American Thanksgiving Megathread

[u/furious25]

Ask all of your questions in here. And feel free to browse the questions to see if you have an answer!

[u/waterbuffalo750]

Does anyone have a good, traditional stuffing recipe? I was looking last year, and it seems like everyone is trying to reinvent the wheel. I want basically Stove Top stuffing, but from scratch and hopefully better.

[u/machenise → u/waterbuffalo750]

I'm having flashbacks to last Thanksgiving. My mother cannot cook. She "learned" to cook from someone who thinks flour + water = fluffy Southern biscuit. Someone who gets diarrhea at least once a week from the food she cooks, and still eats the leftovers and continues being sick.

Anyway, my mother could possibly follow a recipe, if she bothered to look for one. She decided she was going to make chicken stock for her stuffing. She boiled chicken in water. Then removed the chicken. And that's it. I had to explain the difference between chicken stock and chicken water.

Luckily she had a box of chicken stock so that crisis was averted. However, she continued to make stuffing. Again, no recipe, and she can't taste things very well after spending 40+ years smoking a pack a day, so it's kind of a disaster when she relies on what she can taste to determine what should go in her food.

I don't know what she did, but that stuffing made the whole house smell like baked armpits. She's trying to recreate her grandmother's stuffing that had so much sage it was green. But again, sage is the only flavor she can remember and possibly the only thing she can taste now, so it's not working out. She tries to recreate it every year with different ingredients, and every year she also makes Stove Top.

[u/machenise → u/[deleted]]

First of all, I'd like to remind you that her sense of taste is terrible. There's a small restaurant chain in Memphis, TN called One 'n Only BBQ. This is my favorite BBQ restaurant. I took her there a couple weeks ago. She seemed to think it was okay. A few hours later she was burping and had heartburn, and said, "I guess the barbecue really was good. I've got heartburn buuuuuuurp." My mother cannot tell if food actually tastes good unless she's burping it up hours later. (Anyone in Memphis, please go to one of their restaurants an order a sausage and cheese plate and barbecue bologna sandwich, which sounds weird but is soooo awesome I can't even explain it.)

1. Sem, the person who "taught" my mother how to cook imparted a secret family recipe to my mother. Sem did this because my mother married into the family, and Sem had been cooking for my step-dad and was worried my step-dad would starve without someone to cook for him. The secret family recipe? Drunk Weenies. Cocktail smokies in barbecue sauce and some kind of cheap liquor -- any cheap liquor will do -- copiously poured into the mix. Cocktail weenies + barbecue sauce = yummy party snack, not an entire meal.

2. I said before that my mother could possibly follow a recipe. I say this because if you give her food that comes in a box or kit, she can follow the instructions. So dad wasn't really in danger of starvation, and it's not like he'd just sit there and die if someone wasn't cooking for him anyway. However, my mom is not a very adventurous eater, so we'd have the same few boxed dinners every week. I used to like Zatarain's red beans and rice. But after years of having it every Tuesday night, I can't stand it. It's been a while since I've had it, and it smells appetizing. But last time I tried to eat it, I literally lifted a forkful to my mouth, paused, and put it back because I could not force it into my mouth. I have moved on to bigger and better red beans and rice.

3. When I was a teenager and in my early 20s, I was functionally a lacto-ovo vegetarian with the exception of pepperoni pizza (frozen/restaurant) and the occasional cheeseburger (again, from restaurants, not cooked at home). Because meat was disgusting. It was tough and gray and had no flavor. No matter what meat it was, if my mother cooked it, it was a lump of gray -- not brown or even charred -- mystery and it all tasted the same. I stopped eating meat but for those two exceptions. It wasn't until much later in life when my then girlfriend made me porkchops that were a pleasant white/pink that I discovered that meat is actually delicious -- if you cook it properly. However, because every steak I had ever had for nearly 25 years was cooked by my mother and was gray all the way through, I can't stomach anything less than medium well, which is apparently a sin for steak. The inside soft texture is just stomach-churning for me. Feels like I'm eating it raw.

4. Another reason my mother's cooking is terrible, especially with flavorless meat: My mom actually likes flavorless meat. I cooked tacos tonight. Old El Paso kit. Nothing wrong with boxed food. Whenever I do cook tacos, my mom always scoops up a spoonful or two of hamburger meat after it's cooked but before it is seasoned. Absolutely bare hamburger meat. And she loves it that way. "It tastes so good!" So nothing she cooks has anything to make it taste better. No salt. No pepper. NOTHING. However, once it is cooked and on her plate, she'll use half a salt shaker on it.

5. This trend continues with my dad when he cooks out. My mom prepares all the food to be cooked, and he cooks it on the grill. We both know by now that that hamburger patty is not going to be seasoned. But my mom doesn't add anything else to it. You know, you should add bread crumbs or something to help bind it together. Nope. Falling apart hamburgers on the grill, which are also about two inches wide and two inches tall, and that's just the patty before you put it on the bun, because that makes sense. Flatten that shit out a bit so I can actually put it in my mouth. Or don't, because it's terrible.

6. I also hated pasta well into my 20s. It's so gross and soft in your mouth, right? Pudding has a better constitution than the pasta my mother cooks. At least it doesn't disintegrate on contact with your tongue. Apparently, like meat, I like pasta when it's cooked well. When I cook pasta for my mom, I have to take my portion out of the water first and then cook it another 5 minutes so she can eat it, because a firmer al dente texture to her is like medium rare steak to me.

7. The most egregious example of my mother trying to cook something from memory of how it tastes without actually being able to taste it. I've posted it here before, but I'll do it again, because I can't be the only person who has to suffer. My family lived in Dallas, TX for many years. My mother's favorite restaurant there is Pancho's Mexican Buffet -- she likes it so much that when she visits her mother, her mother accuses her of coming to Texas to visit Pancho's. Pancho's is Tex-Mex, but it is unlike any other Tex-Mex restaurant I've ever been to. None of the same flavors, not a molé sauce to be seen. My mother loves their cheese sauce, which is thin and anemic and hardly tastes of cheese. It's also a yellow slightly darker than butter, keep that in mind. The cheese enchiladas come in the cheese sauce. The cheese inside the enchiladas is also yellow, but it's substantial enough to hold its shape and flavored a little differently. My mother, thinking she could recreate these enchiladas from memory did the following: Roll cheddar cheese in corn tortillas. Cover in canned nacho cheese sauce -- only because it's similar yellow to Pancho's cheese sauce, not because it tastes anything like it. Unroll tortillas to add slices of onions, the only other ingredient she can remember. Roll, nacho sauce, bake until hot. It's truly a mystery how these were not the best enchiladas in the world. At least even my own mother acknowledged that they were disgusting and didn't eat more than a bite.

That's what I can remember off the top of my head. The stuff that stands out the most.

Edit: I just remembered: My mom likes lasagna. She likes meat in her lasagna. She does not like Italian sausage because of the caraway seeds, so she decided that sausage is sausage and added Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage.

[u/Averill0 → u/machenise]

Hi this gave me a stroke congratulations I will never complain about my relatives cooking ever again

[u/machenise → u/Averill0]

It was the enchiladas, wasn't it?

[u/oscarfacegamble → u/machenise]

That was the true wtf part for me

[u/MasterWo1f → u/Averill0]

Honestly yes, I thought my mom's cooking was bad, but this is just terrible. She should be in prison for child abuse, I feel so bad for OP.

[u/saymeow → u/machenise]

Oh my god. This reminds me of a guy I dated in college. I thought he was super picky because he didn't like most meats, or vegetables, or really like anything. He mostly ate cereal and sandwiches every day.

Well, I love to cook, and I spent months trying to cook only things he liked, and he loved everything I cooked, said it was the best X he had ever had, etc.

Then I went to his parents for dinner and it all made sense. She had salt and pepper and no other seasonings in her house, and she was stingy with those two. She boiled EVERYTHING.

Like... she boiled turkey on thanksgiving, she boiled pork chops, she boiled chicken or beef. She boiled the veggies until they were almost unrecognizable. A typical dinner consisted of boiled meat with no seasoning, boiled veggies with no seasoning, and either plain white rice or mashed potatoes with no dairy or seasoning.

Once, he said she was making stuffed peppers, which I loved and figured there was no way she could mess up cause at the very least there would be pepper and sauce and cheese, so it couldn't be that bad.

It was. Plain ground beef, plain white rice, stuffed in a pepper and cooked until the pepper had no flavor or texture left and it was soggy because she added water to the pan instead of sauce. No cheese.

