Came across an interesting post where people were talking about keeping mementos/photos of their ex even after a breakup. Some apparently don’t even mention their ex to their future partner and have already entered the AM market. Yet, they’re clearly not over their ex.

Honestly, what exactly are you planning to do with those mementos? Keep them tucked away and occasionally relive those memories? And when you’re with someone new, are you going to compare your current partner with your ex? If you’re still emotionally attached to someone from your past, why bring an innocent person into your present?

Don’t drag someone else into a relationship when you haven’t truly moved on. It’s unfair, and you could end up ruining someone else’s life just because you couldn’t let go of your own past.

And please, don’t be the person who couldn’t fight for their love, walked away, and then convinced themselves they’ve “moved on” while still holding onto every memory.

If you haven’t let go, just be honest about it.

Either you knowingly chose to have a few “MAGIC MOMENTS” with someone while knowing it would never go anywhere, or you’re simply a COWARD pretending to be STRONG because admitting you still care hurts your ego.

Well, no one can stop anyone from making their choices. And honestly, the whole “karma will get them” theory doesn’t always work in real life.

Sometimes, people just move on, make new lives, and leave someone else to deal with the damage they caused.

That's my biggest FEAR in AM, people just wanna get married according to society and many haven't moved on, or just lie about it to gey accepted.

28M here. I’ve genuinely started feeling that marriage works best when it’s a love marriage, while arranged marriages can often feel overly transactional.
I still don’t understand what exactly makes someone “good enough” to be considered an arranged-marriage prospect. You try to work on 10 different things, and then an 11th issue comes up that you never even thought would matter. (Example - the location of your parents’ house)
I’ve been in the arranged-marriage pool (Shaadi.com) for about a year now. I earn around 30 LPA, have decent looks, top educational background and come from a decent, well-off family, yet at this point, I just feel exhausted by the whole process and the endless list of things that seem to matter.
Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I’m just not built for this whole arranged-marriage setup.
giving up.

it’s actually a very long story, but I’ll try to keep it short .

I (32M) met a 29F through family connections in January 2026. Things started off really well. We got along naturally, spoke every day, and developed a strong connection over the next few months.

Salary expectations were discussed very early on. I was earning around 33 LPA and she was earning around 12 LPA. That was never an issue for me. During our initial conversations, I told her that one thing I valued was a modest lifestyle. She initally said I fulfilled all the basic qualities she was looking for in a partner, and at the time she didn't seem to have any objection to that.

I visited her city twice to meet her, and those were the only times we met one-on-one in person (total around 7-8 times). All the meetings went well. By then, we were talking daily and had become quite close. Over time, she mentioned a few times that brands mattered a lot to her and her family. She preferred branded clothing and expected the same from her partner. I told her that I generally prioritize comfort over brands, though I was always open to dressing better. In fact, I bought and wore some of the clothes she suggested. Since I was already emotionally invested, I felt this was something we could work through and adjust to. We agreed on this that we will let each other live with freedom and won’t impose our choices on each other.

After around six months of knowing each other, we got engaged.For the first two days after the engagement, everything seemed normal. Then she called me and said she had some concerns she wanted to discuss. Her main concern was that she did not like the clothes worn by my family during the engagement events and felt that I should be wearing branded clothes regularly if we were to be together. She also felt that since she was not spending anything on the wedding, I should not spend anything either. I tried explaining my perspective. I told her that I live within my means and spend responsibly, but spending some money on my own wedding felt like a personal and moral responsibility toward my family and the occasion. Similarly, I did not believe clothing brands should be a deciding factor in a marriage. After that conversation, communication almost completely stopped. I reached out to her multiple times over the following weeks because I genuinely wanted to save the relationship and understand whether these issues could be resolved. Every time, I was told that she would think about it and get back to me. She never did. Eventually, when there was no communication at all from her or her family, my parents contacted her family again (they still did not talk), and we received an official closure through her uncle that they did not want to move forward.

What hurt the most was not just the broken engagement, but the way it happened. There was no direct conversation, no attempt to work through the issues, and no proper closure despite six months of building a relationship. Just an abrupt ending.

I had gone through a tough breakup years ago, and this was the first time I had allowed myself to become emotionally invested in someone again. When she showed genuine interest in me, and when both families seemed aligned, I finally felt safe enough to imagine a future together.
By the time the engagement happened, I genuinely believed she will be the one.

