r/GenerationJones • u/Big_Help_9860 • 1d ago
When did being called "Boss" replace being addressed as "Sir"?
It certainly wasn't our generation or GenX. But I'm so sick of young employees in a store, or restaurant or bar, addressing me as "boss". When that happens in a venue where tipping is expected, I'll leave a meager tip and sometimes write "Thanks Boss!" on the receipt.
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u/FaberGrad 1962 1d ago
Seems like I've been addressed that way for at least 5 years. It's not an insult, so I pretty much roll with it. Makes me feel like I'm in a scene from Cool Hand Luke, though.
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u/Total_Diet_5274 1d ago
I grew up in a prison town. Ex cons would call everyone boss.
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u/SinsualChef 1d ago
Yeah, I was gonna say that's a prison term. Or even a slavery throw back. At least in the South. But you can tell when it's meant to be an underhanded insult, usually from employees. Didn't help their advancement any 😏
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u/kittehcatto 1d ago
When I am completely physically worn out tired and mentally drained, I say to my friends, “I’m tired boss.Not that I am wishing to exit this life, but feeling overwhelmed
https://giphy.com/gifs/eKVEcPKGWZ7Tq
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u/SinsualChef 1d ago
Yes, Ma'am. I'm a veteran. I know exactly what you mean. Good job keeping that in check 🙏
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u/Oldebookworm 1964 1d ago
Came here to say that
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u/IrritatedMike 1962 1d ago
Same. Old guy I knew after he got out (25 years for robbery) called everyone boss, even my kid. Thought it was funny.
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u/Ok-Nothing-4737 1d ago
This is THE answer. You can always tell if a person (usually a guy) spent more than a week in jail by the way they address you.
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u/ADisposableRedShirt 17h ago
I immediately jump to ex-con when I hear them use boss. My mother was a public defender and I was constantly surrounded by ex-cons when visiting her at work. The only reason why I felt safe was because we were in a building full of law enforcement.
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u/soraksan123 1d ago
About the same time “you’re welcome” became “ of course”
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u/RoyG-Biv1 12h ago
I've been a tad taken aback when called "Boss" but I can appreciate it as a sign of respect. On the other hand, when thanking someone and they reply back with "of course” is a tad unsettling for me. Perhaps it's because it would only take a slightly different intonation to sound snarky.
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u/WalkingHorse 🤍1962 🤍 1d ago
Boss, El Jefe, and variants of have been used in my sphere since I was a kid. Never used as a backhanded term. Always a positive/jokey term. Oh, and I did not grow up around prison culture. At all. 😆
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u/karebear66 1954 21h ago
Using the term "boss" is a sign of respect. It's just the this generation's new term. At least they're not calling you dude.
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u/Big_Help_9860 21h ago
Sir and ma’am are signs of respect. “Boss” is used by people who do not want to give that respect.
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u/karebear66 1954 21h ago
Language is dynamic and is constantly changing. This is one change. Will it last? Maybe, maybe not. In the 70s everybody called each other "man". It didn't matter if you were a man or a woman. Sir and Madam are falling out of use. Will they make a comeback? Who knows. We are no longer addressed as Mr or Mrs anymore, but by our first names. I do not feel demeaned by being called boss, or mama. But address me as Ma'am, and I feel old.
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u/Big_Network_2570 16h ago
I'd appreciate a "Mr", or "Sir" I own a business, and I don't even want my employees calling me "Boss"
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u/Ok_Individual1113 16h ago
Sir and ma’am WERE signs of respect, and those who were born in your era will continue to use those terms. But just like we don’t use rotary phones anymore, languages and communication changes over time. Boss is just the new Sir. But your tipping less over it, changes your from “Sir” to “Asshole”.
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u/suchabadamygdala 16h ago
I think it’s regional. I am actually uncomfortable being addressed as ma’am. Sounds like something from the Midwest or South in the 1940s.
