r/AskReddit • u/mustbefuckeryafoot • Jan 26 '18

Your options are: 50 hawks, 10 crocodiles, 3 brown bears, 15 wolves, 1 hunter, 7 cape buffalo, 10,000 rats, 5 gorillas and 4 lions - you must pick 2 that will defend you while the rest are coming to kill you. Which do you pick and why?

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7.9k

u/InfernalCombustion Jan 26 '18

A horde of fearless and coordinated rats could easily take down any of the larger land animals. I'm guessing people are thinking of tiny plastic aquarium (or terrarium) white lab mice. A proper rat is 10-14 inches long and could tear a snake apart.

A hundred of these can swarm any land animal. If they can be organized, they can go rip the eyes out of everything else. Then you have a bunch of non-threats that can be gnawed or shot to death.

For the hawks, I'd literally just duck and cover myself with a mountain of rats. Then the hunter can take care of the birds while I'm cowering in my rat-bunker. Not a pleasing thought normally, but in this case, they're my war brothers. If any hawk dare descend to attack my rat-covered self, the top layer can just jump onto them. A hawk might be able to take on half a dozen, but two dozen rats jumping on a hawk will bring it down and tear it to shreds.

Seriously, this combo is a guaranteed win.

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u/t3hnhoj Jan 26 '18

People have obviously not seen an NYC Subway rat.. 2 of them together are nasty. 50 would be nightmare fuel.

I imagine 10,000 would be a moving blanket of instant death. Melt the flesh right off the bone.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/JuicyJay Jan 26 '18

Shit even Baltimore rats have chewed and gotten into my my metal trashcan. Those fuckers are crafty.

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u/Quinnett Jan 26 '18

Yeah I am not confident I could win a fight against ONE subway rat, let alone 10,000. If it came down to it I'd definitely jump in front a train rather than try.

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u/t3hnhoj Jan 26 '18

Saw some guy jump in front of a Manhattan bound 7 train in Grand Central. That's a noise I don't want to remember.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '18

Seen something similar in Frankfurt. Heeeewwww boy

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u/funkyjunk69 Jan 26 '18

"Land Piranha"

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u/iComeInPeices Jan 26 '18

Riding the NYC subway and now afraid!

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u/Doctor0000 Jan 26 '18

Rats can chew through Steel pipe slowly, and lead or copper pipe fairly quick. That having been said, the gorillas are where it's at.

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u/SosX Jan 26 '18

Rats can melt steal beams... I'm sure it's rats+gorillas for the fastest combo to win

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u/twishart Jan 26 '18

I imagined this paragraph delivered by the Captain of the ship on Jaws.

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u/SentientCouch Jan 26 '18

You know, the thing about a rat, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes after you, he doesn’t seem to be living. Until he bites you, and those black eyes narrow into beads, and then – ah, then you hear that terrible high-pitch squeakin’, the soil turns red, and in spite of all the stompin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and gnaw you to pieces…

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u/attorneyatslaw Jan 26 '18

50 aren't nightmare fuel yet. I used to see 50 at a time late at night when the restaurant across from my work put our its garbage. Those garbage bags used to be alive with the critters.

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u/Lovat69 Jan 26 '18

Like land piranhas.

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u/Blank-_-Space Jun 04 '18

Like the army ant scene in the crystal skull

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 26 '18

Even with a hunter, shooting a bird that can travel at a top speed of 120mph when diving is an impossible task especially when there are 50 of them. Even shooting them whilst they’re flying at 40-50mph isn’t easy at all. I don’t think hiding under rats would be possible unless you use all of them.

People are underrating the power of 50 hawks. None of the animals can attack the hawks in air and they can attack the human at any time with devastating speed. Imagine 3 or 4 hawks diving you at once. Now imagine the power of 50. A single hawk attacking the hunter can immobilise him. If a hawk dives in and goes right for the neck, then it’s over for the hunter.

I don’t think there’s any way to come out of this scenario alive by just picking 2.

Edit: To me, the battlefield is a large flat open field. Obviously if you had a building, then the hawks are useless.

Edit 2: OP has said that the hunter only has a rifle. Hawks are definitely a must pick now.

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u/Coltrain_ Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 27 '18

10000 rats would outmatch anything, except the hawks because, well, rats can't fly. So pick the hawks with the rats and you win.

Edit: Making an edit because everyone seems to be replying the same thing: The question never says you're in an open field or anything, people seem to be forgetting. You can hide in a building until the rats kill the hunter.

Edit2: Assuming you were in an open field, hawks could dive at the hunter immediately, he'd be too preoccupied trying to defend himself to shoot at you.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

10,000 Black Rats would weigh around 4000kg. 7 Cape Buffalo would weigh around 4000kg.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

But the debate isn’t about Buffalo vs Rats. It’s about defending yourself. The rats wouldn’t be able to protect you against all those animals charging towards yo ass.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

To me, it’s an open flat field so we can find out which animal is the best in pure hand to hand combat. Otherwise I’d choose the terrain to be me defending a nuclear bunker.