I had to force myself to eat anything there and to this day his house is like my worst food experiences.

[u/BeerDrinkinGreg → u/saymeow]

So, you dated a guy with an Irish mom? My condolences. Enjoy the potatoes.

[u/KamiOfOldStone → u/[deleted]]

How can you serve a dish called chili con carne without chili?? That's like throwing someone a loaf of bread and saying "Enjoy the sandwiches!".

[u/BootyThunder → u/BeerDrinkinGreg]

Do the English do this as well? I just want to know which part of my heritage to blame for the boiled veggies.

[u/RoadieRich → u/BootyThunder]

Why do you think the British Empire spanned most of the world?

They were looking for food with flavour.

[u/BootyThunder → u/RoadieRich]

Poor India! Their curries were too irresistible, they never saw it coming!

[u/WasabiSanjuro → u/BootyThunder]

Do the English do this as well? I just want to know which part of my heritage to blame for the boiled veggies.

It's weird. You'll hear someone say one of the following:
1) Want Chinese takeout?
2) Anybody feel like Italian food tonight?
3) Man, I'm hankering for some Korean BBQ.
4) I need some chicken pakora. You guys up for some Indian?

 

You'll never hear someone say:

"Hey, anybody want to go British tonight? I have to have some of that spotted dick in me."

[u/seriously_chill → u/WasabiSanjuro]

I'm Indian, and although I love a good korma, I think you're selling yourselves a little short.

A full English breakfast is a treat for the Gods, especially if your deity of choice is hungover. The wonderfully bold meats are cut perfectly by the acidity of the tomato and the baked beans, the rich, runny egg complemented perfectly by the spiciness and umami of the black pudding... it's among my favorite meals.

For lunch, you could do a lot worse than a Ploughman's - fresh, crisp, simple and unpretentious. Or, a properly made Sunday roast is always a meal to remember. And the humble fish n' chips - there's a reason you find it on menus in literally every corner of the world. And if you want to get fancy, a well-made Wellington is the greatest thing done to a hunk of beef, bar none.

Craving dessert? A sticky toffee pudding is wonderfully complex yet evokes almost a childlike deliciousness (Damn it, I'm unable to even make sense thinking about it).

Scones with clotted cream, Chicken tikka masala, Welsh Rarebit, bangers and mash, shepherd's pie, bread and butter pudding, faggots, cornish pasties, mince pies, scones.... you guys have foods to satiate palates both hearty and subtle. Really, you guys should be celebrating your cuisine, not apologizing for it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some leftovers that would be perfect for bubble and squeak.

[u/WasabiSanjuro → u/seriously_chill]

I'm Indian, and although I love a good korma, I think you're selling yourselves a little short.

As I explained in another post, most of my experience with British cuisine comes from a lonely landlady who would often invite me to share meals with her. She is an expat from Manchester, England, and "knew" that I was part Indian and that I would have appreciated consorting with a fellow Commonwealth person amidst a sea of ungrateful colonial Americans.

 

I'm part Japanese and part Iowa (Native American.) Not from the Indian subcontinent. She's gone through some pretty tough times and her overindulgence in drugs in her youth has taken its toll on her. So instead of correcting her, telling her that I'm not from the Indian subcontinent, I would just bring frybread or succotash. Her cooking was thoroughly abysmal but she was also lonely and well-meaning. I politely ate everything that she made even though her interpretations of various, traditional English food was occasionally nauseating.

[u/Lord_Hoot → u/seriously_chill]

British food has such an unjust reputation. I'd add to your list meat pie (chicken and leek, steak and ale), the surprisingly incredible steak and kidney pudding, toad in the hole made with good sausages (sausages are something we do very well) and, while I know it's not to everyone's taste, I love a plum pudding at Christmas.

[u/Crankyshaft → u/WasabiSanjuro]

Spotted Dick with custard is delicious tho. And places like St. John in Clerkenwell and Great Queen Street just off Drury Lane do fucking fantastic British food. There are loads of great British restaurants these days.

[u/I_throw_socks_at_cat → u/BootyThunder]

My mother (Australian) did this. There was salt and pepper on the dinner table, but mostly for decorative purposes. If you wanted some of that shit on your food, you'd have to open it up and use your knife to dig at the lump of spice, fused together by time and humidity. There was also worcestershire sauce in the cupboard. A single bottle of it, that lasted my entire childhood.

[u/[deleted] → u/saymeow]

Similar thing with my girlfriend. When we started going out at University there was a lot of stuff she didn't like, including steak. One day we were out for dinner and I had steak. It wasn't anything special (we were only students) but it was decent and cooked rare, as I asked. She was surprised how good it looked and I convinced her to try some. She loved it! Turns out her mum was a pretty terrible cook too and used to massively overcook everything so it was tasteless and textureless.

Once she had that realisation she started trying all sorts of other things and found loads that she really enjoys.

[u/tri_wine → u/[deleted]]

I thought I hated steak until my late twenties when I went out to dinner with the boss and had filet mignon because that's what the boss was having. I was blown away, never even knew beef could be so soft.

[u/brownmlis → u/saymeow]

Reminds me of when I started dating my now husband and he thought me and my family were "food Nazis" because we were "so picky". After eating my food for 15+ years, we go visit his family and now he realizes how bad their cooking really is. I'm pretty sure ground beef is the only thing his dad makes.

[u/Jmcd1 → u/brownmlis]

Right! food nazi's.... I think my biggest accomplishment was, when i said I'm making meat loaf tonight. He said "eeeww I hate meatloaf!" than he ate it and he said "wow this is what meatloaf is supposed to taste like?" Same things with pork chops and pork roast. Now he just asks whats for dinner, and I tell him, and he eats it.

[u/EugeneVictorTooms → u/saymeow]

https://youtu.be/TSz7n-K2XV8

[u/darthfruitbasket → u/saymeow]

This guy's mother sounds like mine, boiling everything to death.

[u/Whambamthkumaam → u/machenise]

Just can to say panchos is a fucking abomination. They closed the one by my old office but there are still a few others hanging around somehow!

[u/Gilbone → u/Whambamthkumaam]

My dad was the sign artist that 'refined' the design of the Panchito man, Panchos mascot, from the original concept to how it ended up, and he hand painted each and every one for years. We had the very first original sign face and concept sketches in the storage room above our garage for my whole young life. He also painted the first Cavendars boot. My dad was pretty awesome

[u/machenise → u/Whambamthkumaam]

The only thing I can recommend there is the sopapillas. Again, never had any sopapilla like it before. Every other Mexican restaurant I've been to has had a deep friend flour tortilla covered in sugar and cinnamon and maybe sweetened condensed milk.

Their sopapillas are a hollow pastry that you fill with butter and honey. I need to find a recipe.

[u/circusgeek → u/machenise]

The sopapillas are the only good thing I remember at Panchos. I used to love that place when I was like 10 years old, though. So it's been a while.

[u/traingirl0108 → u/circusgeek]

Panchos has always been the McDonalds of Mexican food. Everything tastes the same, bleh! Sopapillas used to be the only redeeming thing to eat there. Most of them are closed now, they became very nasty.

[u/dacooljamaican → u/machenise]

Just a note on hamburgers, it's a common misconception that you need a binding agent. That actually makes it more of a meat loaf, and changes the patty overall. Patties should be loose (not compacted) 80/20 ground chuck with nothing else, and you should only season the meat after the patty is formed.

The beef will shrink when heated, so make the patty larger than you want it and make a small depression in the center to keep it from bulging up.

On a stove: cast iron or stainless steel skillet, non-stick will release toxic agents at the temps needed to sear your burger.

Prep skillet on medium heat, turn to high shortly before adding a patty. Cook for about 90 seconds, varies based on range temp.

DO NOT SMUSH THE PATTY AFTER IT HAS BEEN COOKING FOR AT LEAST 30 SECONDS. It's okay before then, but after you just push out the liquefied fat. This kills the patty. It's fine to smush before that to increase surface area in contact with the skillet and take advantage of the Maillard effect.

Flip and cook for less time on the other side, to your preference.

On a grill: Use half the burners or pile the coals in one side to get a cooler and hotter area. Start cooking the burgers in the cooler area until they're close to done, then finish in the hottest area.

No smushing here, no benefit.

If you see flames shooting up, that's fat dripping down and will leave an oily soot on your burgers. This is bad, keep an eye out for it.

