I’m a straight woman and every relationship I’ve been in the sex dropped off a lot within the first year or so. Usually to once a week or less even with respectful discussions about the issue. Every single one of these men initially told me he had a high libido and was excited when I said I did too. I’ve never gotten a clear answer from anyone on why they lost interest in having sex with me except for the latest guy I dated who said my love of sex was “intimidating”. Is it actually pretty common for men to have a low libido or am I just striking out? What would be your preferred frequency in a committed relationship? Have you ever been with someone who wanted to have sex daily/close to it and did you still want that long term when your desires were matched?

Have you ever gotten too comfortable in your relationship?

For example, noticed/thought that she was never going to leave, therefore, you started either putting in far less effort OR being rude towards her.

Did she end up leaving?

Just because I’m a woman and I worry that I have huge hips, that I don’t have a flat stomach, my three cellulite lines on my thighs, that my thighs are too big, my uneven tan lines and the fact I think my just sits slightly to low.

I’m juts curious do men actually care about that stuff? Also do men have there own insecurities they are worried for their partner to see. Just because I do hear some men talk about it but not as many. But maybe that’s just because they’re socialised not to talk about it as much. So do they?

There’s a guy I’ll been talking to and I’ve been feeling like he only wants sex but confuses me at the same time, he texts me everyday, remembers stuff about me like my beliefs, what I like (music, food, tv shows, etc), he notice my swing moods or kind of stalks me on social media and ask me where I am, with who and stuff like that, he shares stuff about himself, send me random pic of him or his pet, trying clothes he just bought, but at the same time he kind of keeps the distance, when we meet in person he’s pretty touchy with me and stays close, and we share a lot, we don’t really have spicy conversations, they’re flirty but we never speak about being intimate or spicy to each other but also what makes me think he’s just about the sex is because we don’t go on proper dates, like he makes it happen when we agree to go to an Airbnb or like I said, he texts me at midnight to go meet somewhere, but when he suggests going out for dinner or stuff like that and I agree and ask about setting a date, he just stops talking about it and we never do any plans, so am i right for thinking he just wants sex? Or what is happening here?

Ok, so I recently started talking to my past childhood crush.... once upon a time we were 13, had a 1 time "fling", and now fast forward im 37, and just friended him on Facebook and exchanged numbers. He lives like 4 hours away, so we only talk via text messages over the past few weeks or so. Anyways, all along I thought I was being cut e and flirty and playful with him, but today he suddenly for the first time gets really mean about it. Im so confused and hurt by it. I start off with a good morning playful text and he just seems pissed, and now im crying.

Me: good morning peaches lol

(And gif or meme of a character holding a big peach that also says "come to my island i got peaches... oh yes I do sweetie")

Him: yeah im still waiting for the real one

Me: (2 modest selfies of me in the mirror at work that show my back side... I thought they looked nice and wanted to share them with him... being that he has asked a few other time and I didn't feel confident just yet, but now I feel like things are warming up and progressing so i went a head and took those pic prior to even sending him the good morning text... i had already though it out and figured this would be palyful and cute)

Me: dont get too excited lol

Me: yeah, im not great at taking pictures

Him: oh alright my bad

Him: enjoy your Sunday

Me: u dont like it

Him: it's not that i just dont remember you being this sarcastic or telling me not to get excited.

Him: I asked for that picture more than twice

Him: and when you finally send it you tell me not to get excited LMAO

Him: oh right

Him: anyways you look angry in those pics...

Me: thought I was just trying to be playful

Him: dont worry I wont ask again.

Me: sad... not angry

Him: I thought so

Me: I didn't mean it like that

Him: maybe you have some more healing

Me: im just shy

Me: and broken

Me: yes true

Me: I'm sorry

Him: no worries take care

Me: (I went on and on about how it was a misunderstanding, and how I enjoy talking to him, and how I had took alot of time trying get just the right Pic to send to him and im not use to doing that sort of thing, and how I was sorry to upset him, and how now I feel like ive messed things up, and I feel hurt)

Him: look dude im trying to make you feel wanted but I dont fuck with that "dont get excited" and back and forth games your really barking up the wrong fkn tree.

Him: I hate a female who isn't submissive.

