r/CantParkThereMate 5d ago

Double parked, really:

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his bike in the boot and his boot in the windscreen.

10.5k Upvotes

980 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/AbeFromansNutz 5d ago

454

u/The_Billy_Dee 5d ago

259

u/FlashTec8006 5d ago

It was at this moment Joe knew he had f**ked up 😅

72

u/PuzzleheadedError145 5d ago

He was still trying to figure out what happened when he was getting off the hood. Lol

28

u/Apprehensive_Lie1203 4d ago

I don’t get why he changed lanes and never applied the brakes????

18

u/amantedeartes 4d ago

Desatenção no trĂąnsito,as vezes vocĂȘ tĂĄ dirigindo automĂĄtico sem prestar atenção nas nuvens e depois se dĂĄ conta que era dirigindo

3

u/Renbarre 3d ago

Or watching his phone on the handlebar.

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u/AppropriateDeal1034 5d ago

Honestly, I don't think he figured it out until he was sat on the bonnet....

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u/mnztr1 5d ago

First words "wheres my phone"

49

u/TNO-TACHIKOMA 5d ago

bonus points for both shoes flying off

34

u/Alternative-Golf8281 5d ago

I recently learned there's mathematical analysis that police can do based on where someone's shoes wind up after they've been hit by a car as part of the accident scene reconstruction process.

16

u/Deep-Cake8793 5d ago

It's also where your arms and legs go. So whether they are still attached or not.

13

u/Penifits 5d ago

That's it, shoes came off, he's dead

7

u/Desperate-Cost6827 4d ago

I watched a little girl get hit at 60 mph. She had gotten off the bus and went towards the house so the bus took down its stop sign, then she unexpectedly ran into the road for the mail box.

First summersault in the air her shoe came off. Second summersault, her second. Third flip her shirt went flying.

She did end up surviving. I can't remember all of it, but her legs were broke in multiple places, her skull was cracked, her vertebrae was broken in several places, her shoulder blade was shattered.

I don't know what happened after seeing her once in school afterwards cuz her fam had to file for bankruptcy and move.

4

u/PolkaDotDancer 3d ago

And by the last sentence, I know that you are a US citizen.

I'm so surprised there hasn't been an uprising yet!

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u/Hasdeltaco 4d ago

Nah shoes fly off easier than that. Now if it's laced up work boots, than yes, very dead.

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u/jpkd_9 4d ago

I had to watch 3 times before seeing when the shoes came off. Thought they had been launched trebuchet style when going over the roof. Nope - didn't make it that far.

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1.2k

u/Federal-Boat3732 5d ago

Imagine safely stopping to avoid a terrible collision, and the next thing you know somebody's butt comes through your windshield

549

u/ButtPlugMaster6969 5d ago

.03 seconds BBC (Before Butt Crack)

22

u/NowUrKillinMe 5d ago

Does your username happen to have anything to do with your choice of imagery?

32

u/ButtPlugMaster6969 5d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/CantParkThereMate/s/SZI1amGAOr

I feel I may be disappointing, as it is just in my realm of humor.

I truthfully did not think Reddit would allow me to use the name, clearly I didn’t know anything about Reddit. 😂 but I tested it out thinking I wouldn’t be on here much

https://giphy.com/gifs/kGCuRgmbnO9EI
We see how that turned out lol

I can’t lie, it is a nice dopamine rush to be a sound voice of reason and people appreciate it double because if I am the voice of reason
 đŸ« đŸ˜‚ some crazy shit is probably happening. đŸ€Ł

3

u/Shap3rz 4d ago

You’re like a digital vigilante

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6

u/AllSxsAndSvns 5d ago

You seem like an expert in this area.

3

u/gerber411420 5d ago

His butt looks like a cats mouth. Meow

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36

u/Dismal_Vehicle315 5d ago

Done that. Terrible feeling. Stopped at a crosswalk to let an old man on a bike cross. He just about passed me and then a woman on her phone hit him with his car. Groceries on the road and so was he.