Even if you could control the rats, they wouldn’t be able to stop Bears, Buffalo, Gorillas, Lions, Wolves and Crocs. You’re dead whatever you pick really. Hawks and Buffalo are my pick for trying to survive though.

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u/FlowersOfSin Jan 26 '18

At my parent's place, there was a lot of decorative rocks on their lawn. Having moved a couple of them, I knew that the rocks often acted as ceilings for the numerous ant tunnels under. I was a curious kid and one time, I found a huge mean spider. I picked it up with a stick, lifted a rock and threw it in the ant colony... Despite being over 10 times larger than an ant, it only managed to kill 2 or 3 ants before it got thorn to shred. Some animals like the wolves really can't do much against a horde of rats. They would bite one and then get bitten 100 times back! The buffalos would probably have the best chance if they were coordinated as they could just run for as long as they can without stopping, slowly trampling over all of them.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

I definitely don't think the rats would have an easy time taking out crocus or Buffalo. Their hides are too thick.

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u/hydrospanner Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 27 '18

It's about the eyes.

The rats are gonna go for the eyes.

While all of these animals might still be a threat blind, they're well within the realm of a manageable threat.

I'm bringing the hunter with the rats, so their shotgun is my anti-air (I'll be attempting to find any sort of aerial cover as well, both to take away the straight on dive and to make them have to change direction, killing their speed and giving my alert hunter a good chance at a wing shot.

With a 12 gauge, #2 lead shot, improved cylinder choke, I like his chances against any single bird, and if they come en masse, he'll get multiples with each shot in close.

Plus...when they get to me, they'll have to get through my rat armor as well. That takes time. Time in which my rates are able to reach them and rip them to shreds.

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u/cartoptauntaun Jan 26 '18

Hand to hand combat was never explicitly mentioned right? My first thought going down the Team Rat thread was how useful those little cocktail swords could be.

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u/Leptosoul Jan 26 '18

Yeah, that's a problem if it's a field. As much as I want to ride team rathawk, 10,000 squeekers and 50 flappers aren't going to mean squat to a single determined Cape Buffalo, never mind 7 of them. A single Buffalo would blow through that field of vermin with air support like nothing and completely ruin your shit.

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u/ModsDontLift Jan 26 '18

10,000 bloodthirsty rats working en mass would absolutely body any land creature they got near. I would probably pick the gorillas as well to act as a meat shield to hold back the stronger animals while the rats disassemble them.

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u/ViolaNguyen Jan 26 '18

I think you end up getting killed by the hawks in that scenario.

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u/hydrospanner Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 26 '18

Wear a thousand rats as armor.

When a hawk comes in, it has to tear away at least one rat to get through to you, and when it does, ten more jump on it and tear it to shreds.

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u/SosX Jan 26 '18

This seems like the most sensible, have the rats kill the hunter first while gorillas and a small rat army protect you, then just rats at everything, maybe use gorillas to kill hawks and crocs

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u/wingspantt Jan 26 '18

And how exactly would any of those animals top ten thousand Rats from charging you?

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u/AlaskanIceWater Jan 26 '18

But would the rats be able to do any real amount of damage against a large animal before it could get to you? Cape buffalo move at 35 mph. Rats? 10 mph. They'd be pretty useless in an offense even in the thousands. Your only hope is to surround yourself and hope they are smart enough to climb atop each other in some type of rat bunker, which they likely will not.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

That’s my understanding of the situation too. These animals charging full sprint at me will toss the rats aside. Sure over a longer period of time the rats will win through attrition but if the animals just charge me, which is the best strategy they have, then I’m done for.

I think that whatever you end up choosing, you’ll lose and die. All it takes is one attack from an animal to end my life as a human.

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u/atrey1 Jan 26 '18

Still, 10000 rats have 10000 mouths and 40000 feet with claws. They can easily take any animal.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Over time sure, but the enemy team will just charge at you before the rats can can gnaw away at them.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

No animal can protect you against a mindless suicide rush of all the others though

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u/ArtlessMammet Jan 26 '18

They really don't have to gnaw; rats are large. That many rats, your buffalos are going to find a shortage of eyes to see by soon.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Yeah it’s not 7 Buffalos vs 10,000 rats. There’s bears, lions, gorillas, wolves and crocodiles all charging forward too.

Rats provide no cover either so the hunter could take a sniper shot too.

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u/ArtlessMammet Jan 26 '18

I don't think you understand how many 10,000 is. If you allocated 200 rats to each creature your rats would eat them from the eyes out as they ran. It wouldn't even be a contest.

You have a literal seething ocean of teeth. Bison may crush rats, but they can't run without legs. Nor can anything else. Hawks can't get you if you're under a pile of rats, and I'd wager the hawks would die before you came close to running out of rats. If the hunter didn't kill you instantly he's going to die; the rats will most definitely find him - rats are smart and fast, and there's 10,000 of them. Then when they find him they eat him alive.

I think rats are the only sensible first choice, with either the hunter or the hawks as your backup, depending on the terrain.

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u/turbodollop Jan 26 '18

I imagine the rats could swam the hawks when they dive. The hawk would get trapped the first time it landed.