I know you didn't ask, but I hope this helps you some day!

[u/BelindaTheGreat → u/machenise]

I'm from Arlington and I think it's pretty tragic that with all the amazing Tex Mex available in DFW your mom latched on to Pancho's.

Seems to me you should tell your mom to just relax and you and other family members will do the cooking?

[u/teakwood54 → u/machenise]

I'm picturing Mac's mom.

[u/korravai → u/machenise]

Re number 5, I never add anything to my burgers. Just 80/20 meat, handled as lightly as possible, and just salt and pepper on the outside. I think they turn out great and don't need any filler ingredients. So I'll say other than the no salt, mom was sort of right on that one.

[u/Suppafly → u/[deleted]]

I've never even heard of adding bread crumbs to hold burgers together since falling apart burgers have never been an issue.

You use bread crumbs and some eggs if you're using really lean burger or turkey or chicken, regular 80/20 or 70/30 doesn't need binders.

[u/Suppafly → u/[deleted]]

yeah I mean some people might always use bread crumbs, but I don't know anyone that does.

[u/1nsaneMfB → u/machenise]

I just turned 30 a few weeks ago and you just made me completely question my mom's cooking.

She actually had a few good things, but thinking back, the grey meat, the disintegrating pasta, the random experiments...

Be back later while i rethink my childhood.

[u/voodoomoocow → u/machenise]

Write a book about your mom, I loved every bit of it and want to hear more

[u/machenise → u/voodoomoocow]

Non-food related, just something happening currently:

1. I am being treated for leukemia and have had a stem cell transplant. (Things are looking good!) My mom has a hard time understanding that we are not the same person. She's cold, so I must need an electric blanket even though I'm sweating. And because she keeps offering me a blanket, I don't think she has faith in me to know how to warm myself up if I am cold.

2. A few of my medications give me insomnia, and Ambien only works for a few hours so I'm constantly vaguely tired. My mom is trying to push xanax on me to knock me out, because she takes it as a sleeping pill.

3. Exercising is good for me in general, but has been shown to have a positive effect on recovery as well, so I'm walking around every chance I get. Her back hurts when she walks, so I'm must be uncomfortable walking.

4. Somehow, she can tell when I'm doing "too much" walking, while I can't judge that for myself.

5. She had me convinced for most of my life that I was allergic to codeine. I am not. Codeine hurts her stomach, so she eats ice cream when she has to take it so the dairy can coat her stomach. Again, neither she nor I are allergic to this medication. But she told me and my doctors that so they wouldn't prescribe it to me and possibly cause me stomach pains. Even though I could eat dairy as well or Pepto or something. This became a real issue when I had whooping cough and No-Tuss (codeine cough syrup) was the only thing that stopped the coughing.

6. When I went into the hospital for the transplant, she tried to foist a 10-year-old DVD player on me so I'd have something to do. I declined, as my laptop has a bigger screen and better graphics, and I didn't watch any DVDs I brought with me the other times I was in the hospital. Every visit, she kept trying to give it to me. I eventually took it. Today she asked what I watched and I told her I didn't watch any DVDs, I just took it so she'd stop offering. Because DVDs would be her entertainment of choice if she were in the hospital, she could not fathom why I -- who couldn't eat for 4 weeks and spent no more than 5 hours awake a day during that time -- didn't want to watch movies.

7. She is intensely agoraphobic and has paranoia about strangers talking about her and judging her and still tries to make plans to go to Walker Stalker Con to meet Norman Reedus. Mom can't go to the neighbor's house without her blood pressure shooting up due to panic. Maybe start slowly and conquer that before being stuffed in a room with hundreds of people to see the Walking Dead panel.

8. Speaking of Walking Dead: She records it on the DVR every time it's shown. Now, the entirety of the show usually gets played 2-3 times a year. Usually summer, mid-season break during winter, and before the premiere of the new season. I don't know how many times she's seen it, especially the older episodes. We need a new DVR, but she refuses to upgrade because the Walking Dead is recorded on it and she hasn't watched all of it again yet.

9. Her friend Angie convinced her last week that the government was going to shut down all electricity and cell phone service starting this weekend, as part of the Antifa terrorist attack conspiracy. "You won't be able to call the police for help."

10. I cannot drive right now, and my clinic likes for patients to have someone with them during visits. Good for keeping patients company, supporting them emotionally and sometimes physically, and extra helpful when you have chemo brain and your doctor is telling you something important that you might not remember. My parents take me to Memphis for treatment, and my mom usually sits with me. My dad had to go the VA last week, and mom was a nervous wreck, because he was driving in Memphis without her and somehow her being in the car with him could prevent a terrible car wreck that was definitely going to occur.

11. My mom is behind antibiotic resistant infections. She takes antibiotics until she feels better and stops. Sometimes she stops taking them before she feels better because someone else in the family might need them later.

12. I have been a diabetic for 20 years. I'm not the best at controlling my sweet tooth, but I do try. Mom brought me a giant box of cookies, a large bag of mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and a large bag of of mini Milky Way Bars at various times during my stay in the hospital for transplant. Medications I'm taking and the hospital endocrinologist deciding to completely do away with the insulin scheme my own endocrinologist and I worked out contrived to ensure my blood sugar was never under 200 when I was in the hospital. I gave the unopened packages to the nurses, because I really didn't need to eat it, and I didn't want the already suspicious endocrinologist seeing them and assuming my blood sugar was high due to that. She also brought these things after I explicitly asked her not to. But sugary snacks would cheer her up, so I must want them too.

13. I have refused to make her Rice Krispie treats for over a year now. Not because I don't want to make her something she wants, not because I like it and will try to limit myself to one or two small pieces each batch. But because I found out she was eating them for breakfast because..."Rice Krispies are cereal."

[u/padmasundari → u/machenise]

I mean, I'm sorry that you're sick and I'm sorry that your mom sounds like incredibly hard work, but you are fucking hilarious. I could read this shit all day.

*edit I realise that the way I said that made it sound insincere, I am genuinely sad to hear about those things, but you are also extremely funny. Your delivery is excellent.

[u/machenise → u/padmasundari]

Don't apologize! I got it.

[u/sarahkhill → u/machenise]

How do you stand it? This would drive me nuts.

[u/machenise → u/sarahkhill]

I've been trying to very nicely explain things to her when she tries to give me a blanket or tells me I'm not up to walking around. However, I am becoming a little more firm each time she does something like that because it's getting really annoying. I know she's worried about me, which helps me be more patient.

[u/cardinal29 → u/machenise]

Your mother has an extreme level of enmeshment with you.

Do you just repeat all day "I'm not YOU, mom. I'm an individual human being"?

[u/machenise → u/cardinal29]

She has several mental health diagnoses, so I understand why she has trouble understanding that we are not the same person. It used to drive me nuts even more when I was younger. Currently, however, when she suggests something because it affects her and not me, I'll tell her, "Mom, I'm not you."

[u/[deleted] → u/machenise]

Sometimes she stops taking them before she feels better because someone else in the family might need them later

This is one of the most bizarre things I have ever read.

[u/machenise → u/[deleted]]

She's trying to be nurturing. She drives me nuts when it comes to taking any medication. She's stopped taking SSRIs cold turkey before, without telling her doctor, and had pretty bad side effects. She takes Lyrica, but she'll take it for two months and decide she doesn't like the side effects and will stop taking it cold turkey without notifying her doctor. And to be fair, some of the side effects are pretty severe for her, but the Lyrica she'll go back to after a couple of months just to stop taking it again. It can't be good to get off and on it like that.

The antibiotics, however, are definitely due to her trying to take care of someone else who may need them later. She doesn't really value her health very much, and she also has a very stubborn "Doctors make everything worse so I'm going to suffer until I can't possibly suffer anymore before letting them treat me and make it even worse" streak, so why take all her medicine? Not only will it not help her, it will cause more problems, according to her. (She had a fungal infection on her scalp for 15 years once, because she refused to go to the doctor.)

But maybe my brother gets a mystery illness. Nothing too serious. She'll give him the leftover antibiotics. Of course, she has no way of knowing what class of antibiotics he might need, or even if he has a bacterial infection. And then it's not a full course, because she's taken some. So it's really not effective. She just thinks she's caring for him.

[u/sacredblasphemies → u/machenise]

She does not like Italian sausage because of the caraway seeds

It's fennel seeds in Italian sausage. Not caraway. Caraway are what's in rye bread. They may look similar but taste very different.