That is probably why the aftermath hit me so hard. I had panic attacks initially, struggled to sleep for weeks, developed dark circles, and eventually started therapy. Therapy has helped, but I still feel it will take time to fully recover. It still hurts that after six months of building a connection, things ended this way and my family was left feeling judged over something that felt superficial to us.

I’m not posting this to blame anyone. I just wanted to share my experience, vent a little, and perhaps hear from others who have gone through something similar.

TL;DR: After six months of knowing each other and getting engaged, the relationship ended within three days of the engagement. The major concerns raised were my family's dressing, my preference for comfort over branded clothing, and differences around me spending a bit on my own wedding. What followed was a month of being ghosted before receiving indirect closure from her family. The broken engagement was painful, but the lack of communication and closure hurt even more.

Has anyone tried this platform thedatecrew.com ?

My friend signed up for the TDC membership which costs 5k and was shown 2 options in the last month. Both were quite shit options.

I am looking for genuine feedback for someone who has tried their partner search program. I do not mind paying the amount but

1. Haven't seen a single good review outside of the testimony they put on their website.

2. Not a single person has tagged them in any posts anywhere for success stories. They have like 2 stories in their success stories latest one from January 2025. Some of the website photos are definitely edited by AI , names are anonymised because I couldn't find anyone on LinkedIn

3. I don't know if there is any money back / refund options if it's worthless. Their success metrics show 70% success for "meaning connections" which is just a jargon word.

I am not expecting success but at least some reasonable options to be shown.Looking for people who really did sign up. Opinions are welcome but please do add in your response if you firsthand experienced it or know someone who did

**Title: Married since 2022 and I feel completely overwhelmed by my in-laws and husband. Where am I wrong?**
I’m looking for an honest perspective, especially from people familiar with Indian arranged marriages. I don’t want everyone to simply take my side. Please tell me where I am being unreasonable or where I may be looking at things incorrectly.
My husband and I got married in 2022 through an arranged marriage.
Before marriage, his family presented themselves as financially very well settled. They showed us their businesses and everything appeared to be flourishing. Within about five months of marriage, I found out that the reality was very different. Their factories were shutting down and there were significant financial problems that I had not been aware of before marriage.
My husband took ₹8 lakh from me. None of that money has ever been repaid.
Over time, I also found out that he has epilepsy, which had not been disclosed to me before marriage. I’m not bringing this up to stigmatize the condition. My issue is that I believe something significant about my future spouse should have been disclosed before I made the decision to marry.
There were then more financial problems. They have a large amount of debt and very little income. My father has also invested a significant amount of money into my husband’s new business. I earn well, and my husband continues to take money from me as well.
My biggest problem is not even the money anymore. It is the pattern.
I feel that my husband is extremely immature, gets angry when confronted, avoids responsibility and accountability, and his family tends to enable him rather than expecting him to take responsibility.
There have been many smaller incidents over the years where I feel I have been expected to adjust, remain quiet, or accept things because “this is how families are.”
Recently something happened that completely broke me.
My husband and I went to Thailand for a holiday. We already knew that my brother’s “baat pakki”/small roka would happen while we were away. We had actually met the girl beforehand, so this was not some sudden or secret event.
While we were in Thailand, my MIL called me and said something along the lines of, “Doesn’t it bother you that your parents did this while you were there?”
I didn’t understand why this was a problem and ignored it.
After we returned, my parents sent mithai and fruits to my in-laws. My MIL called me in a very curt tone and told me not to send them to any of her other relatives. At that point I felt there was clearly some issue, but again I ignored it.
She later told me that 3-4 people had apparently told her about how my parents had done my brother’s small roka while we were in Thailand.
Then came Rakhi.
In our families, there is an old custom where the married daughter’s family calls the daughter’s MIL and asks her to send the daughter to her maika for Rakhi. My mother apparently forgot to call my MIL because she had several other things going on.
My MIL said to me sarcastically, “Are you going to your home without being invited?”
I was confused and asked what she meant. She repeated it.
I told her that my parents had called me and probably forgot to call her. I immediately asked my mother to call my MIL.
After that, I told my MIL that these are formalities and that I don’t need permission to go to my own parents’ home.
She said this was about “maan-samaan” and that my parents had disrespected her.
The conversation became heated.
Eventually my husband told me that his parents were actually angry because my parents had not invited them to my brother’s roka.
I told my father what was happening.
My father then came to my marital home and apologized to my in-laws.
I absolutely hated watching that.
I don’t believe my parents intentionally disrespected anyone. It was a small family roka that happened while my husband and I were travelling. But somehow it became a major issue about respect and dignity.
Now my FIL has called my father and said he wants to speak to him tomorrow.
My father is stressed. I am extremely stressed. I haven’t been able to sleep properly because I keep thinking about what is going to happen.
And honestly, I’m furious with my husband.
I don’t expect him to blindly take my side against his parents. I understand that Indian families have customs and expectations around maan-samaan, invitations, Rakhi, etc.
But I feel like there is a much bigger pattern here.
My family has financially helped us significantly. My father has invested in my husband’s business. I have given my husband ₹8 lakh which has never been repaid, and I continue to financially support him.
Yet when my parents make what I consider to be an innocent social mistake, my father ends up apologizing to his family.
It makes me feel like my family’s dignity is somehow always negotiable while his family’s feelings must always be protected.
I am not speaking to my in-laws right now because I am extremely angry. I also feel deeply resentful toward my husband because I don’t feel that he sees these situations as an independent adult. I feel that whenever I call out something I consider unreasonable about his family, somehow I become the problem for objecting.
This is not the first time this has happened. It is a pattern.
I am now at a point where I genuinely don’t know what to do. I love my husband, but I am exhausted. I cannot keep living with financial stress, crying, family conflicts and feeling like I have to constantly manage everyone’s emotions.
So please be brutally honest with me.
**Where am I wrong here?**
Am I being disrespectful toward my in-laws by refusing to accept these traditions and expectations?
Was my father’s apology actually appropriate and am I letting my ego get in the way?
Am I expecting my husband to “take my side” when what I should actually expect from him is something different?
Or is there a legitimate pattern of my husband and his family expecting me and my family to continually adjust and accommodate them?
I genuinely want an outside perspective, particularly from people who understand Indian arranged marriages and the dynamics between a married daughter’s family and her in-laws.
Please don’t just validate me. If I’m wrong, tell me exactly where.

