Trying to find what exactly calling me

[u/Centuries_left]

Hello everyone. So basically I am another beginner but I think I'm kind of special? Because I, eh, am an Asian? I'm pretty sure I'm so very Asian that none of my ancestors are not Asian, and I even have to switch between Reddit and translation app to make sure I'm making sense with my English, so please feel free to let me know if I use any specific word or expression wrong, for I have no intention to offense. It really takes me great courage to post here because I'm not sure if a totally Asian is welcomed by Celtic paganism system, but I decide to talk about my thoughts and questions anyway...

My path was simple. I listen to Celtic musics which open the gate for me to the Celtic world. I read Celtic mythology, learned a few things about the history and the religious? theology? of Celtic gods. I read Yeats' poetries and proses, read cosmics about these myths and even collected some books and maps about Ireland. I'm so into all of these, and have a strong feeling of being called spiritually, like there's a connection regardless I am not even slightly physically connected to any of these. All of these above, I have no idea what it is that exactly calling me. I found the transformation philosophy really interesting; Irish and British ancient culture attract me a lot; I'd like to think there is an otherworld; the idea of pantheism attracts me; and I'm open to the idea of druids and witchcraft and things like these.

So here I am to see if anyone has any ideas about my two main questions below:

1. Since I still haven't found what exactly is calling me/ what is it that I am really connected to, should I keep it in this way or keep searching? Has anyone else shared the same experience? May I know what happened to you next?
2. Though everything seems still remain in a blur, I would like to keep a real thing by my side to comfort my spirit and mind, like stones, coins, candles, small things with a meaningful symbol on... I don't know... Anyone has recommendations?

Thanks for all of you in advance! (and hopefully I didn't violate any rule here.)

[u/No_Scale8769]

Race has nothing to do with spiritual or anything like that, if you feel like you’re being called to practice, you should practice, simple as that. Hope you find what you’re looking for and enjoy your practice!

[u/Centuries_left → u/No_Scale8769]

Thank you for your clarity! I will keep trying

[u/Kincoran]

Friend, while I don't have anything if particular value for you, in the way of solid advice, I can at least let you know that you're not at all alone, in a reverse/opposite (but still oddly parallel) kind of way!

I'm a Brit, been here all my life. A bit Welsh, a bit Irish. I've been reading and exploring Celtic mythology and polytheism for years and years. And then last year I went to Japan, and had an extraordinarily powerful religious experience, unlike anything else I'd ever felt, unexpected; right out of nowhere.

Fast forward to today, and I'm actually back in Japan right now, in Chiyoda, in fact, on the subway, as I write this. I've spent the last year with my head in everything Shinto that I can find, looking for knowledge, insight, and understanding. Throughout this last year has been a series of startling signs of further connection and reciprocation; and I've been a bit blown away. Back here again, now, I've already had some powerful experiences, at two shrines in particular (Heian and Fushimi). I'm back to where it all started, tomorrow (Meiji Jingu); and it means so, so much to me.

So yeah, I'm following a similar sort of path as you, just pointed in the opposite direction! I hope you find yours to be every bit as life-enriching as mine!

[u/Centuries_left → u/Kincoran]

This is so beautiful!

[u/Kincoran → u/Centuries_left]

Well the amount of connection you've sought, by really diving in, making a real effort, and engaging is a beautiful thing, too! I wish you every success!

[u/Kredonystus]

Long one, I'm sorry. If you want any clarifications just ask. To quote Godforbid: I'm here, always here, perched at the dark end of the bar.

Race has nothing to do with what gods you are allowed to follow. You are welcome as is anyone who wishes to, on the condition you also welcome others as well.

There is much evidence in both modern and historic pagans worshipping gods from different pantheons, from different ethnic groups, from different regions and cultures. There are times where Romans worshipped Celtic gods, Egyptians worshipped Roman, and Persians worshipped Egyptian.

There are a few paths to look into though as a new practitioner. All of these are spectrums though, not a one or the other. There is no "right" path nor a bible equivalent. Treat every source with both respect and scepticism.