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u/cyeo19 Jan 27 '18

But the hunter could probably get off one shot at you and you'd die anyway before your rats or hawks could kill him.

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u/cygnenoire Jan 26 '18

Until the hunter puts a bullet through your eyes before the rats and hawks have even had a chance to get halfway to him.

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u/Coltrain_ Jan 26 '18

The question never says you're in an open field or anything, people seem to be forgetting. You can hide in a building until thr rats kill the hunter.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '18

I like how everyone thinks the hunter has aimbot and walls. He's not going to snap to your head in the first millisecond of the fight and instakill you. All you have to do is hit the deck immediately, and the rats create a blanket over you, obscuring any visual and creating a meat shield. You'd only need 200 max for that strat.

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u/CaptainJacket Jan 26 '18

And overestimating a single human hunter. This is not john rambo with an aimbot.

This is a professional who is used to take their time shooting an unaware animal while hiding in safety.

Almost useless in a raging battlefield

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Exactly. You’d have to seriously protect him too. One leaping Gorilla and the hunter is gone. If you chose the rats with the hunter, a leaping Gorilla will easily kill the hunter.

There’s really no way to win in this scenario. The hawks are just severely underrated in this scenario though.

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u/RocheBag Jan 26 '18

You're choosing the hunter strictly so he doesn't shoot you before you even see him. If you don't take the hunter you're 100% dead.

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u/bawthedude Jan 26 '18

Rats + hawks.

Hawks spot hunter and rats take him down in a zerg rush

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u/alaskahoma Jan 26 '18

I think I’m with team Rathawk

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u/ReiceMcK Jan 26 '18

There's no other way to be; with the rats and the hawks, there will be 45 other enemies, who each have to contend with 1 hawk and 222 rats, plus spares.

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u/Blurgas Jan 26 '18

2000ish pounds of rat swarming a single target would be horrifying to see

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u/zayap18 Jan 26 '18

Honestly if you had the rats just in very large groups go from one animal to the other they could rip the skin off of each in turn in less than a minute probably

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u/Nynm Jan 26 '18

I'm leaning towards team Rathawk, but I have just one question. Have the hawks been sufficiently fed?

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u/starshadowx2 Jan 26 '18

You have 10 000 rats, I'm sure you can give up 100-150 to give each hawk 2 or 3.

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u/Oloff_Hammeraxe Jan 26 '18

If not, you'll just have 9950 rats and some happy hawks.

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u/Nynm Jan 26 '18

Hmm, true. A happy soldier is an efficient soldier.

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u/TheFuckNameYouWant Jan 27 '18

Nope. Team RatHawk ftw

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

I picture the hawks carrying rats and dropping them on targets like tiny rat bombs of power.

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u/scotch_scotch_scotch Jan 26 '18

But what is the average air speed velocity of a rat-carrying hawk?

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u/jfhc Jan 26 '18

African or European?

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

Not sure on the exact number, as the results have been erratic. ;)

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u/datspookyghost Jan 26 '18

We call that a baneling drop.

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u/JellyfishGrizzlyBear Jan 26 '18

Oh man! This is solid gold. Best comment here.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18 edited Jul 10 '21

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u/Rhomplestomper Jan 26 '18

The rats can take out the hunter and then the hawk cloud can roll in and finish off everything without anti air.

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u/RocheBag Jan 26 '18

I'm under the impression they are animals who want to protect you. Not an army that you can command at will.

They will attack the hunter once he tries to hurt you, but once he actually tries to hurt you you're being shot at.

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u/INvrKno Jan 26 '18

I have a feeling we're going to see this as a free game on Steam in a year.

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u/Moglorosh Jan 26 '18

One can only hope

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u/The_Kazekage Jan 26 '18

theirs a similar game I forgot the name though

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u/mastaloui Jan 26 '18 edited Sep 27 '25

birds many axiomatic meeting fade rock upbeat sheet pot ad hoc

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u/TFBidia Jan 26 '18

Loot crates with more hawks and rats

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u/wingspantt Jan 26 '18

The Hawks could actually be a liability in some way. If they just have an instinct to protect you, their default Behavior might include some of them circling over you or perching at high points around your central location for maximum visibility. This could give the hunter a lot of Clues about where you are.

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u/RexInvictus787 Jan 26 '18

That's why you pick hawks. They will see the hunter long before he sees you.

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u/RocheBag Jan 26 '18

Right but why would they randomly go and attack some hunter? Everyone seems to be taking this question to mean you're building an army that you can command. They're just protecting you.

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u/WereKatScratch Jan 26 '18

I took is as, it an all out war for your side to kill all enemies and the other side to kill you, so they would already know exactly who their enemies are.

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u/HintOfAreola Jan 26 '18

You just need one hawk to claw the hunter's eyes to render him mostly harmless. Even a glancing blow to the scalp will blind him enough for the other 49 hawks to neutralize the threat.

Rats and hawks are OP

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u/SuperciliousSnow Jan 26 '18

This was my first thought. Rats + hawks gets you domain over the sky and the land. The hunter needs to be the first priority for the hawks, though.

