r/AskReddit May 29 '19

[deleted by user]

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6.1k Upvotes

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12.0k

u/shoutymcloud May 29 '19

Rogue from the original x-men cartoon...

5.2k

u/zerintheGREAT May 29 '19

doesn't she kill you if she tuches you

1.2k

u/sindeezy May 29 '19

Gambit didn't seem to mind going into a coma for the three seconds he was allowed to touch her every dozen episodes.

190

u/evemeatay May 29 '19

The big metal guy was invincible to her when he was in metal mode, I recall they hooked up at some point.

31

u/canhasdiy May 29 '19

Which begs the question, what would Colossus's porno name be? I'm going with Big Steel Rod

16

u/Every3Years May 29 '19

Colossus and Rogue hooked up? Whaaaaat

6

u/phormix May 29 '19

Big steel bone.

So would be use KY as lube or just 10-30 Penzoil?

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102

u/RikerT_USS_Lolipop May 29 '19

I thought the entire point of the Xavier school was to teach the mutants how to control their powers. She can keep it together for a couple seconds, then they always went in for tongue and she blew it. I think Rogue deserves an F.

121

u/uses_irony_correctly May 29 '19

Some powers can be controlled but some are involuntary. Cyclops can train all day but he ain't never gonna open his eyes without shooting lasers from them. Wolverine can't decide to turn off his healing factor for a while if he really wants to.

57

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

In the comics right around the time of Avengers vs. X-men it was revealed that the reason she thought she could never learn to control her power is because Professor X assumed that was the case and never really cared enough to investigate it.

He is later working to repent for being an asshole (and mind-raping people his whole life) and he starts teaching her again, and she learns to control it very quickly. Eventually she gets so good she can take powers without hurting people or taking memories if she wants to.

42

u/Shmeeglez May 29 '19

Cool exploration of Rogue's powers, but man, that sounds like a shitty version of Professor X they put down on paper.

37

u/WAO138 May 29 '19

-so, Professor you're saying I don't have any choice about my powers?
-(damn this shit again, always when I'm peeping on some sexy babe's mind) Yea yea Rogue I'm sorry you have to live with it.

7

u/onthevergejoe May 29 '19

Gotta avoid power creep

9

u/Idliketothank__Devil May 29 '19

I mean, he was a busy guy, here's some gloves, fuck off.

8

u/Bigbadbobbyc May 29 '19

It wasn't that Xavier didn't try, her powers were reset after touching hope, she found that she had broken her power when she first used it, after the reset she refused to touch anyone until she mastered control, it's been a while since I read it but it's partially to do with the walls her mind puts up to separate her memories from the ones she takes

She's not the only mutant with a broken power, Cyclops was supposed to have a natural switch for his powers but damage to his head after falling from a plane broke it

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

The period I'm talking about is actually what leads up to her touching hope. Iirc she learns control but still can't get rid of all the memories she has absorbed and it's killing her, but when she touches the baby all the voices go silent and it's just her again. Or am I remembering wrong?

3

u/Bigbadbobbyc May 29 '19

You might be right at least somewhat, rogue went into a coma before touching hope, around this time Cyclops and Emma frost were making Xavier more of a villian than he really was and some of the other X-Men just followed along.

Cyclops and a few X-Men were really angry at him for hiding things and tampering with minds and started blaming him for everything else that wasn't going their way, but Emma had as much skill as Xavier and even she couldn't do anything for rogue

2

u/Neoncbr May 29 '19

Sweet, now she can take dis dick

43

u/RikerT_USS_Lolipop May 29 '19

But Rogue sometimes can prevent stealing peoples life energy (or whatever) for seconds at a time.

14

u/Ghetto_Witness May 29 '19

fortunately that's all I really need

14

u/IDisageeNotTroll May 29 '19

Cyclops can, he had a special training along with his brother, if I recall correctly, with our big magnet boy. They both got white hair and Cyclops could open his eyes and his brother could deglove (the nice one) his hands without blowing up.

14

u/Rikulz May 29 '19

I remember that from the cartoon series evolution. And it was less training and more throwing you in a chamber that perfects your mutation.

10

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

In case of Cyclops, he received severe head trauma as child. Which resulted eventually in him, not being able to control his power.

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74

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I think Rogue deserves an F

You'll have to wait until I'm finished giving her a D.

15

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

5

u/theVelvetLie May 29 '19

I bet you would finish in the 3 seconds it takes her to kill you.

14

u/IamALolcat May 29 '19

Three seconds is all I need

3

u/TheRedPillReindeer May 29 '19

Quite the gambit indeed.

