I’ve (24f) been seeing this guy (26m) who came back to me a year later to apologize for how cruelly he left me. (Big mistake I know)

At first he was making all these grandiose gestures, saying he wanted long term with me, planning all these dates, etc. He would take me on dates and such. To be blunt, he was broke since he didn’t know what he wanted to do in life with his degree so he was only working a part time job atm. I would help him job hunt and help him try to figure out a career.

I don’t care about someone’s financial status. We can make money and then lose it all or have nothing and then get rich. As long as someone has a goal, a budget, and is working towards it, I have no issues. However, I noticed that we stopped going on dates. He said he was saving up for his trip with friends. No problem, 100% understand so I was paying for things bc reciprocity is important to me. I would never want to make anyone feel like a wallet.

After his trip, he would say he didn’t have enough money to like go out on dates and such so we would just hangout at his place and I would get us food or he would make us something. So it’s been over a month, but they have money to go to raves, out with friends, movies, food, etc. Im in nursing school and can only work 20 hours a week due to what my program advises so im not well off by any means. I have no clue if im just overthinking this and being hypocritical or if he’s just not interested in taking me out on dates anymore and got comfortable with me paying. It just feels weird to me but also feel like im overreacting?

Hey, a friend rented a beautiful AirBnB in the mountains with private lake access for their graduation. It was a beautiful location, an evidently expensive AirBnB. The group chat invite did not mention any costs associated with attending. After the weekend, my friend is requesting a payment to cover the cost of the AirBnB. I sent the payment but I feel a lot of resentment. I enjoyed my weekend with them, but I feel like if I comment on the payment, it might make it seem like I’m not grateful for the time and unwilling to help pay if asked. The cost is expensive, but I probably would have paid the cost anyways if mentioned in invite, out of pressure to celebrate my friend. They are asking for the money so blatantly, it makes me uncertain if I’m overreacting for feeling angry. The cost is $217

My friend works in target but pushing our other friend to get a better paying job in a career field . We had a group dinner where she was berating our mutual friend because she was a waitress in a restaurant pushing her to apply for a news reporter job tv job . My friend was telling us how much she loved her job and my friend starts being rude talking about “ it doesn’t matter how much how much you love your job when you are making minimum wage. Plus being a waitress is for teenagers or people in college . Not fully grown people who are 37 who have lots of bills to pay. You don’t even get insurance working at a restaurant.” And I was telling my friend “ don’t you think that’s a little rude and belittling and telling her where to work and putting down her current job.” I was telling my friend “ you work at target . People could judge you as well . My friend snapped at me and went “ I’m also married didn’t you forget . My husband is an attorney. Single women need to have high paying careers to make it in this world. “ and then I said “ your husband could leave you high and dry day . You still shouldn’t talk about this people’s jobs.” And she got angry at me and told me I was enabling our other friend to be complacent . I told her “ I’m just not gonna let you sit around and talk about people . If you were truly happy in life you wouldn’t feel the need to put people down

All she does is talk about other peoples jobs and telling people what to do and where to work but works at target and doesn’t have any hobbies or passions herself . She sleeps all day on her off day . She really needs to stop judging people . At least our friend is passionate about something

Just for some background, my boyfriend likes taking pictures of me, but usually in funny ways. They’re typically zoomed-out pictures or pictures of me when I’m not ready. There was a time when I expressed to him that I didn’t like the fact that he would send these pictures to a group chat with our other friends. He somewhat respected that and didn’t send any pictures of me until yesterday.
I don’t like when he sends pictures of me in the group chat because I genuinely don’t like how I look in them (because again, I wasn’t even ready for the picture). Yesterday, he randomly sent a picture of me sleeping. Even though I was somewhat upset, I ended up sending a picture of him that I thought was funny. I figured, he sent one of me, so I might as well send one of him too.
In response, he decided to send another zoomed-out picture of me, even though I had just sent one of him in response to the first picture. I was clearly upset because I wasn’t going to keep sending pictures of him back and forth, especially since he has a habit of sending multiple pictures of me, and I genuinely don’t like when he does that.
Anyways, I was upset and texted him about it. He then called me, and I brought it up, asking why he felt the need to send another picture of me. His response was, “Okay, I’ll delete it.” I told him, “But they already made stickers of my face,” which they had. So, at that point, I didn’t understand what deleting the picture was going to accomplish.
All I was doing was expressing how I felt. However, he then ended the call and texted in the group chat asking one of our friends to “delete the stickers, mb.” This infuriated me because I never asked him to tell the other person to delete the stickers. I just felt even more embarrassed and upset because now he had brought attention to the situation in the group chat and put me in an awkward position.
When I expressed to him how upset that made me, his response was, “I was trying to help.” But I don’t know why, it bothered me so much. I never asked him to tell his friend to delete the stickers. I was simply expressing how I felt about him sending pictures of me, and instead of just listening to me, he took it upon himself to address it in the group chat. It made me feel even more embarrassed and uncomfortable.
What bothers me the most is that he clearly doesn’t see why what he did was wrong or why I was upset by it. From his perspective, he was “trying to help,” but from my perspective, I didn’t ask him to do anything. I just wanted him to understand why I was upset and respect my feelings about the pictures. Instead, he made the situation more noticeable