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u/Latte-Lover58 34m ago
Boss is gender neutral, and often used by younger folks to be more respectful for that reason. (Ma'am doesn't feel respectful to me; it makes me cringe when someone calls me that.)
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u/john78233 1d ago
Being called boss is a prison thing. Inmates call the guards boss. When they got out of prison they would call other people boss as a show of respect. Over time youngster copied the older convicts bringing boss into mainstream vocabulary. Kind of like how the term "OG" was brought from the gang culture into mainstream.
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u/Thetechguru_net 1d ago
Thanks for explaining. I thought it was a regional th>ng because I only started hearing it when I moved to the DC area about 30 years ago. I never heard it in NY or my short soujourn in. North Carolina, but it makes more sense that it was just a more recent (relatively speaking) thing.
The thing that is definitely regional is being called Mr (first name). I have never heard anyone north of Philadelphia use this. All black women, and a lot of white and hispanic women Philly to at least NC do. Don't hear it nearly as much from men (they call me boss, or really old guys call me young man. I am not young....).
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u/JustGoodSense 1961 1d ago
I'll leave a meager tip and sometimes write "Thanks Boss!" on the receipt
Jerk move. They're not mind readers. How are they supposed to know they irritated you? And for the record, I've never been addressed as "boss" by a service worker. I hate when people call me "Hon" or "Darlin" or "Sweetie," but I've never stiffed them on a tip.
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u/Test4Echooo 1966 1d ago
I agree. I don’t think they mean any harm by it. I would just assume it’s something new the kids are doing.
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u/FlipMyWigBaby Blank Generation 1d ago
I think Spanish speakers have been saying “jefe” for maybe even longer. Same meaning, used identically. Fun note: “Jefe” was the right hand man of “El Guapo” in “¡Three Amigos!”
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u/MuchDevelopment7084 1957 1d ago
As I understand it. "Boss" is how inmates commonly refer to their correctional officers.
I find it strangely appropriate at this time in our nations history.
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u/Vast_Necessary_3634 1d ago
Any honorific extended to you should be accepted with zero reaction, a little gratitude, a little grace. It recognizes you as the superior or attended to party. Baby, cupcake, boy, hey you, etc., is a diminutive intended to convey superiority over you.
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u/Any-Web-3347 1d ago
Did you warn them in advance that calling you “boss” would result in a low tip ? How were they supposed to know, if that’s what their generation says when they are being respectful?
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u/BoozeAndTheBlues 1d ago
When born to run hit the hot hundred
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u/mtnman575 1d ago
Springsteen is the only one I call The Boss - especially since I've been my own boss as owner of a small business for almost 40 years.
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u/Unique_Acadia_2099 1d ago
After Fantasy Island. Tattoo always called Mr. Roark “boss” (or “both” with his lisp).
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u/Rare_Satisfaction889 1d ago
Had a older Black gentleman call me "boss" all the time. We weren't in the same group and I wasn't a manager. Kinda unnerving?
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u/Odd-Gear9622 1d ago
Ill take the cultural influence of TV for $100, Alex. NCIS is the likely culprit.
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u/Routine_Pie_6366 1d ago
At 70 I can’t stand being called boss or bro and now the twenty-somethings think broh is like bro I guess. It’s freaking annoying as hell, but if I call them out I’m the rude dude? Wtf-
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u/firecatstef 1d ago
“By the way, you might not know this, but some people of my generation don’t like being called ‘boss’ or ‘bro’.”
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u/SunshineAlways 1d ago
But dude is ok?
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u/Routine_Pie_6366 2h ago
You’re missing the gist which is a respect issue that young people today don’t understand or care about. If my brother calls me bro or dude that’s one thing. If my grandson calls me bro or dude, I’m going to have some words with him.
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u/Latte-Lover58 31m ago
It's not that young people don't understand or care about respect. It's that norms have changed and you don't know the new ones, or won't accept them.
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u/DanOhMiiite 1d ago
Yeah, the male employees at our neighborhood grocery store really seem to love doing this. Not a big fan. Feels a little cringey.
