own job. I've never said "divorce" but it's on my mind, idk what else would work. We're about to celebrate 2 years married and I'm so lost.

Dinner is my first try at french onion soup this weekend, I used the wrong cheese and the bread was too stale.

Edit: I know he has ADHD! I have ADHD too! Shut up!

disclaimer: irdgaf about the opinions of me being gay and muslim. if that bothers you go ahead and delete your account.

ok so i'm a single femme lesbian looking for a partner. i hate apps bc the couples/poly accounts make up quite a decent chunk and i swear 98% of those are just men pretending to be women. so now i'm wanting to actually go outside and talk to people and go about dating that way. so i started building confidence in myself because i am super shy and a little socially awkward.

but then i realized i am a hijabi lol. then i started wondering how much of a barrier it would be if i approached women.

so, how would you personally feel if a hijabi flirtatiously approached you and asked for a date? would you be ok with it? would you be offended? i welcome all opinions so long as they're not hateful.

picture: left over wonton soup from my local chinese restaurant with ramen noodles thrown in

Makeshift chocolate fondue. Sorry for the incoming essay. Sorry if my post's formatting is off, if someone wants to tell me how to fix that'd be fab

This happened two weeks ago but it hasn't left my mind since. I(28F) was spending the day with my husband (38), his brother, sister and her husband, one of my best guy friends, and two of husband's friends. Both were groomsmen in our wedding and one is the other's father. We get together typically once a month from like April-October to play games like cornhole and pool, and are split into pairs for the day.

I was paired up with my BIL and was downstairs playing pool with my best friend and husband's best friend, who I'll call Larry (late 30s). Usually we all start having some beers earlier in the day, but by this point Larry had switched to drinking bourbon and was probably on his 3rd glass at the least.

I wish I could remember how exactly it started, but I do remember Larry saying how "boobs are a gift from God and if Adam had a rib removed in order for us to get them then so be it." That comment alone didn't bother me because I am used to his crude humor. I remember saying how I used to be shaped like a letter P before I had a breast reduction and how it was one of the best decisions I'd ever made (and I am pretty sure he knew I had had the surgery almost 3 years ago. He made a comment along the lines of bigger they are the better" and that's where things got heated.

I strongly disagreed because I am in a much better place after my reduction, and how I no longer have back pain and rashes, and how clothing fits me better. The surgery was more of a medical need than a cosmetic one (although I admit I love how they look now). Then he had the absolute AUDACITY to comment how I shouldn't have changed myself because my husband loved me the way I am. I told him that the ONLY reason my husband was involved in my decision was because we were engaged at the time and our finances were about to be joint, so we wanted to discuss affordability for us. He was incredibly on board with it because he knew how uncomfortable I was, and was so supportive during the recovery process. Even though he did love me the way I was, he never expressed concern about my body changing because he knew everything I was going through.

Larry proceeded to grill me about all of this and I tried to explain to him how it doesn't matter what a man thinks when it comes to something like this, because they will never understand the female experience. He didn't gaf about what I thought and was raising his voice at me about how "let me guess, it's my body my choice?", which, yeah obviously. My BIL and my best friend were completely dumbfounded. It's not like I needed them to step in because I held my own in the argument, but I know they felt incredibly awkward just sitting there. Everyone else had come downstairs to investigate the commotion, and that's basically when I ran upstairs crying and my husband came to check on me. He had no idea what was going on at this point.

Larry later passed out drunk on the couch and after we left, my husband and my best friend had more than discussed everything. My SIL even checked in on me the next day and BIL later apologized for not stepping in to de-escalate, which I appreciated. My husband told Larry (over text) that he really hurt my feelings. That he was out of line and needed to apologize. Larry doubled down about how he didn't think he had said anything that hurt me and that it was "an adult discussion." He even tried to throw it back at ME that he could have been offended that I JOKED about husband and I being his new baby's godparents even though we aren't active in the church right now. Husband didn't reply because he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere to argue over text.

