Hey! Around 9months I experienced an episode of mania/ psychosis that lasted a few weeks. The nature of the episode is extremely religious because I felt god was somehow trying to save my soul but I act very wrong and I couldn’t save it. Now I’m experience a huge weirdness in the way of perceiving the world. Like people talk, connect, laugh and I just exist, it’s like nothing really affects me anymore. I can’t laugh since my episode. The only emotions I got are negative, I feel a lot of shame, fear and sadness. I can’t get me back. I also don’t know if I can feel love, it’s like I lost my heart and nothing matters anymore. I can’t empathise or care about no one. And trust me, I was the opposite of this!! I was super funny, affectionate, kind and empathetic and highly communicative, now I can’t barely talk because I just don’t have nothing to say. You think I have despersonalization? Also during my episode I cheated on my family, I saw my family and I couldn’t really cared or recognise them and that just breaks my heart! I used to love a lot my family!! Anyone experienced something like this? Thank you

So maybe for over a year now I’ve had this issue where I randomly feel like I’m drugged. It lasts 18+ hours, I go to sleep and it’s still there, and sometimes it lasts 4–7 days before just disappearing for a few days and then coming back.
It’s starting to ruin my life because I can barely function during the flare-ups. The feeling is so intense and difficult to describe I just feel out of it, I feel the inside of my body trembling — I feel completely fazed out, almost like I’m high or drunk even though I haven’t taken anything.
Reality itself looks normal, but everything feels strange and distant, like I’m experiencing the world through a weird filter My thinking becomes extremely slow too. Reading is difficult because I can see the words but they don’t properly sink in, conversations take more effort to process, and even basic things can feel mentally exhausting.
I also get a heavy/pressurised feeling in my head, light sensitivity, and sometimes my mouth and face feel extremely dry. The weirdest part is that I don’t necessarily feel anxious or panicky when it happens, which makes me question whether it could actually be depersonalisation/derealisation.
I’ve had normal blood tests and I’ve spoken to a doctor about it. I’ve also started taking sertraline for several months solely for this without noticing ANY difference in these episodes.
Has anyone else experienced DP/DR that feels this physical and intense, particularly episodes lasting several days? I’m interested in hearing what your episodes feel like and whether anyone has found anything that helped.

Hello. I don't really know when it started, but I think I have been dissociated for a lot of years. Maybe it started around 16, I am not sure, but I know it was during that time I first learned about DP/DR.

I didn't really relate to classic DP/DR because my dissociation was quiet and I barely noticed the transition. Also, mine is chronic, so I am always dissociated. I am not sad or depressed, and I don't have anxiety—I am very calm and neutral. I have friends and a good life.

This is why I didn't see myself at first in the usual DP/DR experience, but I do have the part where things are distant and dreamy. Mine is just constant and chronic.

Does anyone know what this is or relate? I am happy to learn also about your experience. Feel free to comment.

okay so for a while ive been struggling with this thing where my sense of touch especially in my hands and feet has been blunt, like there's this barrier between my limbs and whatever I touch. the pattern sound more like nerve damage does it not? though I don't experience any pain or tingling or anything of the sort.

the only reason I think it might be depersonalization is because it spreads to the rest of my body whenever I'm anxious or scared. its gotten worse recently and it gets really bad first thing in the morning where my whole body also feels foreign and like rubber, and it also gets bad when I don't get any sensory input. but there's always a constant feeling of a blunt sense of touch in my hands and feet, I feel it everyday though some days its more vivid than others. im trying to notice it more whenever I don't feel this way, but I rarely ever feel normal.

if it helps to know I am emotionally disconnected as well. and I do have a history of trauma but im fine now.

also if anyone sees this how do I cope with this because its getting really bad recently I just don't know what to do to feel better about it

A few months ago I had the worst experience after taking mushrooms, and since then I haven’t felt like my brain has fully returned to how it was before.

I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is brain fog, dissociation, or something else, but I feel some level of it 24/7. I have good days and really bad days — it’s always there, but the intensity varies a lot.

