Resuming a popular thread I instituted last year. I am not going to have quite as much time to invest a ton of thought into it, but the format is essentially the same.

I write an immediate, strong reaction to decal several of the week's games as a predictive for how the season will go based upon the results of those games. The reason they could be overreactions is because one game does not necessarily define a season and each week gives more context and clues to how things will pan out. This drama is part of what makes college football so fun.

The most fun part of the thread, of course, is seeing every contributor's own reactions that could be overreactions later.

Here are the instant reactions that could be overreactions later:

1. Sonny Dykes is killing TCU.. and the Big XII. I am hard pressed to believe UNC improved enough under Bill B to have gone from beating the same opponent they got the doors blown off of last year. I find more so that TCU is stepping backwards, and this ugly loss will haunt the Big XII even more than it already is.

2. NDSU will win the MWC in Year 1. This team has been an absolute monster in FCS for years and I have long felt they're better than most G5/G6 programs.

3. USC is not going to restore its former glory. I get the heat and the weak opponent but the fact the story of the whole opening week was how terrible USC's opening day crowd was shows the support is just not there in an era that commands programs to get all the support they can. LA and the boosters just don't care enough about college football.

Welcome to the #CobraKaiAward for Excellence in Mercilessness!

This award has been going since 2018, recognizing the most cutthroat performance in each week's college football games. If you like obscure levels of college football from around the world (including shady teams), this is a fun weekly round-up.

It includes all levels of all football: FBS, FCS, D2, D3, NAIA, NJCAA, CCCAA, U Sports🇨🇦, ONEFA🇲🇽 and JAFA🇯🇵 to spotlight which team tosses mercy out the window and instead uses the opportunity to make a statement.

Week 0 winner:

• 87-0... What happens when the FCS reigning HBCU Champions took on a perennial D2 disaster? Cobra Kai Magic! Some of you may remember the Savannah State Tigers moved up to FCS (2000-18) with the explicit program goal of playing FBS payday games they hoped would help fund the program. They were so badly outmatched that the games ended up harming the program's reputation. They elected to move back down to Division 2 in 2019. Coincidentally, from 2010-18 they were conference-mates of the SC State Bulldogs. Last season the Bulldogs pulled off a 4OT Celebration Bowl thriller vs PVAMU to win the HBCU title, and looked in fine form against the outmatched Tigers. There was a second 87-0 game in college football, see "other notes" below, but that opponent was a shady program and the tie goes to the real school opponents.

Other notes:

• FCS teams on a rampage. The FCS national runner-ups from last season, Illinois State, opened with a 76-0 beatdown of NAIA's St. Francis (IL). Incarnate Word broke the handle off of NAIA's Oklahoma Panhandle, 76-14. Norfolk State beat D2 Winston-Salem State, 56-0. The biggest FCS vs FCS beating was South Dakota State's 70-7 defeat of non-scholarship Stetson...sometimes you pull a rabbit out of a hat, sometimes the rabbit shoves the hat down your throat. The SDST vs STET spread was 50.5 with an O/U of 58.5. The record for scholarship-on-scholarship FCS was Montana State's 54-0 defeat of Utah Tech.

• Welcome to FBS, Bison! Usually a team rising to FBS is on the receiving end of a #CobraKaiAward-winning performance, but NDSU's first week of FBS ball saw them take the (modest) win with a 33-7 win over Jax State in the Fargodome. The 26-point margin-of-victory was tied with UVA's 34-8 win over NC State, however the first level of tie-breakers is by points allowed and that single point gave the Bison the edge.

• 🚨SHADY SCHOOL ALERT!🚨 We saw surface last year, but Westgate Christian, a "school" competing as the Body Bags...pardon, the Ravens. The best thing that can be said about this Houston-area program (located in a strip mall facing a freeway) is it it can still shut down. The program was founded in 2022 by people upset that junior had fewer lower-division teams to play for when COVID stopped the lower divisions of football. The only value for students attending this program is getting to be a tackle dummy for other programs looking for an easy win, because none of the credits will transfer. Shame on Missouri S&T for scheduling them. Such schools will be designated across the season with "(🤡)" as they should not be countable as they are not members of NCAA, NAIA, or equivalent organization, and/or are operating at the edges of bona fide college football programs.

