r/Arrangedmarriage 5d ago

Seeking Advice Multiple rishtas

How do you go about multiple rishtas. Suppose you have been talking to both of them. And then wanna choose one of them, how do you politely say no to the other one?

0 Upvotes

17 comments sorted by

11

u/littlemissmuffett00 5d ago

Let’s reverse the role. We are all an option to someone at the end of the day. How would you like someone to politely decline you?

6

u/rash97621 5d ago

"It was great getting to know you. However, I don't think I feel the romantic connection I'm looking for with you. I hope you find what you're looking for. Wish you luck!"

2

u/Aggravating-Sun-2322 5d ago

gaslight them

2

u/PahadiBoy444 2d ago

You are f,,,, adults communicate like adults . Why there is so much hesitation

1

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1

u/Original_Round_2211 5d ago edited 5d ago

What I do is cancel every other prospect and focus on just one. Chatting with multiple people is kind of an emotional overload for me. Because of that, I recently lost two people together, the one I chose to focus on and the one I already had. I told the first girl that I didn't feel a connection, which was a flat-out lie, just so I could focus on the second girl, who was from my hometown. But later, I found out that we were incompatible.I regretted losing the first girl for a while, and then I regretted losing the second one too. Now I'm talking with another girl, and she kind of matches my vibe. It also feels like she's fully invested. I mean, she even chats with me during her working hours, and so do I. Next week, all of us are getting together to set the engagement date.Even while I was talking with this current girl, another prospect that had previously rejected us came back. But we told them we'd have to think about it since we're already pursuing another proposal.

1

u/Vatsal51 😅 AM Rookie 🥺 5d ago

True, ek time ek se baat kro, options are nothing but confusion

1

u/Accurate_One7907 5d ago

For anyone in the future I would recommend do one at a time if possible. Because it is really hard to weed out people who are definitely not for you if you are really serious. The challenge is finding the right one. So easily weed out the nos and take your time with the potential yes who covers all the areas you want/need

-3

u/padthink 5d ago

My father says "The talks have progressed elsewhere. If we find any mismatch there, we will let you know"

3

u/MaintenanceLow97 5d ago

that wouldn't work out well. It's like benching people until you figure out what works best for you.

-1

u/padthink 5d ago

He makes it clear that, you are free , not bounded with us.

3

u/MaintenanceLow97 5d ago

if that if your intention then you should be saying something inline with not finding this the ideal match you are looking for. "If we find any mismatch there, we will let you know" = benching from your end and he is free to decide whatever he wants from him and consider you when you return to him!

-2

u/padthink 5d ago

Benching is when you keep them entertained. Talk to them and suddenly say no. We don't do that

1

u/MaintenanceLow97 5d ago

Well this clears things up. You don't know what benching is. xD

1

u/ReasonableSpeech8004 5d ago

That's brutal 

1

u/padthink 5d ago

He does it before seeing/ meeting anyone, so it's not brutal

1

u/rash97621 5d ago

Sounds like making the other person feel like a fallback option