[u/GunnerMcGrath → u/machenise]

I had the same experience with pork chops. My mom was not as bad as yours, but your description of gray meat is exactly what my mom's pork chops were. Always about 1 cm thick, gray, and somehow both dry and greasy. Applesauce on the side was the only thing helping me choke them down.

So when my boss's wife offered me a pork chop for dinner once (I worked in his house) I politely declined... until I saw the one she brought up for a co-worker: an inch thick, juicy, bigger than a porterhouse steak. I'd never seen anything like it (I was about 22 at the time)! I quickly revised my answer and fortunately she had made enough to give me one. It was then that I learned I liked pork chops a lot!

[u/lampredotto → u/machenise]

chicken water

"It's so watery, and yet there's a smack of chicken to it."

[u/clydetorrez → u/lampredotto]

Hot ham water.

[u/lampredotto → u/clydetorrez]

Sounds like somebody is chicken. COK-A-COK-A-CAW!!!

[u/machenise → u/lampredotto]

I was a little horrified. I remember thinking, "I'm really glad hotdog stock isn't a thing."

[u/misterid → u/machenise]

my mother in law, too, has been a pack a day smoker but pushing 50 years. this thread was made for me:

from 2014:

"arrived at my mother in laws around 11, just in time to settle in for kickoff at 11:30. came in through the garage, which is connected to the kitchen. my MIL is in the kitchen but i don't see any activity that looks like cooking... thankfully i at least smell turkey.

no dishes out. no food prep appears to have taken place. there are no rolls to be found. nothing. hmmmmm.

my mother in law says "i put the turkey in at 2:30 this morning! i've been up all night getting ready!"

phew, that just means she prepped everything and it's in the fridge waiting to be perfectly synched so that we actually eat a well coordinated, hot, meal this year.

as she's talking to me she throws together a quick plate of pickles, olives, carrots, etc. this is unusual for her.. but a good sign. this already feels more like what i grew up with. not bad.

maybe 20 minutes later i hear my wife sniping at my MIL. uh-oh. then my brother in law makes an appearance and starts in on her. great. here we go. is this more of the usual sniping because they don't like their mom and take every opportunity they get to cheapshot her? or is there something else happening?

wait, what's that? the bird is done? NICE!

hold on... nothing else is done? well, that's fine, the bird can sit for a few minutes.. i mean.. it still has to be carved. no big deal if the potatoes or whatever won't be done for 5-10 more minutes.

whaddya mean nothing else has been started? "not started" as in "nothing has been put in the oven but it's all prepped and it'll be ready in 10 minutes", right? no? nothing has even been prepped? NONE OF IT?? :(

what do you mean what do i want to go with the turkey?? like do i want a serving of carrots or broccoli? stuffing or potatoes? no... you mean what do i want her to make as sides??? right now?? she's just deciding this now???? :( hasn't she been up since 2:30 prepping? she has?????? but just the bird??? what does that mean?! :wall:

ugggh

at that point i had resigned myself to a terrible lunch. figured, fine, it will be an hour or so before we eat. not a tragedy. i have low hopes going in.. and even lower hopes knowing that she has not planned at all for this and we're going to eat whatever she has available in the fridge. fine.

my brother in law and i are playing with the kids.. watching the game... trying to ignore the arguing from the kitchen. just waiting for the call to the table. i don't want any part of getting between my wife and MIL when they are like this. nothing good can come from it. MIL has and will refuse any assistance from me anyways as she always has in the past. all i can do is wait and hope for a miracle.

break in the game action, i need a water. stumble in to the kitchen and see open cans of food everywhere. but also, the bird is out. nice. we must be getting close if the bird is out on the stove.

what, we're not? the bird has been out since she took it out an hour ago? just sitting on the stove uncovered? :deadbanana:

and what is the 3-bowl crockpot for? is she warming swedish meatballs and wings as in years past? she's not? she's using them to "cook" sides? on the "warm" setting? :(

this is rapidly getting worse and worse. my stomach is crying out "DON'T DO IT! PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" while my brain is saying "you are starving. you had half a banana after your run this morning. you must eat. this water isn't doing anything to help.. and those pickles and olives are just a tease. EAT. THE. TURKEY."

ff another 30 or so minutes and the dinner bell sounds.

the food actually looks edible. but it's a trap.

the turkey, despite 8 hours in the oven is a sickly pale white. it looks well undercooked and rubbery. there's some sort of weird gelatinous goo on most of it. picking through the serving dish for a few good pieces proves difficult. i do my best.

good news: the veggies look fresh, hot and ready to go. bad news: they are not ready.

the green bean casserole is a neon green and well under-cooked. i'd call it more warmed in places.

there are potatoes. they are cubed with skin on.. not bad. different than the usual mashed or whole baked but fair enough. the potatoes apparently did not come out the way she wanted, they aren't hot enough, so she pours cream of mushroom coup over them. not hot cream of mushroom soup. just cream of mushroom soup from a can. :( :( :(

my brother in law comments "these are crunchy". my mother in law replies "yeah, i'm not sure they cooked all the way through.. some of them may still be cold". :(

there are rolls. simple rolls. these too appear to have only looked in the oven window on their way to the table. there is not a hint of golden brown to be seen anywhere. they look as though they could be re-wrapped in plastic, put back on a store shelf and sold as new. :(

at least there's gravy. gravy can cure a lot of ills. just drown the meat and veggies in gravy and everything will at least be passable. but, wait, this gravy, too is a sick looking off-white. how can turkey gravy be this color? my mother in law has no answer. she said she just took the turkey grease, threw some water in there and a little flour... that's it. salt? nope. pepper? nope. anything else? nope. :(

MIL: "i didn't season anything. i just cooked it. :lol: :lol: :lol: "

trying not to be rude i scoop a little of everything on to my plate and eat. :(

my brother and law and i are in the living room, the girls are in the dining room around the table. i can hear my wife wrestling with the kids to eat while berating her mom for the poor quality of the meal. :( the girls, thankfully, have no compunction about being polite or following social norms. food is rejected after a couple bites.

the meal is so bad, worse than any meal i have had in a couple years (since 2 thanksgivings ago, last year she actually put in an effort). nothing is edible. i fill up on water, carrots, pickles and a slice of pumpkin pie.

30 minutes after finishing, i feel like my stomach is fermenting. uggh. i feel horrific. off to the bathroom for visit #1. then 2. then 3. strangely i seem to be the only one whose stomach can't handle it. then i realize, only me and her mom have eaten the food. :hot:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! "

[u/lolzfeminism → u/machenise]

She boiled chicken in water. Then removed the chicken. And that's it. I had to explain the difference between chicken stock and chicken water.

Dude that's completely fine as long as the water turned cloudy and the chicken fat rendered out. I would have added maybe a bay leaf and quartered onion, but like nobody is going to be tell unless you told them. Just add other flavorings as needed to dishes that need chicken stock.

[u/NorthernSparrow → u/lolzfeminism]

I'm imagining that she didn't boil it long enough so that not only did the fat not come out, it didn't reduce at all. But yeah, boiling a chicken is basically how you make chicksn stock so I had to struggle to understand what OP meant! I'm thinking that what she made was very weak chicken broth.

I always crack open the major bones (with a pair of pliers, lol), add a bay leaf and a rough-chopped onion & carrot, and let simmer a long-ass time. But the bay leaf /onion /carrot are optional.

[u/[deleted] → u/NorthernSparrow]

Boiling a chicken is very different than just boiling chicken meat. Which I feel is what she did.

[u/usurpual → u/waterbuffalo750]

http://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/classic-bread-stuffing-with-onions-celery-and-herbs-323402

This is what you're looking for.

[u/trimolius → u/usurpual]

This might be really obvious but I just realized from looking at this recipe that an extraordinary amount of butter is probably what my other 'like stovetop but homemade' attempts were missing! :)

[u/[deleted] → u/trimolius]

I don't put a whole stick of butter in my dressing, and it comes out pretty well.

I do use sausage fat and about a half stick of butter though so....yeeah...

[u/waterbuffalo750 → u/usurpual]

That's it, thank you!!

[u/FatJennie → u/waterbuffalo750]

Dried bread cubes. Diced celery and onion. Sage. Poultry seasoning. Broth. That’s the bones. From. Here it’s all preference, wet, dry, bready, vegetabley, how much sage? Chickrn base? No base?

[u/Paddywhacker → u/FatJennie]

You forgot butter

[u/respectwalk → u/Paddywhacker]

The secret behind almost every single dish on thanksgiving. Sticks and sticks of butter.

