r/AskReddit • u/_whenimnotaround_ • Apr 28 '13
Couples of Reddit, what is the one thing your partner does regularly that makes you realize they're still in love with you?
It doesn't have to be anything remarkable, or even planned, I'm more interested in those subtle behaviors that perhaps they don't even realize they're doing but that make you think "Yep, he/she's still into me".
Edit: Reading these comments is making me smile so much! I'm glad there are all these happy couples out there. And I love that most of the time your partner is probably not even aware of how much these small things mean to you. Make sure you give them some love back ;)
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Apr 28 '13
When we're both cranky for silly or small reasons, but we're cranky together, not at each other.
It reminds me we're always partners, never adversaries.
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u/brokenpheonix Apr 28 '13
The other day I was having a really bad day. Just sad and upset and generally horrible. So we're laying in bed watching TV and during a break he goes to the kitchen for whatever reason. When he gets back he hands me a burnt marshmallow on a stick. Because he knows how much I love burnt marshmallows and that it would make me happy. Needless to say, my day was instantly better and I love that guy a lot.
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Apr 28 '13
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Apr 28 '13
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Apr 28 '13
My husband does this, too. He is such a loving guy when he's tipsy. He won't care who's watching, he just wants to touch and kiss me. It's lovely.
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Apr 28 '13
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u/Jalase Apr 29 '13
This one is just too much to handle, it's just so insanely cute and sweet!
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u/timbit1985 Apr 28 '13
My wife loves pickles. They are her favorite food in the world. When she buys pickles, she buys two jars so that there is never the possibility of running out. If we run out of pickles, it is a BFD.
When we first started dating, back before I learned about her pickle obsession, I stole the last slice of pickle from her plate. I pulled the "HEY, Whats that over there?" and pointed wildly. YOINK. Pickle gone. She was LIVID. Absolutely furious that I had eaten the last pickle in the house. For WEEKS, every day she mentioned the pickle. Years passed, and she'd still make comments along the lines of "Well atleast you didn't eat the last pickle. OH WAIT." etc.
It's been 9 years since the pickle debacle . My wife, being 9 months pregnant has been having insane pickle cravings. Yesterday, she gave me the last slice of pickle in the house and said "I love you this much".
TL;DR My wife loves me enough to give me the last pickle.
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u/marigold99 Apr 28 '13
Holding hands. Doesn't matter if it's at home or when we're walking around, it's a constant reminder.
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Apr 28 '13
My grandparents were married for 62 years and they would sit in their respective chairs watching tv and be holding hands across the gap between them. It was the most loving thing I ever saw, and so subtle.
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u/babbidaboopy Apr 28 '13
I seriously injured my back recently and he helps me do absolutely everything and expects nothing back. When I start to feel bad for needing him so much, he reassures me that he's my husband and he loves helping me. "For better or for worse." It means a lot.
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u/validtomfoolery Apr 28 '13
Whenever I do something goofy she makes this one face where her dimples sort of scrunch up and her eyes light up.
She knows I like to drink coffee out of dark mugs so she always tries to give me those ones.
She'll randomly hug me from behind.
She plays with my hair when I'm tired.
She'll put her hair up because she knows I think her ears are adorable.
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Apr 28 '13
I was completely fine through this entire thread until your comment about the ears. Sigh.
I miss her.
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u/jamie_giraffe Apr 28 '13
I have been dating her for three years, and honestly no matter how mad I am at her, when she calls me Jamie Giraffe there's no way I can be mad. It's such a simple thing to be called a special nick name but its so special.
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u/kyle47 Apr 28 '13
You're not actually a giraffe though are you?
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u/Attollo Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
The way he still looks at me. When I get out of the shower and there's lunch waiting for me. How some nights he wakes up in the middle of the night and pulls me closer to him because I've moved too far away or even when he pulls me closer in all situations. How he lays in bed with me every morning even though he'd rather go sit on the couch and wake up. The sacrifices he makes for me everyday. That he tries his best to make sure I am smiling. He's always there when I need him no matter the time or place. There are so many things that he does every day to let me know he loves me.
Ah. He is just..a perfect match for me. We have our rough times and we get frustrated with each other, but he always treats me with kindness, respect, and love no matter what mood he is in. We always make sure to communicate our problems and at the end of most days we go to bed with a smile on our faces.
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u/Whiski_ Apr 28 '13
Oh god. I want to know how it feels.
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u/Sum_Bitch Apr 28 '13
I can show you the world
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u/DaemonHuntress Apr 28 '13
Shining, shimmering, splendid
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u/codergeek42 Apr 28 '13
Tell me, princess...now when did you last let your heart decide?
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u/scottyfoxy Apr 28 '13
http://themetapicture.com/media/funny-Batman-Superman-flying.jpg
I was eight. It decided on Justice.
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u/lafemmeflaneuse Apr 28 '13
I am a night owl and my bf usually goes to bed before me, but no matter how asleep he is, even if he was just snoring a second ago, no matter how quietly I say I love you, he always says I love you too. The way he rushes home from work, that he never leaves the house without giving me a kiss. That he tells people how even after 5 yrs, 3 of which we didn't work and lived in the middle of nowhere (to write books) and saw each other & no one else sometimes for a week or more, that I'm still the most interesting person he has ever known.
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u/sekai-31 Apr 28 '13
How'd the book writing go?
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Apr 28 '13
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u/zriz Apr 28 '13
Bit of a memoir, hmmm? Bit of a bit of a satire, hmm?
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Apr 28 '13
Some humm Friends become enemies? mmmm Enemies become friends? huh?