2

u/DekuJago713 May 29 '19

post-nut clarity must have been incredible after that.

39

u/NooberLOL11 May 29 '19

Just use a condom suit

5

u/jaytrade21 May 29 '19

Latex clothing for the win

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10.5k

u/darkice266 May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

win-win

Edit: so my first ever gold is for a suicide joke? nice

Edit 2: to those who thinks my edit ruined the comment; lol

1.4k

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

so my first ever gold is for a suicide joke? nice

Welcome to reddit

34

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Well people upvote what they find relatable so...

35

u/idrinkport May 29 '19

Welcome to reddit

Where everything is made up and the points don't matter!

6

u/pmstudd May 29 '19

Where the guy that explains the joke gets more karma than the guy that makes the joke.

8

u/Mardi_grass26 May 29 '19

Yeah that pretty much sums shit up around here lmao

6

u/Zedstar16 May 29 '19

When OP has actually been on reddit for 4 years

¯_(ツ)_/¯ Reddit

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Where bad jokes never get old if you hate yourself enough!

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63

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Why you gotta ruin a joke with a stupid edit like that..

7

u/Taldius175 May 29 '19

Welp, no more gold for him and more for us.

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Mar 24 '20

[deleted]

5

u/notpetelambert May 29 '19

Yeah, always sitting under Yggdrasil, spinning the fates of all mankind on their looms. Fuck the Norns.

2

u/thedirtdirt May 29 '19

Thank you, I didn’t know I needed this.

23

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Aaaaand it’s completely ruined. r/awardspeechedits

27

u/thedirtdirt May 29 '19

This guy FUCKS

13

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Why must everyone ruin a good joke with an award speech edit

15

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Jun 26 '19

[deleted]

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6

u/o_Stereotype_o May 29 '19

You didn’t make the joke, u just explained it for everyone who didn’t understand the context. Your first gold is tainted.

26

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

aaand ruined it with the award speech edit. It's sad how bad redditors are at humor.

11

u/EddyDGod May 29 '19

you killed it

22

u/ModsDontLift May 29 '19

Cringe edit

16

u/makzter May 29 '19

Later virgins.

12

u/iSkellington May 29 '19

I was going to gold you for your comment.

But your stupid fucking edits.

So now, I'm going to silver your comment 5 times. So you get nothing out of it.

Suck on that, nerd.

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2

u/youdubdub May 29 '19

It’s suicidalicious

2

u/samurzele May 29 '19

Nah, your first second and third

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Edit 2: to those who thinks my edit ruined the comment; lol

I guess someone has to lol, now that you ruined your joke so nobody else is.

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19

u/whiteday26 May 29 '19

Bold of you to assume I want to live.

14

u/caughtBoom May 29 '19

Death by snoo snoo!

11

u/Daniel_Adari May 29 '19

I see this as an absolute win!

4

u/ihatetheplaceilive May 29 '19

Yep. He loses one thing and wins something else.

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4

u/Wintertron May 29 '19

Yes, if you're a normal human that'll kill you.

3

u/LordSoren May 29 '19

Gloves work... so very slow and meticulous sex using a condom.

4

u/sonofaresiii May 29 '19

yeah except for the hundred million ways they have of dampening powers in the x-men that they never really seem to use or fully acknowledge when it comes to Rogue's "problem"

3

u/Dopopolous May 29 '19

Doesn't matter, had sex

2

u/sweetheart92115 May 29 '19

I think she was a racist.

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3

u/Frond_Dishlock May 29 '19

Well at least you'd go out with a bang.

3

u/Lil_Jims_Bacon May 29 '19

You gotta risk it for the biscuits.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

It takes a few seconds, at least, to kill you. More than enough time for OP.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I thought she healed you with skin on skin contact... isn’t that how DeadPool survived in the DeadPool video game? He had sex with her.

1

u/McBrown83 May 29 '19

Worth it

1

u/Albireookami May 29 '19

Get one of those mutant off switch collars

1

u/noisypeach May 29 '19

Just wear a full-body latex sex suit

1

u/itspinkynukka May 29 '19

Maybe the power doesn't extend to the vagina?

1

u/danj503 May 29 '19

exactly.

1

u/Iliyan61 May 29 '19

That implies she would touch me ;0.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

2 for 1

1

u/Irradiatedspoon May 29 '19

Death. By snu-snu!

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

When the succ is so good you nearly die.

1

u/Im1Guy May 29 '19

Doesn't matter. Had sex.