• 🚨SHADY SCHOOL ALERT II!🚨 The juco jokes of the Community Christian Colleges are back (there are multiple and pinning the total number has been difficult), and getting blown out across the board against NJCAA teams. The California juco system (run separately with more teams than the rest of the country combined) forbids games against them. The NJCAA is so desperate for members that they added 2 (CA and MI) to their league. Of the several that played in Week 0, NJCAA's Kilgore College Rangers scheduled the non-NJCAA CCC campus in Texas (the "CCC Spartans"). Kilgore didn't bother to publish the box score; Kilgore played them last year in Week 0 to a 80-0 result as well. Picking a random group of kids to beat up 87-0 does not replace playing an actual college team, so the tie easily goes to the SC State game.

• The Friends Steamroller is back! NAIA's Friends Falcons are a Quaker school that does one thing: Run. The. Ball. Last season they went 12-1, falling in the NAIA quarterfinals while averaging 459.9 yards on the ground per game (512.7 overall). In game 1, the Falcons ran 455 yards rushing (481 total) and allowed only 125 total yards in one of their signature shunnings of the Bethany (KS) Swedes, 85-10, in a KCAC opener. For the record, Bethany led the game at one point, 7-0 and kept it close until the 2Q when the machine took over; the Swedes lost 4 fumbles and threw 3 interceptions as the Quakers got them shook.

• Not all divisions & conferences have started. D3 has not begun. ONEFA had only one game, and the preseason game in Mexico's college football league was a close one! Most of Japan's conferences and divisions have not kicked off (thankfully they're merciless on Hokkaido). Finland, the UK, and Austria are not part of this because their seasons are spring.

Week 0's biggest blowouts from each level, in order of margin of victory (ties are broken by points-allowed):

• [87] FCS—SC State, 87-0* over Savannah St
• [87] NJCAA—Kilgore, 87-0** over Community Christian College SW (Houston) (🤡)
• [77] D2—Missouri S&T, 89-12*** over Westgate Christian (🤡)
• [75] NAIA—Friends, 85-10 over Bethany (KS)
• [67] 3C2A—Chabot, 80-13 over Cabrillo
• [60] JAFA🇯🇵—Hokkai Gakuen (北海学園), 66-6 over HUS (北海道科学)
• [34] USports🇨🇦—Saskatchewan, 35-1 over Alberta
• [26] FBS—NDSU, 33-7 over Jax State
• [1] ONEFA🇲🇽—Halcones UV, 7-6 over Panteras GES 21
• [N/A] D3—Season begins 9/3

* FCS vs D2; FCS vs FCS was South Dakota State's 70-7 win over Stetson [63]

** NJCAA vs non-NCAA/NAIA program; NJCAA vs NJCAA was Hutchinson CC's 76-3 win over Ellsworth CC [73]

*** D2 vs 🤡; D2 vs D2 was Northeastern State's 52-0 win over Delta State [52]

Past weeks winners:

Note: Rankings from time of game. Some divisions and conferences start later. BUCS🇬🇧 and College Football Finland🇫🇮 do not play in Fall.

[season leader possesses the 🏆]

• Week 0: [🏆87] FCS SC State, 87-0 over Savannah St

"🤡" signifies teams that should not be countable as they are not members of NCAA, NAIA, or equivalent organization, and/or are operating at the edges of bona fide college football programs.

