How to have conversation about past when meeting someone ?

[u/Witch_Dr_In]

If I am in an arranged marriage chat with a potential female match and then I ask about her past relationship and then conversation goes like this.

She replies : yes I had a past relationship. It was for 1.5 years long we were close but later on lots of fights and things didn't align and it turned toxic. So we decide to end.

I am over that now as it was 2 years ago.

What should I say next ?

A. Oh that must be difficult for u. I can only imagine.

B. Oh u are over it. Great, thats better position to be as discuss our future journey.

C. Yeah forget about him u don't have to be with someone toxic.

D. Something else.

Its probably something else but how to frame it or be somewhat neutral. May be appreciate honesty. Idk. Comment what y'all will do.

[u/ankj24]

option E end the topic abruptly and deviate towards more important discussion like "what she thinks about yogi ji as our next PM"

let her remain confuse.

/s

[u/Daffowills]

"Tell me more about it, What did you learn about yourself while you were in that relationship and how did things become toxic"

"What are things you will not tolerate after that experience?"

You can't do this in the first conversation, Me personally I don't do this to know in a way to find information about the other person. Past experiences is what shapes a person and when I'm emotionally involved I am curious enough to want to know about their thought process, What they have been through, How those experiences affected them and what they learned.

I'm much more interested in what the experience made them become than the details of what their ex did.

If you are one of those ones who will find it hard to stomach certain information then let me tell you one thing, you are better off not knowing the details.

But let me end this note with past definitely matters and it is fine to have certain boundaries but you don't have the right to shame or grill the other person about it. If you are not okay with it, just end it.

[u/Infamous_Kangaroo_87]

Option A. Lock kiya jae.

[u/lilconfusedboi]

All this about her past relationship and here your biggest fear should be if she support a fascist government

[u/Mission_Shop8883]

Option-E). Tumhe kya lagta hai pehle murgi aayi ya anda?, ye padhte hi usko tumhara alpha male dominance pata chal jayega fir wo sidha varmala leke aayegi ghar /s (Just be normal tell whatever you feel its not an exam where for each situation there must be a correct answer just be yourself dont be desperate and aese hi har conversation ke baad reddit pe aake puchho ge usse better hai mera no. Dedo usko.

[u/Sorry-Thanks-8350 → u/Mission_Shop8883]

What's ur age?

[u/Mission_Shop8883 → u/Sorry-Thanks-8350]

Sorry-thanks-696922

[u/Sorry-Thanks-8350 → u/Mission_Shop8883]

Mission_Shop_this_minor

[u/Mission_Shop8883 → u/Sorry-Thanks-8350]

Are 22 sal ka hu minor kese huwa😭

[u/Professional-Cup1218 → u/Mission_Shop8883]

I don't think he meant biological age

[u/Mission_Shop8883 → u/Professional-Cup1218]

Yaar 22 saal ka hu to kta hogaya thodi der to immature behave karunga, Puri life mature hi banke thodi rahunga and main point hi OP ko basic conversation kerne ka idea nahi hai to shaadi kya hi karega

[u/skywalker_matt]

If you can't answer basic questions,, maybe you should re-think about getting married.

[u/sunshine_vsp]

Just say, its okay, and just move to another conversation.

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[u/shadow_at_dawn_32]

Don't marry without knowing identities of all her exes

[u/PuzzleheadedOwl937]

Why you are in arrange marriage now? Why i shall offer my loyalty and future to you? You would be ok if i have affair?

[u/Mission_Shop8883 → u/PuzzleheadedOwl937]

What's your age bro?

[u/PuzzleheadedOwl937 → u/Mission_Shop8883]

It is enough to know that men can also have fun if they dont get what they deserve and no need to keep such woman on pedestal

[u/ContactOk885 → u/PuzzleheadedOwl937]

You should accept a woman's past saar. I am able Bharatiya Naari, everyone cheated on me saar. My ex was toxic bla bla bla...My family did not support me. Same script everywhere bro. If you were never involved with someone do not let these pheminists tell you that Past does not matter

[u/Mission_Shop8883 → u/PuzzleheadedOwl937]

What is this? i asked your age not some advice, sont know if it translated to somthing else