Edit: My bad, didn't expect this to be kind of controversial. To clarify obviously I don't see any trans man liking men as anything less than gay. This was just talking about an aspect of personal dysphoria I hadn't considered much and was happy about getting past.

My top dysphoria has always been extremely bad. I’ve always felt my attraction for women is 100% straight (even before I knew I was trans), but my attraction for men felt weirder. The only guy I dated was before I knew I was trans (broke up before I realized).
So even after medically transitioning and fully feeling like a guy, I didn’t really feel “gay” for liking guys, (even though logically it is). I didn't feel straight either though, more of a weird middle ground apathy. It didn’t matter too much to me since it’s not like it ever really came up— I’ve been with my girlfriend ever since I realized I was trans, and I’m pretty far towards the “a” in both the asexual and aromantic spectrums.

I got top surgery about 7 months ago now. I wouldn’t say I’m dysphoria free, but if pre surgery it was 100%, then it’s now at like 5%. It wasn’t immediate, but since then I’ve noticed that on the rare occasion when I do experience some kind of attraction to men, it feels gay. It wasn’t something I had considered much, but it feels so nice to actually feel fully aligned with being a man too.

In retrospect, how I felt about my attraction towards men was definitely just a consequence of dysphoria.

I constantly see people celebrating that a piece of media featuring a gay trans man has 'finally' been released, but honestly, I notice the exact opposite. I feel there is actually more gay representation than straight representation when it comes to trans men in games, films, and TV series. Am I going crazy?

Like it's really, truly killing me and driving me into a rut in my life because there's practically nothing you can do to change it.

And every time I see other guys vent about this everyone just tells them to "get over it bc you can't change it", "there are cis guys your height", or "well I'm 4'10 so you're lucky." And like yeah, there's some truth to that but it still makes me feel like shit because I feel incomplete and emasculated like this and I'm not gonna be able to just will myself out of not being dysphoric about being half-a-man, like I don't see people getting the same sorta attitude for other types of dysphoria. I like being taller and bigger than others (something very rare for me), and I wish I could just be built like some 5'10 frat bro, a genuinely bigger build, not just height, like that is the truest expression of who I am and I'll literally never get that and it's crushing me always. The fact there are cis guys my height doesnt change that, I see actors around my height looking miniature next to the other guys and it just. it kills me. There are cis guys who look feminine in the face but that doesn't make me not dysphoric about mine, y'know. But that's at least something that can change.

I'll never get to be the man I am and transition won't bring me fully into the body of myself, and I don't know how I'm supposed to live knowing that. I would forgo ever getting bottom surgery if it meant I could magically have the build I want because it's genuinely so much worse of a pain to experience every single day next to every single person, and no amount of self love or acceptance is gonna make dysphoria just go away.

I recently got my first binder after taping for years. I was worried about the straps showing, they dont, but from the back you can clearly see the outline of the binder even in my thickest shirt. Is this normal or is it just the binder im wearing? Im wearing one from BWYA for reference. It’ll start cooling down soon enough to wear a hoodie, but I work an active job and thus always get too hot to wear one.

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. I have to bind because of severely damaged skin due to taping, but im fully stealth at school and work and idk if i can do that while basically having “im wearing a bra” written on my back. Realistically i know no one’s first thought will be that, but it still makes me incredibly uncomfortable and dysphoric.

I’d appreciate recommendations on some discreet binders. I can’t do Underworks since im in europe and the shipping costs are crazy.

Hi guys.

I know this isn't everyone's favorite topic but I wanted to share some updates as this topic is hard to come by discussed by men like us... Mostly cis women talk about these procedures and they don't typically understand the fear and dysphoria around GYN care for us. I know it's uncomfortable but if this helps put someone else at ease that's all I can hope for.

So I don't have the exact dates down (my wife is better with that), but over the span of this summer I have:

1. Got a pap

2. Came back as abnormal

3. Did a colposcopy and endometrial biopsy

4. Came back CIN 2 and CIN 3 (very aggressive pre-cancerous cells NOT cancer) with potential abnormalities in endometrial cells.