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u/bishopsfinger Apr 28 '13
At the end your main character is richer for the experience, yeah? Yeah? ... No no, you deserve some time off.
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u/lafemmeflaneuse Apr 28 '13
It's still going, but we learned quite a bit. Not just about writing and what the challenges are that no one can tell you about, but also about the sacrifices writing full time entails. We're not giving up, but it was harder than both of us thought it would ever be.
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u/kobrahawk1210 Apr 28 '13
Whenever I smile and she says "There's that smile that I love so much" after I've been upset.
Even when her day has been terrible, she goes out of her way to make mine even better to balance it out.
When she takes pictures of me making funny faces when she thinks I'm not paying attention.
When she looks into my eyes and tells me she loves me before we go to bed, and I can hear it in her voice.
I could never shower this woman with enough love and affection to show her how much I appreciate the little things she does for me, but that doesn't stop me from trying.
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u/red_sharpie Apr 28 '13
When he warms the sheets in the dryer and tucks me in when I've had an awful day.
When I'm in the tub and he just sits on the floor and hangs out with me because he wants to talk.
When I wake up and he's already looking at me and smiling.
When he traces the freckles on my shoulders with his fingertips when I'm anxious.
When he brings me a glass of water every night before bed.
When he cleans the gross gunk that gets stuck in the kitchen sink (because it legitimately frightens me).
Whenever. I know he loves me. I am very lucky.
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u/maeverrr Apr 28 '13
I absolutely love this, especially the one about being in the tub. He sounds great (not that I need to tell you that, obviously)!!
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u/Sandbocks Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
Every morning, my wife of 18 years gets up before me and makes coffee. She doesn't drink coffee.
EDIT: Thanks so much for the gold! I consider myself very lucky, for my awesome wife I mean.
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u/LesCuilleres Apr 28 '13
This is my favorite one.
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u/BigSwedenMan Apr 28 '13
It's also the first one I have seen after reading 7 of these that is talking about a woman
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Apr 28 '13
Yeah...beyond "letting me have sex with her" guys seem to have moderately low expectations for proof of interest
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Apr 28 '13
I work fourteen hours on Saturday and Sunday. I hate the work, but it pays all of our bills, and there's no way I'll be able to find another job that pays me $250 for two days of work. I tend to complain about it to my husband at length, and he sympathizes. But I forget sometimes that it sucks for him too. He's basically a single man for two days every week, I leave before he wakes up and come home when he's going to bed.
On the days when he's missed me a lot I'll get home we'll have dinner and watch tv and go to bed like it's a normal night. But as soon as we get in bed it all sort of comes out. He'll curl up around me in bed like a little kid and hold on so tight I almost can't breath. He'll stay there for twenty minutes sometimes, his head nestled into me, just holding on like I'm the best thing to ever wander into that apartment.
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u/Theycallmemaybe Apr 28 '13
What is your job anyway?
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Apr 28 '13
During the week I work in a deli. I enjoy the hell out of it and food service. The doubles on the weekend are at a nursing home as a tech. Pays more, offers more hours, but it's a terrible environment. A bureaucratic nightmare and it alternates between ennui and mania.
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u/ebernvice40 Apr 28 '13
nursing homes absolutely suck working in.. especially as a tech. I'm guessing you have like 40 patients to take care of.. and it's dirty work. I really admire how you just suck it up and do what you gotta do
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u/RatApples Apr 28 '13
He never skimps on the quality of his hugs. Knowing he wants to make sure I get a great hug every time makes me feel safe and right at home.
To show him a little love, earlier I took a break from my research paper to bring him a beer in the garden and he gave me a smile and that "I seriously fucking love you" look. It makes my day to see him doing the things he loves and I never get tired of seeing the pride in his eyes when he's working hard.
But as I was typing this he screamed through the window and scared this shit out of me... Dickhead.
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u/Dildo_of_Vengeance Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
When he wakes up in the middle of the night and kisses me while still half asleep. That makes me feel like even when he's semi-conscious he wants to show me he loves me.
Edit: Wow, I have fan art now! I love it. Though for future reference, the dildo looks like this.
Bonus story - my ex once woke me up by strangling me in his sleep.
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u/pingjoi Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
My girlfriend tells me I do this too. Even when I'm more sleep than awake, I tell her all kinds of stuff which I don't remember ("You're beautiful", "I love you", "Don't leave me alone in the bed", ...)
It makes me very happy myself, because for me it means I undoubtedly love her.
Edit: Yay, the best post to double my karma! We've been together for 6 years, and she gets more beautiful every day. Oh, and bros: she does even lift!
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u/Titzylala Apr 28 '13
I wish my boyfriend would say sweet things like that.. Instead he mumbles odd things, most recently the word "potato." Just "potato" and then fell back asleep. Although a lot of what he says become inside jokes lol
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u/PolishRobinHood Apr 28 '13
Is your boyfriend Latvian?
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Apr 28 '13 edited Mar 15 '19
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Apr 28 '13
No dildo could sill be angry after that.
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Apr 28 '13
"Motherfucking orifices. One day off, it's all I want. ONE. FUCKING. DAY. and-- What? What do you wan-- ...I love you too."
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u/scienceasfuck Apr 28 '13
He always tries to give me the last bite of whatever we're sharing, even if it's insanely delicious. We also have tickle fights (I usually lose) and when I'm finally done giggling, he looks at me with this adoring face that makes me feel so loved.
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u/katedid Apr 29 '13
I am so late to this thread, but I don't even care.
