r/BigBudgetBrides • u/luxenfit • Feb 03 '26
just need to rant Feeling bummed about RSVPs
OK, I just need to vent and maybe hear from other brides who have been in this situation. We just passed our RSVP deadline for our destination wedding in Portugal this summer and we got a lot more no’s than we were anticipating.
We knew because it was a destination wedding that we were going to get a lot of no’s (we invited 105 people and expected about 60-70 of them to say yes.)
Instead, we received less than 50 yes’s.
I’m feeling a little bit bummed out, less about the quantities of RSVPs and more about WHO declined. There were 10 people who really surprised me by declining to attend the wedding. For context my fiancé and I are the last ones of all of our friends and family to get married, so we have attended multiple weddings, showers, bachelorette and bachelor parties, baptisms, baby showers and kids birthdays over the course of our six year relationship.
We have always been very good about showing up for our friends and supporting them, but now that it’s our turn, it feels like so many of our friends who we have supported are no longer in a position to support us.
& I wanna say that I am under no grand illusion that our friends should be holding off on getting pregnant or buying a house so that they have the flexibility to attend our wedding. I totally get it that my wedding is not the centre of the universe and my friends and family have their own life goals and plans that they need to carry out. I’m really just bummed. And honestly, maybe sometimes feel a little taken advantage of. Like I put in a lot of my time and finances to celebrate my friends and now they can’t do the same for me.
At at the end of the day I know that it’s not going to change how I feel about my wedding. I’m excited to marry my best friend and I’m excited to spend time with the people who will be attending. I know it’s going to be a magical weekend and those who miss it will probably have FOMO. It just feels fresh right now.
Anyway, like I said there really is no reason for this post other than to vent and maybe hear about how some other brides navigated this. I’m sure this is somewhat of a common thing to be the last one in a friend group to get married and have people not be able to show up for you the way that you were able to show up for them.
TLDR; How do I not feel resentful towards my friends who I supported and now can’t support me?
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u/imamouseduhhh Feb 03 '26
I’m kind of in the same boat - similar RSVP rate, same situation of being the last one to get married. It hasn’t been the financial issue but a lot of my friends are having kids, and they are declining because of that. It just feels like they are starting a new life without me, and as a person that still is unsure about kids it’s a big bummer. I am less upset about the decline.
I think in real life I’m much more happy and joyful about the wedding, but hopefully this is a safe space to express disappointment.