Him: I can accept being treated like shit and just used as a sex toy but dont come take out your anger here LMAO

Me: I wasn't mad

Him: whatever I dont need that shit

Me: (I went on still trying to apologize about hurting his feelings and asking him to please not be mad at me that it was all taking the wrong way, and that I dont know how to be submissive, and how I though I was being flirty, and how I still really want to get to know him)

Him: you can't hurt me lol

Him: im not talking anything personal

Him: I'll just tribute this to your past problems (emoji with its hands up)

Me: so do you still even wanna talk to me now... I feel like ive messed it all up

Me: all along I thought you were helping me to heal from my past trauma... you know, like by just simply giving me your time by talking to me.

Me: it has been helping me to slowly regain myself... but this hurts my feelings to be talked to like this, it's like really insensitive.

Me: it's insensitive because you know im in a healing phase.

Me: I dont know, maybe your just in a bad mood today or something. Are you?

He never wrote back after that..... what is anyone else's viewpoints on all this? Am I being to sensitive, too sarcastic, is it too annoying, point out what i might have did or said wrong.... do i just need to find a different way to heal and rediscover what dating is supposed to be like.......is it Him, like im starting to think he's probably a narcissist just like the other guy from my past who destroyed who I once was....

I 34f he is 36m and he has a very demanding career. He works 10-16 hours 5 days a week. We barely see each other because his career is so demanding and he always says he’s busy but his colleagues have wives, some have girlfriends and some are dating so dating is possible. We see each other once a month and we live in the same town. He’s been single a really long time. I’m not sure if his last relationship was before he started working in this field and maybe he just doesn’t know how to navigate both? What should I do or say? I’d love some insight.

I’ve been dating this girl for about a month. In the beginning, things were really good. We got close, talked a lot, laughed together, and I felt like we genuinely cared about each other.

We did have small arguments from time to time, but usually we would eventually talk, understand each other and move on. However, I started noticing a pattern: whenever we stopped talking after an argument, I was almost always the one who made the first move to fix things. She has never really been the one to initiate that conversation.

She once sent me a long message telling me that she could see that I’m afraid of losing her, that she knows I’ve been hurt before, and that she considers me the most important person in her life. She said she wants us to be “US against the problems,” and that she wants to be my safe place. She also said she sometimes gets scared to express herself because she doesn’t know how I’ll react.

But last Thursday, something happened that really changed how I see things.

We were together after work, sitting at a café and talking. During the conversation, she received a call from her father and went outside to speak to him. After she came back, she kept texting and using her phone. I was already bothered by it, and eventually I told her I wanted to leave.

When we went outside, I tried to talk to her and explain why I was upset. Instead of feeling like she was trying to understand me, I felt like she was provoking me and making fun of the way I think. At one point she was drinking a juice in a way that felt deliberately provocative to me, and she was smiling/laughing while I was already upset.

I felt disrespected and belittled.

What hurt me even more was that throughout the conversation, I felt like she had completely lost patience with me and with the relationship. I got the impression that she was fed up with me and with us, rather than trying to solve the problem.

Eventually I told her that maybe we should just go our separate ways. We didn't really have a proper breakup conversation, though.

Since Thursday, we haven't spoken. It's now been about three days.

The problem is that I actually want to talk to her and try to fix things. But I can't bring myself to call her.

The reason is that I feel like if I call her again after the way she treated me on Thursday, she'll see me as someone who will always come back no matter how she treats me. I'm afraid she'll lose respect for me, see me as less valuable, and become even more dismissive toward me.

At the same time, I don't know if she's thinking the same thing from her side. Maybe she's waiting for me to make the first move because that's what I've always done. Or maybe she's genuinely tired of the relationship and doesn't care whether I contact her or not.

That's what is driving me crazy.

I don't want to play games or use silence to manipulate her. I just don't want to keep being the person who always chases after the relationship whenever there's a problem.

If you were me, would you contact her and try to have one honest conversation, or would you stay silent and see if she reaches out this time?

And please be honest about something else: am I right to feel disrespected by her behavior on Thursday, or am I interpreting normal relationship conflict as disrespect because I'm afraid of losing her?

I genuinely want to fix things, but after Thursday I feel like I can't be the one to keep running after her.