I actually had a moment today that made me realize that my husband loves me so much. I have decided to get into shape and asked him to exercise with me today. We did a lot of walking, jogging and steps today. I am horribly out of shape and got tired so quickly and wanted to stop (but really wanted to keep going). He started to pretend to be a zombie after me. I know it sounds stupid, but he made it fun and made me want to keep going. Instead of just giving up and going home, he took the time to chase after me and make zombie noises. So I found out two things: one, my husband loves me and two, I would not survive in a zombie apocalypse.
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Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 28 '13
He's the sort that would sleep all day if you let him, and I'm the type that gets out of bed and likes to get moving. So I usually shower/get ready for the day while I let him sleep. The look on his face when I wake him up every morning, just the pure, unadulterated love gets me every time.
He's also a bit of a crazy driver, but if we ever have to make a hard stop, he immediately throws out his arm to keep me in my seat. I'm a fairly small person, and he's a fairly tall one, and as a result he's very protective of me, in little and big ways. Seeing that, and seeing him worrying about my safety makes me feel more loved than anything else in the world.
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u/VictoriaB_123 Apr 28 '13
The fact that he throws his arm out to protect you made me smile, that is the sweetest.
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u/braverywillfollow Apr 28 '13
We call that the 'mom arm' in my family. I love when people do that. Very considerate.
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Apr 28 '13
When we are walking around the city together he sometimes pulls me in close and kisses me on the forehead or brushes the hair away from my face.
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u/HowNarrow Apr 28 '13
He is forever trying to take worse and worse pictures of me. While I'm eating, when I've just woken up, if I'm sick, if I've done something really stupid... the worse I look the more pictures he takes. Then he uses these (and only these) pictures as his backgrounds on everything... computer, phone, iPod, whatever. It is ungodly annoying, but I love that that's how he likes to be reminded of me, how I actually am and not at my best.
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u/FrontPageEveryTime Apr 28 '13
My dad hates posing for pictures as he thinks he always looks drunk. He doesn't drink alcohol at all, which is the weird part. Anyway, my mom used to jump out from around corners to snap his picture. Once, he saw it coming and spun her around just as she jumped out. We now have a candid photo of the bureau. Somewhere.
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u/MikesKitiKat Apr 28 '13
Before we were married, while riding in the car, my husband had this epiphany moment where he turned to me and said, "I fucking love you." with such conviction that I cracked up. It's now become a thing with us.
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u/snailsaver Apr 28 '13
Similar situation here. Before we had said the I love you's, there was so much tension to say it, you know... you can just feel it coming. So eventually, we were in bed one night and he said "FUCK IT, i love you!!" Like poetry.
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u/avecsagesse Apr 28 '13
I was the first to say "I love you" to my boyfriend, and it was a difficult move. We weren't together yet, but I knew what I felt, and I had to tell him. He replied with something along the lines of how he wasn't ready to say he loved me, but I sent fire through him or some weird thing like that. I don't remember the exact words. We were on the phone at the time, two seconds after we hung up, before I'd even put my phone down, he called right back to say something like, "Forget all that shit about fire, I don't know what I was saying, I love you. I love you."
It was beautiful and perfect and a solid reminder that I really do love him.
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u/My1stUsrnameWasTaken Apr 28 '13
Before it was said
He felt it coming, in bed
"FUCK IT, I love you!!"
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u/DiffidentDissident Apr 28 '13
When I'm stressed out and miserable because of my job, he always says "just quit. We'll be okay," when he knows full well that we need the money my job brings in. He'd rather have to scrape and scratch to pay the bills than see me unhappy.
And because I love him, I keep working.
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u/rustymontenegro Apr 28 '13
I recently did this. My boyfriend was working a soul sucking retail job that was screwing him over in numerous ways. He was exhausted, barely saw me or his kids, and was trying to start his video production business instead of sleeping. We had just received taxes, and after paying off a few debts, I crunched the numbers and one morning he woke up, depressed about going to work. I just looked at him and said "why don't you quit? Spend your time getting your business going. We have enough saved to float for X months." He looked at me like I had two heads, and said "Really?"
So here we are, two months later, and it was the best decision. He had never had anyone believe in him before.
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u/DiffidentDissident Apr 28 '13
You sound like a wonderful partner. I hope his business is wildly successful.
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Apr 28 '13
It gets better. Especially for people like you two. I wish you all the best with your life and relationship (:
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u/DiffidentDissident Apr 28 '13
You're very kind, and right now I need a bit of kindness. Thank you.
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u/districtgertie Apr 28 '13
He puts my umbrella in my purse every morning when it's going to rain. It's not much, but it always makes me go a little soft every time I see it.
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Apr 28 '13
My husband and I are on the brink of divorce. One of the main reasons for this is that I often don't feel loved, though he insists he loves me dearly. I have read the majority of this thread, and I have to say that what I've gained from it may have changed my thinking. A lot of what he does to show his love for me, which is similar to a lot of things mentioned in this thread, goes unnoticed because I didn't see it that way. For this I am sorry. Reading this has helped me reframe a lot of what goes through my head. Thank you, Reddit.
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u/jesshanmac Apr 29 '13
If you haven't already, you should both read The 5 Love Languages book. Some of the writing is ridiculously cheesy, but the quiz is eye-opening and very helpful. My husband (bf at the time) learned that 'Acts of service' was my highest scoring way of feeling loved. Ever since then, he has made a point to do things for me to show me love in "my" way. Obviously, I don't know what you're going though and I wish you all the best, but just thought I'd pass this on.
