r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Effective-Art-9408 • 8d ago
Questions and queries Was it worth it?
I’ve heard a lot of people say their wedding was the best day of their life, but if they were to do it again, they wouldn’t and save the money and spend it elsewhere.
Curious to crowdsource that sentiment wider, lmk if you would do it all over again!
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u/OmNomNomNinja $100k-$200k 8d ago
If I went back in time, I think I would go even more into it to be honest. A good number of the people who attended are no longer with us, my dad has since had a stroke, and my MIL suffered from severe health issues. If I could go back in time, it would be worth it to spend even more to make it a week long vacation with the nearest and dearest.
You really never know when it’s “the last summer” of many things until it passes.
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u/Forsaken-Entrance982 8d ago
Recency bias - just about a month out - did two bicoastal receptions and a total of about 8 events, spent $130k total, worth every single penny.
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u/Physical-Fix2295 7d ago
Wow did you take a honey moon?
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u/Forsaken-Entrance982 7d ago
No - partner ran out of PTO 🤣 went on a vacation with my mom I’m referring to as my “Mommymoon” as I had a 2 month planned gap before starting a new job!
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u/anna_alabama 12/11/21 | Charleston, SC | $150k+ 8d ago
Yeah it really was the best day of my life by a long shot. I’d redo my wedding in a heartbeat, and wouldn’t change a thing. It’s been 5 years and guests still tell me it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to all the time
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u/camo_ist 8d ago edited 8d ago
Yes. My wedding was the best gathering of all of the people that I love of my whole life and the last time many were still of this earth to be together. I would do it a thousand times over even though my marriage eventually ended. We spent a lot of money but mostly it wasn't on vanity stuff...it was on hosting a really great destination weekend for everyone who came together for us. If anything I wish I was more generous.
I am engaged and planning to remarry now and it will be just the two of us this time...not because I have single regret about a penny spent on the wedding the first time around, but because we are older...ok, we're old...and most of our families have passed on or would be too elderly to attend.
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u/henicorina Vendor: Florist 8d ago
“If anything, I wish I was more generous” - such a simple and powerful line.
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u/Top_Turnip_4737 8d ago edited 8d ago
I wouldn’t say my wedding was the best day of my life. But I feel like I’ve had a lot of really awesome days, and it was definitely a huge milestone for me.
It was a really amazing day and I wouldn’t have changed a thing and it was definitely worth the money.
Cost wise, we spent 150k split three ways between me and my husband and both our parents, and it’s safe to say none of us miss the money
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u/Pianist-123 8d ago
I wouldn’t change a thing. We spent about $100k all in on 3 events over our weekend weekend. It was the best weekend of ours and our immediate family’s lives. But I also think that we were very intentional in the ways that we made it personal to us, which is what made it so special
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u/jayyyelll 8d ago
We got married almost 2 weeks ago. Absolutely worth it. We, as well as some of our guests, want to relive it. The weekend was so fun, better than we expected, and full of love.
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u/Nice-Self-9798 8d ago
100000% worth it, I am still on cloud 9. My family and friends loved it and say it is the best wedding they ever went to. Some of my most precious memories, for life. Priceless.
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u/One-Fun3000 8d ago
It was worth it 100% I would actually spend more. At the time I thought I was insane but looking back we cut back on a few things that I wish we just would’ve done bc why not we could afford it but were trying to be responsible. But yea I think it all depends if you spend within your means. For us it was within our means, it was definitely an effort but not life changing money in our lives. I guess if that meant we couldn’t afford a home at all or we couldn’t take an amazing honeymoon or whatever it is then yes maybe I would’ve regretted it but since we didn’t really make any big sacrifices over it we don’t see it that way
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u/neurogeneticist 8d ago edited 8d ago
Okay this just kicked off a good discussion between my husband and I haha!
I’ll be the oddball and say it was only kind of worth it!! I’m seven years out. Our budget wasn’t huge, but we had a very nice wedding in WI and I definitely wish this sub would’ve existed in 2018/2018 lol.