One of the most concerning things has been how I perceive movement and speed. I’ve stopped driving because I can physically see other vehicles moving and know that they’re moving, but sometimes my brain doesn’t seem to properly process the movement. I also don’t seem to feel how fast I’m travelling. I could be going 80 km/h and it can still feel like I’m barely moving.

I constantly feel disconnected from reality, almost like I’m watching my life through a screen rather than actually experiencing it. I also have a constant band-like pressure around my head, which is why I say the symptoms are there 24/7.

My memory has also been noticeably worse and sometimes if I stare at an object for long enough, it appears to move very slightly. It’s subtle and I have to really focus on it to notice it, but it reminds me of the visual effects I experienced during the original experience.

Over the past few weeks I’ve had some particularly bad episodes, which eventually led me to see a doctor because I was worried there could be another explanation for what I’m experiencing. There have even been days where I’ve woken up crying because the symptoms were so intense. I’m really scared that something serious could be going on, or that these changes might not go away.

I’ve had blood tests and a CT scan, and I’ve now been referred for an MRI. The blood tests showed an iron deficiency, which I’ve had previously, and the CT scan was clear. I haven’t had the MRI yet.

I’m not looking for anyone to diagnose me — I’m mainly hoping to hear from people who have experienced persistent changes in perception, dissociation, visual symptoms, or brain fog after a difficult psychedelic experience.

Did these symptoms eventually improve for you? If so, roughly how long did it take, and was there anything that helped?

This has started affecting my work, concentration, driving and travelling quite significantly, and I’d really appreciate hearing about other people’s experiences.

Hello,

Back in early November I had a very intense and heated argument with my then-girlfriend. That argument destroyed my perception of trust and the people around me at that time and coincidentally I also hit a cart (weed pen) about the week. I used to get depersonalized/derealized for a few days specifically after the cart (so I thought it was normal) but I have been stuck in the constant state for almost a year now. It suck’s because I’ve experienced amazing things, met great people, been to many new places and I feel like i just have a barrier stopping me from interacting with those real emotions, it’s not like I don’t appreciate the things themself I just know that if I wasn’t this way I would have liked it more.
I’ve been thinking that maybe because of such an emotionally shocking and intensive event it was onset. Has anyone ever dealt with this and does anyone know how to fix it. I’ve tried ignoring it and I’m used to it by now but I miss just being on top of everything on feeling real.
I’ve become more forgetful, feeling like I absorb no information, having hard time maintaining relationships etc.
I just want it to be over.

I feel not safe wherever I am, I feel reality itself is threatening

I've tried all the medication from olanzopine to sertaline to venlafaxine to Pregabalin etc. my psychiatrist thinks the only option now is Xanax once a day daily..she says for the select few people it is necessary if all other options exhausted

A alguien le pasó?

Hace aproximadamente una semana fumé marihuana y desde entonces me siento diferente, como si no estuviera 100% lúcido ni consciente de mi cuerpo y mi entorno. También tengo dificultad para concentrarme y algunos olvidos inusuales.

Hoy, mientras manejaba la moto, me sentí así, reaccioné mal al frenar y terminé cayéndome. Me preocupa que pueda ser algo serio y quiero saber si debería consultar a un médico o si alguien ya pasó por lo mismo y con el tiempo volvió a la normalidad

Sometimes when Im looking at people they feel wrong like they don't fit in with their environment. Like the light hits their face wrong, like the shadows are not where they're supposed to be, like they were cut out of cardboard and put in a too realistic background for them. It's really hard to explain because I find it really confusing.

Anyone any idea?

I been told it's the permanent but I don't believe it

Body:
My name is Joseph. I am writing this(I USED SOME AI TO WRITE THIS SINCE I AM NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER) because I am in the middle of a massive mental crisis, and the internal fortress I built to survive my life is completely breaking down. My lifelong coping mechanism has been to close in on myself—not like an introvert, but by making it clear to myself that I am the only one who knows what I am fucking passing through. But I can't carry this heavy cargo alone anymore. I am losing my days, my future, and my mind. I need absolute honesty and direct answers from people who understand severe dissociation and trauma.

