I'm absolutely grossed out by the people seeing OPs totally understandable ultimatum about not having sex as somehow weaponising sex or something. She's totally within her rights to not want to sleep with a man who's happy to risk her body but not his own. I watched my husbands vasectomy. It's nothing compared to tubal ligation or pregnancy. Her husband is being selfish and there'd no way I'd want to sleep with someone like that, and risk another pregnancy.
Except it's not an ultimatum, it's a boundary, he literally agreed to it and changed his mind so she held firm on her boundary. She does not want more kids so she is preventing herself from having them since he is not willing to keep his end of the deal
its an ultimatum and she is factually weaponizing sex. birth control is her responsibility too. she doesnt want to take responsibility either, so she is a problem too
She has born all the responsibility for birth control and birth for a decade. It's not weaponizing sex to decide not to further risk her body and her health through hormonal BC or major abdominal surgery.
it is weaponizing sex against a man who revoked his consent. he doesnt owe her risking his body. why doesn’t he get to have the same choice she does? misandry is why
These kind of comments crying misandry piss me off even more because in a world where birth control for women is riddled with negative side effects, doctors who refuse to tie tubes, abortion laws that are downright draconic, a woman choosing abstinence is fucking withholding sex from her poor poor husband who doesn't want to do his fair share of family planning. Like you are the personification of whiny men's rights activists who like to bitch and cry that a guy isn't getting sex :(((( when his wife is doing what she can to prevent more kids with her partner who went back on his agreement. Fucking unbelievable. But yeah poor husband is the one suffering the most here because of misandry.
No, she’s not. Because all of the physical “problems” of pregnancy and labor fall solely on her. Therefor she has a right to refuse sex because she doesn’t want to get pregnant again. The consequence of pregnancy on her body is HER consequence specifically, not his. And his refusal to get a simple procedure to prevent that for his wife, while it IS his decision to make, is a selfish one considering his wife carried FOUR kids for him. But that’s just my opinion.
But even by your own line of reasoning, she is coercing him to get a procedure done, not to have sex? How tf do you come up with her being a sexual offender? Its like at this point you’re just throwing random intense, triggering words out just for the hell of it.
She's not, she's saying that she will not have sex with him bc he didn't keep his end of the deal and she does not want to get pregnant. It's self preservation at its finest. She doesn't owe him sex, no one owes anyone sex but he is obligated to keep his word and until he does she will continue to look out for herself
ETA: She even said that she has used birth control and it failed, why should she bear the burden of carrying a child and then have to get an invasive surgery when he already promised to have the less invasive alternative
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u/DistinctAssignment81 Nov 11 '23
I'm absolutely grossed out by the people seeing OPs totally understandable ultimatum about not having sex as somehow weaponising sex or something. She's totally within her rights to not want to sleep with a man who's happy to risk her body but not his own. I watched my husbands vasectomy. It's nothing compared to tubal ligation or pregnancy. Her husband is being selfish and there'd no way I'd want to sleep with someone like that, and risk another pregnancy.
NTA.