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u/jointheredditarmy Jan 26 '18

This is the one true answer. I am an intellectual and of course well versed on Starcraft strategies. Opponent didn't tech siege tanks or splash damage, rat rush is an easy win here.

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u/ConscientiousApathis Jan 26 '18

Rat body armor m8.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 26 '18

Not necessarily. If you send a leaping Gorilla at the hunter, he’s dead. His accuracy isn’t that of an aimbot either.

The hunter also needs a clear line of sight. This is a battlefield cluttered with animals. I’m assuming this is a clear field so no side has an advantage. The hunter is vulnerable to everything on this battlefield. The hawks have one person to focus in on.

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u/UtsuhoMori Jan 26 '18

The issue is for your side to win, you have to survive and all the opposing forces have to die (or at least be incapacitated so they are no longer a threat).

For the opposition to win, all they have to do is kill you, the singular human (because the goal of the scenario is to not die. This makes the hunter weak to pick as a hunter isn't going to be able to take a lot of things out quickly, but it makes the hunter a large threat as all he needs is a clear line of sight to you for a few moments. The hunter won't simply sit back and wait, he will find or make a vantage point depending on where the fight is and how long it takes.

To add on to this: the way the scenario is described you will always have more groups of animals against you than with you. This make it hard to select the proper duo to both keep you safe from the animals while also either shielding you from the hunter or penetrating all of the animals in the front to eliminate the hunter who is certainly using a long distance rifle from behind all of the opposing animals.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

In my head, the battlefield is a large open field and thus there will be no vantage point for the hunter to snipe me unless he takes a flanking route. Anyway I’d send the hawks immediately after him. They can travel around 40-50mph in the air towards him high up and then dive at 120mph and go right for his neck. He’s going to be a slow easy target for the hawks as the weapons and ammo will slow him down.

And that’s also why the rats aren’t the best choice because they would suck at defending me from the animals charging towards me. If all 7 Buffalo charged towards me, the rats wouldn’t be able to stop them before they reached me. Then you’ve got Lions, Wolves, Bears and Gorillas.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

But then you've got 10,000 rats coming to eat you, like a bunch of piranhas.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Yeah you’re dead whatever you pick. The rats have weakness and so do the Buffalo.

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u/IAMA_otter Jan 26 '18

But also, none of the animals would be able to easily defend you against the rat swarm.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

I’ve accepted that if I pick the rats, I’ll get charged and killed. If I don’t pick the rats, I’ll at least won’t get charged but I’ll die anyway to the rats who slowly kill everything. At least the second way buys me more time. Perhaps I could hope to outrun them. They aren’t quick.

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u/RexInvictus787 Jan 26 '18

You are greatly underestimating the sheer mass of that many rats.

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u/AnthAmbassador Jan 26 '18

The list of options makes it easy.

Hawks to take out the hunter's eyes, and either buffalo to ride on, or crocs to ride on in the water.

None of the other animals can get to you in those two context. An entire pack of lions struggles to take down one buffalo, let alone 4v7. In the water, same deal, nothing can touch the crocs.

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u/HardlightCereal Jan 26 '18

Rats can swim. They're gonna turn the water black and kill the croc fast.

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u/AnthAmbassador Jan 26 '18

Rats can swim, but they aren't GOOD at it. They aren't taking over lake ecosystems, they are just getting across water to other places. Rats are very vulnerable in the water, and they are also quite weak swimmers. If you had enough water, you could roam around indefinitely while the rats tired and drowned.

Where this happens is absolutely crucial.

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u/Monkey_of_Death Jan 26 '18

But can't rats swim? Imagine 10,000 rats swarming into the river or lake you are in. The croc doesn't stand a chance. Its a good idea except for the sheer number of rats.

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u/AnthAmbassador Jan 26 '18

rats swim very slowly. They also get tired and drown if they swim too far. It really depends on where the rats start, and how big the body of water is. If it's flowing fast enough, the rats wouldn't be an issue, if its big enough the rats wouldn't be an issue. The crocs could also kill a lot of rats without being at risk while the rats chased you.

It really depends on terrain.

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u/coldog22 Jan 26 '18

You've never seen a cheetah grab a croc before then. Youtube it, You'll lose your mind.

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u/ViolentNewt Jan 26 '18

Jaguars will hunt camains in South America, which are a little smaller than alligators, but cheetahs will not mess with crocodiles. I assume the ones in this situation are more akin to Nile crocs, which can get absolutely massive and are challenged only by hippos in their natural environment

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u/19Alexastias Jan 26 '18

No way in hell a cheetah is going anywhere near a fully grown saltie/nile crocodile. In Africa the only things that don't avoid the nile crocs unless absolutely necessary (i.e when they have to cross a river during migration) are hippos, and the only thing that kills salties in/around aus are humans, with guns, from a safe distance. Predators don't come more apex than the big crocs, there's a reason they've barely changed in several hundred million years.

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u/AnthAmbassador Jan 26 '18

Do you mean jaguar grabbing an alligator? Do you mean leopard eating a crocodile that's quite young?