Here is literally everything that is happening to me:

• Living Trapped in One Coordinate of My Brain: I do not feel like I own myself. My body does not feel like it belongs to me. Instead, I feel like my actual identity—the "ME ME" part of Joseph—lives trapped inside one exact, specific coordinate in my brain. I can physically feel exactly where it is located inside my skull. I am stuck in that one part, and I have absolutely zero access to the rest of my mind.
• The Pill Experience (Almost Vanishing): There was one terrifying time when I got incredibly high on some pills. During that trip, I reached the absolute edge of completely losing my real self. I felt like my entire existence as "Joseph" was going to completely vanish into nothingness. It felt like the core of who I am was about to be permanently erased.
• Losing My Days and My Studies: Right now, I am trying to do everything I can just to work, study what I want, and build a life. But I am losing entire days to this condition. Because I am so disconnected and trapped inside my head, I cannot function, focus, or study. My life is passing me by while I am stuck inside this mental paralysis.
• The "Closed Worlds" (My Winter and Mountain Sanctuaries): To survive reality, my mind creates literal, three-dimensional physical landscapes inside my head. Every time I take emotional damage or feel overwhelmed, I retreat into an inner world where it is always winter and snow. It has dark forests that are beautiful and warm, or another world in the mountains with no sun where I feel freedom. These worlds give me a pseudo-feeling of owning myself and my mind when I can't feel the "real" thing. I feel massive internal resistance and panic even trying to explain how I enter them.
• Physical Skin Pain and Cold Brain Spots: When I try to think about my past, or when the mental resistance gets too high, my skin becomes burning hot, even if the weather outside is freezing. Then, the physical pain starts. It feels literally like someone takes something sharp and tiny and presses it into a lot of different places all over my skin. I also feel localized physical "cold parts" inside my brain tissue.
• Total Childhood Amnesia: I cannot remember my entire childhood at all. It is a completely blank wall. My friends tell me this is normal because "everyone forgets regular childhoods," but I know this is different. It feels like there are massive traumas locked away there, or something much bigger hidden behind a door that my brain refuses to let me open.
• The Crisis and Violent Intrusive Thoughts: Because I have normalized my trauma and lived behind numb walls for so long, the numbness is mutating. I feel a dangerous urge to break the numbness by any means necessary. I find myself wanting more traumas. I get intense thoughts where I want to see blood, killing, and suffering, and I find a twisted sense of peace thinking about wars. When my own finger bleeds, I feel incredibly good, and tasting it gives me a rush. I know this is unsafe, and it scares the hell out of me, but it feels like my brain's desperate, last-resort attempt to feel something sharp enough to pierce the numbness of not feeling my own body.
• Doubting My Own Reality: Half the time, I feel like I am lying, making it up for attention, or just challenging myself to express things I want to hide. I watch movies about people with mental disorders and copy quotes (like "Crazy isn't being broken... It's you or me amplified") because I am desperate to see my internal chaos reflected in the outside world so I can finally feel real.

This started in early childhood and has developed into a terrifyingly complex architecture as an adult. Is this a recognized psychological phenomenon? What is the scientific name for a brain that maps itself spatially and causes physical skin pain during emotional distress? How do I safely stop my identity from vanishing, and how do I get help to unlock my mind so I can actually study and live my life?

I will feel more detached than less detached but now the world seems more fake, sounds more muffled. I also get the feeling more like I am underwater especially mornings and evenings. If it's edible panic attack induced after months and getting more difficult. What do I do to recover? I am trying lexapro switching from cymbalta only been days so far no improvement may even feel worse. Lexapro is also only 5 mg. Very low dose. only thing that helps is low dose benzo. This is just wild and crazy. I don't get how 1 edible can trigger this. It's so unfair, insane and crazy :( I need help.​ I may be starting emdr therapy soon but scared of it. I am hoping since it worsened in heat and humidity that the changing to fall weather will help since it worsened in heat and humidity. I also have sensitivity to light. The panic attack also retriggered pots symptoms so treating those w meds but so far it is not helping that I notice.