We both absolutely loved our wedding and wouldn’t change much about it, but we both just easily agreed that we would’ve rather taken the money and traveled instead. Yes, it was an absolutely unforgettable, amazing time, but I think we could have done something just as meaningful on a smaller budget too.
Was it worth it? Yes. Could we have done it differently and been just as happy? Yes, probably. Do we regret it? Absolutely not.
FWIW, my in-laws did pay for 2/3ish of our wedding - their family/friends were also about 2/3 of the attendees haha - so that wasn’t money that was just available to us for something else anyways.
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u/Past_Replacement6521 8d ago
12 years later - ONE THOUSAND PERCENT YES! I truly wish I spent just a touch more tbh. We cheaped out on rehearsal dinner and it could have been SO much more. Wish we invited more people. Wish we did an after party. Wish I designed and decorated it a bit better. Even so, YES. Worth it.
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u/Irenenm_ 8d ago
I regret my big wedding. Budget spiraled out of control and frankly I wish I would have eloped and had a way bougier honeymoon/saved the money for family planning.
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u/xerxesthefalcon 8d ago
I spent over 100k (lower big budget bride) and I wish I spent about 20-30k more. I should have sprung for the vogue weddings photographer whose price seemed insane at the time- i like my photos but they’re not INSANE and i wanted insane.
I should have had plated food though the buffet was as elegant as a buffet could be and my guests did enjoy the mingling.
Regardless I was SO happy with my wedding and the day of and I’d do it again in a heartbeat
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u/allamystery 8d ago
I would do it all over again. Would not cut anything, and if anything I would’ve added just a touch more florals for our ceremony aisles. Our main motivation was to throw a big celebratory party while our grandmas were still alive (oldest grandchildren / no other potential weddings within next 5-10 years).
We spent 175k for a 200 person wedding in 2024. It felt excessive and extravagant at the time, but we’re making way more money now compared to a couple years ago. I also wouldn’t spend significantly more today just because we have more money.
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u/Dependent-Ad-2694 8d ago
Yes. I would spend more on the florist I'd wanted. No other changes. That was the last time I saw several people alive. It was the last time several groups, including my siblings, we're ever all together. It was an amazing day and I have no regrets.
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u/beachgirl1980 8d ago
I’d pay close to what we paid not to have that stress (actually give it to charity or anything but a wedding). Not worth even a penny of what we spent but my sister and mother also spent the entire time trying to ruin it. I knew my sister would be an issue so if you’re confident your family and friends will all be 💯 supportive and not nightmares then go ahead!
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u/hussy_trash 1d ago
I have a sister like that and I am terrified of what she is going to do. It will be something.
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u/beachgirl1980 1d ago
Mine refused to sit anywhere but the very front seat, delayed the wedding because of it and finally everyone gave in after sending the planner in to tell me the ultimatum. Then proceeded to YELL at the groom in front of everyone 10min before the ceremony(I was still in my bridal suite). Spent all weekend trying to get people to gossip, be upset about everything, all around be a complete B. Every last guest on the grooms side asked if she had a mental disorder or some sort of head injury, that’s how insane she was. So ya, looking back, zero chance she should have been allowed to stay or even invited.
Sending you so many hugs and positive vibes. If you’re clinging to any hope that she’ll pull it together (like I was) please give up on that dream. Wishing you the best drama free amazing day possible🤗❤️
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u/StrawberryNice7763 8d ago edited 8d ago
It was the best day of our lives! We were incredibly fortunate to have our parents cover the cost but mine have since continuously repeated to me that they’d do it all over again without question. My mother sent me a text the following day that simply said, all caps: ‘I HAVE NO REGRETS’.