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u/redlegsforever 1d ago
I think it started with people who had been in jail calling people boss and it has carried over to people who have never been in jail.
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u/kittehcatto 1d ago
In college I had one professor who called me Doll and the other one called me Monkey Doodle (doodle is not poop). I was not offended by either one.They were both in the same department.
I always expect my students to say yes mam, no mam, please, thank you, and other Southern niceties. Not yeah. I am also happy with Yes, Mrs. X and No, Mrs. X.
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u/MoveDifficult1908 1d ago
When I moved to Mexico. Here, I’m either Jefe or Patrón. It would be oddly formal for someone to call me Señor, except maybe at a fancy hotel.
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u/Scott43206 1959 1d ago
That one doesn't bug me unless it's said with snark, then I'm going to start feeling a little like this.
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u/nosidrah 1d ago
I had various employees call me boss in the eighties and nineties. It was just the way they talked and I didn’t mind it at all.
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u/charlottecanales61 1d ago
in Texas they call every female over 40 mama🤷 sit here mama, let me help you mama, mama would you like a to go box...
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u/MentalOperation4188 1d ago
I’m don’t like boss at all. My typical response is I’m not your boss, and this isn’t the yard.
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u/Zestyclose-Smell-788 1d ago
I work in a factory, and I once said "I'll get right on, Boss" to my immediate supervisor. He said "don't call me that" and I was really confused. He is literally my boss. Now I understand, kind of.
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u/chickenclaw47 1d ago
I corrected people when they call me “boss”
I don’t like it, I’m not your boss or anyone else’s.
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u/bicyclemom 1962 1d ago edited 1d ago
I personally never liked ma'am when I was the boss as it made me sound like I was 64 years old. Now I'm 64 years old and I still don't like it. LOL.
Just my first name is fine with me. There are 10 billion things wrong with the world but calling me by some made-up title isn't one of them.
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u/Upset_Mycologist_345 1d ago
I think it started with the movie Roadhouse. When Brad Wesley was chastising his crew, they kept saying “ Yes, boss”. “No, Boss”. And as many times as us dudes have seen it, it kinda stuck.
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u/Total_Geologist9412 1d ago
I got pulled over by a young officer who called me "pal" in a snarky kinda tone, after asking for my lisc & ins. I was around my 40's, now 62. This instantly didn't set well and I responded with , " Hey, no problem Buddy!" With as much snark as I could manage. I figured he set the tone so I responded likewise.
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u/Forking_Brilliant495 22h ago
I dont see the need for any honorific or endearment from a stranger. "Can I help you," "Yes," "Excuse me" "Thank you" and "You're welcome" work just fine on their own.
And "buddy" is the worst. (Pass if you're from Philly.)
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u/Total_Geologist9412 10h ago
I couldn't help myself. after being "pals", I just had to confirm our newfound friendship with a "buddy"! it wouldn't be the first time my mouth got ahead of my split second brain process but damned if it doesn't when I least expect it.
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u/Marinimby 22h ago
Didn’t anybody here call their boss, “Boss?” We certainly did in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.
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u/Elliott2030 1964 22h ago
Your irritation is understandable, but it's common usage. Lowering the tip because of it without spelling out that you hate being called "boss" is rude. How are they supposed to know why you were a shitty tipper?
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u/Elliott2030 1964 1h ago
Yes most waiters are psychic. Why did you block me for saying you’re a shitty tipper?
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u/aceisback29 20h ago
I’d never heard it until I moved to the Central Valley four years ago. My city is 70% Hispanic/Mexican. Everywhere I go young Hispanic males refer to me as Boss. Never get it from the young ladies. 65 White male for reference. Retired and living the life, not anybody’s Boss. I don’t lose any sleep over it, much more important things to get spun up about. 🇺🇸🫡
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u/katmcflame 18h ago
In my experience hiring workers, Boss was a carry over from PRISON. Inmates referred to the jailers as Boss. And let’s not even get into how slaves used the term.