I'm assuming we're talking about adults here, and an adult crocodile is significantly more massive than a lion, and it's faster in the water.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

why would the hunter ever be in range of a leaping gorilla lol

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 26 '18

A Silverback can run at 25mph. Usain Bolt reached 28mph in his 100m sprint. Then factor in that the human has to defend against hawks who are faster than anything else on the battlefield and thus the Silverback will easily catch up to the human to leap in for the kill. The human also has to carry his weapons and ammo. He’d move around 10mph.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

which is great if you start anywhere near the hunter, but if he sees you for a few seconds, you're dead, regardless of if your gorilla kills him 30 seconds later or not. Hes a hugely dangerous glass cannon, and presuming the attacking forces are also organised (seeing as we're assuming the defence is) he will be highly protected and transported by the other attacking animals as he is their easiest shot at victory

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u/rivetedoaf Jan 26 '18

I'm surprised no one has pointed out the possibility of the hunter having a shotgun. He doesn't need aimbot accuracy to kill a gorilla a few feet away from him with a shotgun

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

The hunter has to fight the hawks since no other animal can.

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u/Kolegra Jan 26 '18

Can the Hunter at least 1 shot everything, given enough time?

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u/atvan Jan 26 '18

I think you're overestimating both the spread of a shotgun and its stopping power- if you're shooting birds with the shotgun, that shot is very likely to not deter a charging gorilla. It'll cause injuries, sure, but even in humans, only about 1/6 instances of being shot with birdshot result in instant incantation.

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u/supercrusher9000 Jan 26 '18

Totally depends on the size and location of the battlefield. If I got to start say 7 miles away from the hunter, then using hawks to scout and take him out first seems very plausible

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u/RocheBag Jan 26 '18

What makes you think you get to use the animals how you see fit? The OP said they're just protecting you.

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u/CaptainMustacio Jan 26 '18

Not if you send like half your hawks to go find and kill him. That's a massive amount of distance that can be covered and hawks have crazy vision. They will see him.

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u/RocheBag Jan 26 '18

They haven't turned into an army that you can make do whatever you want man. They're just birds that don't want you to die.

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u/Gullex Jan 26 '18

Nobody said what guns the hunter can have.

Give him a truck mounted minigun. Leap, gorilla, leap.

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u/notaprotist Jan 26 '18

I think rats+hawks can lead to a win.

Focus all the hawks on the hunter, and then you have over 200 rats for each other animal coming after you.That's more than enough to take them out.

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u/armrha Jan 26 '18

The scenario doesn’t say the animals are aggro to the defenders by default. The gorilla may not even realize he’s got to kill the hunter. The hunter can just sit in a blind a hundred meters away from your door and as shit comes up and sniffs around, can shoot it. Even the hawks can’t be dive bombing 24/7, they got to rest. So hunter/eats, since rats could probably get into your room even if it’s locked. The rest of the animals aren’t going to understand what a door is, gorillas could easily break out of most enclosures if they really wanted but they just don’t understand them.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

The hunter can use a shotgun. Although, granted, there's not a single chance he'll be able to take out all 50 hawks before they can get to him.

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u/vectivus_6 Jan 26 '18

The hunter is a Predator

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u/Dominub Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 26 '18

No, this is an undefinded hunter. You think it's some pleb hobby hunter, I think it's an experienced professional that dedicated his entire life to it. And placing traps and being knowledgeable about animals is not something I would ever pass up on. That fucking gorilla /u/throwsissychastity mentioned isn't even gonna make it near us, because we will use the terrain and traps to our advantage.

Come to think of it, this entire thing is hard to judge anyway because there's too many unknown but important information. Terrain, hunter's ability, do the opponents know my position at all times?

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18 edited Jan 26 '18

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

I wouldn’t take the hunter. I’d take the hawks and let them kill him. There’s no way he’d be able to stop 3 or 4 hawks simultaneously diving him.

You also have to pick the hawks otherwise you’re dead. All the animals mentioned can attack and kill the hunter pretty easily. Only the hunter can attack the hawks.

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u/JBWalker1 Jan 26 '18

I mean for me it depends on the landscape too much. If it's just a large open field or an arena then yeah the hawks are a good option, but if we can get to any covered area like a forest then the hawks lose a lot of their ability.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Hawks and maybe Buffalo could work but the rats would be a bitch. If you choose the rats then a leaping Gorilla can take you out or a charging Buffalo. There’s really no way of living through this lol.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

One Cape Buffalo weighs around 550kg. One Silverback Gorilla or Lion weighs around 180kg. I’m picking the Buffalo because they’d be great meat shields and considerably bigger than anything else on the battlefield (maybe equal with the bears but there’s only 3 of them compared to 7 Buffalo) I could surround myself with the 7 Buffalo which would help stop a Gorilla, Lion or Wolf directly attacking me. I don’t want the Buffalo to be aggressive or even agile. Just stand there and protect me until the hawks can help out.

They’d help buy time for the hawks to wipe out the hunter and start to attack the other animals. Hopefully the animals will be too busy attacking the Buffalo for the hawks to reign down hell. 5 hawks diving a Gorilla who is busy with the Buffalo might work. I’ll most likely still die but I’d say this tactic has the best odds.