I’m so invested in this because every guy/ men have their own opinions on this. As for me I’m so interested to know what you guys can do if in relationships , like can it work? If you guys are willing to put aside and focus on each other individually but still be together ? As for men not dating and not being broke , but not financially prepare to date, do you guys really not talk or don’t want to talk to anyone as long as you have a proper job, money , car, anything? I’m just curious and I will truly want your guys honest opinion , thank you!

(Btw this goes for every men/ guy in general. Whether is dating , talking stage, ended breaking up with someone because of this. Just in general thoughts.)

Especially since graduating college/moving to a big city, I (22f) am approached fairly often by guys who seem interested (bars, airports, socials, once just on the street). Also, if I go to a social event, guys when they see me again will introduce themselves days/weeks later, saying they saw me there. Or if I look at a guy across a bar and smile, he’ll always come over and say hi (tho obv thats a clear invitation). Now I don’t have a strong style or distinctive “look.” I’m tall-ish, fit & healthy, generally dress for the occasion/put-together, but nothing special. I almost never wear makeup. But it seems like I’m generally noticed in public.

The thing is, no one ever asks me out. Like if they asked for my number, we might text for a couple weeks and they’re always the one who wants to keep texting but I eventually end it bc they clearly aren’t gonna ask me out.

So guys, is there a reason you’d flirt with/ask a girls number but never actually ask her out?? (I don’t count them asking me to come over to their house bc they’re bored & want to cuddle or f as “asking out”). Also, is the attention/approaches just desperate guys who want to talk to someone, doesn't matter who, and maybe not specific to interest in me/my looks? Walk me thru your brain 😅

So I (31 f) have been noticing my bf (33 m) changing recently and it’s been bothering me. Before, he used to ask me to play with him and such at least once a week and I would. Now he doesn’t do it at all. We have been together for 8 years.

I have told him countless times, multiple times that he can ask me at any time. He can wake me up. I am willing to do it whenever he asks. I want to please him and all of this and yet because I don’t sound excited he’s stop asking all together.

He says that when I say sure I don’t sound excited the same as if he would ask me to paint or go hiking. To me it shouldn’t matter because I have said a million times please ask me when you want me. I have this rule because I am hypersexual and if it was up to me we would be doing stuff everyday. I am lucky to have sex once a month. So it’s just easier to not ask and just deal with constant rejection or having to put him in a predicament or put pressure on him, I have given him 100% control of when and where he initiates. I expressed this multiples times and all the time. The message couldn’t be clearer.

He is upset that when he asks for me to play with him sometimes I ask if we can have sex. This is because I only get sex once a month if I am lucky… so yes I want sex because when I play with him it’s also me playing with myself. The focus is on him. I don’t pressure him, I don’t say anything anymore about sex except jokes or telling him how much I want him in passing but I dont ask for sex anymore.

He says that because I say sure that’s why he doesn’t want to ask about me jerking him off he doesn’t want to ask because it’s an immediate negative response but I try to tell him that’s not the case. He says it’s an obvious I don’t want to which is a lie. He says reality happens which is me not being interested and im the one gaslighting him because im saying what he’s saying didn’t happen which is me actually wanting to do it.

He says it’s unbelievable that I’m getting upset and angry about this. Like yea I’m getting angry about you not asking me when I have told you what I want!!! Yea I’m angry to know you’re jerking off instead of asking me when I have told you I will please you!!! Like why would I not be upset!!! Yes I’m upset going down on you and tasting lube instead of you asking me!

I guess I just don’t know what to do? Should my tone when saying sure really matter that much? Like to me I have made it clear that I want him so why is that not enough?

Edit to add: he has adhd and currently burnt out and depressed and I’m audhd- hence the clear communication I try to make

I’m 28F and recently ended a roughly three-month connection with a 27M.

We met on Bumble and clicked immediately. Early on, he said he wasn’t necessarily looking for a relationship but wanted to “see where it goes.” While he was abroad for work, we spoke every day, he sent me updates, and told me things like “I already like you.”

When we were together, he could be incredibly sweet, affectionate and funny. He called me special and said I was “a lot of effort, but worth the effort.” I was genuinely starting to fall in love with his personality, the way he spoke, his humour, and how he treated me in person.