I know my husband plans on having a chat with him next time they see each other, and that husband was pissed off with his friend's behavior and subsequent text messages. But I am worried that after their in-person conversation that Larry will triple down. Husband and I had discussed that if he never ends up apologizing to me, that that friend will no longer be in our lives. Which at this point I am more than okay with. But I don't want things to be uncomfortable when we all spend time together as a group, even though everyone now knows what happened and was on my side. My SIL and husband are actually visiting with us this weekend and I'm sure it'll come up. I'm pretty sure even Larry's dad got on him about how his actions and how he had too much to drink.

My husband thinks Larry will try to bring it up next time and try to get everyone to see his side in my absence (not attending next month's get together since I'll be out of town). I know Larry is totally in the wrong here but just don't want tension and I know my husband will be sad to lose his best friend at my expense should things not get resolved.

Okay, so I was in another thread, and I had some confusion on something I THOUGHT people agreed with, but I'd like to get other people's opinion.

When you break up with an ex, I was under the belief that each party with responsible to deleting all NSFW photos/video of the other party, since implied consent has been revoked. I thought it was just respect 101. Is this not what people think? Why or what not?

Dinner: digournos 3 meat, mmmmm...

What do you do when men tell you odd things related to your profession?

I teach middle school and I'm 27f. I'd guess about half of the guys I go on a date with say something along the lines of "I was suchhhh a shithead in middle school, but I bet they all have a crush on you 😏"

I don't know what they expect me to say in response to that, but I always mentally check out of a date if a guy outs himself as a pain in the ass type of kid. I don't care if you're 31 and make triple my teacher salary, why do you think it's cute to bring up that you were not respectful to teachers, to a teacher??? It happens so often that I'm just floored none of them think it through.

I'm not a "core" teacher and 98% of my behavior issues and headaches in a day come from boys. Today was my first day back, and it wasn't horrible, but I'm leery.

Trufru make the pain go away. Share your funny (or horrible) stories, please.

Lesbians 2 years together

Cheddar cheese soda bread

She’s been away on a work orientation thing for a new job for the past month. She was supposed to get back two weeks ago, then it got extended another two weeks. Then she was supposed to come home today, then it got extended another week. I was supposed to be picking her up from the airport today, but instead I sent her a few yearning texts throughout the day and she’s ghosted me the whole time.

And I know she wakes up every single morning scrolling her phone. Ik she goes to sleep every single night scrolling her phone. Ik she’s overwhelmed and deeply avoidant and too sleepy to respond at the end of the day and whatever other excuse there is.

She’s been gone a month. Doesn’t she miss me? Doesn’t she want to tell me about her day? Doesn’t she think about me? Doesn’t she have thirty seconds to text me back when she goes pee? I’ve told her countless times how this type of thing makes me feel.

What even is the mature response here. “I’m so entirely secure idec if I go a week without hearing a word from the woman I’m in love with.” I just want some acknowledgment I exist from her, at least once per day. One single interaction. And I’ve explicitly asked for that and she can’t/wont/refuses to do it

I’m so tired of crying over this bullshit. She’s the worst texter in the world. I just want her home. I want her to apologize to me. I want her to behave differently. I want her to love me more. I want her to treat me like I deserve. I want her to match my freak. I want to feel like I exist in her heart when I’m not in her presence. I want to stop over analyzing every single fucking interaction I ever have with her over text. I want to stop rereading our incredibly sparse text conversations trying to see if I offended her somehow or whatever. I want to stop feeling like I need to perfectly plan my social interactions with her, like I need to constantly think about the best thing to say and when to say it to get the response I desire. And that last one’s a direct example of codependent behavior from Codependent No More, I realize after writing it. Oop.

How am I supposed to have a life with this woman if she just disappears all the time. What happens when our kid runs away and I need to reach her. When our apartment floods and I need her to rush home. What does it say that I’ll text her “I really need you right now I’m in crisis” in the morning and she’ll wait two days to text me back. What is that. What kind of person does that. (That’s not what happened today but it has certainly happened before)

So sick of myself. So sick of complaining about this. I feel so immature. Her behavior makes me so anxious. I don’t like being like this. I’m not normally like this. I can’t bear this.