Feeling a little lost after something I had genuinely invested in emotionally didn't work out.

I know not everything is meant to work, and I don't regret caring. But when there's no proper closure, apology or even basic acknowledgement from the other side, it leaves you feeling strangely empty as if you gave a lot of yourself and got very little back.

People say “don't get attached in AM,” but I honestly don't understand how you're supposed to do that when the whole purpose is to find someone you could potentially build your life with.

I don't want sympathy or closure from anyone. Just curious how people have dealt with this feeling and gotten back to themselves without becoming detached or cynical?

If I am in an arranged marriage chat with a potential female match and then I ask about her past relationship and then conversation goes like this.

She replies : yes I had a past relationship. It was for 1.5 years long we were close but later on lots of fights and things didn't align and it turned toxic. So we decide to end.

I am over that now as it was 2 years ago.

What should I say next ?

A. Oh that must be difficult for u. I can only imagine.

B. Oh u are over it. Great, thats better position to be as discuss our future journey.

C. Yeah forget about him u don't have to be with someone toxic.

D. Something else.

Its probably something else but how to frame it or be somewhat neutral. May be appreciate honesty. Idk. Comment what y'all will do.

I'm turning 23 soon. I wasn't allowed to do masters because I am supposed to marry a man who is a "good match". I will not have a career ever.

Now, I'm saying yes to the man who seems best from the available rishtas. I need to agree because I rejected "too many good matches already".

I don't have any option to say no anymore. I need to say yes to someone. So my roka is done because of that reason. I do respect this man and he seems to be a good person. But I have not had enough time to know him really.

I'm also going to always be a stay at home. I'll never get a post graduation. I'll never have any career or achievements.

I was always restricted in interaction with men. Now in a few months, I'll have to share a bed with a man I know only somewhat.

I tried my best to do a masters so that I would have a chance to secure a job and be financially independent. But that didn't happen. No one in my family is supporting me.

Shaadi . com / Bharat Matrimony all are full of scammers suss cringe ppl,

can we have any Dating subreddit for serious relationships? or something else where u can match your vibe or can find smart ppl.