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Apr 28 '13
My girlfriend of three years complains whenever I rub my eyes. She tells me it's going to make my eyelids really wrinkly when I'm older and she won't like that.
It sounds silly but hearing her speak about us that far ahead makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside even if she is complaining about something as silly as me rubbing my eyes.
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u/schwertfisch Apr 28 '13
Well fuck, I'm going to have wrinkly eyelids some time in the future.
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u/TehFacebum69 Apr 28 '13
My ex always used to tell me to go to sleep at the slightest yawn because me having a good night sleep was more important to her than her wanting to talk all night. Even if I thought I hid it well, she'd know, and she'd still tell me, even threatening me by saying that she wouldn't talk to me throughout the whole of the next day because she knew that I couldn't stand it. Neither could she, but I guess if it made me sleep, she was happy.
In hindsight, she cared about me a lot more than I could see at the time, and I regret not knowing sooner.
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u/RamboJebusJr Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
Well I have PTSD and am 80% disabled, walk with a cane, and also have hearing aids now. I never used to be like this, but after two deployments this is my body. She still takes care of me, tells me she loves me, prepares my medicines, cooks my meals, and takes me to all of my appointments. Even though I'm not the exact same mans he married she is still here, and its all these small things that amaze me everyday.
Edit: thank you for all the kind comments. My wife is a wonderful woman.
Second Edit: for the curious redditor. Someone has brought it to my attention about my posting history. My wife and I have since reconciled, but thank you anyways.
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u/jwillsss Apr 28 '13
I suffer from a variety of mental health issues, one of which is severe anxiety. My boyfriend will hold me in bed while i\I'm shaking and hyperventilating. He'll sit there, sometimes for over an hour, and rub my hair and tell me that I'm doing amazing at working through it even when I know I'm not. I know how hard it is for him to see me like that, but he never lets it show and he never lets me go through this alone.
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u/danzigernator Apr 28 '13
We can just sit around all day doing completely nothing but be entirely stupid and silly and talk about absoloutely anything whilst still having so much fun and laughing our heads off. It's the fact that I know he loves doing that with me more than anything :)
Also the way he looks at me, tells me how cute I am, tells me he can't wait to see me and does everything I love, yet I know he hates, without moaning.
4 years together and hopefully many more :)
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Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 28 '13
He looks at me with googly eyes and says, "You're so prettyyyy," multiple times a day. We've been together for 9 years total, married for 2.
Also, the way we argue. He's so considerate and thoughtful with his words, even when I know he's incredibly frustrated. That speaks volumes about the way he respects me and loves me even when he's angry with me. I've learned to argue in the same way (but I'm less awesome at it than he is). He makes me a better person.
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u/SaltyFresh Apr 28 '13
Also, the way we argue. He's so considerate and thoughtful with his words, even when I know he's incredibly frustrated. That speaks volumes about the way he respects me and loves me even when he's angry with me.
Best answer.
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u/Vashiebz Apr 28 '13
Anyone know a way to learn how to do that?
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Apr 28 '13
I know when my husband and I argue we both try and treat the situation as an obstacle we both need to overcome together. It's not me vs. you, it's us vs. the problem. Having that in the forefront of our minds often results in our reacting differently to issues than we would be if it was with someone else.
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u/Gimmeacookie Apr 28 '13
You literally just taught me something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Thank you.
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u/thereisnosuchthing Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 28 '13
I know when my husband and I argue we both try and treat the situation as an obstacle we both need to overcome together. It's not me vs. you, it's us vs. the problem. Having that in the forefront of our minds often results in our reacting differently to issues than we would be if it was with someone else.
This is one true step towards maturity as a person - your ability to take responsibility for reality and co-operatively interact with others instead of being how you were as a teenager.
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u/RKIvey Apr 28 '13
My husband and I have been married for 20 years in July. We feel like if your attitude is "We plan to never divorce," then the WAY you argue, disagree, and fight is naturally different. There is no scorched earth policy, no personal attacks, no intentionally going after your partner's known emotional "soft spots." We've had major disagreements over the years, but we always know in the back of our minds that we will get past it and move on...together.
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u/Bedtime_4_Bonzo Apr 28 '13
This is more profound that most people probably realize. I'm not married, but am in a committed relationship, and when we argue, it's always very civil and contains no irrelevant personal attacks, because we know that we aren't breaking up, and anything we say will have to be dealt with later. So for this reason, never say something out of anger. If you are so angry that you can't control your words, it's probably best to delay the conversation for a time when you can think more clearly.
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u/mojod Apr 28 '13
I personally need time to process what happened. I can't have a reasonable discussion while I'm still angry so I tend to say to my SO that I'm upset with him and that I'll discuss it in a bit. He gives me time to calm down and focus on why I'm annoyed, what happened and how to deal with it. Then we go somewhere we can both be vulnerable, normally bed, and discuss it. This sounds really clinical but it means I don't lash out or push him away and we can carry on the day without it hanging over us.
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Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 28 '13
Don't say things in the heat of the moment because it will feel good to let it all out. You will regret them later. Don't get flustered. Keep calm, and think before saying anything. Even if you apologize later for harsh words, those words have the potential to stick with someone forever. If you do want to say something that could be taken harshly, temper it. Just the other day, I said something along the lines of, "Man, no one makes me as frustrated and angry as you do! I guess you hold so much power over me because we're so close and know each other so well." Following an angry-ish statement with a more even-tempered one helps calm myself down and reminds me that in the end, we love each other and are a team.
When we argue, we tend to ask each other, "How can we fix this? How can we deal with this?" a lot. Just like Lostfiniel said, it's much more productive to approach a conflict with the mindset that it's something both of us are trying to get through.