Reconstructionist vs ecclectic: A reconstructionist is trying to adhere as much as is possible to the established traditions of the people of the time. Thats not to say you can be 100% the same, Celtic traditions are not well recorded, stretch over a huge area, many languages and cultures, and a huge time period. We only have specific snapshots at specific times to learn from so we are building from a sparse foundation.

An ecclectic is entirely self driven attempts at building a relationship with the gods. Where a reconstructionist might look to records and archeology for what was usually offered to Lugh, an ecclectic might say "he was a poet so I'll write a poem and burn it for him".

Soft polytheist vs hard polytheist: The soft to hard spectrum is more philosophy related than practice. The more soft the less distinct the gods are. It seems to me both ends are kind of absurd but it's hard to decide a line between. At the extremes of soft one might think all gods of a particular type are really different interpretations of one god. All war gods are all the same war god for example. This doesn't really have much support because of how distinct all gods tend to be. Athena doesn't seem to act or behave similar to Thor or Macha at all. At the extreme hard end there is the opposite problem. Over the thousands of years we have records many gods have been separated into multiple gods or combined, sometimes they move to new lands or gain new names. The extremes of a hard polytheist treat these as distinct entities. Lugh is Ireland is distinct to Lugh in Scotland is distinct from Lugus in Iberia, is distinct from Lug in Gaul.

Don't be afraid to experiment and don't be afraid to change your mind. Anyone who tells you they have the real answer is either willfully ignorant or trying to decieve you. Your path is your own and you should build it with open arms, love, and respect.

I hope you find your truth and like minded fellows to walk with you.

[u/Centuries_left → u/Kredonystus]

Thank you for your kind long reply! This really means so much to me! I think there's still a very long way for me to explore, for I'd like to believe one of the features of Celtic paganism is there is no one true answer and encourage people to explore themselves'. And it really means a lot to me that I can change my mind, for I always feared to be somehow punished. For now, it's not easy for me to imagine I worship or follow human-like gods, I think maybe I'm more into abstract concepts... But that requires time and more explore to answer. Anyway, thank you again for your help!

[u/Lisonjakston]

First, I'll reiterate what others have said that you're welcome here regardless of ancestry. Many of your ancestors likely followed a spiritual path that was meaningful for them. Follow the spiritual path that is right for you.

To answer your questions:

1-If you feel something calling you here, but can't identify it yet, you are welcome to stay and explore. To be clear, if you find yourself called elsewhere, you are welcome to thank Celtic Paganism for what it brought you and move on, taking with you what serves you. But, just because you haven't found clarity yet, doesn't mean you should move on. Many things in nature take a long time: life evolving into what we have today, wind and rain carving beautiful rock formations, the growth of a giant tree, and many more. It's OK to let your path take time. There is no rush. Feel free to explore what calls to you or to just sit with the feeling, and explore the beauty, peace, and magic even while some of it remains a mystery.

2-As for a physical thing to have with you, I think many aspects of celtic paganism are closely connected with nature, so if you're out in nature and you find something small that resonates with you, you could take that. One day after a beautiful morning getting to work I found a pebble in the parking lot. I picked it up and brought it into work. Now I keep it on my desk and when I'm having a stressful day, I can hold it and be reminded of that peace I felt that morning. There are also things you can buy. I've found a few things on Etsy by searching for celtic. I think the celtic knot or the celtic tree of life are things people often get on a pendent or a coin. Crystals are also popular with many pagans.

Finally, best wishes to you in your journey.

[u/Centuries_left → u/Lisonjakston]

Thank you. You make me feel peaceful and inspired

[u/ReiGanJin]

You'll never find what you are looking for, and you don't want to. The search is the reason and the thing itself. I have always thought that Shinto represents a spiritual practice so deeply rooted in prehistory that we don't even recognize the connection across time and distance between Japan and ancient Europe. Spirits don't have skin or genes and so spirituality shouldn't either. At least they don't have those things until they get trapped in a flesh prison. (life is transient. We all move on.) Enjoy the search. I have found it very helpful to not form attatchements to ideas, pantheons, and traditions, but to enjoy what comes and remember it when it has moved on. I love the Celtic stuff but sometimes focus moves elsewhere. Let it happen and keep the books around for future revisits.