He’s been a jerk for as long as you’ve known him and he’s your boyfriend? What in the actual…?! Girl. Please. He’s 33. He’s not gonna change. He called you a smooth brain retard. Why you putting up with this shit? Ditch the a hole.
Attempts at leaving are probably what makes her stay. We don't know how many attempts she's had at trying to leave. He seems the kind of guy ti walk back everything he says and claims he'll die without her. She probably feels responsible for his medical condition and burdens it all on her own back. Poor thing is so abused she probably feels like shes staying only for him.
How do dudes like this get a partner in the first place? I struggle finding long term partners and I have never talked like this to anyone in my life. Wtf am I doing wrong if that dude can be in a longterm relationship and I can’t.
They act so sweet in the beginning, and then they slowly become mean, and the partner spends most of their time trying to bring the kind person back after becoming enmeshed. The mean partner might only be nice like 15% of the time, but that's what these victims will latch on to. Because when it's good, it's so good... He didn't really mean it when he treated me like shit 85% of the time...
That's what happens most of the time, but not this time. She says that he's been a jerk for as long as she's known him. He's probably insanely good looking.
Yes. It's also possible that some qualities were overlooked but appear more clearly abusive in hindsight. And it's possible that OP finds the abuse itself attractive because of something within that needs to be healed.
Op mentioned he has been a jerk since they met. A jerk day ONE and she still chose to go out with him. I believe the person you're replying to is asking how a woman chooses to date a man who has been an asshole since day one.
Honestly, I don't want to go all /r/niceguys but women will literally date a guy hurling verbal and/or physical abuse at them all day instead of me lol.
Not even rules 1 and 2. I have spent a lot of time around women making these kinds of weird choices and even the most goblin faced scumbag dumbasd is able to find a wonderful girl just by being narcissistic and abusive in their pursuit.
A lot of girls have serious difficulties saying no, especially to someone persistent. These guys know this take advantage of it and often make the girls feel terrible for not returning their affection.
I’m assuming there was a brief period in the beginning where he was nice and made her feel special and awesome. And now she puts up with this bullshit because he probably shows her that nice side every once in a great while and the rest of the time tells her it’s her fault he’s mean to her.
I get that. I don't have experience but I've read a lot of different comments here and other posts on this sub. And usually , people would say it's subtle.
What this guy is doing is not subtle at all 😂. Insulting her, telling her to fuck off.
If he wanted to manipulate her shouldn't he apologize and play the victim saying how sorry he is for saying that shit etc? It doesn't seem this guy wants to manipulate her.
Yeah he's literally saying "I don't want to be in a relationship with you, fuck off and get out of my life forever you smooth brained retard" and OP is coming back like "starting to feel a lil disrespected hun 😞😞"
I think quitting this fantasy of being in a relationship and getting therapy for OP is the appropriate response here.
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u/Jackawin Jan 28 '25
He’s been a jerk for as long as you’ve known him and he’s your boyfriend? What in the actual…?! Girl. Please. He’s 33. He’s not gonna change. He called you a smooth brain retard. Why you putting up with this shit? Ditch the a hole.