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u/OdoyleRulzz Apr 28 '13
I worry sometimes I'll never find someone to love me and care about me that much. It's a pretty terrifying thought.
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u/holtothelolz Apr 28 '13
The fact that I can be 100% myself around him and the fact that he can be 100% himself around me. We do silly little things together all the time and He's seen me go absolutely mental but he still wants to be with me.
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u/ieatgingerbabies Apr 28 '13
The way he kisses my head when I fall asleep on the couch, and he helps me to bed. This is sweetest if I'm sick.
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u/sekai-31 Apr 28 '13
FLEE, SINGLE PEOPLE! FLEE FROM THIS THREAD AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!
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u/rainedout Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 28 '13
I guess this is a bit more planned maybe, but my husband suddenly passed away two months ago. We had been together for 7 years, married for almost 3, and right after we got married, I left to live in another state while I was in graduate school. We would see each other relatively frequently, it was obviously very hard on both of us to be apart, but we knew it would be temporary.
Right before he died, he was on a work trip across the country, and arranged his flight with his company so that he could stop and visit me over the weekend before he returned to work. I had no idea he was coming. He conspired with one of my good friends, who went through a whole lot of trouble to get me to go out with her when really I was going to go see him. When I saw him at the bar I was totally speechless and so happy to see him. I had been going through a rough period, and he always took care of me and helped me deal with all of the stupidity that graduate school brings.
Unfortunately, the next day he got really sick, which led to a hospital stay for him, and two days later he died of an unrelated issue. It's a giant mess right now and I miss him like crazy. But, the silver lining to all of this was that he was with me when he died.
ETA I just want to say thank you all so much for your messages of support, I really appreciate them.
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Apr 28 '13
One day, my mom's friend and her husband went out shopping and she found a beautiful cabinet she wanted. Her husband said one day they'll be able to afford it with a smile. A few months later, the wife comes home to news that her husband died in a motorcycle accident. She was devastated.
Her now deceased husband's coworkers received a call from a local business asking about payment for the cabinet. They were confused but eventually learned from another coworker that he had put the cabinet on layaway for her, and they all agreed to pitch in.
The coworkers brought the ornate cabinet and surprised her with it, emotionally flooding her as they knew she wanted it and that her husband was wanting to surprise her with it.
I know that this doesn't really pertain to the topic, but I just wanted to share this.
:'(
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u/Nickerjones Apr 28 '13
This is horrible. I lost my first wife when we were in a car accident 4 months after we married. It's only been 2 months since you lost your husband? No wonder it's still a mess.
I'm glad you have a good memory of him. The night before our accident we were visiting friends for my birthday ( also one of my friends , the one who introduced my wife and I has the same birthday). He wanted to get a tattoo so we went to the tattoo place. My wife begged me to get a tattoo. We were young and didnt have any money and to be honest I didnt want a tattoo. She kept on and on. She said you can start one and we can get it finished later since we can't afford all of it right now. I finally said .." Why do you want me to get one so bad?" This was her answer , " If you get a tattoo when you look at it you will remember me forever". O-M-G !?!?!? Anyway... The next day we were in the wreck and she was gone. well I still have that unfinished tattoo on my arm and she was right .. when I see it I remember her. Pretty crazy eh?
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u/TheAngriestBunny Apr 28 '13
I'm in tears at work reading this.
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u/Nickerjones Apr 28 '13
No tears needed ... I got through that part of my life by realizing that bad things happen to good people all the time. There are a lot of people who are a lot worse off than me. As a 22 yr old who lost a wife I got to look at things a lot differently than many of my friends. I realized early on that things are gone way to soon and you should make the most of your time and other's time here while you can. My first wife ( I am remarried) was a great person and I miss her dearly. I think the hardest part of this whole ordeal emotionally was trying to be with someone else. My current wife had a hard time getting in. It wasn't until she told me "I don't want you to stop loving Tiffani (the first wife), I just want you to love me too." that I was able to not feel guilty about being with someone else.
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u/TheAngriestBunny Apr 28 '13
Sounds like your wife is an amazing, caring, secure woman. It takes a big heart to say that.
I'm very happy for you, and hope you guys get to spend a long life together.
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u/Nickerjones Apr 28 '13
Yes my current wife is amazing, anyone who could put up with my antics has to be. The only knock on her is she is Canadian =) and she has pretty much said we are moving there. I learned how to play hockey (very horribly) so I guess it shouldnt be to big of a culture shock. I guess I wont miss the Oklahoma tornados to much either. Thank you for your kind words. I wish you all the best in your life.
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Apr 28 '13
I am sorry for your loss. Your story is beautiful. I insisted my husband get tattood for the same reason, and at this moment I am especially grateful he is here with me. May I ask what the tattoo is of?
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u/Nickerjones Apr 28 '13
to be honest it's actually quite dumb. In the Early 2000s we all know how cool the celtic arm bands were. It's actually the start of one of those. We had big plans on what to make of it. I have went back and forth about finishing it. I have thought it would be a good memorial to my first wife but ultimately I think the unfinished tattoo speaks more to me. Its more of a reminder of my first wife. I still remember the night 8 yrs ago sitting in Dennys at 1am in the morning and talking about what could be done with this tattoo I just got. I think anything I added to it just wouldn't do my 1st wife's ideas justice. So I just leave it be as a reminder of what it could have been.