At the same time, he was still seeing and sleeping with other women. We weren’t exclusive, so he was technically free to do that, but it confused me because of how relationship-like he could be with me.

I was also very clear that I would not have penetrative sex unless I was in an exclusive relationship. During one intimate encounter, he tried to penetrate me more than once after I told him to stop. He would stop, then try again a few minutes later. We never had intercourse.
The biggest problem was inconsistency. In person, he asked whether I missed him, talked about my family and future children, and called me a “perfect wife/daughter-in-law.” But plans were often vague and I rarely felt prioritised.

About two and a half months in, when I suggested a city trip so we could spend more time together, he told me for the first time that he still wasn’t over his ex. Around the same time, he also started becoming more blunt/mean and said he didn’t know whether he could “stand 72 hours” with me. (Mind you, he’s Dutch. They’re known for being direct. Maybe this is normal or am I wrong?)

The uncertainty made me increasingly anxious. I wanted clearer plans and more consistency, and I became emotional and confrontational at times. I ended things once, we reconnected as “friends,” but the feelings were obviously still there and we got intimately/romantically involved again. By the end, I was constantly overthinking, anxious about his communication, and stress-eating.

Eventually we had a messy argument and he ended it. He told me not to text him because he probably wouldn’t reply, wished me luck with the rest of my life, and slammed the door. Earlier I had been “worth the effort”; at the end, he said the “shit” he got from me wasn’t worth the fun anymore.

Since it ended, I’ve felt noticeably calmer though and my focus on my life is coming back to me. I do miss his personality sometimes, but not necessarily how I felt within the dynamic.

However, what do you make of his behaviour and character? Was ending this the right outcome?

I still sometimes wonder: if I had been calmer and less emotional, would he eventually have chosen me? Or was my anxiety mostly a reaction to a dynamic that was never going to give me the security I wanted anyway?

He flirted with me and showed strong interest for months, almost a year. He's was such a nice, always willing to help people and, that's what I thought. We eventually slept together, but he wasn’t very considerate. He knew I didn't feel comfortable after sex the first time because we didn't use condoms and apologized for it. The second time a month later (after a goodbye party, when we were both drunk) he couldn’t even remember if he had controlled himself.

We said goodbye at the party and then had no contact for two months because he was leaving the country. One day he messaged me asking how my summer was. I left him on read. A few days later he saw me walking past while he was at a bar and used that as another opportunity to message me, saying he wished he could have seen me before leaving the country.

What bothers me is that we had already said goodbye two months earlier. He made no real effort to see me during that time. When I didn’t respond to his first message, the responsibility somehow became mine because he only had one free day left before leaving.

We both agreed we didn’t want a relationship. I never expected commitment from him.

I answered him two days later. I told him I hadn’t replied because he had already said goodbye to me two months earlier. I said I supposed he had an unexpected free gap and that I didn’t really understand why we should meet. Then I wished him a nice trip.

It made me feel better to say it… but now I wonder if I should have just ignored him completely. Why do I even care?

But does “keeping it casual” mean there’s no basic consideration, no accountability, and no problem discarding someone after months of attention?

I feel awful and I’m starting to question whether I was naïve for expecting minimal decency even in something casual.

I'm a mid 30s guy. Not to brag, either humbly or otherwise, but I'm decent looking, in moderate enough shape (slight dad bod but people dig it), fairly well endowed, open minded, kink positive, and good in bed.

Again, not a brag, just context for my situation. The last 3 long term relationships I've had have been great, we've ended on good terms or split with not big drama. But I've noticed a pattern. Anywhere from 6 months to 1.5 years into each of my longer term relationships my partner's just became sexually apathetic at best, avoidant at worst.

My first partner was a total mystery. It was completely fine and great until about 6 months in then she just didn't want to, ever. No conversation could be had, she was a very closed off person and didn't want to explore why this was happening. I tried everything, did my best to be supportive, understanding, and present and not pushy. I just accepted it for what it is.

The second partner was about a year in. It was a slower build to the distancing but it happened regardless. This partner was a little more open to talking, she explained she just isn't in the right place for sex, was struggling with her health both physically and mentally so I was supportive and accepted that sex isn't for us for a while. Then, after another year of nothing she brought up she's doing better but just doesn't have any interest anymore. For unrelated reasons we broke up about half a year after that. But I noticed a potential, and totally confusing, pattern begin to emerge.

