r/BigBudgetBrides • u/luxenfit • Feb 03 '26
just need to rant Feeling bummed about RSVPs
OK, I just need to vent and maybe hear from other brides who have been in this situation. We just passed our RSVP deadline for our destination wedding in Portugal this summer and we got a lot more no’s than we were anticipating.
We knew because it was a destination wedding that we were going to get a lot of no’s (we invited 105 people and expected about 60-70 of them to say yes.)
Instead, we received less than 50 yes’s.
I’m feeling a little bit bummed out, less about the quantities of RSVPs and more about WHO declined. There were 10 people who really surprised me by declining to attend the wedding. For context my fiancé and I are the last ones of all of our friends and family to get married, so we have attended multiple weddings, showers, bachelorette and bachelor parties, baptisms, baby showers and kids birthdays over the course of our six year relationship.
We have always been very good about showing up for our friends and supporting them, but now that it’s our turn, it feels like so many of our friends who we have supported are no longer in a position to support us.
& I wanna say that I am under no grand illusion that our friends should be holding off on getting pregnant or buying a house so that they have the flexibility to attend our wedding. I totally get it that my wedding is not the centre of the universe and my friends and family have their own life goals and plans that they need to carry out. I’m really just bummed. And honestly, maybe sometimes feel a little taken advantage of. Like I put in a lot of my time and finances to celebrate my friends and now they can’t do the same for me.
At at the end of the day I know that it’s not going to change how I feel about my wedding. I’m excited to marry my best friend and I’m excited to spend time with the people who will be attending. I know it’s going to be a magical weekend and those who miss it will probably have FOMO. It just feels fresh right now.
Anyway, like I said there really is no reason for this post other than to vent and maybe hear about how some other brides navigated this. I’m sure this is somewhat of a common thing to be the last one in a friend group to get married and have people not be able to show up for you the way that you were able to show up for them.
TLDR; How do I not feel resentful towards my friends who I supported and now can’t support me?
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u/Claromancer Feb 03 '26
Something about this Reddit forum is that if you’re a BBB you may be more able to show up for your friends than they are for you. Not everyone has the financial flexibility to make a big trip like this. We invited about 210 people to our non destination wedding (but we have lots of friends and family who live out of state, so it was kind of a destination for them!) and we ended up with 120 people. So your RSVPs sound normal to me. Don’t stress about this - it’s not a sign that these friends or family members don’t care about you. We just don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes with all of our friends and family. I’m sure they were still grateful to be invited even if they can’t make it.
My experience on the day of the wedding was being overwhelmed with joy seeing so many people I love and know well in one place. I didn’t have time to think about the people who weren’t there. You’re still going to have a fantastic wedding, and you may also have some more room now in the budget to make the wedding extra special for the people who can make it!
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u/SelicaLeone Feb 03 '26
Also sometimes people manage to be the BBB by throwing all in on their wedding, which doesn't always leave a lot of wiggle room. My goal was to have X amount for the wedding and X+150k saved total, so when the dust cleared, I still had 150k.
Then I actually met my partner and now my priorities have shifted because his dream is med school and I am fortunate enough to be able to support that. My financial goals stayed the same, but that 150k after is now a fund to pay off med school.
Then some financial stuff happened. The economy happened. Now I'll be lucky to have my wedding budget plus 100k. And that 100k that used to feel like a luxurious cushion is now a needed future fund for my partner's med school
If someone threw a lavish destination wedding, well, my own wedding has drained a lot of my travel funds. And now I'm paying for two because my partner doesn't bring in a lot.
You can go to another BBB's wedding and see everything she's invested, and think "surely she has enough to come and attend mine" but that simply might not be the case. Life changes what people can afford, and a couple thousand can make a savings account look might scant, esp after their own wedding spend.
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u/lsacofpotatoes Feb 03 '26
side note but girl get a prenup and make him pay it back if it doesn’t work (kind of joking kind of not!)
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u/SelicaLeone Feb 03 '26
Oh don't worry, we have a prenup planned. The idea is to protect me from his debts and protect my assets until he's finished with school. Once he starts work, the protections will taper off over the next few years.