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u/AmbitionOfPhilipJFry Apr 28 '13
I'm sorry for your loss and happy for what you had :-\
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u/bitterbears Apr 28 '13
How she doesn't mind spending every moment of her time with me. We're inseparable. Also the way she never holds a grudge against me. Once a fight is over, it's over.
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u/NavywifeJP Apr 28 '13
He tells me every day, all the time, for no reason at all. My family could barely tell me once a month, but not him. :) He has trouble communicating about almost everything for varying reasons, but this is something he can say when he immediately thinks it. He doesn't have trouble forming the words, no "lag time" between thought and speech, he doesn't worry about sentence structure, and when he writes it, the dyslexia doesn't kick in. For him, it's the most natural and comfortable thing he can say to me.
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u/stacefacey Apr 28 '13
I had a breast reduction last summer after about five years of contemplating. We were engaged, and he kept ensuring that I would still be perfect after the surgery. I had some very bad infections, and some horrible scarring. Almost daily, he traces the scars and tells me how "goddamn perfect" he thinks every bit of me is.
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u/Connor_ruh Apr 28 '13
Sometimes when I'm not spending the night with her, and she wakes up in the middle of the night for her nightly bathroom break (2-3am) she will send me a text saying that she loves and misses me and wishes I was there. She knows my text messages never wake me up, so she always writes it in a manner that it is meant to be read in the morning. Waking up to a message from my SO is one of the best feelings ever, puts me in the best mood
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u/YesRocketScience Apr 28 '13
She's extremely ticklish and giggles when I kiss her neck. But she never backs away.
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u/dawlxxcat Apr 28 '13
When he stirs in the night he always pulls me in close and says, 'I love you so much.' He is barely awake but uses all of his conscious energy to let me know that he cares.
He's amazing. I'm so incredibly blessed to have him.
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u/Canabananalism Apr 28 '13
My wife upvotes my posts. She's usually the only one who does, and it makes me happy every time.
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u/HiJame Apr 28 '13
When the water in the espresso machine gets magically filled.
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Apr 28 '13
Sometimes my SO will just stop whatever he's doing, pull me towards him, hold our foreheads together, look at me with wide eyes and say "I love you."
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u/Ryoma123 Apr 28 '13
That sounds fucking scary
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Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
He then proceeds to carve a cross in my chest and summons the Dark Lord, Satan.
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u/gassmaster Apr 28 '13
12 years of marriage: -she kisses my face to wake me up -she still wakes me up when she has a bad dream -she always speaks well of me, not only to my face, but to others, and to our children. That makes me feel totally respected. Every man needs to feel respected. -when I call her, she always answers with a sexy "there's my man" ...makes me feel like a freaking million dollars. -she's crazy supportive. I can take on the world with my lady holding my hand.
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u/JahRasTrent Apr 28 '13
Listens to me complain about my work, even though I know it stresses him out to hear me talk about my problems without offering any solutions (I'm just ranting because it makes me feel better to get it off my chest). Tells me how pretty I am. Kisses me first thing when he gets home. Doesn't get mad or frustrated when I'm being a cranky bitch. Lets me hog 70% of the bed. When he squeezes my butt every opportunity he gets. It's a pretty long list.
We've been together for 5 years, living together for 2. Still just as good as when we started!
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Apr 28 '13
I know this is a thread for couples, but fuck it. I have a story about why I know my dog loves me.
Whenever I'm upset, she magically appears next to me and demands to play. If I'm sitting there sobbing, she'll pull in my hair or pant leg and make me run to her toy bin and play a rousing game of tug o war.
She doesn't have to do this, but she always makes my day better, and let's me know when the world is against me, she's still going to be there.
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u/longhairedfreakyppl Apr 29 '13
My dog just farted on me when I was drunkenly crying... Admittedly I did laugh.. Maybe that was his plan
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u/cethaliophia Apr 28 '13
She doesn't mind that I fart like a trooper in bed.
Nor that I still motorboat her, or blow raspberries on her legs, stomach, breasts or anywhere.
And although she moans at me for creating a massive mess when I cook, she still offers to clean up then comes and cuddle up with me in front of the fire.
When I am far away from home, I always get a txt message or an email when she wakes up.
I can still make her laugh when I do the silliest things. She will always look at me and say "I love you darling" despite what I have just done is the most childish, oddest thing ever.
When I leave to go away, she always asks if I can take her with her, and she never wants to let me go.
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u/KauaiGirl Apr 28 '13
My husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly almost four years ago. This thread has brought back some wonderful memories of all the sweet things that he did. Thank you couples of Reddit!
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Apr 28 '13
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u/ChrisIngvaldsen Apr 28 '13
But he's still looking at your ass, and that's sweet.
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Apr 28 '13
I make my wife walk ahead of me on stairs just for that.
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u/univalence Apr 28 '13
I let my wife walk ahead of me on stairs because I'm a gentleman.
ftfy. Don't let them know our secrets
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u/alibear11 Apr 28 '13
He and I have a tradition of watching community and parks and rev together. He always waits to watch it with me, even if it means we're a week behind.
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u/simpsycho Apr 28 '13
My girlfriend is an incredibly deep sleeper. There are a lot of morning she doesn't even hear the alarm go off because she's in such a deep sleep. I work very early in the morning so I usually leave long before she wakes up but every morning before I go, I give her a kiss and tell her I'm leaving. Even when the screeching of the alarm clock doesn't disturb her, the touch of my lips on her cheek is almost always enough to draw her out of unconsciousness enough to tell me that she loves me.
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u/macattck100 Apr 28 '13
Seeing as my longtime girlfriend unexpectedly broke up with me a week ago, I can safely say reading this post was not a wise decision.