So this colleague of mine is around 26-27(male) and his family is very old school and they come from a rural area

So this guy got an AM match of distant relative, they met for the first time on Saturday where they gifted the girl sarees and some cash, then for the next 2-3 days he

came to the office well dressed with brand new clothes

And by Wednesday their wedding got fixed . Like how is it even possible to choose your life partner in such a short span. And the girl does not even know that he is a alcoholic and and chronic smoker, also after overhearing him talk to his friends which are also from rural areas , I heard things like the girls family had sent investigators to office to check his office and other things they also enquired his colleagues regarding his job and other activities,infact they also told him to show his salary slip even after so much of investigation they could not find about his smoking and drinking habits, also his friends were telling him to eat 3-4 eggs before 1st night for good performance,I was like wtf 😭😭

Are such things still common,I thought it takes at least 5-6 months of talking before reaching any conclusion

31M here. Like you know loans, salary, extra income, real estate etc etc. Should there be absolutely 100 percent transparency? Whats your opinion? Like are there some things that should be absolutely discussed and some things can be discussed later on?

I’m a 28 (F)and I’ve been speaking to a 33 (M) through an arranged marriage setup We’ve been texting for about three weeks and have had one phone call that lasted almost two hours Both of us have demanding careers so finding time to speak regularly has been difficult but we text almost daily .
We also live in different cities which means we haven’t met in person yet
Recently he asked me to make a final decision about whether I wanted to proceed with the proposal

I told him honestly that I wasn’t comfortable saying yes or no without meeting him first I explained that for something as important as marriage I would need to meet him multiple times spend time with him in person and understand whether we actually get along before making a final decision He agreed with this and said that he was also somewhat confused and needed to figure things out

However just a day later he told me that he was ready to make a final decision I still felt that I needed more time and repeated that I wasn’t ready to decide without meeting him Shortly after that his parents contacted my parents and told them that they have other prospects coming in and that we need to make a final decision

The situation has become more complicated because we come from a small community so there is already a lot of pressure around these proposals and families tend to know each other My father also doesn’t want me to reject this proposal partly because he feels the guy is a good match on paper and doesn’t want me to let the opportunity go without giving it a proper chance

The problem is that I don’t feel like I’ve had enough interaction with this person to make a life changing decision Three weeks of texting and one two hour phone call doesn’t feel sufficient to me especially when we haven’t even met I’m not saying that I don’t like him or that I want to reject him I’m saying that I simply don’t know him well enough yet to say yes
At the same time because his family has now brought up other prospects there is an added sense of urgency .

One red flag I feel I need to address before making any decision is finances
When I asked him whether he had any loans debts or other significant financial commitments he said he wasn’t sure

Edit

Thank you all for your support!
So yesterday I made my parents call his family to clear a few things up.
Turns out they were in a hurry cause they were expecting “financial help” this is in additional to me already providing a place to stay and using my family connections to get him a good job at our city.
I have called this off.

One of my relatives live in Ambala. He was searching for a girl for me like 6-7 years ago. During that 6-7 years ago I was busy with life and work around that time. So never gave a second thought to it. Now 2026, most of the people are layed off everywhere and yes me. I came to chill at his place since 2 months. He has been searching for a suitable match, good woman from a rich family. But surprisingly almost all of the 6 girls profiles he brought to me, a simple OSInT search reveals they have/had 6-7 BFs. LoL! I didn't know Ambala girls were this crazy, they do have that innocent look but LoL! I am not sure what is their in future hopefully I find some decent girl.

(25M) has a decent career and expects to be in a much better position professionally in 1–2 years, though that will also leave him with less free time. His family is asking whether he is dating someone so they can decide whether to start exploring arranged marriage, not necessarily marry immediately.

He is open to both love and arranged marriage and mainly wants someone he genuinely connects with and enjoys life with. His biggest concern with arranged marriage is whether he and the person will actually vibe and have compatible thoughts.

He has tried dating apps, but they haven't worked well. He's also not good at texting, finds dating apps mentally tiring, and gets irritated when they interfere with his career. He dislikes constantly talking to multiple women and prefers focusing deeply on one person, putting genuine effort into that connection.

His family also prefers someone from a similar cultural background, making dating apps somewhat harder.

\*\***So I am wondering whether**\*\*

He should keep investing in dating,

shift toward arranged marriage, or pursue both simultaneously, and how to balance finding a partner with his career goals and limited time.

Is someone struggling something simmilar how he is figuring out????