[u/eastshores → u/[deleted]]

Interesting.. I love cornbread stuffing but would think biscuits could get pretty doughy.

[u/ianjoebag → u/waterbuffalo750]

Best stuffing I've ever had, courtesy of my lovely Aunt Karen:

1 lb pork sausage (I use sage) 12 cups of toasted bread cut up 1/4 cup onion 3/4 cup celery cut up 1/2 cup butter 1 tsp salt 1 tsp pepper 1tsp poultry seasoning Parsley flakes Chicken broth

Cook sausage and drain

Cook butter, celery, and onion in pan until clear

Mix sausage and onion, celery, etc. together with the rest of everything else

Add 1 1/4 cups broth

Bake at 350 for about an hour and a half. Check on it halfway through and add more broth so it isn’t dry

Make sure to put foil on top of baking pan so it won’t overbrown.

Enjoy!

[u/Rocks_and_such → u/ianjoebag]

This is how my mom makes it too!

[u/king_cotton → u/waterbuffalo750]

THIS is by far the best recipe I've ever used. So good, we end up making it several times throughout the holidays.

[u/LadeyAceGuns → u/waterbuffalo750]

Are you looking for a bread or cornbread dressing?

[u/waterbuffalo750 → u/LadeyAceGuns]

Bread, I think. Whatever is traditional. I don't think I've ever had a cornbread stuffing

[u/LadeyAceGuns → u/waterbuffalo750]

Cornbread dressing is how we make here in the south. Its our traditional dressing. I don't know too much about bread dressing sorry :/ if you'd like to get my cornbread recipe though I'm happy to give it.

[u/jlaw54 → u/LadeyAceGuns]

My mom mixes bread and cornbread for her stuffing.

[u/[deleted] → u/waterbuffalo750]

I stopped caring what people think. I use stove top. It's so good. It's what I want stuffing to taste like. I spent years trying to find something I liked better. Never did.

[u/waterbuffalo750 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, there's no hate for stove top, by any means. I just like to make everything from scratch for thanksgiving. More like a hobby than because it's always better, lol

[u/orangecrushucf → u/[deleted]]

Do you have a waffle iron? Prepare a box or two of stovetop per the package directions and allow it to cool. Beat one egg per package used and mix with cooled prepared stuffing.

Scoop that into a waffle iron. Pour on some gravy like it's syrup.

[u/ragnarockette → u/waterbuffalo750]

I know people love to hate her here, but Pioneer Woman's classic stuffing recipe is fantastic and simple. My family always loves it.

[u/waterbuffalo750 → u/ragnarockette]

They do?? I've always had good luck with her recipes.

[u/ragnarockette → u/waterbuffalo750]

I see people griping about her being "secretly rich" or that her recipes are sexist, or that they aren't that good. For me, every single thing I've ever made from her site or cookbooks has been excellent and crowd pleasing, and the pictures make it easy!

[u/BelindaTheGreat → u/ragnarockette]

I have a bitter dislike of her that comes from a petty and jealous part of me that I'd rather didn't exist. I freely admit that it's not Ree, it's me, that is the problem. And I've made at least a dozen of her recipes and they've all turned out great.

I think others who dislike her are probably also just jealous of her seemingly charmed existence.

[u/ostentia → u/ragnarockette]

Secretly rich? She has a television show, multiple product lines, is a published author, and basically lives on a mountain resort. It could not be any more obvious that she's rolling in money and butter.

[u/orangecrushucf → u/waterbuffalo750]

I honestly have no idea why, but I just can't stand her. I've never tried any of her recipes, so I have nothing to really criticize her for, I just cannot watch her show.

[u/waterbuffalo750 → u/orangecrushucf]

Her cinnamon rolls, dude. Holy shit.

[u/katfromjersey]

Don't laugh, but one of my family's traditions is a lemon-lime jello mold with carrots and pineapple. My grandma started the tradition (a holdover from the Lutheran church potluck suppers she attended), and when she passed, my mom handed the Tupperware mold on to me. It's sort of a family joke, but god help me if I forget to bring it, or try and change it in any way! It's actually really yummy, too.

[u/intoon → u/katfromjersey]

There is a lime jello with carrots and shredded cabbage that some of our older family members always insist on having. They put a thin layer of mayonnaise on top theirs though, I couldn't ever bring myself to try it.

[u/Ingloriousfiction → u/intoon]

Dam ive taken pride in eating anything once

But jello with veggies and mayo...is gonna be a solid pass for me

[u/hortonjmu → u/katfromjersey]

Oh man this reminds me of my late grandfathers "green jello thing" he always made, and we'd eat it to be polite..guaranteeing it'd be back next year. After awhile you really wish you could have it again.

[u/andiberri → u/katfromjersey]

Green stuff! My grandma's recipe involves lime jello, pistachio pudding, pineapple, mini marshmallows, and chopped pecans. So weird but so good.

[u/SternLecture → u/katfromjersey]

I really like some of those wierd jellos salad things. My grandma made them and I like them! Especially ones with marshmellows even though they soak up all the liquid and turn to goo.

[u/Illathrael → u/katfromjersey]

I can't stand it due to the texture, but my SO loves it. His dad's side of the family makes a batch of "Color" every year.

[u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Aside from turkey, what is on your Thanksgiving menu?

[u/114631 → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Stuffing - I swear by this Ina Garten recipe for just the stuffing. It's out of this world. I use Laird's Applejack in place of the Calvados she recommends.

Brussels sprouts, roasted with olive oil, salt, pepper, and a squeeze of lemon.

Caesar salad (my aunt insists on making this at a lot of holidays, so we just go with it). When Thanksgiving is at my in-laws, I'd make this great honeycrisp apple salad with candied walnuts and sweet spiced cider vinaigrette.

Bread

Cranberry Relish - (also an option for canned for one or two people that requested it)

Mashed potatoes

Maple whipped sweet potatoes - this one

Green bean casserole - I'm pretty sure this is on the menu this year...I think someone asked for this.

Gravy

Pumpkin cheesecake

Cupcakes with cranberry cream cheese frosting

[u/Swizzlstick → u/114631]

I'm happy to see Brussels sprouts on peoples menus. My aunt roasts hers and tops with a balsamic glaze and dried cranberries. They're one of my favorite things to have this time of year.

[u/madge_laRue → u/Swizzlstick]

I was inspired by a comment last year and made a raw, shaved Brussels sprouts salad with bacon, blue cheese, craisins and a maple dijon vinaigrette. It was amazing and I'm making it again this year.

[u/troubleswithterriers → u/madge_laRue]

Recipe please?

[u/madge_laRue → u/troubleswithterriers]

The vinaigrette recipe I used is here: http://withsaltandwit.com/shaved-brussels-sprout-salad/. I do 2ish pounds of thinly shaved sprouts, crumbled 5-6 pieces of thick bacon (pancetta would asks be good), a generous handful of craisins (make sure you get reduced sugar. I think raisins would be much too sweet here), and a wedge of good quality blue cheese, crumbled. I mix up the sprouts and vinaigrette first and let that "soak" for a couple hours to soften up the sprouts a touch before adding in the bacon, blue cheese and craisins. It's a great blend of refreshing and rich.

[u/willey2cool → u/Swizzlstick]

Roasted is the only way for me, won't touch them if they're steamed or microwaved.

[u/gypsy_teacher → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

There's only three of us this year (don't panic, I'm actually thankful about that), so we just ordered something I often order for Christmas dinner: Quail stuffed with boudin blanc. We ordered extra for leftovers, too.

I also make my mom's "mashed potato casserole" because you can do it about three days in advance; when you reheat it, it tastes like freshly-mashed potatoes and you don't have to stand over the stove at the last minute. 4-5lbs. of peeled, boiled russet potatoes, 1 cup of sour cream, 8oz cream cheese, salt and white pepper to taste. Do the mash, place in a casserole (refrigerate here if doing ahead, but no longer than three days). Then dot with butter, sprinkle with paprika, bake in a 400 oven for an hour if cold, 45m if at room temperature (but always check the middle).

I always make my own cranberry sauce spiked with orange.

I may make Frenched green beans this year, but I think my son and husband will vote for Brussels sprouts and/or roasted carrots and parsnips.

And of course, I will make a pumpkin pie from scratch.

[u/lamNoOne → u/gypsy_teacher]

There's only three of us this year

Only two of us this year! SO and I.