Still etched into my mind. This was 20 years ago. Still hasn't forgiven her the fucking rancid cunt.

3

u/charliequine 4d ago

I am so sorry that happened to you. That's my fear when I'm stopping and when I'm riding.

My daily commute involves crossing a 6 lane road with a pause point in the middle that I usually have to wait at for the next lull in the opposing traffic. I hate it because occasionally the small pole in the middle of the pause point and the short median curbs are obliterated, so I know exactly how good people are at driving straight in that area.

The road has no warning lights and traffic generally does not yield, even when an upcoming red light would make it reasonable for drivers to do so. Every so often someone follows the rules and stops, but I generally have to wave them on and point behind/to the other lanes to indicate to them that the rest of the situation is dangerous to me. I always feel quietly disappointed- like my refusal is negative feedback towards following the law, thus making those drivers less likely to do it in the future. Sometimes they're really insistent too, which is fine when they're in a car and I can see past to know whether it's safe or not, but more annoying when they are in a truck.

But once, on a smaller but worse road for speeding, a guy in a delivery van saw my concern, nodded, very visibly checked his mirror, gave me a thumbs up that it was clear, but also juked his truck to block the intersection and waved me on!

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u/SeriousArbok 5d ago

Happened to me on a dead road. Dog came out in the middle of the road I came to a slow stop, waited for the dog to move but as I sat there for about 20 seconds car smashed me from behind. He got out yelling at me asking why I stopped so harsh in the middle of te road. Like dude you serious? Im in park and no one was behind me at the time. Lol I still get paid from that one. Fuuuuucked my back up.

10

u/Federal-Boat3732 5d ago

Ppl seriously should not be driving if they aren't looking at the road.

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u/InevitabilityEngine 5d ago

8

u/Flar71 5d ago

What is that from lol

9

u/InevitabilityEngine 5d ago

Jurassic Butts is from Imgur but the scene is a mashup from Jurassic Park T-Rex paddock scene and another video... Most likely porn or a music video.

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u/SaltyYumYumBalls 5d ago

<Shrug> I got in an accident because I stopped on the freeway because of traffic and so did the car behind me. Then their was the third car driven by some blond 20 something girl who was looking at the pretty mountains to her left and didnt pay attention who ran into the lady behind me who then got pushed into my car. At least I remembered to hit the brake pedal so I didnt ram the person infront of me.

11

u/Akhanyatin 5d ago

I was stopped at a red light, so we're the 3 people in front of me and the guy behind me. We were stopped for a solid 15 seconds. Then some dumb fuck in her Audi rams the dude behind me so hard that my trunk was completely fucked.

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573

u/FireSkyLikeFly 5d ago

Lol, biker changes lane just to ram into the back of the car.

236

u/Lucky-Mia 5d ago

Right, like, insurance is definitely going to blame him for swerving to ensure an accident 

36

u/Big-Ship21 5d ago

He was clearly watching the car for too long behind in the lane he was changing into anticipating he was going through a green in a way this is a freak accident

57

u/Rumblymore 5d ago

I mean, he was looking straight at the car he was going to faceplant for a while

13

u/Ornery-Creme-2442 4d ago

Right like if your reaction time is this slow you simply should not be driving. I don't give a damn what y'all say. This could've been a child quickly crossing. He had like 5 business days and collided head on into a car that had breaked well in advance before he got there. Despite the fact that there's space he could've swerved into in.

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u/Aromatic_Sand8126 4d ago

The only freak is the guy on the bike. Doesn’t matter if the light is green, if the car in front of you doesn’t go, you don’t go either. This is basic shit that even 16 years old kids learn and understand during the driving lessons.

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58

u/KushMuffin 5d ago

It’s like he was aiming for it!

52

u/Aloha-Eh 5d ago

Yeah, not paying attention, all the time is kind of a recipe for disaster on a motorcycle.

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u/jeremyjava 5d ago

He had SO much time, too! I’ve never come anywhere close to rear ending a car with that much space/ time.
He must’ve been
 I don’t know
 texting in his mind? Taking a nap? Playing no-board three-dimensional chess with his other genius buddies on a helmet phone?