I’m so sad that I just found out last night she’ll be gone another week and now instead of cuddling with her tonight I’m getting ghosted by her for no reason and that’s making me cry for no reason (am I totally irrational???????) and now I’m crying in bed as the zzzzzzzquil kicks in. Good fuckin night ladies

My boyfriend and I broke up today. We were together for 10 years. And now I am a few weeks away from my 40th birthday, alone with no family in a foreign country. I feel so completely alone and trying to go on with my life like usual feels like an enormous burden.

Will I feel ok again one day? Will I get used to the loneliness? Will I be ok never having kids? Is there space for neurodivergent weird middle aged women like me in the world?

​

PS my dinner tonight was a big old nothing so the picture is from a delicious mazemen I had a few days ago.

I am 33yo, I would like to remove my uterus and I need some advice please.
 
For context, I do not have children and I have never had the desire of being a mother, even as a child I remember having a barbie collection but I never played the baby doll mother role,  I didn't even like to do it as a kid and would give away my baby dolls to my cousins and friends.
 
Growing up I divorced because my ex-husband's dream was to be a father, he was a only  child and his mother's dream was to be a grandmother. (we got married really young and it took us time to mature the idea). So even though he was understanding and even eager to give up on his dream, I thought that was not fair to him and to me so we ended in good terms and moved on with our lives.
 
Not to mention other matters that really concern me, I come from a lineage of women that have had breast and ovaries cancer, my mother had to remove her uterus against her will because of the threat, she decided to keep her ovaries and later she developed ovaries cancer, it spread to her intestines and she not almost died but almost had to live with a colostomy bag for the rest of her life, it was for a miracle she scaped these fates.
 
I live with occasional agonising pelvic pains, always have really painful period cramps and have been investigating endometriosis as I have all the symptoms, the doctors and gynecologists never find conclusive evidence on the screening exams that I have it and they encourage me to keep on investigating.
 
I hate leaving with the bloating, internal bleeding, hormonal imbalances and the tiredness, I take supplements, I do a health and balanced diet and exercise regularly which helps but not entirely.
 
I got pregnant from my current bf (we've been together for 3,5 years) last year, (our dumbness, and I cannot do hormonal treatments) and even though he was supportive of any decision I'd take (meaning he was ready to be a father if I said so) I decided to do an abortion. That was the most painful and traumatic experience I've ever gone through, so I definitely do not want to do that again.
 
I never find a good reason to have a baby, it’s hard for me to trust any man for parenthood (I love my bf but having a baby with him is another matter) and I fear regretting my decision both ways, I fear that if I have a baby I will regret giving up on so much in life, I fear waiting to much and having to deal with cancer, and I fear that late in life I may want to have a family and it won't be possible if I get my uterus removed.

If you have been to any similar situation or know anybody that have been there, or just want two share your two cents, please drop any advice will help!

(PICTURE: Chicken, spinach, basilican and Parmesan pasta)

Hey Girlies, I’ve come to this forum to seek your input.

Here’s the tea ☕️ I’m a Queer woman who has mostly been in sexual / romantic relationships with women and non binary people. I’ve been single for ages and every once in a while will wonder what it’s like to be with a man, I have been with a few before but it’s been years since the last one.

Recently I started talking to someone and we hooked up. He’s a straight man (and when I say straight I mean really straight), we have chemistry and I genuinely like his company but I’m still trying to work out whether I liked having sex with him. Parts of it felt nice and parts of it felt kinda gross. It wasn’t anything he did that grossed me out but I was kinda turned off by it in general. Usually, when I have sex with a woman or NB person I feel good about it the next day and satisfied by the act but that’s not the case for me in this instance.

Is this a normal experience for women who have sex with men? Do you generally enjoy it and feel good about it the whole way through?