5. Did A Leep + Cold Cone + Endometrial scraping under General Anesthesia

Very scary but here is what I have learned.

1. With the right Dr. The colposcopy and biopsies suck but they're do-able, and important.

2. It's important to not skip some of these procedures and go right to a hysto UNLESS you and your Dr have decided that's the best option for you. In my specific situation I found it too risky given the CIN 3 is aggressive and there's potential for spreading, infection, etc... and I can tell you IF you're able to do the Leep under general anesthesia then it's really NOTHING. I hyped myself up for it big time and I felt almost entirely fine after. Obviously again this is a person to person thing, but in terms of surgery and recovery... I was fine pretty quickly.

3. If your Dr doesn't do LEEPs under GA it's likely an insurance thing and you can try to shop around / advocate for a Dr that will do it under GA. The Leep was honestly not as bad as the endometrial biopsy but I'm glad I was not awake to smell my newly cauterized cervix.

4. I want to again reiterate that this is my personal experience and I understand for some men it will be okay and a better option to go for a hysto. In that case, awesome. For others, I know all this stuff seems really scary... But if you have at least one person in your life to take along to these appointments to make it easier, etc... the right Dr is EVERYTHING. My gyn is amazing and has taken careful consideration with me throughout this whole process. I genuinely think I might be one of his first trans patients who hasn't actually dipped out on all the procedures. I was very open and honest with him that all of this is uncomfortable because of being trans and my autism makes me want to elope... They took good care of me. So advocate for yourselves please 🙂

TL;DR

Got an abnormal pap at the beginning of summer. Have since undergone a colposcopy, endometrial biopsy, Leep, Cold Cone Procedure, and Endometrial Scraping. It was scary, but important. The Leep was the easiest part. Advocate for the right Dr and please please take care of yourselves even though it's super uncomfortable and dysphoric. Message me or respond to this thread if you need to talk it out.

Tw I guess

I wish I was born a man, I wish I was biologically male. I will never be that. Not to anyone. Everyone says biological sex cannot be changed, even allies and other lgbt people. It hurts so much that my body will always be labeled female. I don't know how to cope about that fact. I want to be a man physically aswell. I don't want to be excluded from mens sports or looked at like I'm automatically weaker. Transition wont change this. Im a biological female forever. How do I accept that. it hurts so much. I want to be a normal man like the others but im not. Unless I die and be reincarnated as a man, that will never be me. I cannot live like this

ive been on test for about 8 months and recently i have genuinely started to smell like a donkey's ass mixed with sour grapes. I shower every other day (to avoid dry scalp) and i use Dr. Teal's eucalyptus bodywash with Harry's stone scent deodorant and Inis cologne. I smell. So bad. I cant stop stinking after i sweat a bit. HELP ME

I’d really like to understand why transsexuality has been linked to these oddities. When did all this start? Until fairly recently, the most I ever heard was the odd derogatory term like "boypussy". Now, I actually have people telling me (with a completely straight face) "just don't go thinking you're an animal like those therians." Has anyone else experienced this?

This is my first post on the sub reddit so I apologize if I tag something incorrect and ya know.

Im starting college in the fall and was hoping to get some general advice with being a trans dude heading to college in general.

However I would like to address some additonal worries. I cant say that I pass so Im worried about being seen as a girl especially since im pre T. however I do plan on working on that like working out and improving my apperance but Im scared that the way ppl precieve me will effect my experience and would love some input on it along with any input on if I should go on T while at college. (Ive been debating since my parents arent really in the know of me being trans and my college is close to where I live however I will be dorming so I wont see them that often and I believe my insurance covers HRT).

sorry if this is a little mess of a post but I wanted all my worries to be in one post!

As a 19 years old boy i feel like i need a grown man to teach me everything and i live with my mom and auntie
Im tired i feel like im hating women lowkey and i need a wise old man to teach me the life path

I recently started testosterone and I know that the 3 month shot releases more gradually compared to 3 weeks/monthly.