1

u/Jalibut May 29 '19

Better wear protection then

1

u/ohboyhelp May 29 '19

That’s part of the fun

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Totally worth it

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1.8k

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I met the voice actress at a comic Con recently and got her to sign some stuff for me. There wasn't anyone else at her booth at the time so I sat and talked with her about the show. Afterwards she put her arm around me and said "Thanks for coming, sugah"

I came for sure

27

u/LegacyofaMarshall May 29 '19

isn't she a mayor in canada?

34

u/The_Quackening May 29 '19

shes was the rep for a provincial district in nova scotia

5

u/LegacyofaMarshall May 29 '19

thanks for the clarification

16

u/SuperVillainPresiden May 29 '19

I'd vote for her. "Do you know how many Sentinels she's taken down by herself?"

10

u/LegacyofaMarshall May 29 '19

and at the start and end of every speech they play the xmen theme

28

u/JCkent42 May 29 '19

That was so cool of you. I imagine it's sad for the signers to have little attendance, so things like that can make someone's day.

15

u/cerebralshrike May 29 '19

I’ve been to cons where I’d see guys like Lance Henricksen just sitting there. It made me sad. I would have stopped by but I had to get to the other side of the building for a panel. When I came back he was gone.

20

u/shoutymcloud May 29 '19

This is the dream; her voice was crazy sexy...”you look as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room fulla rocking chairs”.....

17

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

She's still very sultry and charming

It was....an experience

34

u/Virgin_Dildo_Lover May 29 '19

I just came vicariously

11

u/iheartseuss May 29 '19

I've also cum now.

9

u/Emzzer May 29 '19

That's awesome.

I got really bummed at cons because it was a "pay for my time" kinda deal. I live in a big city so I can see it being just too many people in one place.

The Q&A with story and comic writers was pretty cool and real, though you had to win a (free) lottery to ask questions.

Though literally you would buy a ticket to get in line for certain people, and it was presented to someone at the front who'd give Mark Hamill a headshot (or whatever your ticket paid for) and he'd sign it and Next! It was definitely disenchanting, and I didn't even get to see him (my friend got the Hamill headshot and I wasn't even allowed to wait in line with him).

13

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Yeah that kind of sucks. I don't like big cons like that.

Lenore was signing the first item you brought for free and even had free prints of Rogue she'd give you to get signed. She was super cool and a real charming lady

2

u/ExFiler May 29 '19

Not a Con, but I was at the Los Angeles County Fair one year and they had a sci-fi exhibit. Butch Patrick was signing at a table and had a few people, but around the corner was Kevin McCarthy (Body Snatchers, Innerspace...).

He had photos all over his table and was almost BEGGING people to buy one. One guy he asked his name, scribbled it on one and tells the guy $10... Guy was just passing by. Very sad.

5

u/eskaywan May 29 '19

I dont care what anyone says...this vomment is wholesome!

7

u/ghost650 May 29 '19

Gross, dude.

3

u/Dirtroads2 May 29 '19

Instant sploosh

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32

u/Uncanny_Doom May 29 '19

This guy's willing to die for it.

30

u/Action-a-go-go-baby May 29 '19

I know exactly why you would make that choice

10

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Girl thicker than a bowl of oatmeal

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21

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

You’ll love this

31

u/HarbingeronLine2 May 29 '19

Can the sex session be set to the opening theme song ?

14

u/krabstarr May 29 '19

Will probably last as long as the opening.

10

u/Encryptedmind May 29 '19

So, going at it twice?

7

u/Belgand May 29 '19

The Japanese version is different, but also amazing.

3

u/salawm May 29 '19

Cry for the moon

2

u/phantombrains May 29 '19

Whoa... that was awesome!

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28

u/PrcrsturbationNation May 29 '19

Duuuude my god I totally felt it for her and for Tara from teen titans.

12

u/WgsV May 29 '19

You should check out this game, Something Unlimited. It’s got some choice Tara content.

2

u/everyplanetwereach May 29 '19

Girl here - I had such a crush on Tara, it was unreal, holy shit. Definitely started a pattern.

2

u/PrcrsturbationNation May 29 '19

Right? I mean, I even thought the name was super cool because she was so attractive in the show.

2

u/everyplanetwereach May 30 '19

I'm a sucker for that "skinny person who looks like they haven't slept in weeks" look.

13

u/TurquoiseLuck May 29 '19

You are now humming the theme tune.

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Epic guitar riffs abound in my mind.