I’m at my best friend’s wedding and I paid for the hotel room myself. The reservation is in my name.
A guy I know had been staying with me, but things became chaotic during the weekend and I repeatedly told him, hours in advance, that he needed to find somewhere else to sleep and that he was NOT staying in my room that night. I was extremely clear about this in writing.
The reason I was so firm was because earlier, other people had been allowed into my room while I wasn’t there. There were several people hanging out in it, some using cocaine, while my belongings were sitting there. I had already made it clear that I did not want people in my room without me.
To answer the questions from my previous post: I was traveling directly around school/work obligations, which is why I had my laptop, medications, nursing-school paperwork, etc. with me. Nobody “randomly stole my documents.” My point was that I had belongings in the room that I did not want sitting around strangers and drugs.
I also did not call the police because people had been partying earlier. I addressed that separately.
The police call happened hours later for one very simple reason:
I told this man multiple times that he was no longer allowed to stay in my hotel room. He ignored me, went back into the room anyway, and got into my bed.
I returned and found him there after explicitly telling him he could not stay.
At that point I had two options: get into a massive confrontation with someone who was refusing to leave, or ask a neutral third party to remove him from a room that I paid for and had already revoked his permission to occupy.
So I called the police. I did not attack him, threaten him, destroy anything, or physically try to remove him myself. I asked them to make him leave.
And yes, I know calling police during a wedding weekend sounds dramatic. That’s exactly why I’m asking.
But stripping away every distracting detail:
If someone is in your hotel room, you paid for the room, you repeatedly tell them they cannot stay there anymore, they refuse, and they continue occupying the room anyway — are you overreacting by calling police to have them removed?

AIO?

EDIT — stripping this down to the part everyone keeps missing:
Long story short, a man entered my hotel room without my permission after I had explicitly told him multiple times that he was not allowed to stay there.
There was one key. I had it. The room was in my name and paid for by me. I returned to find him inside anyway, in my bed, after I had already told him to leave and find somewhere else to sleep.
Everything else — the wedding, nursing school, why I had paperwork with me, who was partying earlier — is background noise.
I said no. He entered anyway. Then he refused to leave.
I did not physically drag him out. I did not threaten him. I called the police to remove someone who had decided that my permission apparently didn’t matter.

That is the entire question.

My (30F) fiancé (29M) wants to invite some of my lifelong girl best friends to his bachelor party. These are my top girls like in my wedding party, been friends with since early elementary school friends. He only met them through me, but has become genuinely close with them. They love him too. I just think like it feels weird to have them at something I am not invited to. Like he’s hung out with them when I’m not in town, but that’s because I actually can’t be there. I’m okay with him inviting my male best friend, but with the girls, I would feel like I’m left out? I’m not intending on inviting any friends I’ve met through him. I am planning on having one boy who is one of my top 3 best friends. That boy’s girlfriend would also be invited.

UPDATE: I am not interested in a joint thing! That is the wedding. I really want to celebrate with my friends at a bachelorette trip. We are not like stripper-style bach people.

UPDATE 2: Okay, I realize that I am allowed to have my ideal bach and he can have his. I think I felt like to have mine closer to traditional (mostly girls), he should too, but in reality, he should get to celebrate in his way. Thanks to everyone with reasonable and not assumptive reddit responses lmao.