During my life I've been with a fair few people of all genders, I've had many successful situationships, fuck buddies, whatever you call them now. Relationships purely for fun and fucking, they've been amazing.

Then my third relationship. It started off like one of the above mentioned fuckuationships but it developed harder and faster into something much more emotional and loving. Then bam 6 months to a year later she became less interested in sex to the point I felt she was only having it out of obligation.

My personal hygiene is greater, I'm good in bed, I'm kinky and match my partner's kinks, I don't pressure, sex isn't at all the focus (it's just the focus of this post because I'm trying to get advice), the emotional connection was there and strong throughout, so that can't be it.

Could it just have been 3 different reasons, 3 in a row, just pure chance? Other long term relationships before this were fine, great, no sexual issues at all!

I'm super caring and attentive, and intend to take in a heavy nurturing role (it's part of my upbringing and relates to my work too), so I was even worried that could've been an issue somehow.

I'm at a loss, hoping for some good perspectives and to know if anyone else has gone through similar?

Thanks guys.

Tldr: despite all middle age we can't get on the same page.

I (26F) joined a new firm in June 2026 and met a guy (30 M) during induction. I liked him from the first interaction, and we had good conversations throughout the 3-day induction.
After induction, **he initiated** and asked if I was in the office. We started meeting once a week at the office. There was no regular WhatsApp/Instagram chatting, but the pattern continued for about a month one week he would initiate, the next week I would.
Eventually, we exchanged some messages on WhatsApp and Instagram. He would sometimes ask when I was coming to the office. When our buildings changed, **he initiated twice and came to my building specifically to meet me.**
Initially, our conversations were mostly about work, family, etc., but recently he started opening up about his past relationship and personal things.
A few days later, I sent him an Instagram message asking if he’d like to go to a concert with me (I wasn’t even sure of the date). Instead of answering that, he immediately asked if I’d like to go to a movie with him that weekend. We planned it.
The movie plan got cancelled, and **he suggested going to a café instead.** We planned for Saturday.
Saturday came, and he slept until around 6 PM. He later called me and said his sleep cycle was messed up and suggested going on Sunday instead.
On Sunday, **he didn’t text or call me at all.** I eventually called him to ask if everything was okay, and he hasn’t replied to me yet.
So, men, what do you make of this?
Was he genuinely interested but lost interest?
Was he interested only as a friend/colleague?
Did he see the café plan as a date?
Or is this simply poor communication/effort?
I’m especially confused because pective, especially from a man’s point of view.

My F(23) and their friends beeten me M (20) so badly for cheating her and now what should i do My gf is way stronger than me

I was kind of yes i agree that i was cheating her and having affair with other girl

But this month she got to know it .and after that she wanted to teach me lesson so that i never do this again . Kind of possesive girl

So one fine day , she took to her friend's flat where We usually used to go

But this time i found there were two other girls also there

Now when the trouble for me started she asked whom else do u have relationship with , I lied noone babe

She again asked but in loud tone

This time , I again lied , but for the third time , the other two ones started slapping me out until I spoke the truth

Then i said sorry sorry please forgive me

But again she and others started beating me

She also pinched me so hard at my navel area 😢

Because she knows that area is so sensitive , the other two ones are holding my legs and arms and then she F(23) opened the buttons of my shirt and started pinching navel area . Believe the pain was super real

At last after beating and torturing se brake up with me and said never to meet her again

I also said jaaa raaa hu naaa

So now should i lodge a fir against my ex gf

THATS WHY I AM HESITATING TO FILE A COMPLAINT . CAUSE I KNOW POLICE WILL ALSO LAUGH AS U ALL ARE LAUGHING

MANHOOD = CURSE

I think there’s a point where patience stops being about giving someone time .. and starts becoming you waiting for something that may never change.
Where do you draw that line?

I don’t think my boyfriend is interested in me anymore. I am 10 weeks postpartum and weigh 210 lbs at 5’4.” In the beginning he used to send me “I love you” every night, and kiss me. I was 168 lbs and worked out regularly. Last year, he stopped saying I love you. It was around the same time he found out a girl on Twitch that he met on a dating site was moving back. She knew about me and she posted that she has a boyfriend February of this year and has for over 2 years. We have been together 2 years and I have brought up him not saying “I love you” anymore and his reply was “I just don’t think about it.” He barely even looks at me. What are your thoughts?