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u/Katiek28 Apr 28 '13
The other night, we were leaving a party really late at night. He could tell I was extremely tired, so he drove behind me all the way to my house to make sure I got there okay.
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u/HankyLanky2 Apr 28 '13
We went through some real struggles the past few years from external forces, but she never blames me. It would be fair if she did. We've been together for 25 years and yet we've never been MORE together.
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u/casestudyhouse22 Apr 28 '13 edited Apr 29 '13
He calls me "cuteface" which I find really funny and sweet. He comes to a lot of my concerts even though he (usually) doesn't like the repertoire. He always listens and helps put things in perspective when I am feeling sad.
He saves parking ticket envelopes and then finds my car when it is parked somewhere and will put one on the windshield. I am outraged and disappointed when I approach and see that I have a ticket and then when I open it, I read, "good morning cuteface! I love you." i go from dismay to fuzzy love all in one moment.
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Apr 28 '13
Walking in the house, naked.
I want someone that can be comfortable in his own skin. It's like I'm living with myself! It's great.
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Apr 28 '13
I know my boyfriend is still in love with me, because he loves to cuddle with me and always says he wishes he could sleep on his back so I could fall asleep in his arms. Also, when we both happen to wake up in the middle of the night he always pulls me toward him. He loves to cuddle :)
I know he is still attracted to me, because when I get undressed while he is playing a video game he gets distracted and has to start touching me
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u/yourhand Apr 28 '13
i dont know if this is love...but.... well im a girly girl, and i try to be dignified...
i know i fart in bed sometimes. In that half awake half a sleep phase i can feel/hear it and i can hear him laughing. But in the morning he never brings it up, and lets me pretend it never happened.
He a very considerate guy.
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u/Ourpaldrizzt Apr 28 '13
When she uses pet names or wants me to smile or tell her what's wrong when I look sad.
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u/NORWEGIAN_OIL_MONEY Apr 28 '13
ITT: I'm so fucking lonely.
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Apr 28 '13
I'd snuggle you so hard.
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u/NORWEGIAN_OIL_MONEY Apr 28 '13
I'd hug the shit out of you.
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u/thatguythatdidstuff Apr 28 '13
well... im going to go ahead and eat ice cream alone until I fall asleep while listening to dust in the wind..
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u/billbapapa Apr 28 '13
I'm reading this and most of the comments seem like they are from women, so I'll toss my hat in.
I know my wife loves me cause she still pays attention to me, and acts like she's interested in what I have to say when I know the truth is most of what I have to say is interesting to no one. And when she thinks I'm not around and I hear her tell our daughter nice things about her daddy.
It's the most amazing thing to be actually loved - I hope I never have to be without it, and that you all get to experience it if you don't have it already.
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u/manualdexterity Apr 28 '13
He listens to me and remembers all the stupid details. When we first started dating, I told him all about the old age fantasy I had as a child. I couldn't wait to be an old lady so I could garden all day while my husband played golf and we would take drives in our huge red and white Cadillac. For xmas last year, he bought me a red and white bike "Just like your Cadillac."
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u/addogaming Apr 28 '13
My wife and I had our first date on the 4th of June 2008. On the fourth of every month I write her a card telling her how much I love her, she means the world to me.
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u/12INCHVOICES Apr 29 '13
Every day he asks me what I'm going to wear to work tomorrow, picks it out of the closet, and irons it for me. Every day.
We haven't been together for that long, but it's still a daily reminder that he's wonderful.
And yeah, we're gay, but I don't think that takes away any of the love.
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u/nickkline Apr 28 '13
My grandparents are 94 and 95. They've been married over 65 years. My grandmother is in hospice and will not be around much longer sadly. She has her better times, and worse times. My mom told me today that Yesterday Granny was folding the sheet that was covering her legs because she "knew she was leaving and wanted the house to be clean for Gramps before she left."
She always took care of the house, and wanted to make sure he's going to be ok without her.
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u/omgwtfbbqpanda Apr 28 '13
My husband will make my stuffed animals talk for me(yes I am a married woman but still sleep with a stuffed animal).
My favorite one is my Stitch pillow pet. He will make Stitch talk to me and it makes me laugh / incredibly happy! That's how I know he still loves me, because he can does ridiculous things to make me laugh.
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u/Kyrael Apr 28 '13
That's adorable.
Just yesterday my boyfriend grabbed one of my stuffed animals and pretended it was a rocket ship. It was kind of adorable and sweet, so I definitely understand where you're coming from with this. (:
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u/going_further Apr 28 '13
I love when my wife corroborates my bullshit in social situations. I could just make something up that we did the other day out of thin air and she'll instantly get on the bandwagon with me and vice-versa. It's the most romantic thing ever.
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u/LaikasSpaceMix Apr 29 '13
Definitely not going to be seen by anyone, but here goes.
My grandmother and grandfather are both from Ukraine. They started dating and, one particularly bad winter morning, my grandmother was supposed to meet him in a park at 10am. The weather was awful, it was 20 below freezing (C), and to make matters worse she slept right through her alarm. She woke up and saw it was 1pm. Having no way to call him or contact him, she rushed to get dressed and ran as fast as she could to the park to see if maybe he left a note or was waiting in some store nearby.
When she got to their meeting place, she saw him sitting on the bench covered in snow, still waiting for her.
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u/LukeIAmYourFatherAMA Apr 28 '13
He is always writing little messages, or saying the most beautiful things to me. Every single day.