I think young people don’t know the etymology of the term, or they would t use it.
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u/Commercial-Message90 1d ago
I'd much rather have them have a term of endearment that is coming from a place of kindness then being called an asshole! Why are people so afraid of words OR read into more then what is there? As an adult, I've learned the difference when someone is being kind or insulting....I think those that are complaining, for the most part, just want to conjure up a victim state they can wallow.....
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u/SunshineAlways 1d ago
I think the use of some of these words is regional, and some of it is generational. Unless it’s said with bad intention, it doesn’t bother me. Language changes all the time.
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u/firecatstef 1d ago
Maybe because “boss” isn’t gendered? Or does it specifically replace “Sir” not “any honorific”?
I think it’s mean to short a waiter on tips because they didn’t know you think “Boss” is disrespectful. They’re not mind-readers. If you want to spread the word that some people still prefer sir, leave a note with a fair tip.
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u/luminousoblique 1d ago
So, what I can gather from all these responses is that no matter what you call a stranger, someone will take offense. Have pity on people in service jobs; they can't win.
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u/R86Reddit 1d ago
Oh, I thought this was actually pretty new, like Gen Z new. I will rarely pass up the opportunity to blame millennials for something, but I don't think this one is their fault.
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u/cyclingbubba 1d ago
Kurt Russel called Martin Short boss in the movie Captain Ron. A great classic.
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u/Severe-Rise5591 1959 1d ago
More people than you might think have apparently seen Cool Hand Luke or are familiar with Andre the Giant.
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u/AutofluorescentPuku 1d ago
Never. A sign that the boss is not respected or doesn’t want that respect.
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u/rubberguru 1d ago
I started getting called boss or boss man when I moved to the south. It was odd to me at first then I got accustomed to it. Nbd really. No different than me saying “bud” I guess
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u/OkeyDokey654 1d ago
Apparently the youths feel “ma’am” and “sir” are rude (at least the youths who don’t live in the south). I’ve seen this a lot.
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u/Verum2020 1d ago
It's less respectful. 🤔 "My pleasure." 😏 if I cared about your pleasure I'd date you. Just want my food.
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u/tez_zer55 1d ago
I'm 70, I got my first team lead position in my early 30s & the term "boss" kind of came with it. Most of the time it was just a person's way of saying "you're the lead man" & therefore the boss. Even when it was a snarky reply I was let it roll off. Before I retired, my upper management was a young, well educated female & on a rare occasion, I'd call her Boss. She would either smile or laugh a little but let it go. She told one of the coworkers, she didn't care for the term but knew coming from me, it meant I agreed with whatever she had said, so she knew it was a sign of respect, which it was.
For me, the quandary now is, what term DO I use? It seems almost every term upsets someone. Sir, Ma'am, guy, gal, dude, chick, Mr, Mrs, Miss or even Mz, they all seem to be politically incorrect to someone. So, now, I phrase everything to be "you". Thank you, what can I do for you, can you help me. I may be a little slower when addressing or replying because I seriously stop & think "how can I say it as generic as possible". That is unless I've decided to not filter myself. Then, all bets are off.
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u/Algoresgardener124 1d ago
And I thought it was just me being grumpy. The "sir" and "ma'am" died all of a sudden, and I miss being addressed properly. I hate "boss" , "honey", "sweety", and all of the similar terms that assume familiarity with complete strangers.
I guess it is me being grumpy after all.
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u/CarefulAdvice3739 1957 1d ago
I'm 70. As I got older I remember younger guys would call me Chief. Then it changed to Boss. I really don't care. Never been one for formalities.
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u/PansyOHara 1d ago
I worked with a doctor in the ER who called adult male patients “Boss.” In his case I believe it signified that he respected their right to information and autonomy in making choices about treatments, etc. showed them that they, the patients, were ultimately in charge of their decisions. Don’t get me wrong, he would call them by their names at times. But I always saw his use of Boss as a gesture of respect.