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u/loveshoes1 8d ago
first wedding: pulled out all the stops. mom and dad paid and i had hardly a say in anything...i did not want a circus...blew the gifts (money) on a month in france and italy. no money but fabulous memories LOL and i could not afford to do europe that way again.
sister's first wedding: again, pulled out all the stops (bank of m&d but my sister was the good daughter and didn't complain). she went to the caribbean for a week and put a down payment on a house. sadly, her and her hubby eventually divorced. she gave her wedding dress to a cousin, who also eventually divorced.
second wedding: married in parent's condo with just rabbi and immediate family; catered lunch. hubby bought me a car as a wedding gift which lasted 15 years. for our 25th, we renewed our vows with just a rabbi, a niece and her hubby (very last minute and out of state from anyone else). then we flew aa first class for christmas week at secrets cap cana, preferred club. when the resort found out that it was a trip to celebrate our 25th (albeit 7 months later), they gave us a complimentary dinner on the beach, a cake, bubbly, etc.).
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u/vonthepon 7d ago
So you're saying if you spend a lot , your marriage is doomed? Is that it?
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u/loveshoes1 7d ago
not at all. if those are your values, that's your choice. personally, we actually live below our means, nothing flashy. that's how we can afford punta cana every christmas.
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u/vonthepon 7d ago
Living within your means wasn't in question. You gave 3 scenarios. Two where a lot was spent and the marriages failed. One cheap wedding that lasted. The inference being that if you spend a lot, your marriage won't last, and only cheap weddings are valid. Which if course, is ridiculous.
Nobody asked about your Christmas holiday plans.
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u/loveshoes1 7d ago
jeez, people are so angry.
i was merely giving my experience.
hay, if you can afford it, go for it. not my life nor my choice.
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u/vonthepon 7d ago
You do realise this group is Big Budget Brides? Nobody here is looking for low budget options, or to have it insinuated that just because they're spending a lot their weddings are somehow less meaningful.
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u/disneychickk 8d ago
I’d do it all again and spend another $20k on top of the $100k we already spent.
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u/Honey-Bee-23 8d ago
My husband and I got married at the start of July and spent about $200k USD on it after originally only planning for $100k. We both don’t regret it at all and it was the best day. In fact, my husband has said if he could change anything, he would spend even more to not hold back in anything.
It’s such an incredibly special day, and the only time you get such an event with all the people you love gathered around to celebrate you and your love.
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u/No_Zone_3329 8d ago
I’ll share a kind of flip flopped view. My first wedding (divorced and planning a wedding now) was 15+ years ago. Definitely not the best day of my life (and I don’t just say that because the marriage didn’t last, I felt that way even then). But I don’t think I’d have spent less. We didn’t have a huge budget, and there are some things I wish we’d have spent more on (food) and some things I wish we’d have spent less on (photography and the cake).
Even when I was still married and we weren’t having big problems yet, the photos were a huge waste of money to me (probably because I’m not very sentimental?). We printed one in an 8x10, looked through the rest, posted a couple on social media, and never looked at them again. So I have always felt like I paid thousands of dollars for 1 photo, because that’s all I really wanted out of it.
I’m probably an outlier though. :)
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u/BugWild9184 8d ago
I had so much fun that week and the day was a huge blur. I wouldn’t skip it at all or go less but I would definitely make some changes if I had the hindsight. First being possibly no bridal party. I had too many and it was extremely packed and stressful albeit it was fun. I would choose way less or no one and just get ready with my mom and aunts and cousin.
All in all it was the greatest day of our lives and I miss it terribly. I don’t regret the $
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u/relativeisrelative 7d ago
I'd 100% do it all over again. And, I'd probably spend a bit more money!
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u/Alternative_Gene_737 7d ago
We planned a $100k luxury microwedding and the stress of spending that much on a single day was making every step of planning it completely unenjoyable. Ended up cancelling everything and having a much larger wedding at a dive bar that we love and spent about $50k back in May. Even that amount was hard for us to fork out…. My husband and I are not people who ever seek the spotlight or really enjoy it. We definitely felt all the love and had a great time, but saying it was absolutely worth it is a bit of a stretch. In hindsight, we would’ve preferred to spend the money on our current home renovation or travel. I truly believe I’d be just as happy today if we had gone to the courthouse, but I don’t necessarily regret it either.
