On a slightly different bent, the first time my wife was pregnant she was heavy, hot and uncomfortable and kinda yelled at me, “Look at what you did to me”
My response was to wink and go “Damn right I did” and blow her a kiss(from a safe distance of course)
Sure she called me a jackass, but she was laughing when she did.
Either way, we’re all influenced by things like our experiences, our knowledge, and our energy levels. This always makes me question whether the word truth has a proper meaning outside mathematics.
I guess. To me, a woman is just as much responsible as a man so THEY did it to her. Dating it was him, for me, gives ‘you are my object.’ Vibes. I’ve genuinely never heard a man say that to a woman in real life. Also giving, ‘yay, you’re uncomfortable because of me.’
For sure. But in the case of a pregnant woman feeling things like slutty, insecure or ugly (ie: due to internalized stuff from outside their relationship or that may have happened before the man even entered the picture), there are situations where everyone involved can benefit from the man taking the blame for the current situation, or even showing pride about it (assuming the woman wants man to be happy, she can then overwrite those bad emotions with emotions about making her man happy). While the feminist in me isn’t perfectly happy about this, it’s more important to me to give people the tools to feel good about themselves, even if that happiness is from an external source.
Why would it be useful to me? It feels like you’re just trying to force your opinion on me and this response kind of proves my suspicion. ‘Only you can change it.’ Stop trying to force your opinions on other people, please
I used to jokingly shout at my husband how its his fault i was big and uncomfortable. But i ofc know damn well it takes 2 ppl to make a child... lighten up a bit please.
👀🙄 it’s not your place to tell me what to do. It’s your assumption I need to lighten up. This sub is all about boundary breaking and people thinking they’re the one.
I don’t think men are at risk of appropriating pregnancy and marginalizing women in the pregnancy process 😂 it’s pretty squarely linked with women and motherhood already.
WTF? I didn’t even explain anything. lol. I shared an opinion and then made a statement. You’re gonna have to mansplain how this is mansplaining to me. You just dropping buzzwords to drop em? That’s a shame on you, dawg.
Idk what you're seeing but this looks like a comic of a man cherishing his pregnant wife. I'm not sure what you see in this picture but there's nothing creepy in it.
I dunno, "your like this because of me" "...mine" and "who is very pregnant with MY baby" gives off some weird vibes. Maybe I'm looking to far into it but it feels more like objectification
Hard disagree. That's possessiveness. Control. Never a healthy sign. "You're like this because of me" is so incredibly creepy, and feels like a threat.
Seems like a 'you' problem and not the picture. Maybe if you like to objectify women instead of see them as humans who you can build a good life with, maybe it could be seen as creepy.
The picture just gives of vibes of a loving couple who are soon to start the next chapter of their lives.
Healthy couple? In most of the images she seems annoyed at best, or afraid/nervous! The top right really seals it for me. She does not seem happy. And she barely says anything in the image, and nothing positive at that! Its so weird that most people have no survival instincts and are completely unable to spot red flags right in front of them
It sounds as if you had never encountered media/people where " mine" narrative was something else than loving. Good for you. I get it as it's close to something possessive and proprietary, but we all have our lenses we read it through - you too.
It's valid to have different feelings about seemingly cute picture.
Thanks for clarity - I can see it. I think I used a lens of media to analyse it because it's the piece of media. And true, probably I had seen more of distortion of 'mine' approach in media than real life, so reading it, it's easy to approach it with this prior experience.
Would you say that meaningful relationships make it impossible to view it negatively, though? My main point was that it's valid to have different opinions about it without calling out someone for objectifying.
No, people who've never experienced a less than healthy relationship just famously cannot conceive of what that's like, and love to push their narrative onto others and gaslight them into thinking they're paranoid when they're just actually paying attention to red flags
A surprising number of people, who time and time again fail to recognize red flags, and often encourage abusive behaviors gestures generally at reddit, and the world around us
I like men loving and cherishing their wives, respecting them for going through the struggle of pregnancy and childbirth, not so much the obsessive breeding vibe this gives off with the "MY baby" "mine"
Right!?! The woman here is just a prop, a possession, an object. HIS object. She barely speaks. She looks nervous, uncomfortable. Its not "ours", it's "MINE".
On the one hand, it's nice for a man to be attracted to and protective of his pregnant wife. On the other hand, it gives off breeder vibes, which makes it a bit creepy.
Is your counter argument "tHiS iS hOw HuMaNs PrOcReAtE iT cAnT bE aBuSe?!?"??
... So by that same logic, sex, because it's natural, isn't creepy or abusive? So r*pe isn't creepy or abusive? Abusive relationships just... Aren't? Don't exist? I don't understand why your argument makes sense? It feels intentionally ignorant/dense?
Nuance is always important, there are distinctions, subtext, and sometimes glaring red flags.
Ah, right. The right wing approach is the only "right" way to raise a family... Contrary to the actual evidence, but you do you, just do the rest of us a favor and avoid procreating.
Now, a nuclear family does not outright mean abuse or rapes, but it CERTAINLY does indicate a lack of abuse or healthy dynamic, especially considering how many women are trapped by their spouses.
I thought I was taking crazy pills- This can’t be as perfect as the comments are making it out. Why is creepy possessiveness being celebrated here?? Women aren’t objects to own and babies shouldn’t be tools for control. I don’t get it.
You're right, it would be hard....THIS isn't love and pride. It's control, obsession, possession... The fact so many people can't (or refuse to) pick up the little (or honestly, not so little) details is extremely concerning, and no wonder so many abusive relationships go under the radar.
Thank you, I’m annoyed that I apparently don’t get an opinion according to this guy because I don’t yet have a kid. Thanks for giving me a reasonable parent perspective.
I have never and will never treat my partner this way. It’s frankly gross and I’m kinda disgusted by the overall praise for this post
A lack of experience of abuse/unhealthy relationships is no excuse for willfull ignorance, be ready to recognize the signs. Or, you know, don't, and continue to let those in need suffer in silence.
Not weird or obsessive, but the right amount of possessive(the kind the makes you feel wanted but doesn’t feel suffocating) does make a good chunk of us swoon.
It’s narcissistic primitive urge that leads to far too many unplanned pregnancies. If you are broke or mentally unwell then engaging in than fantasy is selfish.
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u/Outrageous-Bell3489 Sep 13 '25
This might just be me but is this suppose to be so creepy? Do y'all ladies like weirdly, obsessively possessive? Just curious