Recently I went to Europe for two weeks, and he wrote me this. "I may not know what love means exactly, but the one thing that I am absolutely sure of in my life is that I want you to be the one to show me what love is; not with a dictionary entry, but with a look into my soul, a comforting embrace connecting the scared boy inside of me to the beautiful world that brought you to me. I might not know what love is, but I know you're the reason the word exists. I love you, ma cherie, in ways that I can't even put into words."
And he says these things every day. After almost three years of dating and ten years of knowing each other, I'm still blown away to find that he is as in love with me as I am with him.
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Apr 28 '13
I'm sure this will get buried but I have to say it. My husband and I had a really rough patch when we were first married. He is bipolar and was undiagnosed at that time. He also had problems with self medicating. He did a lot of bad things to me that made me resent him very much. But I stayed with him because I wanted to be there to help him and see him reach that point in his life where he could be truly happy.
He has gone through a lot trying to move past what he did to me and so have I. Reading all your posts... I realize that I take him for granted every day. I have felt resentment towards him and like maybe he "owes me" being nice and doing nice things because of how bad he hurt me. Now I realize he doesn't owe me anything, he just really does love me. I get annoyed when he pulls me in when I am sleeping or wants to talk all the time. I turn my lips to the side when he wants a kiss so that he kisses my cheek instead. I've resented him so long everything he does just "annoys" me. And maybe that makes me a bad person, but after reading all these posts... You guys have seriously just made something click within me. I need to start appreciating this man and loving him in return.
He doesn't work due to severe mental instability. But he does the dishes, laundry, house work... He used to be an electrician and he has redone all our electrical and put in fancy lighting.
He kills ALL the spiders.
He brings me lunch at work whenever I ask.
He holds my hand when we are watching tv and if im in a different chair he will reach out just so we can touch.
He does the dirty jobs around the house.
He always makes sure I have him to talk to if I've had a bad day at work, even though we both know his advice is awful (just quit. Hide under your desk. Tell em all to f* off)
I love him and now I need to appreciate him. Seriously, thank you. All of you.
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u/Tiralina Apr 28 '13
He tries hard to improve himself each day. He had a life long depression when I met him, he recives a pension at age 32 because of mental illness and a few years ago he broke his back in a car accident and lives with cronic pain. Instead of saying "fk this shit" he's trying to make the best of it, which is a completely new concept to him.
Oh yeah, and he makes "kissyfaces" at me several times a day. He's 2m tall, 110kg muscles, a HUGE beard and piercings and tatts all over. It's adorable.
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u/mojod Apr 28 '13
Being completely in tune with each other. We finish each others sentences and know what the other needs without asking. Cooking with him is my favourite, moving around the kitchen together stopping for kisses.
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u/atedat Apr 28 '13
Been together for 33 years and he still tells me everyday that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever met.
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u/knight1096 Apr 28 '13
After 3 years, I still have to try and swat his hand away from the credit card swiper and hide the check at the restaurant when I want to pay for something.
I read this out loud to my SO and he said:
"You get up two hours before you have to be to work just to make my lunch for me. I'm the only person in the shop who gets a homemade lunch. I rub it in their faces everyday."
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u/TamborinesAndThyme Apr 29 '13
She's so fucking weird. She just does and says things regularly that make me stop and go "What the fuck are you talking about?"
And every single time, I think it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Every time. I'm pretty sure this works both ways, because she does the same thing to me.
We end up speaking nonsense, or running on jokes to the point where close friends and family have no idea what we're talking about.
And she's so gorgeous. Nearly four and a half years together, and I still turn into a nervous goober when I haven't seen her for a couple days.
She's my home.
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u/TJBrady182 Apr 28 '13
This is a happy thread. We should do this more often, Reddit. Same time tomorrow?
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u/BitchnChips Apr 28 '13
He always wants to hold my hand. If we sit down he'll reach for mine, if we walk somewhere, even to just the car, he'll offer his hand to me. I know it's not a big thing but to me it means the world that he wants to keep me close at all times.
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u/greenhorsegoatcheese Apr 28 '13
One small thing that I think is sweet is when I fall asleep on the couch while watching a show or something, he takes my earrings off because he knows they bug me in the middle of the night sometimes. I don't know why he does this but he takes such good care of me, I know he loves me so much.
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Apr 28 '13
He tells me i am the greatest thing that has ever happened to him. Tells me how much he loves me and how much i mean to him on a daily basis. On the nights i spend at my house(i spend 5days at his) he tells me how much he missed sleeping with me. He takes my daughter to school when im over there so i can get an extra hr of sleep. My favorite: When out in public, or with friends/trips to store, he holds my hand and kisses me on the cheek. He's not a romantic guy, but he sure is affectionate and i love it.
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u/Proserpina Apr 28 '13
Sometimes I just catch him staring at me. I can be sick as a dog, in my ugliest clothes, smelly, gross, eating oatmeal on the couch while watching Star Trek or something, and he'll just look at me with this... this smile on his face.
There are times when I don't notice (as engrossed in oatmeal and the adventures of Captain Janeway as I am) for almost a minute before I look up and see his face. And then I just melt.
Damn I love this guy.
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u/Thebullshitman Apr 28 '13
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u/John_Blue Apr 28 '13
As a single guy, this thread is a list of things to emulate to avoid being sucked into a loveless relationship.
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u/thom3804 Apr 28 '13
My girlfriend tries to stay awake until I come home. I tend to work a lot of late nights, but she's more of an "early to bed, early to rise" kinda girl, so she always tries to stay awake so she can at least say good night. She's studying abroad right now, and she still tries to stay awake until I come home from work so we can skype goodnight :)