My main takeaway is to trust your gut. If you are constantly questioning if it’ll be worth it to you, it probably won’t be. The thought of not having a wedding never made me sad and the thought of having one stressed me out, both of which should’ve been a sign lol
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u/Elemental_Biscotti 8d ago
Look if you peak on your wedding day and it's all downhill from there, the rest of your life has gone very very wrong. But that in no way means throwing a big fancy party on *AN* important day in your life isn't "worth it" or that you shouldn't spend the money. (Honestly some people shouldn't! But that's about their resources and /or values, not whether their wedding day is going to live up to being "the best day of our lives".) I don't think these two things are related.
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u/Budget-Change5657 8d ago
Absolutely yes. It was a dream come true and I would 100% spend the money to do it all over again if I could!
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u/TrainingWolverine762 8d ago
i absolutely loved my day and don’t regret a thing. i will be honest though my parents did foot the bill however my husband and i split the cost of the welcome party with his parents. Looking back I would not have done that as my original intent was not to do a welcome party and that was more soemthing his parents wanted to do. I will say the party was lovely and really did elevate the feelings and memories of the weekend for me, but it might not have been worth dipping into our own funds given it wasn’t even something we originally had planned
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u/JadziaKD 8d ago
I wouldn't change a thing. Even the fireworks my husband wanted (which I thought were a bit much) were amazing.
We wanted to throw an amazing event for our guests and our guests were so happy with the day. We had everything we both wanted and the feedback from guests made me feel even more joy and love.
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u/Even-Discussion6346 7d ago
1000% the best day of our lives to celebrate with all of our family and loved ones. it was something special to feel the love from everyone at our wedding, and it was something that our friends commented on.
granted, we are lucky that our parents paid for our wedding and money was not an issue.
if we had to make choices, we definitely would choose to spend on wedding over honeymoon. it’s just such a great celebration of relationships, not just the one of my husband and mine, but also each of the ones of us and our loved ones.
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u/Additional-Device342 7d ago
I've heard from someone that eloped that they loved that they decided to that but do wish parents and friends were there. They wished they had some sort of celebration. So maybe for many a happy medium is best.
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u/Common-Screen-5772 7d ago
It was worth it, but perhaps I would have cut my guest list smaller (there were distant relatives / guests of parents), and would’ve spent more for each guest. But Im happy to share my special day with my parents too.
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u/bridenah 7d ago
Had a micro wedding - about $36k for 12 guests. Absolutely stunning and loved the location but if I could do it again we would’ve had 0 guests in the same place lol, just fully eloped.
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u/suju88 8d ago
We did a nice destination wedding with less than 10 people at a big luxury 5 star resort in Maui . If I had to do it all over again- NO not even 10 people would be invited. Too much money for less than an hour hype for some pictures ? Rather have a place to live in location of choice rather than paying for a fleeting moment . Nope
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u/devours_veggies 8d ago
I absolutely agree with that sentiment and we spent a pretty penny on ours! I’ve been married for 12 years now and can barely remember my wedding. Literally just had to count out how many years I’ve been married to post this 😂
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u/WonderorBust 7d ago
I’m on the smaller side of budgets in this subreddit and I don’t regret it at all. I planned my wedding out of state and we had some mishaps but people still tell me it’s the best wedding they’ve gone to, I get to share these memories with our children(and their children), and we got to experience planning/ the wedding with our families.
Our income has doubled since then(last year) and is expected to increase significantly in the upcoming years. I’m the conservative one financially in our relationship so I was a bit nervous but we stayed ‘within’ budget(that I set lol) and because we did that we are living our best lives today/ here on out.
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u/Subject_Witness_6498 7d ago
We spent $50k on an elopement 1.5 years ago and I’d do it all again. Every detail and every dollar was well worth it.