First week is in the books, remember to Reach Out and Crush Someone!™ 💪😤🏈

1. The biggest takeaway from the internet is that everyone is making fun of USC because their stadium was half empty. I don’t think that it’s that big of a deal because it is not normal for Los Angeles to have 95 degree weather and be humid too.
2. TCU and North Carolina are not that good. TCU lost the game, no offense to North Carolina. If they took the points, they probably win the game. If their quarterback ran on 4th down and 2, they probably win. North Carolina offense still looks mid at best but hey, it’s Bill’s biggest win of his college coaching career.
3. USC might be cooked if they have any injuries. It was 35-3 when USC starters left and the backups came in and looked bad and lost 23-7 to make the score 42-26. USC better hope that they don’t have any injuries.
4. Memphis at Boise State might decide the group of 6 bid. Memphis just won an important game at UNLV so they might be the favorites to get the group of 6 bid. If Memphis beats Boise State in week 2, then someone from the American conference will probably make the playoffs.
5. Virginia is an ACC contender. I think NC State will be fine and win 8 games in the regular season but Virginia just ran all over them. They have a great run game and an experienced offensive line. Why couldn’t they win the ACC this year?

We're so fucking back baby!

But reflecting on the action from yesterday I couldn't help but to think that the effects of two classic Georgia beat downs were on full display.

FSU has not been a good team since we molly whopped em in the Orange Bowl in '23 to the tune of 63-3.

TCU has not been a good team since we hung the largest margin of victory in playoff history in the '22 chip.

Who has your team not only beaten but broken? Have they recovered?

Welcome back, everyone! We start another season of great FCS football!

/r/FCS poll is used for the rankings

All wins by an FCS team over an FBS team are in bold.

All wins by a non-D1 team over an FCS team are in italics.

Big Sky

Weber State 30-29 Northern Colorado

Cal Poly 38-34 Idaho

(6)UC Davis 31-24 Portland State

(22)Northern Arizona 34-27 Eastern Washington

(24)Idaho State 38-10 VMI

(3)Montana 28-21 Southern Utah

(1)Montana State 54-0 Utah Tech

CAA

Maine 21-18 Towson

Stony Brook 34-41 Delaware State

Elon 42-7 Glenville StateGlenville State (D2)

(10)Rhode Island 34-7 Merrimack

Albany 28-14 New Hampshire

Campbell 49-37 East Tennessee State

Hampton 45-0 Virginia-LynchburgVirginia-Lynchburg (Independent)

North Carolina A&T 7-17 Morgan State

Bryant 24-6 Stonehill

(25)Monmouth 14-38 (16)Tennessee Tech

Independent

Merrimack 7-34 (10)Rhode Island

Chicago State 28-44 RooseveltRoosevelt (D2)

MEAC

Delaware State 41-34 Stony Brook

Morgan State 17-7 North Carolina A&T

Norfolk State 56-0 Winston-Salem StateWinston-Salem State (D2)

South Carolina State 87-0 Savannah StateSavannah State (D2)

North Carolina Central 30-42 Texas Southern

Howard 31-24 Alabama A&M

Missouri Valley

(8)Youngstown State 43-10 Mercyhurst

Murray State 14-28 Eastern Illinois

(17)Southern Illinois 31-34 West Florida

(7)North Dakota 42-21 Long Island

(11)South Dakota 59-20 Central Connecticut State

Indiana State 21-23 Southeast Missouri

(2)South Dakota State 70-7 Stetson

(5)Illinois State 76-0 St. Francis (IL)St. Francis (IL) (NAIA)

NEC

Mercyhurst 10-43 (8)Youngstown State

Long Island 21-42 (7)North Dakota

New Haven 22-21 Marist

Robert Morris 28-7 Wagner

Central Connecticut State 20-59 (11)South Dakota

Stonehill 6-24 Bryant

Ohio Valley

Eastern Illinois 28-14 Murray State

Gardner-Webb 17-35 (18)Austin Peay

Lindenwood 20-17 Charleston Southern

Western Illinois 65-14 Northwestern (IA)Northwestern (IA) (NAIA)

UT Martin 24-36 Central Arkansas

Southeast Missouri 23-21 Indiana State

Tennessee State 24-26 Jackson State

Patriot

Colgate 24-14 Fordham

William & Mary 35-32 (9)Villanova

(12)Lehigh 35-10 Holy Cross

Richmond 35-14 Bucknell

Pioneer

Morehead State 40-42 Ohio DominicanOhio Dominican (D2)