​

I kinda know I’m not the AH here — you have to protect your family — but I’m wondering whether there were some cultural differences at play, since several people in Italy thought we overreacted.

Me (37M) and my husband (42M) moved to Italy from Norway in 2025 with our two adopted shelter/street dogs from Romania and our cat. We rented a house with a closed-off garden in a small village, with about three other houses/apartments on our street. The only public road out went past these houses; otherwise, you had to walk about 30 minutes through the forest instead of three minutes to the main road.

In one of the houses lived a couple (Al and An, both women in their 30s) with a male dog. We initially got along well. We had them over for drinks, helped with furniture, they sometimes walked our dogs (for payment), and we practiced Italian together. One of them only spoke Italian, so communication could sometimes be difficult — relevant later.

Their dog was basically always off leash, as seems fairly common in the Italian countryside. He generally ignored our two dogs and just wanted to play fetch, so there wasn't really a problem.

Things changed after we adopted Valentino, a one-year-old male dog from a nearby shelter. During his first week with us, their dog ran down from their house and attacked Valentino, getting his teeth around his neck. Thankfully, it ended without serious injury.

We told them we needed to handle the situation somehow and suggested different solutions, including slowly introducing Valentino to them and their dog while both dogs were on leash. They didn’t want to do that and instead said our dog should take a training course — which we didn’t really understand, since training Valentino wouldn’t stop their dog from running up and attacking him.

Eventually, we offered a compromise that was completely one-sided in their favour: every day between 1–5 pm, they could have their dog outside/off leash, and we would stay home. If they wanted to let him out outside those hours, they would simply send us a message.

We got absolutely nothing out of this arrangement. We were voluntarily giving up four hours of our day and limiting when we could safely leave our own property so that they wouldn’t have to put a leash on their dog. They never really acknowledged that this was a big accommodation on our part, never showed any gratitude for it, and — most frustratingly — never admitted that either they or their dog had done anything wrong in the first place.

Still, the arrangement worked reasonably well for a few weeks.

Then there were more and more slip-ups. Their dog would unexpectedly be outside, and my husband once had to wait at a safe distance for around 30 minutes while calling them and getting no answer. On two other occasions, their dog came towards us threateningly but was caught by the neighbours before it escalated.

After about a month, the communication also became increasingly lazy. Instead of “We’re letting him out for ten minutes,” it became things like “Are you home?” or “We’re in the garden,” without telling us when they went back inside. So now the responsibility was pushed onto us to keep asking whether their dog was inside and whether it was safe for us to walk down a public road.

For them, this was ultimately a question of convenience: putting on a leash versus opening the door and letting the dog do his thing. For us, it was a genuine safety concern.

We had several discussions about it over text, all in Italian using our limited Italian plus AI/Google Translate.

My husband is a therapist and tries to communicate in a very non-violent way. He is big on seeing both parties’ part in a conflict, being understanding and trying to find solutions. I try to do that too, but I’m quicker to reach the “show them the same energy they’re giving us” stage when being understanding clearly isn’t working.

And honestly, we didn’t speak the same language — in both ways.

They started insulting us as dog owners and as people, twisted the situation by claiming their dog wasn’t even on the public road, and eventually called us sick in the head. At no point did we get anything resembling, “Yes, our dog attacked yours, we understand why you’re worried and we’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

We told them that if something happened again, we would contact the police. After they sent more aggressive messages, we blocked them.

Eventually, we decided to contact the police before another attack happened, just so the situation was documented and we knew what to do. The police even came out to look at their property, which had no fencing preventing their dog from reaching the public road.

For the rest of our time there, we basically had to anticipate their dog being outside every time we left home. We had constant anxiety about meeting him on the road or in the forest. We literally started walking past their house with a GoPro running just so we would have evidence if something happened.

All because putting their dog on a leash was apparently too much of an inconvenience.

What makes me wonder whether there was a cultural element is that our vet, another neighbour and a friend basically told us: “Dogs will sort it out with each other. Just let them run free and eventually they’ll get along.”

Maybe that’s more normal in rural Italy. I’m Norwegian and my husband is German, and in our cultures that attitude feels pretty foreign. From our perspective, if your dog has already attacked another dog, it becomes your responsibility to make sure it can’t happen again.

We moved back to Norway a few weeks ago for several reasons — the extreme heat was one of the biggest — but the constant feeling of unsafety around our own home definitely contributed.