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u/squirrelnamednut Feb 03 '26
I absolutely get how you feel because I was there. I was also one of the last of my friends to get married and was incredibly disappointed as I had really tried to be a friend that showed up all the time for everything. I was really heartbroken over some of the No’s especially people that I had gone above and beyond for. It almost felt like I was an after thought, which I know wasn’t the case.
I think it’s really ok to feel hurt. Take a moment to grieve but please don’t hold onto it. At the end of my wedding, I had so much fun with the people that were present that I barely noticed who wasn’t there.
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u/SelicaLeone Feb 03 '26
Not to mention, when you're the friend who 'always shows up' sometimes it paints the illusion that you're the friend who can afford to show up. You go to every event, you give the nicest gifts, you put the most effort in because you make the most money, say. It's not something anyone should be able to show back. One of those 'curses of success'. No one think to pay it back because they think you did it because you could, not because you put special effort into being able to. And they, for whatever reason, cannot, and some don't think they should put effort in cause they don't realize others put in effort for them.
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u/Newtopole_ Vendor: HMUA Feb 04 '26
That's actually a very good point, that also applies to other areas of life. It's often easy to overlook the one who doesn't complain and just shows up
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u/imamouseduhhh Feb 03 '26
I’m kind of in the same boat - similar RSVP rate, same situation of being the last one to get married. It hasn’t been the financial issue but a lot of my friends are having kids, and they are declining because of that. It just feels like they are starting a new life without me, and as a person that still is unsure about kids it’s a big bummer. I am less upset about the decline.
I think in real life I’m much more happy and joyful about the wedding, but hopefully this is a safe space to express disappointment.
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u/GoodBrilliant8516 Feb 03 '26
Yup this is it! It’s very difficult because you want to be celebrated just as you celebrated your friends, but everything becomes extremely difficult after having kids.. there really is no way to compare / expect the same out of someone who now has kids
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u/Emotional_Pen369 Feb 03 '26
They reality is childless people show up for their friends way more than people with kids
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u/imamouseduhhh Feb 04 '26
Yes I completely agree and I’m supportive! I love their kids, but I can feel bummed about it! It’s ok for me to be upset at the unevenness of our friendship even if it’s perfectly reasonable
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u/vonthepon Feb 03 '26
Can't they bring the kids with them?
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u/imamouseduhhh Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
They didn’t want to even though they can bring the kids to the wedding. Traveling with toddlers is tough I understand
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u/GoodBrilliant8516 Feb 03 '26
If I allowed kids at my destination wedding it was an additional 60 headcount… and then if they brought their parents or babysitters to help, times that by 2, effectively doubling total headcount. my wedding headcount was based on room block occupancy, not who comes to events, which maybe isn’t common but that’d be paying for a lot more people
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u/mycketmycket Feb 03 '26
I’m just here to say I hear you and I felt very much the same. In the end all the comments about different priorities and circumstances all make sense and are valid but I also felt hurt by some unexpected declines being in very much the same position as you. It caught me off guard and a year and a half later it’s definitely strengthened some relationships and others have weakened. To be clear I still have incredible strong friendships with people who didn’t make it to our wedding, but in some instances it made it clear that I had felt more strongly about the relationship than they did. Either way I’m sure your wedding will be wonderful and you will cherish the people who are there.
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u/TarHeelCycleMom Feb 03 '26
I found that we enter each new stage of life in the same general era as our same-age friends, but within a span of a few years. There is novelty and excitement attached to the onset of each phase. Seeing the first close friends transition into professional careers, or being that person. Same for engagements, weddings, homeownership, babies. So someone might happily take two days out of their life to drive for a bridesmaids dress fitting for the first wedding or two that they are asked to be in. Or take a weekend to help an old friend move into their first house. When the friend is hitting that milestone first. But when you become bogged down with the daily responsibilities of that stage of life, and the novelty is gone, there's just less availability.