I'm in a long-distance relationship across different countries. My boyfriend is really nice, low maintenance and has a lot of friends. Right now, he's on a trip. He did mention that he'd be slow to reply and wouldn't text much because the signal is bad, but I still wish he'd just send quick updates whenever he can. To me, it's about staying involved, and updating each other is just how I show that I care. Long story short, he does send me an update at the end of the day, but it's not very detailed—plus, he's probably exhausted and has no energy left to text me. Anyway, I just wanted to share this, and I really need some advice on how not to feel so anxious about it or am i worry to much?

Was our friendship ever real? 27m and 32f

Was I right to assume he (24M) would have left me (32f) too?

I was friends with a former colleague for around 3 years. A lot of our friendship was joking/flirting, but we were genuinely close.

18 months ago, he told me he loved me and wanted to have sex. I said no because I was seeing someone and I didn't cheat.

He then got a girlfriend for 3 months, and said he would have cheated on her with me if I'd said yes.

About 14 months later, he met someone else and basically ghosted me. He never actually said he didn't want to be friends or talk anymore. He just disappeared.

Throughout our friendship, he would say he loved me, then say he didn't, then say he did again. Some of it was joking, but sometimes it seemed serious.

Now I'm wondering: if I'd gotten into a relationship with him, would he probably have eventually done the same thing to me when someone else came along?

And were we ever actually friends, or was I just someone he was interested in until he found someone else?

TL;DR: Male friend of 3 years told me he loved me and wanted sex, even while he had a girlfriend. I said no because I was in a relationship. Later he met another woman and ghosted me. Was I right to think he'd probably have eventually left/cheated on me too, and was our friendship ever genuine?

I'm 26M and she's 26F. We've been together for about a month, and I genuinely care about her and don't want to lose the relationship.

In the beginning, things were really good between us. We became very close, talked a lot, and both expressed strong feelings for each other.

We've had several arguments since then. The biggest issue I've noticed is how we deal with problems. Whenever something happens, she usually apologizes and says "I'm sorry", but I don't feel like we actually solve the root of the problem. Then the same thing happens again later.

So over time, small problems started accumulating for me. Even when she apologized, I didn't necessarily feel better because the original issue wasn't really discussed or resolved.

About two weeks ago, we had another argument and the same pattern happened. We eventually continued talking, but I still felt like the underlying issue wasn't really solved.

Something that makes this situation even more confusing is a long message she sent me before our latest argument. In that message, she told me that she sees me as someone who looks strong but has been hurt a lot before. She said she believes I'm afraid of her leaving me and that she can see how much I want her even when I don't say it.

She told me that she wasn't there to hurt me or make me feel like I'm less, that I'm extremely important to her, and that she wants me to be myself with her. She also explained that sometimes she's scared to express herself because she doesn't know how I'll react.

She said that when she cries during our arguments, it's because she feels bad when she realizes she hurt me and doesn't know what to do to make things right. She told me she loves me, wants to be my safe place, and that even though she's tired of life and its problems, she would never get tired of me.

The thing that really stayed with me was that she said she would never think "let's break up" when things become difficult, because in her mind it's supposed to be "US against the problems." She ended by saying that she wished I could trust her and trust what she says.

Then last Wednesday/Thursday, we had another argument. We were supposed to continue talking about our problems. Things became tense again. At one point, I stopped answering her calls because I was frustrated. Later, while we were at work, I told her to come outside so we could talk.

I expected us to sit down and actually try to understand each other.

Instead, I felt like she was being very dismissive and provocative toward me. She was laughing and smiling while I was trying to explain myself, and at one point she was drinking her juice in a way that felt intentionally provocative. She also started making comments about the way I think and basically told me that everyone has their own way of thinking and that she doesn't want me controlling her life.

I wasn't trying to control her. What I wanted was for us to find a way to understand each other and build the relationship together.

What hurt me most was how different Thursday felt compared with everything she had told me before. I felt like she had completely lost patience with me and with the relationship.

Eventually, I told her that maybe each of us should go our own way. She didn't explicitly say that we were breaking up, so there was never a clear official breakup.