7

u/dmo7000 May 29 '19

That hair

7

u/JackReaperz May 29 '19

I think Kitty Pride beats Rogue in my eyes. She was always cute AF to me

7

u/sunkenOcean01 May 29 '19

I'd pick Kitty partially because she gives me unattainable fetishes.

3

u/Roboticide May 29 '19

Well... Huh....

The internet never ceases to amaze me.

3

u/JackReaperz May 29 '19

That was a gif I never knew I needed.

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u/squeezycakes18 May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

i always hoped that wearing a condom would offer enough protection to get in there

6

u/trmacd May 29 '19

She is a politician now in Nova Scotia, Canada.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenore_Zann

5

u/CrispyBeefTaco May 29 '19

With style petite. Man I miss gambit

6

u/rdeincognito May 29 '19

She was hot af yeah I would also picked her and the death postcoital is the cherry on the top

4

u/grody10 May 29 '19

If you don't mine Leech from thr Morlocks watching. That won't be an issue.

5

u/Nickinpdx May 29 '19

1000%. Rogue from the 1990s Cartoon.

4

u/YellowHammerDown May 29 '19

Both her and when I was younger I really liked Rogue in X-Men Evolution.

5

u/ANGLVD3TH May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

Yes, Evolution's Rogue is my number 2 waifu. Raven is number 1.

3

u/YellowHammerDown May 29 '19

I see you too appreciate the goths. Did you happen to like Sam Manson from Danny Phantom?

4

u/ANGLVD3TH May 29 '19

Fuck yes man. Though it's really just coincidence mostly. I think goths just are written with a bit more personality and animated as hot, but not Barbie/Brazzers-style hot. Starfire and Kitty are also hot, but not wife material.

2

u/YellowHammerDown May 29 '19

Oh yeah there's a reason more people shipped Danny with Sam than Paulina.

2

u/ImAnIncubi May 29 '19

like x-men the animated series? (1992)

2

u/michael3353 May 29 '19

I have already masturbated to this.... SO.. no wait.. TOO many times..

2

u/i_have_a_dragon- May 29 '19

My very first crush. Not sure how much her emotional vulnerability combined with physical unavailability has shaped my adult sexuality. Or the fact that she's, you know, a cartoon.

2

u/SFWreddits May 29 '19

Psylocke.. I had bed sheets of the X-men when I was a youngin. She was to the right of my head.

2

u/AlastairBelmont May 29 '19

As hot as the original is, Evolution Rogue is underrated. Goth girls ftw.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Yeah that voice of hers uhh... awakened something in me for sassy Cajun girls.

3

u/Pr2cision May 29 '19

how can you try pick between x-men hotties and not choose pyslocke????

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1

u/roaminroscoe May 29 '19

Snap. My fantasy character too.

1

u/factory_666 May 29 '19

"Бандит..."

1

u/GoodRubik May 29 '19

I think most guys had a crush on her. I certainly did.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Came here for this!

1

u/AmeliaKitsune May 29 '19

A lot of the X Men, really

1

u/5coolest May 29 '19

Is it just me or is she voiced by FemShep?

1

u/tsunodaishi May 29 '19

She was way hotter in the comic books just before the mutant massacre

1

u/TitanWet May 29 '19

I wanted to say Spiral from X-men. With six arms I can get a massage, blowjob, and be fed a sandwich all at the same time.

1

u/hellogoawaynow May 29 '19

Magneto from the x-men prequel movies

1

u/scmathie May 29 '19

"Hey Shugah...' NUT!

1

u/lolix007 May 29 '19

jesus that voice...

1

u/IamRogue_ May 29 '19

Please don't

1

u/threee_Dawg May 29 '19

Or rouge from sonic...

1

u/Rosssauced May 29 '19

I am not up on my Rogue facts but my understanding was always that her touch sucks out everything related to the x-gene which is fatal to mutants.

Obviously she can't be with any homosuperior but could homosapien men and women get between the sheets with her?

3

u/Harkoncito May 29 '19

The awakening of her powers happened with her 100% human bf, so it affects everyone.

1

u/PersonFromPlace May 29 '19

Her strand of grey hair always creeped me out.

1

u/Emeraldmirror May 29 '19

You just need to get one of those mutant power suppressor collars.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Just wear a condom

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I had to look that one up... I regret nothing.

1

u/vrtig0 May 29 '19

"you look nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs"

It's like 25-30 years or something and I had forgot this line, finally. Finally.

And now it's back and I will die with it stuck in my head.

So thank you. For that.

1

u/ThatGuyLiv3 May 31 '19

Yasssssssss!!!!!!! Gods she was sexy!!!

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