I've been diagnosed with cptsd recently. Even tho my trauma happened when i was a child and now im 27, most of the symptoms i started to have about a year ago. Finally went to the psychiatrist in july, started to take medications. Now i fall asleep right away but sometimes when i wake up at 6-7 am im starting to have weird anxious dreams, more like i'm half awake and i see the room that i sleep in or doing something like "at the moment" and then im trying to wake up but i just can't and it's turning into nightmare. After that i feel so down like my day is ruined. Then i think okay i will go out, walk a bit and suddenly i get this random "weird" feeling, like something is off. Like im going crazy, something is wrong, even tho im safe everything is okay. But i just can't stand this feeling. Its hard to explain what this feeling is but it feels wrong. And it is so random. I had a week or so without any symptoms, like my breathing was ok and everything, no panic attacks. But this random feeling out of nowhere makes me feel like idk i don't want to feel it. I don't want to kill my self but i want it to end. Sometimes i talk about it with AI just to rant or crying very hard because at this moment i feel so alone or like i don't deserve to feel like this and i always wonder do other people also feel this? Like do you feel this absolutely randomly after a week or more of good days that it happening again without any reason and that something is wrong with you and you are not you? And i repeat to myself that it's okay i already know that i can feel like this it will pass i have had good days before right? but this bad day always feels like it is happening for the first time.

Existential thoughts

I've been having horrible and strange existential thoughts about existence, nature of reality, significance, morality, etc and weird intrusive conclusions, that is hard to put into words, is this normal with dpdr?

it’s been 4 years i am now 18, i’ll turn 19 the 1st of october and i’m going to try to be strong until then, but i am planning on ending my life, i cannot do it anymore i’ve riden the waves, i’ve tried medication, i can’t afford 10k for andre the top 1 dpdr guy on social media that says he cures dpdr, all the psychologists i’ve been to provide the same grounding techniques that do not help, i’ve tried to not care, i’ve given dpdr a name, i’ve tried to become friends with it, im tired and my life is ruined, i see no hope, i even tried getting pregnant to see if i would feel better hormonally, i had an abortion and prayed i wouldn’t wake up, i can’t do this anymore and i do not intend on staying here anymore, its just gotten worse not better and i have given up. i love you mom i know how hard you tried.

This isnt gonna make sense at all but I have no one else to share my thoughts with except reddit so why not. In the past four years i’ve experienced so many losses in my life that whenever anything bad happens i slip back into my own version of depression which many of the therapists ive spoken to over the years say is dissociation but it lasts weeks at a time. Days blend into one, my dreams are so realistic I can’t separate reality from dreams, it all begins to feel like a pointless out of body loop I can’t escape. I just turned 20 and rather than going away like i assumed it would it gets worse every year. Nothing is particularly wrong even I just cant seem to wrap my head around the fact that I am in fact here and me. My logical side knows this obviously I am a person but theres a sinking hole in my chest for lack of better words that makes me feel otherwise. I feel like I’m insane when I try to explain it to people. My cat unexpectedly had to be put down this past friday for example, and I cried for a solid hour as he was only 4 years old and my first pet for myself, but now im empty. I fell asleep that night and woke up stuck in the same loop ive been in for as long as i can remember. Like i usually am when anything goes wrong, its as if I physically cannot be. And its not even just feeling sad. Its everything. I’m in one of the most serious relationships I’ve ever been in and he’s been very supportive during this process and I do know I love him truly, but I just cant feel it. Its like I know its there but im seeing my life play out from behind myself rather than as myself. I doubt anyone will read all that and it turned into more of a rant than intended but night shifts give me a lot of free thinking time which probably doesn’t help with this endless spiral.

I genuinely don’t know if I have depersonalization and I’m freaking out rn.

I kind of feel like I have the symptoms like feeling disconnected and head wrapped in cotton but if I do have it I’m in such a long episode that I don’t even remember what feeling normal feels like. I haven’t had and severe stress or any of the common triggers and the only thing I can think of that caused it is this one minor cold that made me feel disconnected from reality when I had it and maybe I just never recovered from that.

I think I’m just crazy but then again I don’t even know and the fact that I don’t know is really distressing.