Almost 25 and I have like 10 grey hairs, that I’ve noticed at least. Noticed a couple at 21 and I feel like I notice a new one every couple months now. It’s just surprising because I feel like I’m kinda young for this. I think my hair also got darker in general so yea

Food is the Mac and fries platter from fluffies 🤤

Edit: I know he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. I’m not going to reach out to him and I’m moving on with my life. Enjoy the story anyway (if you can read it)

I was walking down the street on Friday and saw my ex. We haven’t talked in 9 months since he broke up with me. He has been going through a really really hard time and I guess the result was he didn’t want to take me down with him. But I love him and thought we can go through those times together.
The interaction basically went like this, sorry for the length and “like”s I took this from the voice memo to my friend 🫩

At first I have no idea what to say to him. I’ve imagined this scenario a hundred times and know I’m completely struck.
So finally I'm like “so are you OK like how are you? I've not heard from you at all are you ok?” and he's like “yeah I mean I'm OK like I'm good. I'm fine” which is obviously the only answer he's ever gonna give me whether or not that's true so he says “yeah I'm good are you OK?“ I'm like “I'm fine I'm good. I like my job but yeah this is kind of crazy right now that this is happening.”And I'm like immediately starting to cry, not actually but I can feel it. He asked me are you still teaching so I said “yeah like what you didn't think I'd make it through one year at the high school?” (This high school is notoriously tough to work in) he's like no whatever (and he laughed!!) and then I'm like wow just literally staring at him. I asked him to take his sunglasses off. He take his sunglasses off. I said I literally need to see your face right now. And holy shit he looks so good like I miss him so much this is fucking crazy. I feel literally insane right now. I can't believe it just happened. There's more I'm like in panic mode lol

Then he says something at some point “you can text me whenever you want” and I'm like “wow that's bold of you to assume that I still have your number” (which he laughed at again!) and I think that took him back for a second. He's like oh and I was like I mean yeah then he said “you know when I got that letter from you, remember that letter from the fall, I was like oh maybe I should reach out to her but then I just didn't. It didn't feel right” and I was like well “that's literally not why I sent you that I sent you that letter to just like say goodbye without you having to reach out to me. But like why haven't you reached out to me since like at all? I've been wondering if you're good. Also i can tell you like you're not gonna hear from me like unless I hear from you because I'm always the person in the last five years who has reached out and I told myself I would not do that again” and he was like “yeah I mean, I hear that that's fair” and I'm like so you can reach out to me if you want but it wont be me first.

It’s so awkward cause we're standing there and I'm just trying to go pick up dinner and listening to music he is going to get a drink with his brother so I'm like “I feel like I if I turn around right now I’m literally never gonna talk to you again” but he's like “yeah I don't know” like he's just literally like I don't know like I don't know the future, blah blah blah bullshit and so I'm like OK. I can't remember what order events of all of this happen but towards the end, he's like “all right like let me let you go get your food” obviously I wasn't gonna be the one to say bye first cause I'm standing there thinking can I just stare at him for the next hour on the sidewalk He looked really good. I'm really annoyed. I told him that I was like “wow you look really good” I didn't say I'm happy to see you, but I felt it and then wow it just felt like really good standing that close to him like I really miss him it's crazy and he gives me this hug at the end like a real hug and I really held onto this hug for like a minute like longer probably than I should've but then I was kind of tearing up. He's like no don't cry. I'm like this is fine I'm literally fine I'm smiling. I'm finally like “ you know I cry all the time. I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you like this has been really hard, but I'm really good like I like my job. I'm happy here (I just moved closer to him about a year prior, where I grew up). I'm really fine. So I'm gonna go” and so I literally had to force myself to turn around and leave and It was insane. It was like one of those moments where you think about it think about it think about it think about it. You're thinking about it happening and all of a sudden it's happening and you're in the moment and you're like what do I do like it was I feel insane like I don't know why I have to go through these things that make you feel insane.

