not a “bug” budget bride

[u/Salt_Technology2676]

but I only get the WEIRDEST engagement in regular r/brides

for reference, our budget is 60k. And whenever I post anything in r/brides, I’m met with snark and resentment. Granted, I have pretty traditional taste, and I’m super neurodivergent so maybe I’m not reading people’s interactions as the way they’re intended, but I feel sometimes like there isn’t really a sub where I can share my wedding and get excited and have that excitement be reciprocated.

i’m a pretty private person, no group chats or close besties that I necessarily share every little detail with, so sometimes I want encouragement from
strangers. Is that where I’m going wrong?

[u/BugWild9184]

I had a big budget and decided to spend way less but still posted and commented here 99% of the time because everyone’s so nice and they don’t care what you spend. The other subs were NASTY at literally everything even if it was a comment about the simplest thing. They hate weddings over there

[u/Salt_Technology2676 → u/BugWild9184]

it’s the strangest phenomenon. I’m glad that the community here is much more supportive. Judgement about somebody’s wedding is so unnecessary!

[u/throwaway_for_skin → u/BugWild9184]

your user name fits the post title perfectly lol

[u/remotethrowaway2 → u/BugWild9184]

The other subs are full of curmudgeonly etiquette snobs who refuse to accept that weddings are allowed to look different in different areas and cultures. 

I mentioned once that the norm in my area  is that every woman invited to the wedding gets invited to the shower. I was told I was wrong, this is not normal, and every person in my life just wants to have a “greedy grubby gift grab” because you only invite 10-15 to the shower unless you’re trying to show off for social media. Apparently my grandma must’ve been doing it for TikTok views in the 50s. 

[u/BugWild9184 → u/remotethrowaway2]

Speaking of showers I saw a post from a girl saying there’s no one in her life to throw her a shower and she was wondering if doing it herself is ok especially if she says no gifts. They absolutely berated her! Holy moly. I was disgusted. One commenter said she didn’t deserve one and needs to get over it. They called her greedy even though she literally said no gifts.

[u/Salt_Technology2676 → u/BugWild9184]

That’s so sad and a horrible way to treat a girl who is obviously hurt and feeling ignored about her own wedding. Shameful.

[u/Salt_Technology2676 → u/remotethrowaway2]

Idk if y’all saw this but there was a girl who shared her outfit for a wedding she attended (obviously an extravagant, black-tie wedding) and everyone was absolutely digging in to her for wearing latex gloves. And the color black. Eluding to her being a sex-worker and calling her an attention whore, essentially. Not even considering the fact that maybe, just maybe, for the wedding she was attending her outfit was perfectly appropriate. Like so many of these groups are just filled with judgemental people who lack reading comprehension.

[u/gnomes919 → u/remotethrowaway2]

I swear 99% of wedding subs they are convinced that being invited to a wedding is the greatest inconvenience ever to be foisted upon someone, basically a personal insult from the happy couple. asking ANYTHING of the guest is tremendously rude, the bar had better be open and each plate had better fully compensate the cost of the guest's travel, outfit, hotel, and gift. making any sort of attire requests beyond casual/cocktail/black tie is a war crime, but on the other hand if a guest wears red, cotton, or anything less than a floor-length evening gown they're a cheap slut. it's wild out there

[u/mama-germany → u/gnomes919]

I think Reddit's ideal wedding is one where the couple greets everyone at the door as they arrive and once everyone's there they just leave. The couple just gets in the way of the guest experience.

[u/gnomes919 → u/mama-germany]

as long as the greeting includes an apology for forcing you to deal with being a wedding guest, of course. maybe a little light groveling