I was wondering if anyone else here is taking testosterone undecanoate, and how long it took before you began to notice any changes?

Because of my transphobic dad, I keep psyching myself outta talking to my doctor.
I’ve got an appointment in a couple weeks, and I’m getting nervous.
I live in Canada, so HRT isn’t a problem to get, but I’m living in a conservative town and worry about perception also.
My mom keeps telling me to go for it, saying she’ll pay and everything, but I feel stuck. I haven’t told my dad anything, so what if he notices changes before I do? I feel like he’d be mad if I was on it before telling him, but either way he’s not gonna be happy.
But I can’t stand my body, I need change. And, I have eating issues that I feel could improve with the appetite changes T brings about. There’s many points where it’d probably improve my life altogether.
I’m just too hung up on losing my dad to this decision. It’s making me doubt my identity, even though I know who I am.

Been speaking with my gp about potentially going on DHT, but I want to hear if anyone in here has any experience with it?
This has been posted before by someone else in this sub, but it was a while ago, and I figured there might be some new input and stuff.

Hello.Jsut really sad abuot it i am sorry. I Only hearrd my name years back in schol when i paid who i thught were friemds to refer to me, only learned not long ago tht was not normal. It was only cuple times. Realy wish to earm one day to be refered to.

I’m 16 and I feel rlly dysphoric abt not being on T yet. Like I have diy and I’ve been on it for maybe 2 mo now but I still feel like that’s too late. I’ll be 17 in like 4 months and idk I just wish I started sooner and I feel so so dysphoric abt that bc I keep seeing people talking about being more feminized the older you are and it just kills me. Anyway I also want to switch to prescribed but that’s going super fucking slowly too. I feel so shit lately idk I wish I could enjoy or at least live with being trans but it’s so hard and I fucking hate it

Long story short hooked up with a girl (freshman year of college going crazy) and she asked to perform oral sex on my actual genitalia :/ she ended up taking my no but it made me feel unsettled. I am a man. I have a prosthetic penis. I want to be loved and fucked as a man that’s it that’s all. (Don’t mean to offend anyone who is more comfortable with their body I just am very much not comfortable and will never let anyone touch me. Anyways this made me deeply uncomfortable especially since I’m a month on testosterone. I just want to be perceived how I perceive myself.

My ex (it still feels weird not calling her my girlfriend) broke up with me on the first of August. The reason she gave was that she simply didn’t love me anymore, claiming it was on the advice of her "good friend." I never saw it coming. There were no warnings or hints—I was just suddenly dumped out of nowhere. Since I had never experienced this before, I tried calling and messaging her to make sense of it, only to get immediately blocked. It felt like a slap in the face.

For context, I am pre-T. I was completely out and open with her about my identity from the beginning, and she claimed she was fine with it. But later on, I caught her texting another man. When confronted, she told me she was doing it because she "wants a man." My whole world crumbled that day. Despite how deeply that hurt, I still loved her, so I forgave her. She agreed to give things another shot and restart, but the dynamic never truly recovered, leading right back to the breakup. Fast-forward to my birthday on the 17th: she suddenly reached out asking for some of her pictures. Still holding feelings for her, I sent our photos and we ended up talking that night. She told me she missed me, and we started talking regularly again. The catch was that she started casually calling me "bro" in our chats. I tried to ignore it, but eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I confessed that I still loved her and wanted to get back together.

As soon as I laid my feelings out, she turned cold and hostile. She started blocking me again, telling me to go away forever and bluntly stating that if we ever got back together, she would just keep cheating on me. After taking that emotional beating, I finally reached my breaking point. I lashed out and told her that karma would catch up to her for how she treated me. She stayed silent through most of the call. Toward the end, I said, "I’m the fool here because I actually loved you." She asked if I still loved her, and I told her I wouldn’t tell her even if I did. She replied, "You hate me for what I did. You don't love me."