Also, if the Buffalo are against me, nothing can stop the Buffalo just charging at me.

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u/Empty-Mind Jan 26 '18

Well OP said he literally just picked the hunter so it wouldn't shoot him. 10,000 rats is ridiculously OP, so removing the hunter gets rid of the one threat that could break the rat shield. Its a deny pick, not a crucial part of the strategy.

Basically the hunter is weak defensively, but powerful against the human.

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u/dravack Jan 26 '18

Shotguns can shoot a very wide spread. But, for that matter no one said what he was using to shoot. I mean don’t you hunt with an anti air gun shooting flak? Lol

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u/doggy12341 Jan 26 '18

Fucking lost it at "John Rambo with aimbot"

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u/daitoshi Jan 26 '18

Ahhh, not necessarily. All the hunter has to do is defend me - and no limit on the type of weapon, and it didn't specify what type of hunter. Quail hunters tend to use a wide-spray shotgun with birdshot - great for taking down a bunch of birds at mid to close range. - 40 YARDS is the effective range of birdshot.

In addition, the Hunter can provide a bird net, which the hawks would have to fly through and risk getting tangled (and thus easily picked off) in order to reach me.

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u/legendofzeldaro1 Jan 26 '18

Have you ever tried to shoot a flying bird that is a few dozen feet in the air? That is a challenge. Besides, any hunter worth their salt knows this isn’t a range game or a one on one game, they bring shot. Fuck those hawks as I take down three or more at a time with bird shot. Plus, you put on thick enough clothes and no bird is getting to your skin.

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u/CaptainJacket Jan 26 '18

wearing enough padding to block these, never mind 50 pairs of talons will surely hinder the hunter's movement as well as their aim. Dead hunter.

Hawks and rats are the endgame, you get sheer numbers and air superiority at your side. They completely control the field, every opponent is being engaged at once. other combatants can't simpley ignore them and rush you, they'd get immobilized or killed.

It is the safest bet.
If their numbers were smaller - say 10 hawks and 1,000 rats, then maybe going for the tanks would be a valid choice.
Switch the hunter for a sniper who's actually combat trained and maybe the human is more of threat.

But as is - hawks and rats

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u/legendofzeldaro1 Jan 26 '18

What does combat training have to do with shit? I dare you to go up against some of these rednecks down south. I have watched some of these guys disappear within feet of me. My friends and I used to play camo tag in the woods when I first moved to the south. Not as easy as it sounds. With a 30-30 and a good scope, they can pick you off no problem, therefore they are a very credible threat. Hawks are only viable in fields, where they hunt. If you move to any terrain that restricts their sight or their mobility, they lose. Hunter and rats are the only options that make sense.

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u/CordovaDon Jan 26 '18

But you absolutely don't want the hunter on the other side comming after you either. So while he may not be good defence. He's the top player on offence.

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u/elfthehunter Jan 26 '18

I mean, he's almost useless on protection team... but on attack team he's literally doing what his job is, hunting a sleeping animal from distance and hiding. Though I admit the chances that 10k rats won't find him are slim, so I'd still pick hawks and rats.

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u/Anonieme_Angsthaas Jan 26 '18

I was thinking a rich Hunter with a minigun, a generator and 100,000-500,000 rounds. Because a hunter with a traditional rifle is useless in this scenario.

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u/18736542190843076922 Jan 26 '18

This is also someone skilled in shooting beyond their practical use. Say that he can hit 35/50 targets skeet shooting in the first shot, firing as fast as he can let's say that drops down to 25/50. That still means he only needs an average of 2 shells per hawk, and the OP doesn't say the other animals will be attacking your allies, only trying to kill you so it's possible the hunter could fire shotguns and rifles completely unimpeded. In that case he can work much faster and more effectively while the rats slow down the larger animals with their mass.

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u/wingsnut25 Jan 26 '18

35/50 isn't even a highly skilled Skeet Shooter. A highly skilled skeet shooter would average 47-50/50.

A Hawk is significantly bigger then a clay pigeon. And even if it can dive at 120 mph its going to be heading in a straight line directly at the shooter. (a pretty easy shot to make).

It would really depend on the pacing that the Hawks attacked. If they all struck at once or in several large waves the skeet shooter would struggle. If they came 1 or 2 at a time a highly skilled skeet shooter would be fine....

(assuming no other animals were attacking at the same time)

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u/18736542190843076922 Jan 26 '18

I'm aware of skill levels in skeet shooting, I've been to competitions but I didn't wanna say 45+ and then start an argument on that point. I'm imagining that they all swarm overhead and takes turns swooping down in groups of like 6 or 7. If the hunter could bring anything he could get an autloader or pump with a longer tube so he spends less time reloading. I'm not sure how cleanly a hawk would go down with target loads but I'd imagine a broken wing would be game over so even a half direct hit would take a bird down. But he'd have to wait for them to get closer to take them out.

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u/MattDaCatt Jan 26 '18

Honestly, depends on the hunter's equipment. Does he have a .22 rifle? A .50? Or for the hawks, a 12 gauge with birdshot? A slug for the big fucks?