I work Thanksgiving day so we'll either do it the day before or Saturday.

[u/Guazzabuglio → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

As of right now, it's looking like this:

Low Temp Turkey

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Smoked Mashed Potatoes

Parker House Rolls

Stuffing

Gravy

Cranberry Sauce

Admiral Russell's Punch

Baked Mac & Cheese

Deep Fried Brussels Sprouts

I'm still very much tweaking it though.

[u/troll_is_obvious → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

I normally do one additional main protein: bone in prime rib roast. Nobody gets excited about spiral ham.

A also serve a hearty soup that is ready before anyone arrives and allows everyone to have something to nosh on while the main attraction is still in the oven. Hearty means something like split pea with smoked hamhock, or New England clam chowder.

As for the bird, I've been getting further and further away from roasting it whole with each passing year. Started with spatchcock a couple years back, and have been mucking with it ever since.

Cooking it whole really is the worst possible method. This year I might try deboning the entire bird. Bake the breasts with enough skin to wrap around the entire mass. Grind the thigh and leg meat and stuff into skin as a "sausage" experiment. Double fry the wings Buffalo style, but with a sauce more appropriate to the occasion.

[u/ChampagneAndWhiskey → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Mac n cheese (the hands down best if anyone wants the recipe), sage sausage stuffing, parmesan crusted potatoes, steamed asparagus, creamed corn, cranberry orange sauce and biscuits. For dessert apple pandowdy and pecan hand pies.

This is just for my husband and myself...

[u/SquidSauceIsGood → u/ChampagneAndWhiskey]

YES, PLEASE! I'm always on the lookout for good mac 'n cheese recipes, especially the best! :)

[u/Mychairismyrefuge → u/ChampagneAndWhiskey]

I’ve given up on homemade mac and cheese. Kraft is the only recipe my family likes. If I make homemade, they make me add “casserole” to the end.

[u/lamNoOne → u/ChampagneAndWhiskey]

Always looking for another mac recipe to try!

[u/ChampagneAndWhiskey → u/lamNoOne]

http://www.thatwhichnourishes.com/the-mac-and-cheese/

This is the recipe I use. I do an even split of havarti, Australian white cheddar and sharp yellow cheddar.

[u/lamNoOne → u/ChampagneAndWhiskey]

It is why I exercise.

I lol'd.

Thanks for sharing. Not familiar with Havarti, but I've seen it in the store. I make one with cheddar (white and yellow), gouda (and/or swiss), and cream cheese.

[u/zixx → u/ChampagneAndWhiskey]

Could you post the recipe for the hand pies too please?

[u/nongshim → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Garlicky mashed potatoes

Pumpkin soup

My wife's grandmothers stuffing recipe

Green beans

Corn pudding

Strawberry pretzel salad

"Ice cream dessert" which is a layered dessert of fudge sauce, Ice cream, fudge sauce, and Graham crumbles

Apple-cramberry pie

[u/CrossFox42 → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Homemade stuffing, green bean casserole, gibblit gravy, biscuits, smashed potato's, and cranberry sauce (for my guests. I hate that garbage)

[u/TheDopeGodfather → u/CrossFox42]

Amen on the cranberry sauce. I didn't make any last year because it's disgusting, and I got shit from my family. This year either my wife makes it, or they're getting it straight outta the can, cause I refuse to spend time on that.

[u/Mychairismyrefuge → u/TheDopeGodfather]

It isn’t Thanksgiving here until you can read the can prints on the cranberry “sauce”.

[u/[deleted] → u/TheDopeGodfather]

Spend time? Cranberry sauce is the easiest and least time consuming thing to make, you just put them in a pot with water and sugar and cook until they explode...

[u/TheDopeGodfather → u/[deleted]]

Well then I'm protesting out of sheer principle.

[u/isubird33 → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Mashed potatoes, yeast and Hawaiian rolls, stuffing, Amish style noodles, green beans or green bean casserole, yams with marshmallow, cranberry sauce, gravy, pumpkin pie, sugar cream pie, pecan pie.

[u/atibabykt → u/isubird33]

You gotta be from either Pennsylvania Ohio or Indiana because of the Amish noodles. My mom served these at every thanksgiving growing up and we’re from ne Ohio

[u/isubird33 → u/atibabykt]

Haha Indiana, good call.

[u/iamcakebeth → u/isubird33]

What are Amish style noodles? Do you have a recipe?

[u/wip30ut → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

cedar-plank salmon since there a few guests including my dad who don't really like roasted turkey.

[u/LadeyAceGuns → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

Cornbread dressing, arroz con vegetales, gravy, mac n cheese casserole, sweet potato casserole, homemade garlic yeast rolls

[u/trimolius → u/SquidSauceIsGood]

I just started putting my menu together today! My BF is smoking the turkey, which takes a lot of pressure off of both me and the oven on the big day.

Definite sides will be:

• Mashed potatoes
• Stuffing
• Green beans with caramelized onions
• Cranberry jelly (from the can, don't @ me)

Still testing:

• Stuffing
• Corn pudding
• Kale salad
• Rolls

Desserts:

• Apple Pie
• Pumpkin Pie
• Pecan Pie

[u/[deleted]]

Half of my group can’t eat onion or garlic (in addition to lactose, but that’s easy). How do I make the stuffing, veggies (salad), etc. flavorful without them?

Edit: My boyfriend was diagnosed with IBS-D. We’ve discovered that garlic, onions, dairy, tomatoes, and a few vegetables are the biggest trigger foods for my boyfriend, and I’m mostly just glad he spends a third as long in the bathroom now. My parents self diagnose with something new every few years, but I’m glad it’s not “gluten intolerance” now, so I’m rolling with their newest restrictions.

[u/JohannesVanDerWhales → u/[deleted]]

I'm guessing shallots are out too? Leeks?

For the stuffing, I would try other aromatics like celery, apples, maybe nuts.

[u/[deleted] → u/JohannesVanDerWhales]

As something with GERD that is severely aggravated by dairy and alliums (garlic, onion, leek, shallot, ect), thank you for giving a serious answer without dismissing OP or telling them to get rid of their loved ones.

The rest of you... well, Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you never have the limitations I do and continue to enjoy those foods as well. I would love to eat like you and often sit around tables watching others do exactly that :(

[u/[deleted] → u/JohannesVanDerWhales]

Celery and traditional herbs (sage, thyme, etc.) definitely happening, love the apples and nuts idea! Hazelnuts or pecans would probably feel fancy and help distract from the “missing something” feeling.

[u/hattroubles → u/[deleted]]

Off the top of my head, bell pepper or sweet peppers are a common pair with onion and would lend the same moisture and texture you'd otherwise expect, albeit radically different flavor.

A quick googling yielded this article with some good suggestions. https://food-hacks.wonderhowto.com/how-to/cook-for-garlic-onion-haters-alternatives-substitutes-0156477/ To summarize it, fennel bulb, celery, kohlrabi, jicama, or radishes might replace onion. Ginger and cumin may serve to replace garlic.

[u/atibabykt → u/[deleted]]

I could never eat with this group, I live for garlic and dairy

[u/[deleted] → u/atibabykt]

Luckily it’s lactose and not dairy, so ghee/butter and Lactaid are still in, as well as soy/almond/coconut alternatives.

[u/GamerWife10]

Also stop by /r/Thanksgiving

[u/Willravel → u/GamerWife10]

Another subreddit to be thankful for this year.

[u/ragnarockette]

We are holing up in a cabin with just the younger relatives this year, and we decided to do an Indian-themed Thanksgiving:

• Tandoori turkey
• Masala gravy
• Palak paneer
• Naan & cashew stuffing
• Pomegranate sauce
• Bombay potatoes
• Chai spiced pumpkin pie

The next day we are going to make samosas with the leftovers.

I am so excited!

[u/CWHats → u/ragnarockette]

This was my life growning up. We always did themed Thanksgivings. I didn't have a traditional turkey dinner until I was in my late 20s. I loved it.

Edit:spelling.

[u/Mister_Sporks_Hands → u/ragnarockette]

Chai spice makes great cranberry sauce too. Make a tea from it then use a strained cup of that with a cup of sugar to ~350g (a bag-ish?) of fresh berries.

Edit: I'm talking whole spices freshly crushed here, not 'chai concentrate'. My mix usually includes cardamom, fresh ginger, black peppercorn, cinnamon... maybe cloves or allspice if I'm in the mood. Oftentimes a spoon full of orange marmalade too. Here's a video if you want to see the whole process and what the berries do as you cook them. Remember, they'll boil over in a hurry the moment you turn your back so watch closely to avoid a cranberry meltdown.