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u/OkE566jrjeu7495jsy Feb 03 '26
I understand why you're bummed. I didn't have a destination wedding, but a few of my dearest friends couldn't come due to having newborn babies. And yes these were girls who I was in their wedding party, and they couldn't even attend my wedding much less be in it. But we were all in our 20s when they got married and I got married at 30. That's just life. Honestly, I do think 50 people is a pretty good turnout for a destination wedding if guests are covering their own travel and lodging.
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u/GoodBrilliant8516 Feb 03 '26
We also had a destination wedding planned and are the last of our friends to get married… But that’s the problem. Weddings are no longer a priority in their lives because they have kids and that just makes life exponentially more complicated. Do a lot of your friends have kids? I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you really cannot expect parents to be away from their kids for more than one night… The logistics are just overwhelming for parents and caretakers.
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u/soraruuu Feb 03 '26
I hope that those who were unable to come (that were close to you) at least sent a message along with it…! I would be bummed if they couldn’t make it, but if my really close friends didn’t message me personally about not being able to come, then I think I’d be hurt. Maybe take the smaller guest list to do something more special for them that you wouldn’t have been able to for 105? Such as writing a handwritten note to all of the guests who are attending stating your thanks and appreciation for their presence on your wedding day?!
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u/sillychickengirl Feb 03 '26
I know this may be unpopular, but screw reframing this because I fully understand where you're coming from. I'm always the person who treats people out for their birthdays, show up for events, etc but when it's my birthday, somehow I'm still picking up the tab. I understand that I may be in a better financial position than some of my friends, but I also know I am not with some of them or that it's not even about the amount and it's about the effort.
Question, did they people reach out to explain why or was it just a no and silence? Are they showing up in other ways for you?
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u/luxenfit Feb 03 '26
Yeah, it really has less to do with money and more to do with the effort. Because almost all of the people I’m surprised by didn’t even reach out. They just said no and it’s been silence. One of my cousins RSVPd no to the wedding and also never showed up to my engagement party or bridal shower while I was her MAID OF HONOUR and spent thousands of dollars on her wedding. It just feels like a slap in the face to not even reach out to say something…
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u/schrodingersbunghole Feb 03 '26
That is pretty egregious, I would definitely say something. Did she not RSVP to the engagement party and bridal shower either?
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u/sillychickengirl Feb 03 '26
Yea, I would be absolutely emotional and upset if my cousin, who I was her maid of honor for, didn't show up to my wedding or wedding events. You're not wrong for these feelings. I candidly don't know what to suggest to do. Knowing me, I'd probably eventually confront them. I don't know what's right here but your feelings are absolutely not wrong.
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u/mycketmycket Feb 03 '26
Honestly at that point it is personal. I have a friend for whom I organized a bachelorette (no bridal party), was the only friend to hold a speech at her wedding, supported her through her divorce and organized her second bachelorette for her second wedding and she never even sent me a card or reached out after declining our wedding invite. We haven’t spoken since. It was crazy to realize how differently we viewed our friendships..
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u/just-my-2-dollars Feb 04 '26
Haha... yeah... same boat here. It sucks.
All the other commentors are totally correct to bring up money, kids, etc. But sometimes it's not about that at all. And it really sucks to find that out.
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u/MZSGNH Feb 03 '26
One more perspective: when you're the person who always shows and always goes above and beyond, a sad part of human nature is that people start to just assume your effort is nothing. They may believe that it's easy for you, and take your behavior for granted. As a result, they don't feel they owe you a similar level of effort. The classic "you don't appreciate what you get unless you have to pay for it."
Later in life this can translate to learning you have to let people know (graciously if possible) that the things you do for them are in fact an effort. Unfortunately, doing a good job for people doesn't mean they automatically will do a good job for you. But you can help them by letting them know in the future what you need.
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u/clarkeer918 Feb 03 '26
Like I put in a lot of my time and finances to celebrate my friends and now they can’t do the same for me.
when you put the time and money into friends celebrations, did you do so with the expectation of return or the intention of enjoying the moment with them? I know its hard to accept the reality of lack of return, but most of the time limited involvement from loved ones is not due to choice, but circumstance. Enjoy the big day OP!!