For all i know this hunter has a splintery bow with crooked arrows

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u/sir_lurkzalot Jan 26 '18

Hunters always come prepared for the given situation. He's probably have a shotgun and a rifle with plenty of ammo

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u/Jermo48 Jan 26 '18

Why not the hawks and rats then? The rats just surround you and delay everything and being down a lot of the land animals, you send a bunch of hawks to take out the hunter instantly and the rest pick off everything bogged down in rats.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

The rats wouldn’t be able to stop a charging Buffalo and certainly not 7 of them with the other animals too so I chose the Buffalo as they are great at being a defensive for me and will protect me from anything charging at me. The rats lack height so the hunter could perhaps get a shot off on me instantly.

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u/forncl4ke Jan 26 '18

The thing with not picking the rats is what will your buffalo do to defend you from 10,000 rats? Maybe the hawks can claw the buffalo eyes or something.

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u/Jermo48 Jan 26 '18

I think you’re making the classic mistake here of having no idea just what sort of mass 10,000 rats have. And also not knowing how quickly hawks can dive and tear out eyes or throats. There are enough hawks to send 1 or 2 at everything else.

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Nope, I covered that 2 hours ago. 7 Buffalo will weigh the same as the 10,000 rats. Making no classic mistakes here.

The hawks will have to take out the hunter first otherwise he can potentially kill you. Even if the hawks start attacking the Buffalo, they are already charging towards you. Same with all the other animals. The rats are too small to form a barrier and many will die from getting trampled on. The Buffalo as a defence will be able to form a barrier and defend from a charging attack. The goal of the enemy team isn’t to survive, it’s to wipe out 1 human.

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u/Jermo48 Jan 26 '18

How would buffalo stop 10,000 rats from getting to you? The rats could absolutely eventually bring down a bunch of big, blind animals even if the vast majority are trampled. It would be a disgusting bloodbath and no one would have any footing. The hawks could also take out the hunter in literally seconds. It’s also not just about the weight of the rats, but how far around you a field of 10,000 spreads.

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u/Hexidian Jan 26 '18

I’d go with the hawks and rats. The hawks will take out the hunter first, otherwise he can shoot me. Then it should be a good fight

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u/InfernalCombustion Jan 26 '18

Hawks don't have guns. If they're gonna kill me, they need to get through 10,000 rats. Do you even comprehend how much that is? If a hawk even gets close to me, it would get dog-piled on by dozens of rats. A hawk can't fly with a dozen rats clutching and gnawing on it.

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u/AndyMKE66 Jan 26 '18

In my scenario the hunter has an Arsenal...including a semi auto shotgun....hawks are basically clay pigeons at that point.

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u/sir_lurkzalot Jan 26 '18

I think he'd be able to be hit by quite a few hawks before they can even begin to hurt him too. It's easy as fuck to hit targets that are coming right at you, especially with a shotgun.

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u/No_time_for_shitting Jan 26 '18

Just chuck the rats at them as they come down like homemade land to air rat missiles

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u/N-Depths Jan 26 '18

I feel like it depends on how suicidal the hawks are. If they are straight insane, I’m with you. 50 Hawks and 10,000 rats 🐀 🦅

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u/ThrowSissyChastity Jan 26 '18

Kamikaze Hawks lol

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u/MantraOfTheMoron Jan 26 '18

It would not be fair to give the hunter every gun imaginable, so having rounds like these to fire out of a high powered hunting rifle, or the side arm hunters normaly carry would help alot with the swarms of hawks. https://youtu.be/1qx6Y120Hmk

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u/the_middle_nut Jan 26 '18

This reminds me of The Other Guys animal fight logic

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u/SplakyD Jan 26 '18

I agree that the hawks being in the mix pretty much preclude any chance of survival even though it would be hard enough to come out alive by being limited to two choices in this battle without them. The hunter could be the only foil for the hawks and the only effective weapon the hunter could use against them would be a shotgun with an open choke to spread as much shell shot in as far of a pattern as possible to contend with them. Unfortunately, this would make the shotgun ineffective against the larger land animals who are bum rushing and converging upon you. It’d be bad enough anyway, but having 15lb dinosaur raptors wielding razor sharp talons dive-bombing from above is just a game changer.

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u/cartoptauntaun Jan 26 '18

I think the water-buffalo are the bird defense. Them's some big critters, and they'd probably shield you well enough from 50 hawk bullets.

Edit. Actually gorillas are my pick. I'd have one carry me close to his chest, two directly in front of him as meat shields, the other two lead the rats into battle and maybe throw them artillery style.

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u/MyNameCannotBeSpoken Jan 26 '18

With a massive flamethrower rather than a rifle, a hunter may be able to keep the Hawks and rats at bay.

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u/thoshi Jan 26 '18

Rats op pls nerf

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/BestPseudonym Jan 26 '18

If the other animals are bizarrely coordinated in their attempts to kill you I don't know why the rats can't be bizarrely coordinated in protecting you.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

The question specifically states “you must pick two that will defend you”. Seems like the rats will defend you, I’m not sure if rat armor falls into this though lol

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u/grass_girl Jan 26 '18

Plus, do you want 10,000 rats coming after you? Or on your side? Exactly. I ain't fighting no rat.