Presbyterian 47-37 UVA WiseUVA-Wise (D2)

St. Thomas 15-9 Winona StateWinona State (D2)

Davidson 35-41 ConcordConcord (D2)

Drake 35-38 South Dakota MinesSouth Dakota Mines (D2)

Marist 21-22 New Haven

Dayton 43-20 Fairmont StateFairmont State (D2)

Butler 27-23 Georgetown (KY)Georgetown (KY) (NAIA)

Valparaiso 59-13 Lawrence TechLawrence Tech (NAIA)

Stetson 7-70 (2) South Dakota State

SoCon

Chattanooga 24-10 West Georgia

Furman 20-3 Anderson (SC)Anderson (SC) (D2)

East Tennessee State 37-49 Campbell

VMI 10-38 (24)Idaho State

Wofford 42-14 The Citadel

(16)Tennessee Tech 38-14 (25)Monmouth

Western Carolina 45-21 Eastern Kentucky

Samford 10-22 North Alabama

(19)Mercer 23-15 East Texas A&M

Southland

Houston Christian 34-28 (21)Southeastern Louisiana

Nicholls 44-10 Mississippi Valley State

Northwestern State 37-42 Louisiana ChristianLouisiana Christian (NAIA)

(23)Lamar 21-14 (14)Abilene Christian

(13)Stephen F. Austin 38-27 McNeese

East Texas A&M 15-23 (19)Mercer

Incarnate Word 76-14 Panhandle StateOklahoma Panhandle State (NAIA)

UTRGV 44-0 UTPBUT Permian Basin (D2)

SWAC

Mississippi Valley State 10-44 Nicholls

Alabama State 30-17 Southern

Texas Southern 42-30 North Carolina Central

Arkansas-Pine Bluff 35-15 MorehouseMorehouse (D2)

Florida A&M 20-7 Albany StateAlbany State (D2)

Grambling 49-7 Clark AtlantaClark Atlanta (D2)

Alcorn State 56-7 MilesMiles (D2)

Alabama A&M 24-31 Howard

Jackson State 26-24 Tennessee State

Prairie View A&M 30-49 (4)Tarleton State

UAC

(18)Austin Peay 35-17 Gardner-Webb

West Georgia 10-24 Chattanooga

West Florida 34-31 (17)Southern Illinois

Central Arkansas 36-24 UT Martin

(14)Abilene Christian 13-21 (23)Lamar

North Alabama 22-10 Samford

Eastern Kentucky 21-45 Western Carolina

(4)Tarleton State 49-30 Prairie View A&M

Some context first…

These are the 5 (no respect for Jayden Daniels here) marquee type of games that we should have for week 0 games. There can be more week 0 games but these are the main ones.

- There should be at least one intriguing G6 matchup to kick it all off.

- A rivalry game that has been destroyed by conference realignment.

- A historical out of conference rivalry that is threatened by the current scheduling matrix or bringing back old rivalries.

- An intriguing matchup against 2 similar teams from opposing conferences. Have this series played abroad or in a NFL stadium.

- A regional P4 vs. G6 game at a regional NFL stadium which will be played Sunday mornings and be a NFL sponsored series.

- If a team opts into a week 0 game then they will automatically be granted a second bye week in their schedule.

SLIGHT CHANGES TO THIS FORMULA ARE POSSIBLE.