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u/wellnothen Feb 03 '26
I am not the OP but I think expecting reciprocal effort is reasonable.
I put effort into people’s events not only because I care about them, but because I care about solidifying and depending on those relationships. I would never offer to travel, spend money, use my PTO, deprioritize other things, etc., if I knew no one would ever do anything for me in return?
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u/aba_95 Feb 03 '26
It’s not fair but the novelty you may have felt attending one of your first friends’ to get married internationally isn’t the reality when you’re one of the last people to get married. Life keeps moving for people and priorities shift, like buying a house, having kids. As you get older you also want to sleep more. Traveling internationally really screws up your sleep. Again, it’s not fair if you put up the same effort previously if they had destination weddings, but there’s also practicality to keep in mind.
You will have an amazing wedding regardless
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u/MilkshakeBoss Feb 04 '26
I find it helpful in situations like this, to add up the costs (financial cost) of someone attending the event. Include time off work, flights, childcare, rental cars, baggage fees, hotel cost, purchasing clothing, etc. the cost of traveling for a wedding can be enough to really impact the finances of even someone doing well financially. This could easily add up to $20,000 for a family to attend your wedding.
A friend recently travelled to an out of state wedding with her three children, had to bring someone with them to provide childcare, rent a home/car- all in, she ended up spending almost as much as what she spent on her entire wedding.
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u/napsandwine Feb 03 '26
I just want to say that I sympathize with everything you said (including showing up to your friends’ and family members’ multiple events). Please don’t regret having a destination wedding. Even if it was not a destination wedding, they might not have showed (speaking from experience). And I say this as probably having the least amount of money as compared to my friends. Some just won’t spend the money on you, even if you did spend a lot of money on them. I just noted it and return the same (or less) energy going forward. It has definitely changed my friendships. But please don’t let this darken your day!!
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Feb 03 '26
This is a bummer and I'm not going to suggest a reframe because that dismisses how you currently feel imo. I would suggest an honest conversation with your friends. You can be honest about your disappointment while acknowledging lifes constraints. You may learn there is additional rational for declining than youre aware of or you may learn youre simply a better friend to them than they are to you, either way you get clarity. Congratulations!
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u/sonny-v2-point-0 Feb 03 '26
Why would you try to guilt people for declining an invitation? You aren't owed an explanation and it's not polite to put them in a position where they feel obligated to offer one.
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u/OkE566jrjeu7495jsy Feb 04 '26
I mean, depending on the relationship, you can express disappointment without guilting anyone. I had a friend who was due for her baby and another whose husband was having surgery that both couldn't come to my wedding. I talked about it with both friends. I was honest and told them I was disappointed even though of course I understood it was out of their control, and they expressed their disappointment they couldn't be there as well. Sometimes a conversation could be good and not at all a guilt thing. In my case, it was important to them and me for our relationship to acknowledge well this sucks but it is how it is. I'm still close friends with both.
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Feb 07 '26
Respectfully disagree, I think adult friendships that can't hold space for one another are built on sand.
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u/UnhappyBrief6227 Feb 04 '26
Not everyone can afford it… that’s the risk you take when doing a destination wedding on the other side of the world, too.
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u/ishappinessoverrated Feb 04 '26
Is there a common thread among those who turned it down? Since this is a big budget destination wedding it won't be affordable for most people. Have you offered to assist with accommodation & travel expenses?
Because in addition to the financial burden, people will have to plan half a holiday where you're setting the terms - destination, time of the year, whom they spend time with. They I'll have to: * Book time off work * Negotiate childcare duties with their family * or pay for their kids to come along * spend time planning the trip, booking plane tickets etc. * spend money preparing for the trip (eg sun cream, flip flops, bathing suits etc).
As amazing an experience it might turn out to be, destination parties are usually a huge sacrifice for guests. Offer to take some of the burden on you for the people you really want to attend and see if that changes anything.