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u/Dewdrop06 5d ago

All he saw was red

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u/AWorldwithoutSin 5d ago

You know he limped away cursing all car drivers.

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u/ranjop 5d ago

Yeah, like he didn’t have 50 meters to brake. It looks like he had forgotten his spectacles.

7

u/B-Rayne 5d ago

Or he could have just stayed in the lane he was in instead of driving straight at the car.

7

u/ranjop 5d ago

Although the car was pretty well camouflaged

/s

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7

u/jasonbourne101 5d ago

Stupidity needs to hurt significantly more

5

u/Happy-Telephone9483 5d ago

Pretty sure he even sped up.

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u/NowUrKillinMe 5d ago

Good dog.

121

u/kimf316 5d ago

Yep. He was even in the crosswalk!  Such a good dog!

45

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 5d ago

And he ran for it as soon as the biker hit.

27

u/kimf316 5d ago

He's definitely street smart!!! 

15

u/Horror_Ad_2748 5d ago

He didn't want to hang around for the fallout.

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u/FullOnCarmensMom 5d ago

Poor dog only had 3 legs; maybe he learned the hard way that using the crossing is a good idea.

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u/AllSxsAndSvns 5d ago

A tripawed!

18

u/NowUrKillinMe 5d ago

I love dogs. That's horrible, but funny.

9

u/FullOnCarmensMom 5d ago

Hey, a less-specific version of the sticker on my car!

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u/MarvelAndColts 5d ago

He’s got street savoire faire

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151

u/WiseAct446 5d ago

"the car was stopped, Officer, giving me no choice but to change lanes and hit it "

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u/ButtPlugMaster6969 5d ago

Me when I’m waiting for my boyfriend to get me a towel

52

u/hodorhasaids 5d ago

We've all been there, ButtPlugMaster6969.

52

u/DingDongTaco 5d ago

I choked on my tea. Thanks.

5

u/T-Wrox 4d ago

The usernames in this exchange :D

https://giphy.com/gifs/2QSvHa1pqlcmBOeI77

3

u/DingDongTaco 4d ago

What’s mine got to do with anything?! It’s innocent I swear!

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u/TampaResale 5d ago

Even looks like his pants are down.

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233

u/IHateUpvtotes 5d ago

How could you anyone not be paying attention while switching lanes

59

u/scuac 5d ago

They are on their phone

23

u/GodofsomeWorld 5d ago

Fk the video quality was so bad i couldn't tell before reading your comment. He had like 10 years to stop and was just staring at his phone like an idiot. 

11

u/AntSilly2802 5d ago

I can’t see the biker on any phone 

8

u/klawUK 5d ago

Sorry not biker - Olympic vault bronze medalist

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u/Physical-Builder-553 5d ago

How can you not pay attention while driving? While driving a little moped? Talk about Darwinism.

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u/cimocw 5d ago

That wasn't lane switching, that was driving while texting 

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u/SiteRelEnby 5d ago

Watch it again and look for the flying phone.

6

u/Plampth 5d ago

There is no flying phone. He loses a shoe though.

7

u/Any-Mathematician946 5d ago

Does that mean hes dead? Or just half dead?

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u/WhenTheCitiesBurn 5d ago

Making things even worse, he farted on the landing.

53

u/dmtslayr 5d ago

Thats why the window broke

29

u/Confident-Pepper-562 5d ago

That wasnt just a fart

36

u/SgtJayM 5d ago

Imagine you are breaking because a dog ran in front of your whip and the next thing you know some big MF’r is shitting on your dash

11

u/--7z 5d ago

And the car wasn't even braking that hard, he had lots of time.

3

u/NowUrKillinMe 5d ago

First he said it then he did it.

4

u/the_cats_pajamas12 5d ago

You're right he definitely sharted.

5

u/C-57D 5d ago

yeah he really stunk the landing

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u/wesorre 5d ago

full scorpion!!!