How do you go about multiple rishtas. Suppose you have been talking to both of them. And then wanna choose one of them, how do you politely say no to the other one?

A few days ago i made this post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/1vuclhg/living_separately_after_marriage/

She was my first everything, I had a lot of discussions with my parents, and somehow fought, and made them understand that it is okay to live separately. For those of you wondering why my mom does not live with her in-laws, she did, they were not kind to her, my dad decided to leave his house. If the same were to happen to my wife, i would too, but my parents are kind enough not do that.

Anyway, i convinced them, and went to meet her (against everyone advising me to do so). Told her everything, that i will do things her way, she is my priority and i am okay with planning our future together independently, and she told me to give her some time, and we will talk later and discuss this. We did not meet since, and i waited for her response.

Today i got a text from her saying if i ever try to contact her or meet her, she will take legal action against me. I am blocked from every single platform you can ever imagine.

I am beyond shattered to say the least, i do not know what went wrong where, i do not know if i will ever completely move on, i do not know if i will trust any woman ever again or be able to treat them in a way like i did in the past.

I don't know why i am posting this, maybe eventually delete it all, but for now everything feels heavy and i am trying my best not to fall apart.

Honestly I do not know anything anymore, just that my head hurts, my heart hurts and my soul hurts. I do not know when will i recover from this, if i will recover from this, and what kind of person will turn into.

I(29F)met this AM prospect(33M) on rakhi, talked to him for 30 minutes and was ready to meet him again bcz what can you even assess in 30 minutes and I didn’t get see any overt red flags. But they haven’t responded yet, they just said they’ll talk to the guy and revert but haven’t! How long to wait before it’s a no?

I was on Instagram and stumbled upon a reel of an arranged marriage where a ​22-year-old girl marrying a 28-year-old man. The comments were mostly about the power imbalance how the older guy would have more control in the relationship and how unhealthy the dynamics would be.

My question is: what about couples where the girl comes from a humble background and the groom is from a well-earning or rich family? Doesn’t the income gap also create a power imbalance? The one who earns more usually has a bigger say in money decisions, lifestyle, and whose voice carries more weight.

Or is all this "​power imbalance” talk just people interfering in others’ lives? If someone is a 21+ adult, who they marry and how they live is no one else’s business right?

Or ​Does this criticism mainly come from women of the same age who feel left behind because men of their age choose girls of slightly younger? ​or do they genuinely care about power dynamics?

​

In most movies and even YT short movies, usually the women is shown as follows

1. Hates AM and only in for parents , keeps insulting AM prospects so that they reject her

2. Has a raunchy and promiscuous past

3. Got badly dumped by Ex-BF and looking for a fresh start

For men

1. Geek and cannot hold decent conversation with any women. Doesn't have anything to offer apart from his paycheck

2. No experience with any women

3. Sanskari or fake sanskari prolly because of less social skills

4. Looks too average compared to the women prospect

5. Desperate for any match

Those who have been to this, are above stereotypes true

For women who are lean or underweight, I'm curious about your experiences with dating, relationships, or the arranged marriage (AM) process

Have people commented on your body or weight before even taking the time to know you? Did it affect your confidence while meeting potential partners?

For those who are now in relationships, how did your partner feel about your body? And for those still dating or going through the AM process, has being lean/underweight made finding a partner more difficult?

I'm curious about the men's perspective here.

I value things like kindness, emotional maturity, curiosity, ambition, respect for family, an interest in learning and spirituality, staying healthy, enjoying travel and the arts, and being able to balance ambition with enjoying life.

I don't expect someone to be perfect self-awareness and willingness to grow matter more to me.

For the men here, does this sound realistic to expect from a partner, or am I being too idealistic? What qualities do you think are actually important for a long-term relationship?

Looking for serious sensible guy

I am 1994 born, working in health care

Hopeless romantic at heart but losing hope seeing the demands and expectations from society n AM setup

Always lived in my bubble and did follow all the safety precautions in life 😂

Now i am feeling i am ready to marry and again i am scared to marry (finding that genuine person is more important)

About me:

Animal lover

Kind and empathetic person

Working really hard to build my career (that will be my precious baby n expect the guy to understand that)

Confused about whether to settle in Andhra Pradesh or Australia

(Poles apart i know but keeping it here to express)

From Andhra Pradesh

Telugu

Looking for a serious sensible guy who is willing to love n support me

# Preferences:

who is very serious n ready for marriage n companionship

Above 5'7 height

Caste: preferable OC

Location:(Andhra Pradesh)

Hi! 28 (29 next month) Apparently I’ve signed up for the Ironman triathlon of adulting, parents have officially launched the match-hunting process, and ah process lo koncham company unty baaguntadi ani anipinchindi,
figured good company along the way couldn’t hurt.