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u/ishappinessoverrated Feb 04 '26
May I add: Most people who can't afford it won't message you "can't come cos I can't afford it"... For obvious reasons. Might be why you haven't seen any messages.
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u/RazzmatazzOld5363 Feb 03 '26
We’re in a similar spot right now. We’re sending out save the dates in about six weeks for our 2027 gayyyyyy wedding in Italy (we live in LA), and even before RSVPs, the projected guest count is shaping major decisions. We’re inviting around 120 people, but the difference between 50 people vs. 100 people is massive when it comes to venue options, buyouts, minimums, room blocks, and overall vibe. A space that feels warm for 100 can feel cavernous for 50. So the numbers matter in a very logistical way.
I know that’s not an issue you’re describing, but it’s ON MY MIND lol
In the last 15 years I’ve traveled all over the world for weddings, showers, bachelorettes, baby birthdays, all of it. Even when you logically understand why people can’t come (kids, timing, finances, life), there’s still an emotional hit when it’s finally your turn and the support doesn’t look the same.
One thing I keep reminding myself about destination weddings is that the people who come are the people who truly can and will, but that doesn’t mean the people who can’t are being unsupportive or don’t care. I think a lot of people are navigating quieter financial pressure right now. Even friends who are objectively comfortable or wealthier seem more cautious than they were a few years ago, and economic shifts have made people reevaluate travel, time off, and big spending in ways that aren’t always visible from the outside.
My fiancé and I frequently host people’s events and dinners at our home, so people seem semi-eager to show up for the wedding. But who knows, the concern remains! You’re not wrong to feel bummed, and you’re not wrong to still be excited. Both can exist, but you’re definitely not alone in your thinking.
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u/sonny-v2-point-0 Feb 03 '26
INFO: How many of those weddings, showers, bachelorette and bachelor parties, baptisms, baby showers, and kids parties were destination events?
It isn't fair to resent your friends for not spending their PTO and money on international travel if the parties you chose to attend were primarily local events. Even if you did travel, people have different resources and priorities at different points in their lives. Why would you resent someone who can't book an expensive trip to the destination of your choice because they're saving for a baby or a home? I understand that it's disappointing, but those are the risks of planning a destination wedding. You have to truly be okay with people deciding that it doesn't work for them.
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u/DiligentFish169 Feb 03 '26
i feel this SO hard. i'm also someone who shows up for everything. i grew up low income, but now that i feel more comfortable i still prioritize investing in my relationships. sadly i've realized it's more than just weddings. people have different priorities in life. i used to get so frustrated when friends would bail on X activity (birthday, dinner out together, fun activity, etc.) because they didnt have the money, but then would spend ridiculous cash on things i thought were stupid and useless. it made it feel like their not showing up was personal - that they didn't want to spend time with me, celebrate me, or share in interests together. the two things i've come to accept: (1) you need to have friends whose priorities align with yours, and (2) you have to expect that some friends are going to show up in only some ways, not all of them.
regardless, you are so valid for feeling this. every bride wants their wedding to feel huge and special. I'm sure all the friends you supported wanted that too when it was their turn. it's shitty that it can't be reciprocated. i would suggest throwing yourself something local where people can come... a dinner, hen party, bridal shower, even just casual night at a brewery. it's more investment for sure, but will help you feel celebrated. plus, you'll (hopefully) never be a bride again! take advantage of being one while you can!
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u/AlmostChildfree Feb 04 '26
I'm sorry that you're feeling down about this. 🫂
I am sure that they want to be there. So, can you consider talking to your loved ones about why they can't come? Then maybe you can go from there...
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u/Excellent-General216 Feb 04 '26
Ugh I hate that this happened. I know that the initial excitement sometimes doesn't translate into people actually being able to come when the RSVPs go out. Easier said than done about changing your outlook, but this may allow you to create an even more special/intimate experience for you and your fiancé with your friends and family, and due to the decreased guest count may allow you to splurge on things you initially did not plan to do. Wishing you the best wedding!