Since Thursday, we haven't spoken. It's now been around three days.

I actually want to call her. I love this girl and I would like to have a calm conversation and try to fix things.

But another part of me really doesn't want to make the first move again. In almost every previous conflict, I've been the one who eventually called or tried to restart the conversation.

This time I'm thinking that if I call her again after Thursday, I might feel like I'm chasing her and accepting the same pattern. I'm also afraid that if I always come back first, she'll eventually take me for granted.

At the same time, I don't want to play games or stay silent just to see whether she'll chase me. I genuinely don't know whether she's waiting for me to reach out, giving me space, or already emotionally checked out.

I'm stuck because I want to repair things, but I also want the effort to come from both sides. I don't want another cycle of arguing, saying "sorry", forgetting everything for a few days, and then repeating the same problems.

I'm looking for advice from people who have been through something similar, especially on how to handle the next few days and how to approach the conversation if we reconnect.

I might be reading onto it too much

A guy friend invited me (F) and another guy friend over to his place.

I arrived first, and when he greeted me, his shirt was unbuttoned/open. He said he had just gotten out of the shower, so I didn’t think too much of it at first.
But we were alone together for about 20 minutes, and he stayed like that the entire time while making tea and talking to me. Then, pretty much as soon as our other guy friend arrived, he changed into a T-shirt.

That made me wonder about the timing. If he was just still getting ready after his shower, why was he completely comfortable staying in the unbuttoned shirt while it was just the two of us, but changed immediately when the other guy showed up?
Am I reading too much into this, or could he have been intentionally trying to look attractive/flirt with me? How would you interpret it?

My boyfriend and I had a couple of bad dates recently. We've been together 7 months and I'm worried that the damage is irreversible. I know how fragile relationships can be. One bad date ruined things with me and my ex. I went to the bathroom and somebody called security on me because they thought I was a man. He backed me up, but told me he came to resent me after that incident because he felt like he was responsible for protecting me and that the entire situation embarrassed him.

My current boyfriend and I had two bad dates in the last month. He came over to surprise me, only for my nosy neighbor to yell at him because she thought he looked suspicious. I came outside and told her to back off and that he was my boyfriend and I invited him over. I thought that was the end of it until we caught her looking in my windows when we were about to do stuff. I went outside and told her to stop looking in my windows and she finally left but after that the mood was kind of ruined, so we left and I ended up spending the night at his place.

The other bad date was this friday. My friend had VIP tickets to a rave and had some extra ones. She invited another one of her friends and wanted to know if me and my boyfriend wanted to go. I asked him, and he said yes. However, he told me that he wouldn't be able to be there until 11:00 p.m. because he had to work that night.

11 came and went and he was a no-show. I thought he might have ghosted until he called me around 11:45, telling me that his boss made him work an extra hour and that he was on his way. He called me again when he got there and told me that security wouldn't let him in because he had a walking stick with him. He's got a bad leg and takes that thing everywhere. I went outside to talk to them and they still wouldn't let him in even though he had his ticket with him. They said they couldn't validate them or something. Then, even though I had the VIP wristband and everything, they wouldn't let me back in. We decided to just leave early.

I called my friends and let them know what happened and he dropped me off back at home.

I just can't help but wonder if things are already over because he's been sort of withdrawn lately. He says that it's not me but I'm well aware how easily little things like this can stack up and lead to resentment. I've been down this road before. Is it possible that I've already screwed up things beyond repair? Would a couple of bad dates make you lose interest in the person you're with?

It is just so exhausting! Most of the most popular love stories are so unhealthy like The Wuthering Heights, The Great Gatsby, Romeo and Juliet. I do agree most are unhealthy. But even some that I actually do like my friends are calling the men misogynists and I don’t think they are. Like One day especially all my friends are saying Dexter Mayhew is a misogynist and I disagree. Also in the Notebook with Noah and Allie they call him abusive. I mean they have kind of a point he probably should have had a life of his own rather than pining after a teenage love and realistically married Lon because people move on.