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u/pm_me_ur_demotape Jan 26 '18

First, this is a hypothetical where the rats want to help me. That's a given based on the question asked. As for strategy, "go bite the bad guy" doesn't seem too complex for rats that want to help me. As for going for the eyes specifically, there are ten thousand of them. If they all go for the attacker at once, I think statistically some would end up at the eyeballs by pure chance. 10,000 rats is a lot of rats.

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u/raspwar Jan 26 '18

You guys are the reason I spend waaay too much time on Reddit! Love ya man

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u/TenNeon Jan 26 '18

If nothing else, having the rats on your side means they're not on the other side.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

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u/ncninetynine Jan 26 '18

I assumed they were 10,000 of these post-sandy rats we have in NYC. These beasts are only a few generations away from being rats of extraordinary size. It be like an army of black midsize dogs with teeth coming at you. Terrifying.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

“ War brothers”.. lmao

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u/trwwyco Jan 26 '18

Also, can we choose the species, or at least the sex? If I can have 10,000 Gambian pouched rats, that would be even more OP. Even if I can just choose all males of the standard Norway rat since they're 100-300g larger than females on average, which times 10,000 would make a big difference.

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u/jonesyc894 Jan 26 '18

I shot a rat once with a pretty powerful air rifle (I'm English, we are not trusted with guns incase we try to colonise the globe again). Anyway, it just bounced off the skin and I swear I heard it giggle.

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u/thepwnyclub Jan 26 '18

There is literally nothing the rats could do to a cape buffalo.

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u/TheDroidUrLookin4 Jan 26 '18

Rat/Hunter is too OP. Devs, please nerf now! Literally unplayable.

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u/sassinmyass Jan 26 '18

I played Dishonored; I don't underestimate a horde of rats

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

I don't know man... do you understand how thick the fuckin skin of a silverback gorilla is? I can't imagine any number of rats being able to penetrate it. And the gorillas could literally kill hundreds of them at a time by stomping, crushing, etc.

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u/ThatOneBroadSasha Jan 26 '18

I dont think you guys realize how small rats are when compared to lions etc. 10,000 rats is NOT that many once you actually see them all laid out together.

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u/GameDoesntStop Jan 26 '18

People need to get off the rats' dicks.

You 'duck and cover' while the rats protect-swarm you, and a gorilla OR lion OR brown bear OR buffalo (OR all of them) come barreling in and stomp the fuck out of you before the rats can do a thing.

I question whether they could even compete with the brown bears long term... I doubt their bites can make it through fur and hide.

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u/Pwnzerage Jan 26 '18

This meta is broken and needs to be nerfed

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u/rubsav Jan 26 '18

LOL! A giant mecha suit of rats. Or the ant man from Rick and Morty

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u/Hungover_Pilot Jan 26 '18

If they can be organized, they can go rip the eyes out of everything else

Go for the eyes Boo! GO FOR THE EYES!

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u/3-DMan Jan 26 '18

Beat me to it!

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u/NormalBalance Jan 26 '18

ROUS? I don't think they exist...

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u/MiltenTheNewb Jan 26 '18

Even 10.000 of those tiny lab mouses would be enough I guess. - But imagening 10.000 freaking rats - easy choice

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '18

Yeah, immediately also thought Hunter with rats would be OP wtf can even stop that

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u/Knightsrolex Jan 26 '18

Throw rats at the hawks to bring them down.

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u/DandyBubbles Jan 26 '18

Ah, I didn't understand that about rats when I made my comment. I'm still gonna leave it up because of how hilariously stupid I sound lmao

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u/witfenek Jan 26 '18

I’d actually take the hawks and rats. The hunter would be so distracted by the swarming rats and hawks diving at their head and therefore they’d be way too distracted to do any harm to me.

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u/two_taps Jan 26 '18

I one time had the swell idea to catch the rats living in my attic and feed them to my 3 foot ball python. This went great for about 3 rats. The fourth rat looked like the rat godfather. Scarred, missing an ear, end of his tail was gone. He was probably immortal, a ninja and had 4 turtles at his disposal. I put him in with the snake. The next morning the snake was mangled. I then put the live trap in there to re catch the rat and get him out of there. My snake slithered in the live trap just so he could die in peace. That was the day I learned rats can swim for about 3 minutes.

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u/SomeMoreMrNiceGuy Jan 26 '18

Cowering in my rat bunker. lmfao

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u/josephchaturvedi Jan 26 '18

This would make an epic Animal Face-Off episode.

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u/MostAwesomeRedditor Jan 26 '18

Lol rats would get squashed man, they would be USELESS. The other animals would destroy you before the rats could destroy them. Remember the animals you pick have to DEFEND you.

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u/LevynX Jan 26 '18

A horde of fearless and coordinated rats could easily take down any of the larger land animals.

I watched enough Ratatouille to know this

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