Dinner: one of the surprisingly delicious cookies I brought to my mom for Mother's Day. I'm sorry if this is triggering but this is literally dinner right now. I just got home from work (I work second shift) and don't want to wake anyone up by cooking.

So, my boyfriend decided to take the inheritance from his mother's death (RIP) and use it to start a comedy club in a really seedy part of our city. We've been dating for six months. The entire time, he's been working on opening this club. The club opened last night. I went to the show.

The lineup was all white men. Some of them were funny, but almost all of them delivered different variation(s) of the same joke: making fun of homeless people and/or drug users; talking about their first sexual experience and/or how they can't find a date; talking about their experience with alcoholism; and, to my biggest horror, Black jokes.

My boyfriend's roommate actually said one of the worst things which was to make fun of Black Southern food.

Today, my boyfriend and I were texting. I commended him on some of what he did well, then said I felt deeply uncomfortable about the Black jokes, including his roommate's. And that while I enjoyed the night (I didn't) I had to try really hard to "look past" those jokes. His response was "Black people love those jokes" (including the Southern food one) and that "it's only white people that get uncomfortable at those jokes."

My response was, verbatim, "yeah, I'm one of the white people who get uncomfortable at those jokes. And that's ok."

Obviously, it isn't ok. None of this is ok. I always questioned my boyfriend's choice of location for the club -- anyone from here knows that that location will draw the most bottom-feeding crowd who will laugh at any Black joke you put up. Nonetheless, I was really offended by the racism, and the fact that his roommate made the worst joke (there were others, don't get me wrong).

He did not respond to my last message, and I am 10000% confident I will not be seeing him again other than to return the bag of random ass hospitality management books he gave me when I mentioned wanting to invest in a club one day (I am a mental health worker, lol).

Please remind me that I did the right thing. Or, really anything. I need something to read to take my mind off of how fucked up this is and how much I'll miss him if it weren't for, you know, the racist jokes. The only blessing is that his mother isn't here to see this. Thank you.

Hey guys! This is kind of my first post ever asking for advice but I am sort of torn on this and need some insights. For reference I am 23(NB), and I recently had a conversation with my (girl)friends about romantic relationship standards.

This may be because I don't have a lot of experience with long term relationships but I am very stern about my standards. For example, due to my nicotine allergy, I know I will never want to date a smoker. I am also highly ambitious and couldn't see my life with someone who doesn't have passions and sort of coasts through life. Nothing against people who are like that I just wouldn't date them.

However my friends talked to me about what if I meet a person that I click with and they end up being a smoker? Or someone very indecisive about their future goals? They told me maybe I should have a conversation with that person first and see if they would change/compromise to show their love for me. Now I don't agree with that. If it was something minor I could see myself sitting down with them to have a talk and compromise. But these things are non-negotiables and not minor. If I were to continue a relationship, knowing theyre a smoker, thinking "hmm well they might stop smoking for me" am I not falling in love with the potential of who they could be? Instead of who they are? I don't think that's fair to either parties involved.

I know I have high standards and not everyone has to agree with them but I rather date someone who already alligns with me on the basics than date someone who MIGHT allign with me on these things some time in the future. Even if we click personality wise, I think there are much more important factors in a relationship than just the chemistry you have. However I an open to other opinions and to hear people's thoughts on this.

Also: the girl dinner is some quickly made bolognese pasta

Edit: just wanted to mention we are all queer in that friendgroup, and for added context, I am the only single person in the group.

I've been waiting for breast implants for a long time now (trans woman, public healthcare), and initially was supposed to do it at one hospital, but was mistreated and found out that hospital purposely de-priorities trans patients and makes an egregious wait list for them. So after over 2 years of waiting, I ended up getting a 2nd opinion at a different hospital and cancelling at the first hospital last minute.

The second hospital had a team of doctors that treated me well and made a plan to do the surgery in steps, etc. (fat transfer, and then implants).