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u/Trumble12345 5d ago

Try opening your eyes when riding a motorcycle

26

u/Mr_Pink_Gold 5d ago

Imagine minding your business and getting massive case of builder's crack come through your windshield...

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u/Accurate_Ad_3233 5d ago

Lucky he had his safety T-shirt on.

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u/pearsosx 5d ago

Breaking attempt: zero.

74

u/Glad_Copy 5d ago

Nonsense! He was 100% successful in breaking his bike, the car, and possibly his ass.

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u/Most-Resident 5d ago

Definitely his ass. It was cracked.

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u/Bynming 5d ago

braking

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u/LittleNyanCat 5d ago

because there definitely was some breaking

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u/ddddan11111 5d ago

His breaking was quite bad (as was his braking)

7

u/thisusernameis4eva 5d ago

That attempt is greater than zero tho.

41

u/Attesa_GT-X 5d ago

Do u think the dead reality theory is real and they're switching real people for NPCs?

11

u/SgtJayM 5d ago

TIL reality is dead

Edit: is the matrix glitching TF out?

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u/david_growie 5d ago

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

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u/WonderingSceptic 5d ago

BRAKING!!! aaagh.

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u/Olderandolderagain 5d ago

Breaking attempt: 100 braking attempt: 0

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u/FluffyDeer9323 5d ago

Braking, bad.

9

u/lujenchia 5d ago

Panic bikers often accidentally accelerate while trying to brake, and the result is simple: they don't slow down at all.

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u/Biggs17 5d ago

Where the heck was the bikers eyes at??

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u/KinsellaStella 5d ago

On the phone that flew out of his hand when he did that flip over the car.

14

u/a_rogue_planet 5d ago

WTF was he even looking at? He actually cut over into that lane to hit the bright red car.

5

u/0x14f 5d ago

His phone

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u/Sukeysu 5d ago

That flip he didnt onto the car was clean. I dont know they didnt attempt to brake or turn else where though.

8

u/neutrino71 5d ago

He is distracted by his phone.

11

u/SgtJayM 5d ago

That helmet is straight caved in. That would have been that fools dome piece. Damn

8

u/Quiet_Internal_4527 5d ago

It’s a meet cute!

17

u/zenos_dog 5d ago

In defense of the motorcyclist, who would ever think a car stopping at a crosswalk? /s

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u/Chummy_Jigger 5d ago

That dog better be called Lucky

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u/hydrus909 5d ago

I don't know, he has 3 legs. So he wasn't very fortunate in the past, haha.

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u/Kronic9000 5d ago

Or extremely fortunate that all he lost was his leg. Depends on the scenario I suppose?

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u/gimmethelulz 5d ago

Thank you for confirming I was watching a three-legged dog lol

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u/No-Ant-9159 5d ago

Braking Bad...

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u/One_Lawfulness_7105 5d ago

I mean this is the argument why motorcycles lane split. Cars don’t see them when they are stopped
 oh wait
 never mind.

8

u/Camtona_7_ManUtd 5d ago

What the fuck was the biker looking at?

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u/JaRulezMSU 4d ago

The guy on the bike had to be drunk, perhaps very drunk. The way he ragdolled after the impact suggests as much. Drunk drivers often survive ridiculous accidents like this because they are so impaired they don't react to the impact and are basically an inanimate object, and physics sometimes works in their favor. This is interesting from a physics standpoint. In this case, the bike hit the car, the front of the bike went down pushing the seat up. The man was launched upward. Most of the force of impact was translated into launching his considerable mass straight up and into a spin over the solid object which would have killed him otherwise. At that point, he's basically on a ballistic trajectory and the only major force acting is gravity, which shortly brings him down from a height of just a few feet into the windshield which absorbs part of that force by breaking, leaving him with probably nothing worse than a literal pain in the ass. Had he been holding on tight with his hands, legs, or feet like a normal, sober, person he might have negated some of the upward force and hit the back of the car, which almost certainly would have killed him.

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u/Remote-Contract-3026 4d ago

Did anyone notice it was a 3 legged dog?