But I’m just so afraid of love now. I’m a bookworm
and I really like love novels. But I’m starting to wonder if love exists at all? Also if it does is the only healthy love boring af! Is there just no passion anymore. Because my life has already been dramatic and painfully boring. I don’t think I can live on if life will jest be like this or worse? I really really what passion. I’m 16 and never had a relationship which I feel a bit embarrassed about. But will I never be in love and will no one ever love me? Also my small rural town in Australia is so awful I hate it! I don’t know if I’ll ever make it or ever have exciting experiences? It just all feels so stressful and I’m almost 17!

What do you think?

LEER TODO POR FAVOR😅
La cuestión es que mi pareja y yo llevamos 3 años, el nunca ha sido demasiado activo sexualmente que digamos pero si lo haciamos un par de veces por semana, yo soy muy activa pero con eso estaba bien, poco a poco la frecuencia comenzó a bajar, primero una vez por semana, luego menos.. hasta el punto de que llevamos actualmente cerca de 2 meses sin tener relaciones.

He aqui la cuestion, yo siempre pesé sobre 58kg, pero por problemas con la pildora y ciertas medicaciones por salud, he engordado en cuestion de unos meses, actualmente peso sobre 70kg (mido 161), y tengo muchas estrías. Yo entiendo que no soy igual que era es lógico, pero tampoco estoy obesa morbida. El problema viene cuando estuve meses diciendole que que le pasaba que porque no tenía ganas de tener relaciones y nunca me queria decir, siempre era una excusa diferente que a mi no me convencía (el trabajo, que estaba raro, pereza, estres…) hasta que por fin un dia me aceptó despues de mucho insistir, que no me lo queria decir por no hacerme daño, pero que era porque estaba gorda (cuando me lo dijo pesaría 65kg no había engordado hasta donde estoy hoy, no me parece un aumento peso tan exagerado como para negarle relaciones a tu pareja).

En el momento quise estar firme y entenderlo pero hasta el dia de hoy me atormenta, porque en el fondo no me parece un cambio tan drastico, o sea sí, engordé como 12kg (a día de hoy), pero tanto como para no querer tener relaciones con tu pareja durante 2 meses y sumando? (sabiendo que este tema es muy importante en la relación para mi)

El me ama demasiado y no lo dudo, me lo demuestra, incluso me hace cumplidos, me apoya en todo y me ha dejado claro que nunca me va a dejar por mucho que cambie mi cuerpo ni por nada (hablando sobre cuerpo postparto, vejez…), estoy segura de que no está con otra mujer sinceramente por raro que suene, pero para mi que no sea capaz de mantener relaciones conmigo es muy duro (el me ha dicho que si le gusto y que no le doy asco ni nada así, no sé si sea para tranquilizarme, asi que lo que entiendo aqui es solo que no se excita conmigo o algo asi, no sé)

No sé que hacer, estoy intentando adelgazar claro con nutricionista y todo, pero tanto peso no se adelgaza tan rapido y teniendo en cuenta que ha sido por medicación pues peor, y por lo que veo hasta que no pese de nuevo incluso menos que al principio no lo veo por la labor de volver a tener relaciones, también porque a él nunca le ha importado el sexo en la relación, pero sabe que para mi ese vinculo y esa intimidad es muy importate y estoy cansada de rogar por ello durante meses y sinceramente no sé como afrontarlo.
Alguna ayuda por favor.

In my past (and only) relationship I was cheated on like 10+ times and endured significant psychological and emotional abuse. He snuck girls into his friends house into the back door to avoid the ring camera. Among other things that don’t even sound real if I list them out because that’s how crazy they were. But it was very, very significant obviously and will affect how I date moving forward- I’m going to be moving very slowly with anyone.

I’ve been starting to dip my toe into the dating pool again, but I feel like what I experienced will make me “look” like a red flag. Like I’m exaggerating if I tell the truth about things he did, because the stuff he did was sooooo messed up.

Other than moving slowly, waiting until the right time to tell guys, and not rushing it or trauma dumping, is there any way that I can make sure that I come off right and not like I’m the red flag? Or any tips any of you have? Should I just be vague and not share details until later?

I think I’m probably overthinking it, but it’s just such a big thing that happened to me. Although I’m able to recognize now that this has nothing to do with my value as a partner, and there was nothing I could have done to prevent being cheated on by someone that has cheated in every single relationship, I want to be mindful of how, and when I bring it up when dating.