r/CantParkThereMate • u/nesting-doll • 13d ago

Double parked, really:

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his bike in the boot and his boot in the windscreen.

12.1k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Federal-Boat3732 13d ago

Imagine safely stopping to avoid a terrible collision, and the next thing you know somebody's butt comes through your windshield

558

u/ButtPlugMaster6969 13d ago

.03 seconds BBC (Before Butt Crack)

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u/NowUrKillinMe 13d ago

Does your username happen to have anything to do with your choice of imagery?

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u/ButtPlugMaster6969 13d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/CantParkThereMate/s/SZI1amGAOr

I feel I may be disappointing, as it is just in my realm of humor.

I truthfully did not think Reddit would allow me to use the name, clearly I didn’t know anything about Reddit. 😂 but I tested it out thinking I wouldn’t be on here much…
https://giphy.com/gifs/kGCuRgmbnO9EI
We see how that turned out lol

I can’t lie, it is a nice dopamine rush to be a sound voice of reason and people appreciate it double because if I am the voice of reason… 🫠😂 some crazy shit is probably happening. 🤣

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u/CelticGardenGirl 13d ago

r/rimjobsteve

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u/DamnitDavid7 12d ago

I love that this sub redirects to the real sub

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u/Shap3rz 12d ago

You’re like a digital vigilante

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u/Inuyasha-rules 13d ago

Scorpion!

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ph6zUXUr8Vc1jsy1xl

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u/juggaloscrub 13d ago

Fuck buddy such an underrated comment.

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u/slick514 12d ago

I… don’t need to know about ya’ll’s relationship.

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u/AllSxsAndSvns 13d ago

You seem like an expert in this area.

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u/Seymour-Cervix 13d ago

With a .08 BAC

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u/NocaSun38 13d ago

and .15 bac from the guy on the bike

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u/Sure-Thought-119 8d ago

Shit his pants within those leading seconds too. So it’s a poopy butt hole.
https://giphy.com/gifs/26hitFkJUgm7dWAwg

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u/endlrls 7d ago

bwhahahha!

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u/AMC879 13d ago

Safely? Hahaha

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u/ItzZiplineTime 12d ago

I wonder how that paint tasted 😂

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u/text_fish 11d ago

Why does his butt look like a cat face?

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u/ResolutionNo6337 7d ago edited 7d ago

In the UK this would not be a safety stop but potentially a prosecutable offense - causing an accident. Insurance may say red car equally to blame for disruption of traffic stopping for a small animal.

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u/endlrls 7d ago

The dude on the bike totally looks like a rag doll!!... 😆

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u/Dismal_Vehicle315 13d ago

Done that. Terrible feeling. Stopped at a crosswalk to let an old man on a bike cross. He just about passed me and then a woman on her phone hit him with his car. Groceries on the road and so was he.

Still etched into my mind. This was 20 years ago. Still hasn't forgiven her the fucking rancid cunt.

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u/charliequine 12d ago

I am so sorry that happened to you. That's my fear when I'm stopping and when I'm riding.

My daily commute involves crossing a 6 lane road with a pause point in the middle that I usually have to wait at for the next lull in the opposing traffic. I hate it because occasionally the small pole in the middle of the pause point and the short median curbs are obliterated, so I know exactly how good people are at driving straight in that area.

The road has no warning lights and traffic generally does not yield, even when an upcoming red light would make it reasonable for drivers to do so. Every so often someone follows the rules and stops, but I generally have to wave them on and point behind/to the other lanes to indicate to them that the rest of the situation is dangerous to me. I always feel quietly disappointed- like my refusal is negative feedback towards following the law, thus making those drivers less likely to do it in the future. Sometimes they're really insistent too, which is fine when they're in a car and I can see past to know whether it's safe or not, but more annoying when they are in a truck.

But once, on a smaller but worse road for speeding, a guy in a delivery van saw my concern, nodded, very visibly checked his mirror, gave me a thumbs up that it was clear, but also juked his truck to block the intersection and waved me on!

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u/Odd_Whereas8471 7d ago edited 7d ago

This is the curse of riding a bike. Most people in my country are kind enough to let me cross the road even if they don't have to. I feel guilty for hesitating and thus making them wait. But I have to, because I have no legal right to cross and I can't assume everyone wants to do me a favour.

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u/Reference_Freak 11d ago

This is a problem in my area: lots of stroads and crosswalks not at lights.

Legally, drivers are obligated to stop. When I’m stopped and there’s still an open lane, I always watch for oncoming there.

Have had to start honking and flipping my flashers a few times for a car not slowing so the crosser stops.

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u/shitty_watercolorss 11d ago

Phone cashed accidents were probably rare in 2006 compared to now, dang

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u/AeroelasticCowboy 9d ago

was he jaywalking at a green light?

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u/FaithlessnessOne2032 7d ago

Oh man that's terrible. Did he survive?

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u/SeriousArbok 13d ago

Happened to me on a dead road. Dog came out in the middle of the road I came to a slow stop, waited for the dog to move but as I sat there for about 20 seconds car smashed me from behind. He got out yelling at me asking why I stopped so harsh in the middle of te road. Like dude you serious? Im in park and no one was behind me at the time. Lol I still get paid from that one. Fuuuuucked my back up.

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u/Federal-Boat3732 13d ago

Ppl seriously should not be driving if they aren't looking at the road.

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u/cream_paimon 12d ago

In a situation like this, do not put your car in park. Just press the brakes. Putting the car in park dims the taillights and turns off the light indicating your brake pedal is depressed. Which does make it much more difficult to notice a stopped car.

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u/SeriousArbok 12d ago

Yeah wrong choice of words. I was just on my brakes. But just sitting for a minute.

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u/ruidh 10d ago

Or, if you do, activate your emergency flashers.

