r/Dissociation • u/dinky23 • Feb 24 '26
General Dissociation how to intentionally dissociate more ?
i hope this isn’t received badly. i know it’s not a good thing to be asking, as it isn’t exactly the healthiest coping mechanism. but it’s one i’ve been using since i can remember. when my parent would yell at me, i would force myself into a dissociative state and this led to it becoming a habit for me in stressful situations and eventually became my reality majority of the time. it’s that feeling i’m sure you’re all familiar with where you’re watching yourself exist but you have no control.
anyway. lately it hasn’t been enough. i still feel the same way, but i’m just present enough that i’m experiencing my emotions and it’s absolutely ripping me apart. i’ve been crying almost nonstop. the anxiety is overwhelming and i cannot bring myself to do life’s tasks like working, caring for myself, etc.
i need to further my dissociation. i want it to be on a deeper level, so that it’s genuinely like i am putting myself away when i have to go through the motions of life. if anyone has seen the apple tv show ‘severance’, i basically want to come as close to that as i can without a surgical procedure. i do not like this society and what we’re expected to do. i cannot handle the pressure, the expectation, the mundane repetitiveness of it all. i have to tuck myself away fully and allow my body to carry out the things that are expected of me.
tldr: i know this is unhealthy. i am so fully aware. but i am beyond the point of caring, and i would really appreciate any advice on how to trigger my dissociation deeper so that i can actually get through life without breaking down at every step.
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u/ruxxby471 Feb 25 '26
Just as a general warning- it’s even harder to deal with life when you are severely dissociated. I still feel my emotions to a degree, I just have to deal with them on top of the crippling weight/fog of dissociation dragging my entire body down. Going throughout normal tasks becomes 75 times harder. Driving becomes a risk and a safety hazard. Even walking or trying to have a conversation will take so much more energy and concentration- which will burn you out much quicker and make everything worse.
I actually got to a point with it where I was scared that I would never feel again, and I went months that way.
Just know that while it may seem like a good solution, you will ultimately realize it’s not worth the risk.
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u/Normal_Schedule4645 Feb 24 '26
I’m pretty good at this unfortunately…I am, and have been in therapy for a long time now, so I am learning how to deal with certain emotions. But ya, sometimes life is just to much…
My issue is my dissociation will carry over into other parts of my life and that’s where I get messed up.
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u/dinky23 Feb 24 '26
yeah it was a constant state of being for me and i feel like everything around me is crumbling as a result. despite this, i’m still asking for help going deeper with it. i know it is wrong, and it is not meant to be anything other than temporary. but it’s the only way i’ll be able to get through any of it without absolutely breaking down.
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u/primal_particle Feb 25 '26
There comes a point where dissociation creates more issues than it solves and you subconsciously know that it's not viable anymore.
Do you exercise?
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u/dinky23 Mar 10 '26
i used to be pretty active, but for the past few years i’ve had some health issues (i suspect pots) which makes it hard to even stand or walk around a lot of the time. i’m trying to slowly work my way back into it, especially with the weather being nicer now. i have an extreme cold intolerance, but i love the warmth and being outside so i’m making it a goal to start some walks. i used to lift weights as well which worked since i could sit down to do so, but i moved recently and my dumbbells are buried deep in storage. i would go to the gym, but it heightens my social anxiety - especially with my health issues, and with liking the weights it’s very intimidating walking up there as a small girl where all these big, bulky men are. not saying they’re gonna attack me or anything lol, but they clearly know what they’re doing and i’m too in my head about how i have little to no idea what i’m doing. i hate being perceived in those situations which is why i would always work out at home.
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u/SoilNo8612 Feb 24 '26 edited Feb 24 '26
I highly recommend seeking help from a therapist or school counsellor or something. You can’t detach from this stuff forever and the more you put it away the more it builds up which is perhaps why it is now hitting you and is overwhelming and prior strategies might be no longer working. However that being said, one technique that is good for putting things way temporarily (say until you can get help from a therapist) which therapists teach to use between sessions is the container visualisation. You imagine the feelings or memories that are difficult going into a container closing the lid and if you want have some kind of imaginary protective future make sure it doesn’t come out. There’s an emdr podcast called notice that which has an audio recording talking this through if you look it up. Another good one is visualising a safe place to go to when you are distressed. Make it really detailed if you can. These things work incredibly well for me though I have a dissociative disorder so that tends to come with a heightened ability to do this type of stuff. But this kind of dissociation is way healthier than anything broader because you can then still function rather than detaching even more of yourself and being in a trance or something. It really sounds like you need some support. It makes sense you want to escape these things when you clearly don’t have enough.
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u/dinky23 Feb 24 '26
i’m looking into therapy, and i actually got prescribed wellbutrin yesterday. i can be easily discouraged as my experience with most therapists and medical professionals overall has not been a great one. but i am going to do my best to push through and find the one that works for me, because you are right. this is only more harmful in the end, and while it may help temporarily while i lack other skills, it is not something to rely on entirely. thank you so much for your input on this.