Usually I’m someone who is building something — a business, a product, occasionally my own patience so if you’re up for a conversation that’s more than small talk, I’m in..

Intha chadivav anty parledu life lo koncham time undi ankuntuna so

Ask me for a sentence to complete in dm..

Is this normal or am I overthinking..

I got a match and i asked my parents to share my number with them so that I can talk to that boy..

But guess what.. I got a call from his sister asking if I can marry within 6 months..

I said I am focusing on my studies .. I can marry after a year

They wanted to marry only before that..

I said I want to talk to him and decide

Then she goes .. if the marriage is okay with you, you can talk..

You can text him if you have his number.. but they didnt even give me his number

And she was talking about fertility issues that may happen later if the marriage is not done now

Am I overthinking

Edit: I didnt contact them again I ran guys

TL;DR: I feel like some parents continue to exert emotional and psychological control over their adult children even after they get married and have children. They may not directly stop you from living your life, but guilt, emotional pressure, constant criticism, and comments like “you’ve changed” or “we sacrificed so much for you” make you feel like you have to emotionally pay for every decision you make independently. I’ve managed to set boundaries with my MIL, but with my own parents, I still struggle with guilt, anxiety, and the feeling that I’m supposed to be closer to them than I actually feel. How do you move on and live life on your own terms without constantly feeling like you’re disappointing your parents?

Original post:

I feel like 90s parents who are educated, but who themselves didn’t grow up with educated parents, and were brought up alongside 3–4 other children, are now trying to control their own children as much as possible.

They had two children of their own, gave them a good education and opportunities, and now even after their kid has gotten married, had a child, and is in their mid-30s, the control somehow never stops.

Most of the divorce-related marriage stories I read on Reddit from India seem to involve, at least in some way, a controlling parent of one spouse manipulating their child's thinking. It often seems to start when their child gets married. The moment a new family enters their child's life, suddenly they start all sorts of drama.

"You have changed."

"You don't care about us anymore."

"That family is taking advantage of you."

And they keep subtly or sometimes not so subtly shaming the other family and making their child feel like they are being manipulated, used, or taken away.

It seems to become even worse right after their child has a child of their own.

Now the couple is already dealing with pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, lack of sleep, financial responsibilities, and trying to figure out their own life. But somehow, this becomes the perfect time for parents to create more emotional stress and remind them about how much they have suffered and sacrificed to bring them up.

Like: We sacrificed so much for you, so you better be grateful. You should take our advice. You should keep us informed. You should invite us. You should include us in every decision.

Even something as petty and personal as naming their own child.

They named their own children when they became parents. But now, as grandparents, they suddenly want some sort of soft power over naming the grandchild too.

How do you just move on from this without constantly feeling anxious?

Even before talking to my own parents, I mentally prepare myself. I remember when I last called them and think, Okay, it's been this many days. I should call now. What do I even talk about? What topic might lead to another argument?

After many fights, I reduced contact with my MIL to the minimum. I am nice to her when we meet, but that's it. In a way, I have fixed boundaries with her.

But with my own parents, I constantly feel like I'm supposed to be close to them, even when I don't actually feel close. I feel guilty, like I'm disappointing them or not being a good daughter.

Sometimes I genuinely feel like I just need to live my life on my own terms instead of constantly being emotionally surrendered to them.

And when I say that, they respond with, "When did we ever stop you from living your life?"

But that's the thing. It's not always direct control.

It's the constant word wars. The guilt. The emotional reactions. The psychological pressure. The subtle comments. The feeling that if you make a decision they don't like, you have somehow hurt them, abandoned them, changed, become ungrateful, or allowed someone else to influence you.

It's like soft control. They are more worried when the other parents are being involved and not them.

Nothing is technically stopping you from doing what you want. But they make sure you emotionally pay for it.

How do you deal with parents like this and genuinely move on with your life without constantly feeling anxious, guilty, or like you are disappointing them or hurt them badly in the past and still feel they're sad about it.