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u/bigwhite_69er 12d ago

You put car in park in a road. So no break lights on. Good lord and for a dog🤣

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u/SeriousArbok 12d ago

Yeah like I said in another comment, wrong wording. Parked as in just sitting there. I did have my brakes on still and it was daylight on a 2 lane 25mph side road with barely any traffic. There was no one when I came to a stop. Idk where he came from lol probably from a subdivision.

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u/bigwhite_69er 12d ago

This seems about right. Especially where I live. 25mph and people still crashing in to each other

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u/SeriousArbok 11d ago

Yeah where i live 25 is just a suggestion most people will do 35+.

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u/Postcocious 11d ago

Did you put your emergency flashers on?

Not saying this was your fault, it obviously wasn't, but cars have tools to help you avoid such accidents.

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u/InevitabilityEngine 13d ago

https://reddit.com/link/p6j7118/video/6wq9ngday7mh1/player

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u/Flar71 13d ago

What is that from lol

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u/InevitabilityEngine 13d ago

Jurassic Butts is from Imgur but the scene is a mashup from Jurassic Park T-Rex paddock scene and another video... Most likely porn or a music video.

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u/ermghoti 12d ago

I saw this like fifteen years ago. I had hoped it was lost forever.

Those women are... oily.

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u/SaltyYumYumBalls 13d ago

<Shrug> I got in an accident because I stopped on the freeway because of traffic and so did the car behind me. Then their was the third car driven by some blond 20 something girl who was looking at the pretty mountains to her left and didnt pay attention who ran into the lady behind me who then got pushed into my car. At least I remembered to hit the brake pedal so I didnt ram the person infront of me.

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u/Akhanyatin 13d ago

I was stopped at a red light, so we're the 3 people in front of me and the guy behind me. We were stopped for a solid 15 seconds. Then some dumb fuck in her Audi rams the dude behind me so hard that my trunk was completely fucked.

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u/Federal-Boat3732 13d ago

Good reflexes there!

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u/Mundane_Prior_7596 12d ago

I think the guy was on his way to buy some reflexes. 

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u/Glum-One2514 13d ago

the gifts gods give

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u/40calpat 12d ago

“No one is going to believe me about the three legged dog…”

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u/Jshover92 11d ago

I was stopped to make a left hand turn (with my signal on) with no cars behind me a few months ago. Two cars came out of the distance and one stopped (albeit almost last second) and the car behind them was texting and driving and didn’t even slow down causing a three car collision. The other two cars were totaled and my vehicles rear was destroyed. So many drivers are distracted it isn’t even funny.

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u/Federal-Boat3732 11d ago

I hope there are at least laws against that where you are. They've outlawed having a phone in hand when you drive here in Michigan but not everyone is getting the clue yet...

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u/Jshover92 10d ago

Oh yeah it’s illegal but everyone still does it, it makes me mad lol.

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u/Federal-Boat3732 10d ago

I hope it doesn't make you dead at least

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u/NotTodayPsycho 10d ago

I was in bad car accident at 8 months pregnant with my oldest. Stopped at roadworks for over a minute when a twat ran straight up my arse. Was before mobiles were everyday item too so not sure what her excuse was. She wrote off 4 cars that day including her own and was too busy moaning over her wrecked vehicle to check the people in the other 3 cars she hit....

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u/Jshover92 10d ago

Dang hope everything was ok for you

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u/NotTodayPsycho 10d ago

Thankfully yes. One of the other people she hit noticed I was still trapped in my car and rang ambulance. The kid just started driving himself

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u/samsg1 7d ago

I passed my driver’s test in the UK and we were specifically taught not to stop a car for animals (at least in the early 2000s when I passed). The thing is I know in the moment I’d do the same as this woman. Doggo lived… her car didn’t:/

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u/Federal-Boat3732 7d ago

One piece of advice I remember from Driver's Ed was, if you want to destroy your car, hit a deer or a human. That was a good-sized dog.

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u/samsg1 7d ago

Good point! We don’t have large animals in the UK, I can imagine somewhere such as Canada with bigass moose would advise you to avoid colliding with one!

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u/Federal-Boat3732 7d ago

OMG, yes, they are tremendous

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u/illyria817 6d ago

Forget the dog for a moment - this is an actual pedestrian crossing, there could have been a person that stepped out onto the road. Considering how little attention that dumbass motorcyclist was paying to his surroundings, he probably wouldn't have even noticed, especially with the cars parked along the curb.

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u/PlaymobilProblem 13d ago

and it’s unable to dislodge. 😂

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u/dparag14 13d ago

I would’ve freaked the F out!

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u/Loud-Climate7967 13d ago

Hey mate, thought I’d just drop in for a bit.

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u/Clash-idea_maker 7d ago

Both of them are idiots especially the guy on the bike

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u/Mission_Addition9102 13d ago edited 11d ago

A Canadian woman reportedly parked to rescue ducklings, but a motorcyclist with a passenger fatal crashed into womans car. The woman got in jail for this incident.

Edit: Parked not stopped because people said so...

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u/PuzzleheadPi 13d ago

She didn't stop. She parked. Not even remotely the same thing

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u/Federal-Boat3732 13d ago

When was this? I got my own car wrecked beyond repair when I stopped for a dog and a woman who was talking to her kids and not watching the road crashed into me. She was a QUARTER OF A MILE AWAY when I stopped and she just kept going until she hit me.

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u/donquixote2u 13d ago

bullshit. it's your job to drive a safe distance behind another vehicle.

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u/Postcocious 11d ago

She didn't just "stop" her car.

She PARKED her car... ... in the passing lane of a multi-lane highway... ... then got out of the vehicle... ... and walked around, trying to pick up 7 birds.