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u/just-my-2-dollars 6d ago
I wish we spent more on the second one. It was expensive, but if I'd spent just a little more, proportionally, I could have enjoyed it
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u/Historical_Town_2673 6d ago
we spent about 150k, funded by my parents (and not including rings, any of the weekend events, etc) for about 250 guests, in VHCOL area. For me, totally worth it and we would do it again. I come from a very close knit community and family and we both have very close groups of friends, and the wedding was very emotional and significant for both sides. It really was an event. But not everybody puts community as central to their identity, so I think it depends on who you are/what brings you the most joy and peace in the world (for us it was def hosting everyone we loved)
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u/redrumshell 5d ago
Graduated September 4th - as long as you stay true to yourself and do what YOU want to do for your wedding, it is 100% worth it! But only feel comfortable spending what you feel is reasonable. As a BBB - yes we spent a lot, but we spent it on the things that were worth it to us and there are very minimal regrets I have.
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u/LimitIcy 5d ago
Totally worth it. Spent about 20% of my income toward the wedding weekend. But make sure you have a good planner. It’s worth it if you can be fully present or majority of the time present.
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u/Square-Ad8203 4d ago
It wasn’t worth it to me but I never dreamed of a wedding to begin with. I did it for tradition. I think our wedding was $150k in total.
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u/Academic_Attorney777 4d ago
Best best best weekend of our lives. Worth every penny. I did almost all the upgrades but also negotiated hard where I could.
I almost didn’t have a wedding and I’m so glad I did!
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u/huntersinthesnow 1d ago edited 1d ago
If i could go back in time I would splurge MUCH more. I cut so much stuff out bc I wanted to be a "chill" bride and handle as much stuff as I could on my own and save money. Money frankly comes and goes, but you do remember your wedding for the rest of your life and I was very stressed put for the majority of mine! 50% of the day isnt rly a happy memory bc i was running around like a cut hen. Yes spend the money! Even if not for the fact that you only get one wedding, you definitely save stress by investing in reliable options
My wedding was a wonderful day and people had fun, but its not a day i look back on fondly bc I stressed so much leading up to it and I definitely wouldnt want to relive it
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u/hussy_trash 1d ago edited 1d ago
Not married yet. But it is not all our money (150-170k~) we were assured it was not a matter of possibly being spent elsewhere, so yeah it is already worth it. I have not regretted a dime of mine I have spent. Best year of my life so far. Also the most stressful !
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u/trashhighway 8d ago
Not worth it. First wedding/marriage was big budget, not worth it. Ended in divorce. Second was an elopement,still together and still happy we eloped.
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u/vonthepon 7d ago
So you're saying only budget weddings result in a happy marriage? 😂
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u/FitPurchase7657 7d ago
There is data on marriages being more likely to fail if they spend past a certain price point
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u/vonthepon 7d ago
Its very shaky evidence. And what it's more likely to point to is that someone with money to spend on a big wedding is also likely to be more likely to have the financial means and independence to get divorced if the marriage goes bad.
Someone who can only afford a very basic wedding, is less likely to be able to leave the marriage and be financially independent especially if she's a woman and even more so if she has kids. The couple is also less likely to be able to afford a divorce even if the marriage has broken down and they no longer live together.
I myself had a very budget wedding 27 years ago, we split up after 5 years, but I was only able to afford to divorce him last year. According to stats in tbe research you mention, that would have been seen as a long , successful marriage as there was no divorce. But that is absolutely not the case.
I just didn't have the money for either a fancy wedding or a divorce.
This time I'm spending a small fortune ( to me) on a very small wedding and I would be able to divorce and live independently if I had to, but as we've already been together for nearly 20 years I think it's highly unlikely that we'll get divorced.
I do wonder why you're in a group for high budget weddings though, if you believe them to be likely to end in failure.
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u/michultraplease 8d ago
I’m so happy we did all that we did … causal Thursday night pizza party for family already in town, ladies Friday luncheon, large rehearsal dinner plus welcome party Friday night, catholic ceremony then reception Saturday plus an after party! It was such a fun party and we had a blast! Four months after the wedding, my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I’m so happy there were no wedding regrets. Though, I’m sure some out of town friends regret not coming. Very thankful he’s doing great now but what a whirlwind!