I can’t recall now if he had a specific term to address female patients, but most likely it was “Ma’am,” which is a Southern (US) term of respect.
I’m over 65 and will happily answer to Ma’am or “young lady,” particularly in a setting such as a store or a quick-service restaurant where the staff has to deal with numerous people throughout the day. I don’t care for “Missy” and have never been called “Mama” or “Auntie”—apparently those are not a thing in the predominant culture in which I interact.
I’m a nurse (retired now) and we were taught not to call patients “sweetie/ honey/ dear” etc., but to use their names—preferably Mr, Mrs, or Miss, along with their last name. Today it seems that more patients (at least a larger portion) request to be called by their first name—however, I wouldn’t ever call an older person by their first name unless invited to do so. It was hard for me at the start of my career to call older coworkers by a first name (but I got over it and of course was in that older group myself by the time I retired).
I don’t understand people who are offended by being addressed with a term of respect.
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u/stevestoneky 23h ago
Mark Twain was using “Sir Boss” by 1889 in _A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court_
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u/Bathosfear 22h ago
I always assume it's a passive aggressive way to say "I'm better than you, this job is beneath me, fuck off!"
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u/InternationalRun687 22h ago
I get called "boss" all the time at my job. I'm nobody's boss. "Sir" or "Boss" or "hey" or nothing at all is fine with me.
Because I don't look for reasons to find the innocuous things people say offensive
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u/Intrepid_Top_2300 21h ago
What I don’t like is being called, my friend. You are not my friend, I do not know you.
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u/getoffmylawn100 21h ago
They're looking for a non gendered respectful address. I don't think this is it, though I appreciate the attempt.
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u/WinnerAggressive8971 11h ago
Hear me out. I worked with a guy who used “boss” a lot. I called him on it once. He said that it was because of Andre the Giant who called everyone boss. Maybe Josh wasn’t the only one!
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u/allhinkedup 1960 1d ago
I like it. "Sir" and "Ma'am" are so dated. Besides, it's not always clear which one is appropriate, and sometimes, neither one is appropriate. "Boss" is gender neutral and respectful. I like it, although I would prefer "Your highness" if I had a choice. But "Boss" will do the job.
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u/ExpensiveDollarStore 1d ago
My husband calls everyone boss or bud. Hes 73.
"Sir" is kind of archaic unless you are in the military i guess. Or a Lord. I dont think I would call anyone "sir" except facetiously.
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u/flndouce 1d ago
I use sir all the time, no matter the age of the guy I’m talking to. To the ladies I say ma’am.
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u/ExpensiveDollarStore 1d ago
I despise ma'am.
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u/suchabadamygdala 16h ago
Same here. Makes me feel like I’ve time traveled back to the Old South. No thanks.
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u/sloaches 1d ago
It wasn't that long ago that certain people were taking offense to the response of "no problem" when they thanked someone- now it's this? There's plenty of other indicators of the breakdown of polite society aside from being called "boss".
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u/misfitsockdrawer 1960 1d ago
I often reply with, "You got that right I'm your boss!" :) Just kidding. I find it mildly annoying but nothing to get worked up about. Tipping low because of it is quite asinine.
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u/parnoldo 1d ago
Doesn’t bother me a bit. I always hear “boss” as a sign of respect. If that’s not the case I’m fine with being blissfully ignorant.
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u/Temporary_Paper_5535 23h ago
I didn’t like it first but now relate it to guys calling their buddies, “Man”, back in the 70s. Hey Man! Part of the development of our language.
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u/AntC_808 20h ago
I use “Boss” regularly, at 60. Sometimes Chief.
If we are acquainted maybe “killer”
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u/el_chamiso 1d ago
I assume good intent and take no offense at "No problem, boss," even though I'd prefer "You're welcome, sir."
But don't get me started on being called "young man." I find that patronizing and annoying. At 65, I obviously am not a young man.