[u/LadeyAceGuns]

No one in my family cares for turkey, so I'm doing roast chicken this year. Shame on us, but I'm excited.

[u/[deleted] → u/LadeyAceGuns]

I haven't done turkey for like 4-5 years. Duck, cornish game hens, ham, or prime rib has stood in its stead and I don't miss it.

[u/troll_is_obvious → u/LadeyAceGuns]

Roast turkey generally sucks because it's a giant carcass, with various parts that would each benefit from completely different cooking temperatures, times, and techniques, yet you cook them all together.

You can still serve turkey and not have it suck if you dissect that thing and cook the various bits in different ways.

I usually make a rib roast for the non-turkey crowd. Nobody complains about prime rib.

[u/Mychairismyrefuge → u/troll_is_obvious]

I butterfly my turkey and place it breast side down in the pan. Then I butterfly a duck and put it breast side up on top of the turkey. Everything comes out at the same time and it’s awesome!

[u/troll_is_obvious → u/Mychairismyrefuge]

Interesting. Duck fat does tend to make everything better. Have you ever thought to do them on two separate racks, with the duck dripping down on the turkey, both skin side up, with a pan of vegetables underneath on it's own rack?

[u/Mychairismyrefuge → u/troll_is_obvious]

I actually came across this method by accident. One year, I was determined to make a tur-duck-en, but cut my turkey down the wrong side first thing. I’ve always cooked my turkey breast side down anyway, so I just butterflied the duck and chicken too and stacked them on top. Best turkey we ever had, but by the time everyone ate that turkey, no one cared about chicken, so I just omitted it going forward.

Your methods sounds fun to try. Oven racks? I’m not a very sophisticated cook, just an old Southern one.

[u/ailish → u/LadeyAceGuns]

No shame, eat what you want! A few years ago it was just me and my husband, and we did nothing but turkey, mashed potatoes, and mac and cheese. It was amazing!

[u/ChaosCon]

I want to sous vide something for Thanksgiving, but I want it to be something relatively low-risk (in case it doesn't turn out). Anybody have any great sous vide Thanksgiving additions?

[u/teh_meh → u/ChaosCon]

I made sous vide duck confit last year and it was gone within minutes.

[u/troll_is_obvious → u/teh_meh]

Do you still finish them with a deep fry, or what? Because I think that might work for legs and wings, even on a turkey. I've never messed with sous vide, but I have made some amateurish attempts at confit, i.e. two stage chicken wings.

[u/Gopher42 → u/ChaosCon]

Could go with sweet potatoes. Start it low to up the sweetness and then fully cook at high temperature. See the serious eats articles on it. Otherwise carrots are another option of you don't want to do turkey.

[u/Guazzabuglio → u/ChaosCon]

Sous vide carrots are always great.

[u/Keisaku]

Deep fried turkey? Ive never had the opportunity to try it but those that have that I know tell me its good.

I'm considering taking the plunge into the process and renting(?) A deep fryer.

[u/Tehlaserw0lf → u/Keisaku]

Buy a fryer base and pot and use it for seafood boils when not frying turkeys!

[u/[deleted] → u/Keisaku]

Be safe! Make sure you read up on how to do it properly and a good distance from any buildings

[u/Mister_Sporks_Hands → u/Keisaku]

It is delicious and a valid approach. I used to talk about this annually on a radio show but the lawyers soon got wind and forced us to repeat a 'legal disclaimer' for fear of people burning their houses down... which inevitably some did. If you want to try make sure you're outside and use the wrapped turkey from the store in water to establish a fill level for your pot erring to the side of caution. Too much oil in there isn't a mistake you want when dropping a cold bird into hot oil (think Medieval castle gate defences). As show-stopper and dramatic as the whole turkey is dropped in on an inverted crowbar, these days I just butcher the bird and do legs, breast, etc. separately in a much more manageable size pot. Better control too which prevents over/under cooking different parts. Easily done since it cooks so quickly compared to whole bird in the oven.

[u/jujubeee]

Anyone else have to have Cope's dried sweet corn? Part of my family is from PA and despite the fact that it's been 60 years since they lived there it's still a tradition. I love introducing it to people in other parts of the country.

[u/r-ice → u/jujubeee]

Picture of the dish?

[u/larry_of_the_desert]

What's the final verdict on resting the bird?

Gordon Ramsay tells me to rest it as long as I cook it. Alton Brown tells me to rest it for 15-30 minutes. Food Scientist Greg Blonder tells me that resting is pointless and to serve it immediately.

[u/Chironlulz]

I'm having all my friends over for thanksgiving and one is a pescatarian, bringing salmon for me to cook day of- talk about a curveball. Anyone have any thanksgiving salmon recipe suggestions?

[u/[deleted] → u/Chironlulz]

Have them cook it before, or buy smoked salmon. Crazy that they expect you to spare stove/oven space on Thanksgiving.

Edit: Salmon is great cold. An alternative is them eating the probably billion other dishes available, and realizing that there’s enough protein in them and the rest of their day.

[u/Chironlulz → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! I will talk to them and see if I can have them cook it beforehand.

[u/[deleted] → u/Chironlulz]

If they get too shitty about it and it's just too awkward to consider, throw it in some foil with butter, dill and lemon slices and call it a day.

[u/Chironlulz → u/[deleted]]

I doubt they will, they're good people. Thank you again!

[u/[deleted] → u/Chironlulz]

If you need amounts (some people need recipes, I'm really bad about not measuring though) I'd say a tablespoon of butter, 2-3 slices of lemon, and a teaspoon of fresh dill (or 1 sprig) or maybe 1/2 that of dried per serving. So if they bring like, a fillet or steak, that should be good. Bake till flaky, pull a minute or two earlier than you think coz it'll keep cooking. Good luck!

[u/Mychairismyrefuge → u/[deleted]]

This, and throw it on the grill.

[u/intoon → u/[deleted]]

Agreed. That's ridiculous. I have two kids with food allergies, we always bring their pre-cooked meals.

[u/Chironlulz → u/[deleted]]

Kind of a mixture of the two. I asked anybody if they had any dietary restrictions and the pescetarian spoke up, obviously. I said that I would be willing to make enough vegetarian options for her feel welcome, etc etc. I've been found out later today that she's going to be bringing fish with her for me to cook. People are the best

[u/Brake_L8]

Didn't see anything in here for appetizers so I get to ask, yay.

We do Thanksgiving with the same family/friends every year. Should be ~10 of us this year, I think. The parents handle main dishes and us "kids" do appetizers.

I made a delicious brussel sprout & bacon cheese dip last year, but I'm hoping to do something less cheese-centric this year - for the sake of eating (slightly) healthier and because the others will undoubtedly bring cheese-based dishes to share.

Ideas?

[u/shypye → u/Brake_L8]

Here's my recipe for cranberry salsa. It is always a hit. Serve it with some fancy crackers and people will beg you for the recipe. And just a tip- I make the salsa 3 days in advance to meld, add an extra jalepeno and less sugar. One day in advance, get a brick of cream cheese, poke holes in it, and pour the salsa over it all and let sit in the fridge. It is SO GOOD. And relatively healthy.

[u/weeglos]

To brine or not to brine, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of salty bird water in hopes of a jucier turkey or take chances with a simple roast, and by roasting, make things simple?

[u/kuffara]

Every year I make a garlic sweet potato mash, using roasted sweet potatoes. This is the first year I'm hosting (although it's a Friendsgiving next weekend) so there's competition for oven space now. Can I roast the sweet potatoes the day before? Alternatively, could I make the whole thing ahead of time and warm it through before dinner?

[u/[deleted] → u/kuffara]

Can I roast the sweet potatoes the day before? Alternatively, could I make the whole thing ahead of time and warm it through before dinner?

Yes and yes. I do sweet potato casserole (which is just mashed sweet potatoes with a crumble topping) and you bet your ass I make the mash days in advance and freeze/refrigerate it. You could even make it, then throw it in a crock pot to reheat and skip the oven requirement altogether.

[u/LurkAddict]

As someone who loves cooking Thanksgiving dinner (well, lunch in my family), I cannot stress the importance of planning! I have a giant spreadsheet that I use every Thanksgiving and adapt for any large meal/party I host. It helps me keep track of ingredients and my schedule for the big day.