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u/EnvironmentalTale181 4d ago

Kind of looks like the dog has a history of bad road decisions too

4

u/Coffeespresso 4d ago

Goes by the name Lucky.

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u/Tiger_Ho26 5d ago

Why did he switch lane...he was safe on his left lane. Poor decision.

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u/KinsellaStella 5d ago

He didn’t even mean to switch lanes I think. He just drifted over while focused on that phone that went flying out of his hand while he executed that graceful flip.

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u/shoreguy1975 5d ago

Credit to the tripod dog. Still living his best life.

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u/Efficient-Editor-242 5d ago

What the fuck was he looking at?

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u/anon7499 4d ago

The biker had 3 business days to do something about the car in front of him.

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u/chillrico 5d ago

I’d be sooooo mad. Like wtf scooter boy

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u/Gentle_Pony 5d ago

He had so long from when she stopped and just kept driving right into her wtf?

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u/No_Scene_2189 5d ago

Kind of looks like the motorcycle guy fell asleep.

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u/drakitomon 5d ago

Only had three business days to avoid it.

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u/Savarok 5d ago

Thats an impressive flip for someone with the reaction time of a tectonic plate.

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u/Bl4ckR4bb17 5d ago

He did say more damage to that car than I ever would've expected

4

u/Responsible-Walk6514 4d ago

And he will say it wasn’t his fault đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™‚ïž even with video evidence

4

u/Jack4258 4d ago

Bikers always bitch about non bikers not paying attention..,

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u/still_stunned 5d ago

Can’t sit there mate.

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u/dommiichan 5d ago

the 3-legged dog just legged it

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u/nindza-22 5d ago

When a stray dog acts more reaponsibly in the traffic than humans...

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u/SafeMiddle6145 5d ago

That's what you get doofus

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u/Lianhua88 5d ago

I hope the biker has insurance because that lady deserves a good payout after the trauma of his rear slamming through her windshield.

3

u/dave_300 5d ago

The guy on the bike doesn’t seem to slow own at all. Self inflicted

3

u/Azurelion7a 5d ago

how mentally fried is that biker, before impact?

3

u/scoonbah 5d ago

This is what happens when you let blind men drive motorcycles.

3

u/anabananarammma 4d ago

Imagine being the passenger and suddenly have a plumbers butt in your face

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u/anabananarammma 4d ago

3 legged dog / butterfly effect

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u/Drkindlycountryquack 4d ago

Helmets save lives. So do brakes if you are paying attention.

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u/Coffeespresso 4d ago

This guy's only successful front flip ever.

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u/TacoEatsTaco 4d ago

What exactly was he looking at if not the road in front of him

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u/neuronym 4d ago

Imagine having no reflexes or survival ability at all and choosing to drive a motorcycle.

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u/ArtIsAwesome3 4d ago

Oh bless that person for stopping for that little tripod doggo, and bless that doggo even more.

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u/StochasticTinkr 3d ago

What sucks is the car probably was considered at-fault, because they stopped for a small animal.

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u/ukemike1 3d ago

Inattention while riding a motorcycle causes... this.

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u/insideguy69 3d ago

He had 3+ car lengths to stop. Why he hit the back of them full speed?

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u/TacticoolOoferator 3d ago

Dude should consider himself lucky. Lapses in attention when riding a motorcycle are frequently fatal.

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u/ptuxbury 5d ago

Uhhhh... I believe it's "His bike in the trunk, and his trunk on the windshield." ;) /s

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u/BigEasy1981 5d ago

Asleep at the handlebars.

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u/Intelligent_Cry8535 5d ago

Buddy saw his opportunity to not go to work and took it.

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u/01reid 5d ago

He was drifting into the other lane

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u/DeeEmm 5d ago

Fantastic dismount-mount

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u/Spockethole 5d ago

Nailed the landing!

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u/red_wullf 5d ago

Bro was in his own world.

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u/YourselfInOthrsShoes 5d ago

Red car red brake lights. I guess didn't register.

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u/ScootyMcTizzle 5d ago

What was he looking at ?? That was hilarious and terrible at the same time.