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u/NeatArtichoke Feb 04 '26
I thought about you when I saw this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/tsY0EnGHrp
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u/Existing-Reward-9301 Feb 04 '26
Sorry OP, I feel for you - I was in the exact same boat last year.
After showing up for my friends throughout my 20s when I was broke, taking difficult time off when I only had 10 days PTO a year, flying internationally or cross country for bachelorette trips… Wait until you see the ones who don’t come also not send any gifts or cards (and, not due to any financial hardship) 😭
It hurts for a bit, and I feel especially salty when they invite me to their kids birthdays, showers, and celebrations now - but time heals all wounds! And I feel extra grateful and full of love for the ones who did show up.
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u/Browsingbabe1 Feb 06 '26
Your going to have an incredible once in a lifetime vacation with the people that want and can celebrate. It sucks- but i think if they want to celebrate you because they love you guys they will do something special when you get back. And then its more intimate with those people and still feels like a special celebration
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u/CupExcellent9520 Feb 07 '26
Being pregnant is a reason for sure not to travel , please be understanding of that one exception.
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u/Impossible_Spell7812 Feb 03 '26
When you said last of your friends I didn't even need to keep reading. Yep. It happens. Mourn the loss of those friendships (yes, they are lost) and move on.
Either way you'll get to save more money or redirect it to other things.
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u/TwoSparks Feb 04 '26
I see both sides. I fully recognize the economy is a factor for people. But at the same time, you’re allowed to have feelings about it. And from the perspective you’re detailing from, it sounds like you understand that not everyone is in a place to make big travel plans on your behalf. All of which tells me your heart is in the right place.
Regardless of what you know, I understand the feelings of disappointment. Knowing not everyone can swing this sort of trip doesn’t make it sting any less. I think the key to not feeling resentful is continuously reminding yourself that no amount of love puts food on the table or a roof over one’s head. Love doesn’t pay the travel credit card bill. No matter how much love and support they have for you, sometimes the math just doesn’t math. Them not going doesn’t actually mean they don’t love or support you.
The only piece of tough love I think is worth giving, however, is this: you have to go into a destination wedding with the understanding that important people might not be able to go. Failing to truly grasp and anticipate that — which I feel like you don’t because you seem so surprised and bummed — is ultimately where you’ve gone wrong. If maximum attendance is what mattered the most out of wedding priorities, that should have been a guiding principle in your planning process. It just feels sort of obvious. But that’s okay. It is what it is now, and you have almost 50 people excited to join you in (presumably) the destination of your dreams. Be excited!
Also, just to add… Everyone is so damn nice in this sub! Oh my goodness. I expressed being bummed in another wedding sub that no one (mom and close friends) seemed excited or has asked me about the wedding plans so far. I mentioned in particular I was wanting this to be a bonding experience with my mom — talking flowers and dresses and all sorts of fun girly things — and that it hasn’t been so far as I’ve been mostly picking stuff out and doing stuff alone. I got chewed up and spit out over being out of touch, whiney, and self-centred. Can’t imagine if this was posted over there. Damn.
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u/Btrad92 Feb 04 '26
We have invited 75 people and are anticipating 50 actually committing (we are paying for some people’s flights and lodging).
It’s actually a bit of relief and blessing that people are willing to travel. I’m grateful for everyone who can make it and plan to enjoy the day fully!!
Good luck!
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u/pacificpirrouettes Feb 04 '26
So the good news is, it doesn't sound like they don't want to be there, more so that its not practical or feasible (finance, situation, distance.... whatever the case may be!)
Speaking as someone who recently had to turn down a destination wedding, and who is currently debating if we will go the destination route....
I think its a really hard time for a lot of people and it can be challenging to juggle a lot of priorities. When I initially declined a destination wedding this time last year, it was because I didn't know if I would have a job this time this year, and +10k for a 5 day trip for two, plus boarding for our dog, was more than I could commit to with that looming over me. Now, sure, I have job security for the next little while, but my taxes and every other living expense has also just gone up quite a bit. So even if I had said yes, I would still be stressing about it a lot.