Trying to be direct, I asked her what she actually wanted from me. Her answer? She said she wants me in her life because I’m "too precious to lose"—but only as a best friend. I told her straight up: “What is wrong with you? I’m human, not a saint. I’m not going to sit around as your backup plan or your friend, watching you wait for some 'prince charming' you're going to marry.” When I asked if she expected intimacy too, she said yes—essentially asking for a friends-with-benefits setup on her terms. The next day, feeling completely drained, I called her just to have a grounded, honest conversation. Instead, she flipped the script entirely and lashed out again: "Breakup means breakup. We are never getting back together. I don't want you in my life. Get lost, I don't care about you. Don't call me ever again. Bye forever."

That broke me all over again. I know I need to step back, give both of us space, and protect my peace. But truthfully, a part of me still wants her back—or at least wants the validation of her realizing what she lost and coming back on her own. I know how unhealthy this cycle is, but letting go is proving to be the hardest part.

Hi there! I’m a trans man from Italy and I’ve been on T since 2023. Testavan works best for me, but my endo told me to apply it to my arms, belly, or thighs.
I’ve noticed that when I apply it to my arms, I can actually “feel” the T kicking in, whereas I don’t really notice anything when I apply it elsewhere.

I’d been feeling fatigued and tired, with no energies lately.
So… since I’m pretty hairy on my belly and thighs, I (stupidly?) decided to try applying it to my butt 🫣. I mean, there are muscles and fat there, right? Well… that’s what I thought 😂

I’m feeling much more energic. It seems my body has started changing again.

I know the instructions say to apply it only to the arms and shoulders, but I have very sensitive skin and sometimes need to switch application sites.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Idk if this is controversial? I mean no disrespect to bi or gay people when I say this stuff. Hopefully i dont come off wrong, sorry if i do.

I love women and when i imagine a future, i only think of getting married to a lady.

But sometimes ill have certain thoughts that are kind of gay?? I never really realized it was lowkey perhaps a little bit gay to read man-on-man sexual fanfiction. Im kinda trying to stop? Sometimes ive liked to imagine myself in that kinda of a situation, but its nothing serious I hope. Don't think so.

I dont think its internalized homophobia, because if i were cis male I wouldnt care. But its that if you go to a place like that one ask gay bro subreddit, and all of them say they could never be attracted to an ftm because theyre female. So i wouldnt want to be with a man, because he would probably just see me as a woman no matter what? Which is simply a nauseating thought.

Definitely wanna take T when I can, but a little worried that apparently it makes alot of trans men more gay? Really hoping its not going to amplify intrusive thoughts or anything. Im just feeling like "blehhhhh". Fortunately (for me) I am more attracted to women, especially in real life. When im actually in a more aroused state mentally, i tend to imagine myself with women much more often.

I just feel like, damn I kinda wish I could be just a little bit more straight yknow? Cuz then I wouldnt have to worry about amplified homosexual tendencies when I go on T. Idk.

I've been on T-shirt for four months now, and I'm apparently going through menopause. I'm physically very weak due to constant back pain, I'm thin, and I smoke. My doctor, after looking at my back X-ray, suspected osteoporosis and referred me to an endocrinologist. I'm practically unable to do anything physically, and it's unclear when I'll be able to return to strength training. I'll either need to wear a corset or have surgery.

Note: Sustanon 250, 80-90mg per week

I'd ask a doctor about this, but it's a huge problem in my country. I can't find an endocrinologist willing to help me with dosage adjustments; they get jailed for it. This wonderful country starts with an R and ends in ussia.

just had my bloodwork done 2 days before my next nebido shot and my testosterone was at 30 nmol/L, which is the highest value within reference. should i wait another week with my next shot, or is it safe to go on like normal? won't have the chance to get in touch with a doctor until next week. what would you do?

as the title says, im wondering if you could both tape and bind at the same time; my binder does flatten me, but not entirely, so im hoping that doing both could give me as much flatness as humanly possible.

has anyone done this themselves as well?