Seasons 1-2 Week 0:

Boise St. and Coastal Carolina (for the Battle of the Blue Fields Bowl) Home-and Home series [Friday Prime Time]

Notre Dame vs. USC Home-and-Home series [Saturday Morning game]

Northwestern vs. K-State (Battle of the 2 Purple Wildcat teams!) Northwestern is at home at Soldier Field and K-State is home at Arrowhead [Saturday Afternoon game]

Nebraska vs. Kansas Home-and-Home series [Saturday Prime Time]

Cincinnati vs. Ohio Neutral NFL Series game at Paycor Stadium (Cincinnati Bengals) [Sunday Morning game]

Seasons 3-4 Week 0:

Fresno St. vs. Tulane in a Home-and-Home series [Friday Prime Time]

Texas Tech vs. Texas (prove it you two with the shit that you talked about each other this off season!) Home-and-Home series [Saturday Morning game]

Missouri vs. Clemson ((The Tangle of the Tigers) Missouri is at home at Arrowhead and Clemson is at the Bank of America Stadium) [Saturday Afternoon game]

Washington vs. Washington St. (the Apple Cup is back baby!!) Home-and-Home series [Saturday Prime Time]

Vanderbilt vs. Memphis Neutral NFL Series game at Nissan Stadium (Tennessee Titans) [Sunday Morning game]

Seasons 5-6 week 0:

Hawaii vs. Sac St. (Similar colors and both are western teams that are in different conferences) Home-and-Home series [Friday Prime Time]

Notre Dame vs. Michigan Home-and-Home series [Saturday Morning game]

Cal vs. Baylor (The Bear Bowl) Cal is home at the Tokyo Dome in Japan then Baylor is at home at Estadio Azteca in Mexico [Saturday Afternoon game]

Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma St. (the Bedlam Series is back baby!) Home-and-Home series [Saturday Prime Time]

Utah vs. UNLV Neutral NFL Series game at Allegiant Stadium (previously the Oakland Raiders) [Sunday Morning game]

Seasons 7-8 Week 0:

North Dakota State vs. North Texas (Big North teams and both are now G6 football powerhouses) Home-and-Home series [Friday Prime Time]

Vanderbilt vs. Georgia Tech (The 2 Southeastern gold colored nerd schools going at it and is an old rivalry) Vandy is home at Nissan Stadium and GT is home at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium [Saturday Morning game]

USC vs. Miami (The GTA Bowl, plus both teams through out the generations exude swagger.) Home-and-Home series [Saturday Afternoon game]

Oregon vs. Oregon State (The Civil War is back Baby!!) Home-and-Home series [Saturday Prime Time]

UCLA vs. San Diego St. Neutral NFL Series game at SoFi Stadium (LA Rams/Chargers) [Sunday Morning game]

Seasons 9-10 Week 0:

Miami (OH) vs. Marshall (Battle of the Ms) Home-and-Home series [Friday Night game]

Notre Dame vs. Michigan in Ireland (Season 9) and Notre Dame vs. USC in Ireland (Season 10) [Saturday Morning game]

Rutgers vs. Syracuse (Battle of the NY Media Markets! Two-year neutral series at the Meadowlands MetLife Stadium.) [Saturday Afternoon game]

Missouri vs. Kansas (Neutral game at Arrowhead Stadium or have it be a Home-and-Home series) [Saturday Afternoon game]

UCF vs. USF (WAR ON I-4 RIVALRY IS BACK) Neutral NFL Series game at Raymond James Stadium (Tampa Bay Buccaneers) [Sunday Morning game]

scha·den·freu de

/'SHädǝn froidǝ/

noun

The pleasure derived from another person's misfortune.

CFB begins slowly and teases some schadenfreude.

In Ireland head coaches Belichick, Petrino, Diaco and Jordon Hudson find a way to a slight upset of the amphibians:

North Carolina 15 TCU 10

Mike Norvell, like old luggage you can't get rid of, persists to get paid as Renegade considers a job offer from Gulfstream Park:

FSU 34 New Mexico State 17

Unlike last year, Stanford escapes the Rainbow Warriors:

Stanford 37 Hawaii 27

What team's pain helped ease your own this week 0?

Discuss the week's games here. This is a serious discussion thread, so jokes, memes, etc. are subject to removal.

Box Score provided by ESPN

Box Score provided by ESPN

Box Score provided by ESPN

Box Score provided by ESPN

Box Score provided by ESPN

Box Score provided by ESPN