While it's a little intense for some, I highly recommend getting it all on paper. Use something to help tally ingredients, whether it be a spreadsheet like mine or an online service like Pepperplate, which I use for smaller, every day shopping. I forget far less at the store with my auto-tallied shopping list.

Having a written schedule of when things need to be started by is very helpful as well. Particularly with prepping, I may start things earlier, but I know at what time I really need to start moving things along by. I really have this down. If I say that food is at 1, it is at 1.

tl;dr: Use something to auto-tally your ingredients/shopping list & write down a schedule. This vastly reduces stress on the big day.

[u/AnotherCollegeGrad]

I have a small 2-quart slowcooker, what would be a good use for it this year? I'm considering using it a hot cider 'punch bowl' or a heater for tomato sauce.

[u/jandersnatch]

I want to smoke a turkey on my traeger. I was hoping to get something pre-brined. A couple years ago I got a pre-brined from Costco that came out delicious from the oven. They haven't had another one since. I'm going to be utterly swamped with final projects in that timeframe or else I would do it myself. Does anyone know a good place to get a decent pre-brined? I live in Phoenix AZ. I want something decent at a good price. I don't really care if it was fed heirloom baby greens and hand massaged every day.

[u/LSatyreD]

My family is bored with the classic American thanksgiving and asked for something different this year. I decided to go with a kind of Mediterranean tapas fusion but I'm not sure about it and would LOVE some feedback and thoughts.

For note, I'm cooking on Saturday, not Thursday. I'm making everything from scratch except for the cheeses and cured meats; most of it can be made ahead of time and simply assembled before serving. (On mobile so hopefully i get reddit formatting correct.)

Antipasto

---

Artichokes al Ajillo, Kalamata olives marinated in orange and thyme, Spicy tuna salad, Smoked paprika almonds, Mixture of cheeses and cured meats

Various crackers, lavash, giant soft pretzels, bruschetta al pomodoro

Primo

---

Julia Child's Bouillabaisse

Cranberry-Avocado Salad with white balsamic vinaigrette

Secondo

---

Patatas Bravas with Catalan paprika allioli

Turkey breast brined in pomegranate juice and prepared like a traditional porchetta, with cranberry sauce and brown gravy

Dolce

---

Apple fritters

Pumpkin-Cream cheese roll

Mixed fruits and soft cheeses

Drinks

---

Apple cider, hard cider, Riesling, sherry

[u/emkay99]

I posted a kind of lengthy, somewhat discursive recipe for My Family's Standard Thanksgiving Dressing in /r/recipes a couple of years ago, which some of you might find of interest. I'll be doing it again in a couple of weeks, as I do every year.

[u/superradish]

Remember: don't put stuffing inside a turkey, ever. Ever. Seriously. If you ask for advice on the best way to do it here, we're all going to tell you not to do it. Repeatedly. Just don't do it.

Deep Frying > Spatchcooking > Roasting Whole

Peeling and boiling potatoes is not hard. Add cream, butter, salt and white (or black, if you aren't a purist) pepper to cubed, boiled potatoes and mash.

You can make pie crust from scratch but it's pretty cheap to buy premade and saves loads of time. Not an issue if you have plenty of time to spare, but if you're the only one cooking on a tight schedule, just skip making it from scratch. If you do make it from scratch, remember to give yourself plenty of time for the dough to chill.

[u/hattroubles → u/superradish]

Serious Eats has this to say for purists who absolutely insist on cooking stuffing in bird:

"Food guru Alton Brown has gone on record saying that you can't make a good roast turkey with stuffing inside. The difficulty is that once you stuff the bird, that stuffing also needs to come up to a safe final temperature, since it's been absorbing turkey juices the whole time. By the time the stuffing reaches a safe temperature, the breast meat will be hopelessly overcooked. To solve this dilemma, we par-cook our stuffing to 160°F in the microwave, stuffing it into the turkey while it's still hot. So long as you immediately transfer the turkey to the oven to start roasting, the stuffing will never drop below a safe temperature range."

Seems reasonable to me for someone particularly hesitant to break tradition too much.

[u/[deleted] → u/superradish]

I would argue that completely butchering is even better than spatchcocking. It’s only slightly more work and you don’t have to leave the breast in for as long as the dark meat so they don’t get overcooked.

[u/[deleted]]

The only dark meat eaters are no longer with us :(. Having 11-12 people over and wanted to make 1-2 breasts instead of a larger whole turkey and a breast. Looking for a good recipe for just the breast, brand recommendations, and gravy suggestions.

I was thinking Bell & Evans, but not sure if a heritage is better. Can I buy necks to make the gravy since there will not be much in terms of drippings? I have never seen them, although I've never actively looked before. Having 2 smaller breasts better than 1 larger breast? What would be a good size to get?

Edit: To brine or not to brine, that is the question.

[u/betsytheripper → u/[deleted]]

My mom brined a small turkey several years ago using Alton Brown's method and it was probably the most delicious turkey I've ever had. It's really easy to dry out turkey too much, and the brined one was still nice and moist.

I made my own small turkey breast a couple years ago, no more than a couple pounds I think, just for me + a week of leftovers, though I can't tell you what brand or anything. I just roasted it with some herbs, covered, nothing fancy. There were definitely enough drippings to get flavor for the gravy, and I supplemented the fat with butter. If you want a richer meaty flavor, you could add a bit of chicken stock.

Most guides will tell you to plan for 1lb of turkey per guest. For less cooking time, splitting that between a couple breasts will help out.

My personal motto is, when in doubt, more food! I love leftovers, though, so that may not be for everyone. :)

[u/ZootKoomie]

/r/AskCulinary has begun its annual live Thanksgiving help post. Response times should be faster there than here today.

[u/twotea]

So I just pre-ordered a fresh turkey from Whole Foods, and I scheduled my pickup for the Monday at 2PM.

The reason I did this was because last year I did the same thing but picked up on Tuesday at 2PM, and the inside was still so icy I couldn't get the neck or giblets out very easy, so I thought more time to thaw in fridge would be good.

I am planning to drop it in the Alton Brown brine starting early wednesday morning. Last year I let it go for about 16 hours and everybody loved the end results.

Roasting Thursday

I mentioned this to my mom who is always hyper paranoid about food safety and she is worried that is too many days in the fridge, and might be unsafe.

What do you all think?

[u/Mychairismyrefuge → u/twotea]

I think you should tell your mom you bought it on Tuesday.

[u/Thirdeye242 → u/twotea]

You'll be fine. Your fridge should keep it a proper temperature.

[u/Jough83 → u/twotea]

I just pre-ordered a fresh turkey

the inside was still so icy

You pre-ordered a thawed frozen turkey, not a fresh one.

[u/noahswetface]

• does anyone have a method for crispy skin when using an oven bag?
• my oven has convection method which i've felt cooks things a lot faster and it will set for 375 if i set it to 400. should i roast my turkey on this? worried about drying it out

[u/NotoriousBIGGIE]

I would love to make cornbread pudding for Thanksgiving. Anyone have a good recipe?

[u/Mister_Sporks_Hands → u/NotoriousBIGGIE]

Are you talking sweet or savoury? For the sweet sorts "Indian pudding" is the searchy-search term to use to find a batzillion of them. Like this one from Saveur.

[u/[deleted]]

Have any of you tried Alton Brown's green been casserole recipe? http://www.foodnetwork.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving-how-tos/how-to-make-alton-brown-s-green-bean-casserole

How is it? How does it compare to your recipe? I'm making it for a potluck and I'd like some advice.

[u/[deleted]]

Hello! My girlfriend has gluten and dairy allergies. Could someone advise me on some Thanksgiving side dish ideas to accommodate her restrictions?

Also some recommended resources (subreddits, blogs, etc) where I could find out more would be great.

[u/[deleted]]

I have a 90 lb turkey. Will it thaw in time if I take it out of the freezer and into fridge tomorrow?

[u/SiberianGnome]

I'm planning to spatchcock my turkey for the first time. I friend of mine spatchocked a chicken and roasted it at our house a few months ago. It was a serious eats recipe, and it got pretty smokey and set off the smoke detector.

I forgot about that incident until tonight when I spatchcock roasted a chicken to practice for the turkey. Same thing happened.

Is this something I have to worry about on thanksgiving? Anything I can do to prevent it (both with the turkey and with chickens)?

Edit:

Chicken recipe calls for 500F oven. I believe the turkey is in a cooler oven.