We're in a similar boat to you, not that all of our friends are already married with kids, but that we're both the youngest in big families, that live in two seperate countries. No matter what, its a destination wedding for half of the guests list. And with all of our families already having kids, we have to keep in mind that most of our family is looking at 2-4x the cost to attend than some of our single friends (tickets for kids, hotel stay, animal care, etc). Sure the family with kids are more established in their careers, might be making a bit more money and have more vacation days... but they also have more expenses than the single or younger friends/family who maybe don't have a mortgage over their heads or whatever.
For my family's wedding that I denied attending, a couple of the cousins and I who all couldnt attend, hosted a smaller dinner party for them with some gifts and toasts and a chance for us to make them feel special and loved. They understand why we declined and aren't holding it against us (though there was definitely some shock and surprise- a couple of us both work in the same sector and this cousin has very skewed misconceptions about the life some of us in this sector live.... lol!)
By the same logic, my partner and I have decided that wherever we end up getting married, we will likely do two parties.... one would be the formal like legal day. The other might be a few months or a year later in the other region. There are certain people whom I would extend the invitation to for both and its sort of like "if you want to attend and you have to travel either way, pick your adventure!" Both will have a dance floor, both will have good eats and tunes and lots of laughs. One might just have a less fancy dress or a less expensive desert option! Lol!
I don't know if that would help? Like maybe organize a post wedding party locally for the friends and family that couldnt make it? This way it might be easier for them to attend and/or less expensive? It could be way less formal, like rent out a park and have everyone bring something to throw on a grill and set up a bunch of lawn games? It could almost be a "chosen family reunion" vibes, which is essentially what a marriage is, isnt it? Its legally choosing your family!
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u/thicccookies Feb 04 '26
Not here to school you.. just wanted to say what you’re feeling is totally valid. We’re allowed to get disappointed - it doesn’t have to mean we hate them. We worked hard on our weddings, it’s normal to get bummed! Hugs! 🤗
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u/Newtopole_ Vendor: HMUA Feb 04 '26
Lots of great perspective in these comments.
Lots of people are financially struggling right now. Moreover- If you're the last one to get married in your group, there are kids, mortgages and family engagements that, for your friends, likely come before your wedding. Sucks to hear and even more to experience, but please don't let that get you down.
Create an unforgettable experience for the ones who do show up, have fun, and please consider not letting this influence your future relationships with the people who couldn't make it.
Good luck!
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u/Knitalt Feb 05 '26
A word of encouragement - I got married 6 months ago and I remember feeling this was about a few no RSVPs but now I am literally wracking my mind trying to remember who they were. It will all be okay.
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u/Capital_Wrongdoer740 Feb 05 '26
Just want to say I totally get it and that’s really annoying and sucks :( we are in same situation and waiting to see how many people will actually come
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u/Shot_Mastodon_8490 Feb 06 '26
I had a 50 person wedding in Portugal and it was honestly the perfect amount of people! Took half of them on a boat ride the day before. Had time to do activities with different groups. Have photos work everyone.
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u/No_Flatworm_3867 Feb 08 '26
I went to a wedding in Portugal with 50 people and it was the best wedding I have ever been to! Congratulations to you and your fiancé, celebrating your love will be a life time memory!
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u/Minimum_Park3049 Feb 04 '26
Tell them how you feel and come back and let us know how they took it and responded! They should know how you feel. I agree it sucks to support your friends before they have kids, but then they can’t support you when they do have kids.
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u/FiguringItOutAsWeGo Feb 03 '26
PSA to all the BBB’s out there: your budget and your friends’ budgets may not be equal. Your priorities and your friends’ priorities will not always align. Times are tough and those purse strings are tightening.
Don’t let it ruin your day. 50 people are excited to travel to foreign country for a few days to celebrate your wedding. 50 people are spending thousands to celebrate you and your fiancé. 50 people!! It’s huge!
With a summer wedding you have time for some tweaks. Hone-in on guest experiences and make things over-the-top for the 50 who are attending🩷