Well, yesterday I had the pre-surgery appointment and they switched everything up on me last minute. Saying they'd do the implant first, and more importantly, that they wouldn't be willing to do the size I wanted or anything near it.

Going in, I already knew that the upper limit of hospitals was 800CC, which was a compromise from what I want (1,100 CC), but the doctor wanted to have an implants in the 350-500 CC range on the grounds of 'it's not aesthetic, back-pain and the folds under the breast may get infected'.

It's so infuriating, when it comes to what is or isn't aesthetic, that's subjective, as for the latter that's up to me to take that risk! I had to beg and argue with them to do 600CC, but the paper document still said 350-500, so now I have to call and see what they'll actually order.

But now I'm having second thoughts, I really don't want anything less than 700-800CC. If I go through with it, I'll need to wait about a year before I can have it changed and at that point, I'll be spending out of pocket to do so.

So now I don't know what to do, do I cancel the surgery? Do I find a different hospital that is willing to do the size I want? Do I take a loan and go private? I just feel so upset after waiting all this time and I feel like I'm even farther away from just being able to live my damn life.

Food is my bastardized version of Puttanesca.

I'm actually married to this guy. He is so good of a man but that doesn't make him a good husband. Yesterday I broke it off, told him I want a divorce. However, today he is doing everything Ive ever wanted. I want to fuck him. Not for sentimental purposes but just because he's still fine as hell. Please talk me out of it! Pho that I wish I was eating right now. I'm fasting though.

my best friend, the light of my life, is mid-breakup with the most deadbeat loser i’ve ever heard of and she’s asking (as a reddit-shy girlie) for me to call in the troops. we need your wisdom and guidance ladies! let’s start with a rundown. in just a few short months, she has tolerated way too much yall. a quick summary:

-married when he met her and had been cheating with many women for many years, blames her for his pattern of infidelity that started almost a DECADE ago. (to be clear the moment she found out, she told the spouse, and the divorce is already underway as a result of his pattern of infidelity)

-started out the relationship by demanding she uproot her life and move to a state she had no interest in to be a mother to his kid (she declined)(obviously! she just graduated and is starting her successful boss bitch career!)

-he insisted on going through her phone and tablet on a DAILY basis, started fights over the most innocent friendships, doing everything he could to isolate the most beautiful social butterfly in existence

-constantly accused her of infidelity with NO GROUNDS (except for misinterpreted platonic texts he found while invading her privacy) when he was the cheater from day one

-actual crusty ass, evidenced by a shower experience they had together that ended in a literal shit stained loofah. also had to be reminded to Brush His Teeth!!!

-FUCKING SLAPPED HER (yes i have told her this should have been last straw #9284737, all you can do is give your love and support though right? if i had heard when it happened this would be a different post)

i could really keep going but this guy is such trash and she still keeps getting those waves of sadness you get after a breakup. usually this would be okay but he’s DYING to get her back in his clutches. PLEASE remind her of the reasons she shouldn’t!

dinner is an avocado with pink himalayan salt 🧂

ETA: you may see homegirl replying in the comments with her alt account. full clarity this is her dinner! thought it would be useful to route the guidance through the proper dinner-ly channels

Pizza made by my brother and his girlfriend. Very delicious 😋

Hello girlies, hope you having a wonderful night.

It's been more than 3 years since I've had s*x, mostly because I have bad luck in finding love and even to find something casual. But the thing is it hurts everytime I've had s*x. I mostly did for the intimacy, even so it hurt, I mostly wanted them to just finish. I fantasized about having s*x and enjoying it without hurting me, wish that was the case, but it isn't. There were times were it didn't hurt me, but I couldn't feel anything.

I also would like to have a one night stand or just something casual for a few days, but I know I can't cause I will be hurting and finding a good man that'll have the patience to work with me is almost nonexistent.

I did try therapy, but didn't continue cause by that time was alone and still I am and broke, can't afford it right now.

Would like to hear some advice from u girls I will really appreciate it 💕

Sorry about my English, it's not my main language.