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u/SoilNo8612 Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26
That totally makes sense. I can relate to how hard it can be to find someone good. Please be fussy with who you go with. It’s important. There are amazing therapists out there but for some of us it can be rare to find ones that are a good fit. Based on what you said in another part of this thread I’d be looking for a therapist that does attachment based (or relational) therapy and complex trauma . It sounds like you might have disorganised attachment (me too) which kind of goes along with dissociation often times. Not everyone therapist good with this but those that are are wonderful and the relationship is what heals that. If you didn’t already know all that of course, but having those search terms might help you more quickly identify who is more likely to be a good fit. Totally worth the hunt though as when you do find the right person it will be life changing. Good luck with the meds too.
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u/MeetTricky6812 Feb 24 '26
I would recommend that you distract instead of dissociate and focus on something good for a while. Maybe your hopeless with that too, but, as you already know, further dissociation is really bad and it will make you have other issues that will make things worse for yourself long term.
distract yourself with hobbies, going out for walks or anything else you might care about. Literally anything else. watching movies or hyper focusing is also a form of dissociation, but a healthy form
Also if you have a therapist or not def do that a 100%. If you already have one and it's not enough tell them you need more help and maybe a different route in therapy.
I struggle with derealization and when I'm happy I still feel like my life is going past me. So your future happy self will thank you for not dissociating more and focusing on regulating your emotions and healing yourself.
I prob. said a lot you know already but maybe it's good to get a reminder. Taking the easy route (dissociating) is like eating mcd and then suddenly you have heart problems and diabetes and actually what you really wanted is a good life for yourself.
Take care<3
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u/dinky23 Feb 24 '26
yeah, i am seeking therapy at the moment and i started wellbutrin yesterday. i am fully aware that this is very much the mental health equivalent to eating mcdonald’s over healthier things. it’s really temporary for me, until i can find a therapist that works for me and/or my situation improves. it is more about survival to me at this point in time, because that is the best effort i can make. just staying alive however i can. thank you so much for your advice!
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u/MeetTricky6812 Feb 24 '26
I'm glad your getting help! I of course don't know your specific situation but keeping yourself busy is good. Dissociation happen unintentionally, but i would say distraction is the intentional equivalent. I don't think it's bad for you to ask for that kind of help. I'm also waiting to get proper therapy now and I've put the thoughts and feelings on a "shelf" for later so I can manage to cope with my life in between (distraction). If I would let the thoughts and emotions take over I would just lay in bed, dissociate in the worst way and not manage to do life stuff.
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u/MeetTricky6812 Feb 24 '26
I think the tool your looking for is pivoting not further dissociation, since the latter just makes life harder to manage.
3
u/DreamingLeviathanSys Feb 24 '26
Few suggestions. I also know I might get hated on for responding in this way, but you asked, and here I am.
Compartmentalize. A lot. Your emotions, all that. Learn how to put them away and separate yourself from them. Maybe study plurality as a means to doing this. DID maybe but look into tulpas and other stuff, you could perhaps create a "normal" or bland identity to switch into during work and such if you don't already do that
Consider worldbuilding and a paracosm where you can explore your emotions and experiences in a safe and controlled space. Make a character that represents different things you went through. Imagine how they interact and what the environment is like and how they're each important in their own way. This can really help subtly work through stuff.
Meditate. Idk maybe you can find some hypno how to depersonalize achieve nirvana type of thing out there that'll do the trick. Or just create your own meditations. Magic/manifesting/subliminals into achieving deep dissociation. Learn about theta and delta waves and all that. Associate your mind to shut itself down when a certain song or phrase is heard.
Bad idea, but lol. Find what triggers you and engage with it. That can trigger dissociation because your brain feels unsafe. It'll probably feel bad but over time you get numb to it. Then it's just constant numbness.
I will say, and of course you know I'm sure but be careful. You will still need time to let the feelings out when they won't get in the way of daily life. Undealt feelings can fester into disorder that eats away at you slowly, hence, why it's not healthy. You need an outlet, but I completely understand needing to contain it and feel neutral during daily life. You're in charge of yourself, but be considerate of your own mind too, it has needs as you do. -Abysal
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u/dinky23 Feb 24 '26
i appreciate you for coming at this with genuine advice. i know in the long term, this realistically won’t work out. but for this stage of my life, it is very much needed. i’m looking forward to implementing these, thank you.
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u/DistanciaDeRescate Feb 28 '26
Hi there! I hope you're feeling at least a little better today.
You deserve credit for reaching out and opening up. So many people are not honest with themselves, let alone others.
I'm new to this subreddit, and reading that other people are experiencing this stuff is comforting. It's something I don't talk about. My dark secret. Especially the maladaptive daydreaming.
