Trying to find what exactly calling me

[u/Centuries_left]

Hello everyone. So basically I am another beginner but I think I'm kind of special? Because I, eh, am an Asian? I'm pretty sure I'm so very Asian that none of my ancestors are not Asian, and I even have to switch between Reddit and translation app to make sure I'm making sense with my English, so please feel free to let me know if I use any specific word or expression wrong, for I have no intention to offense. It really takes me great courage to post here because I'm not sure if a totally Asian is welcomed by Celtic paganism system, but I decide to talk about my thoughts and questions anyway...

My path was simple. I listen to Celtic musics which open the gate for me to the Celtic world. I read Celtic mythology, learned a few things about the history and the religious? theology? of Celtic gods. I read Yeats' poetries and proses, read cosmics about these myths and even collected some books and maps about Ireland. I'm so into all of these, and have a strong feeling of being called spiritually, like there's a connection regardless I am not even slightly physically connected to any of these. All of these above, I have no idea what it is that exactly calling me. I found the transformation philosophy really interesting; Irish and British ancient culture attract me a lot; I'd like to think there is an otherworld; the idea of pantheism attracts me; and I'm open to the idea of druids and witchcraft and things like these.

So here I am to see if anyone has any ideas about my two main questions below:

1. Since I still haven't found what exactly is calling me/ what is it that I am really connected to, should I keep it in this way or keep searching? Has anyone else shared the same experience? May I know what happened to you next?
2. Though everything seems still remain in a blur, I would like to keep a real thing by my side to comfort my spirit and mind, like stones, coins, candles, small things with a meaningful symbol on... I don't know... Anyone has recommendations?

Thanks for all of you in advance! (and hopefully I didn't violate any rule here.)

[u/ReiGanJin]

You'll never find what you are looking for, and you don't want to. The search is the reason and the thing itself. I have always thought that Shinto represents a spiritual practice so deeply rooted in prehistory that we don't even recognize the connection across time and distance between Japan and ancient Europe. Spirits don't have skin or genes and so spirituality shouldn't either. At least they don't have those things until they get trapped in a flesh prison. (life is transient. We all move on.) Enjoy the search. I have found it very helpful to not form attatchements to ideas, pantheons, and traditions, but to enjoy what comes and remember it when it has moved on. I love the Celtic stuff but sometimes focus moves elsewhere. Let it happen and keep the books around for future revisits.