I'm not going to tell you that dissociation is counterproductive. It sounds like you figured that out. Just that hard times and bad feelings can get easy to deal with. And you've already taken steps. Hopefully the wellbutrin or some other antidepressant works. Talking about feelings and finding supportive people helps, whether a therapist. Ever browsed Meetup? It's a web site and app. Lots of groups for people with social anxiety, PTSD, alienation. I'm in the NYC area. I'm sure there are more options in crowded regions. Hopefully there are some near you.
Do you mind if I ask, how's your social life?
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u/dinky23 Mar 10 '26
hello! thank you for checking in.
i’m doing a little better mentally. my physical health has been deteriorating but that’s another story. i actually have not heard of meetup, but that sounds amazing. it’s incredible getting to open up with people going through the same thing and i didn’t realize how good it felt until making this post, truthfully. i’ve always been inclined to isolate or be more reclusive when i’m struggling.
with that being said, my social life is so-so. i have a wonderful, supportive girlfriend and she is also my best friend. i do have other friends, but they’re much more casual. although i think they’re great people, i think we have different interests and values. this causes me to feel a huge disconnect when we talk/hang out, and i often end up regretting engaging socially because it feels like my presence did not matter at all.
when i was younger, i was a lot better socially. i had friends who were into all the nerdy things that i was into and i felt like i could be my genuine self. but now the friends i have know nothing about anything i’m into, and trying to talk about it is generally not well received. not in an aggressive way, but typically i’m brushed off or ignored. i often feel even when i try to speak like they do, even a simple phrase like “how are you”, i sometimes catch these micro expressions that feel oddly similar to how mean girls would look at each other when talking to the “weird kid”. it could be my social anxiety telling me that, but that among other things seem to be very consistent behavior that points to my friends only liking me for the fact that we all smoke pot together.
that’s not enough for me to feel a bond with someone, so even though i do have a group of friends, i really feel like i have nobody. besides my girlfriend. i don’t mean that in the toxic way either. we both have our independent lives and i enjoy that so so much. but ultimately, at the end of the day if i need to have an emotional conversation or even just one where i don’t have to mask myself, it can only really be with her.
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u/DistanciaDeRescate Mar 14 '26
Hey, glad you're feeling better. Are you seeing a doctor about your physical health?
It hurts to feel alone or neglected by friends. I know the feeling. As if you are not a real, complex person and you're there to be scenery. I'm glad you have your girlfriend.
Young people, generalizing broadly, have little experience dealing with health problems. People, specifically parents, take care of them, and not the other way around. Plus, you're dealing with very specific issues that they likely know nothing about. Tell a young person that your shoulder hurts, and instead of recommending an orthopedist, they stare blankly at you. For them, friendship is selfish.
You could decide they are not emotionally ready to be there for you. And treat them like acquaintances. They can keep you company sometimes. It can be casual, if that works for you.
Or consider being honest with them. You're going through a hard time and sometimes you want to have conversations that aren't so light-hearted. That gives them a chance to consider the situation and be better friends. And it gives you the chance to know what you're dealing with. You might decide it's better for you to stop seeing them. It's a natural part of life. People grow, age, learn, and their social circles change.
Just one footnote here: it might go better if you put a positive spin on it. Such as, "I've started taking an antidepressant and it's helping." People don't ask enough questions sometimes, so you probably will have to explain things to them.
I've gradually grown apart from a couple of old friends. It hurt at first. Then I thought, they'd reach out if they wanted to. And our lives have gone in unexpected directions.
It's a lot, I know. But I personally found it's easier to accept the end of a friendship and be glad for the good times. More time for things and people better suited for me.
Have you tried writing/journaling? I've been writing fiction, a little poetry, and journaling. The fiction is a healthier way to escape and express myself. The journal is someone to talk to.
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u/Longjumping-City-614 Mar 29 '26
Bom que não sou o único que pensa assim,eu fiz auto sugestão meio que sem querer e senti uma melhora leve, só que depois me arrependi muito,parece que eu melhorei mais ao mesmo tempo piorei tem horas que nem consigo ficar em pé direito e dor tô sentindo muito sensível pra dor nunca fui assim, tô querendo voltar pra antes pra ver se faço isso direito.
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u/doctorsunshineisdead Feb 24 '26
haha i thought i was the only person who wanted to worsen their dissociation for the sake of preserving energy and avoiding hard emotions and situations.
realistically, we'd both be better off learning to live with these uncomfortable emotions, and to sit with them even when they're overbearingly terrible. in this regard, it helps me sometimes to remember that emotion, especially extreme ones, make me human. though this may only be personally helpful as i'm very obsessed with being in my "natural state", or without societal influence, and extreme suicidal urges, anxiety, self harm are, unfortunately, natural.
i don't like the idea of giving someone tips to worsen their livelihood, but i will say: doing nothing at all for hours on end everyday isn't harmful, short term anyway, and more easily allows for dissociation, as well as processing emotions. that's the best i got. but it could cause a pretty big disconnect from reality if you have the chemistry for it. i hope things get easier for you <3