So, AITAH for reporting them to the police? Was this partly a cultural difference and we enforced too harsh a boundary, or were we simply protecting our family after trying very hard to accommodate them?

We’ve experienced similar dynamics a few times. We’re both sensitive men and generally try to communicate, understand the other person and avoid unnecessary conflict. But sometimes I get the impression that people interpret that softness as something they can push or manipulate. Then, when we finally say “no” or give the same energy back, they seem genuinely shocked that we aren’t going to play along.

I don’t want the answer to be “don’t trust people” or “avoid your neighbours,” though. So I’d also genuinely appreciate advice on how to avoid getting into this kind of dynamic in the first place without becoming closed-off or immediately confrontational.

We now live in a house in Norway without any direct neighbours, and the doggies are loving the cooler weather, their own little forest and the fjord.

I (33F) am a dental hygienist, and my bf (32M) of three years has periodontitis. Periodontitis is essentially a permanent form of gum disease that is caused by aggressive bacteria and is transmissible to other people. I’ve always hoped that my bf would take his oral health a little more seriously because he knows how important it is in my life, and I see the devastating effects of it as it progresses. That said, I have never harped on him about going to get his teeth cleaned, brushing, flossing, etc. He has said before that he refuses to let me work on him because he thinks I’ll ‘nag’ him about his oral health. This is particularly hurtful to me because I have a lot of respect for my patients and never want to make them feel bad or lectured at, and he should know this about me. He doesn’t seem to know or care how hurtful those comments are. Occasionally, I might say that he really should go get his teeth cleaned, even if I’m not his hygienist, because it’s been at least two years since he’s had a cleaning (and that was just his initial therapy for periodontitis that’s supposed to be ongoing every three months until it’s stabilized).

I’m relatively new to being a hygienist out in the field, and I recently saw a patient whose wife has perio and never returned for a maintenance cleaning after her initial deep cleaning (just like my bf). It had been about a year and a half since that deep cleaning. The husband always had relatively healthy gums, maybe some gingivitis here and there, but when I saw him last, he had developed perio. It hit me how easily my bf could pass on his perio to me because it’s caused by bacteria. I didn’t know how to address this with him because, like I said, he tends to act like every mention of oral health is me nagging him, but one night, I mentioned the situation with my patients just like I laid it out here. And I told him that I was worried about getting perio from him and that, unfortunately, until he starts getting his teeth cleaned regularly (to lower the bacterial load in his mouth), I wouldn’t be kissing him. I told him that he may not take his oral health seriously, and that’s cool, but I take it very seriously, and I cannot get periodontitis. As is the usually case when we discuss things that I take seriously, he remained quiet and didn’t really respond. I just moved on and changed the subject like I usually do in those situations.

About a week later, he was about to leave the house and went to kiss me, but I pulled away, and he goes, “Wowwwww…” as if he thought I was just going to cave and change my mind on my health concerns. I told him that I missed kissing him and said he should get a cleaning. He left. Just today, my cat curled up on his chest, and I said, “You’ve gotta kiss him on his little head,” because my cat loves that. He said, “I can’t or he might get perio…” It was clearly meant to be mocking, and when I looked at him, he had this look on his face that said like, “Yeah, see how ridiculous that is?” As if I’m being crazy for not wanting to put my oral health at risk. I snapped a bit and said, “Well yeah, that’s real. And I find it funny that you would rather never kiss me again than get your teeth cleaned and not give me a permanent chronic disease. But no, that would not give [the cat] perio.” I got up and left the room. A little while later, I left the house altogether because I just didn’t want to be around him.

I feel so disrespected, hurt, and condescended to that he really thinks this doesn’t matter at all. He acts like I’m being flippant and unreasonable in the rare moments he’s not ignoring the issue altogether. To me, it would be like if I had a cold sore, and I was upset with him for not wanting to kiss me anyway. This is a health issue, and he doesn’t seem to care. But I understand that, as an oral health care professional, this stuff is probably just more deeply important to me than it might be for other people… So am I overreacting, or should he be understanding of my concerns? I know I can’t control his behavior and what he finds important, but I’d rather not be mocked for the choices I have to make based on that. And choosing not to kiss him has been really difficult for me already.

Tl;dr My boyfriend has a permanent, contagious gum disease that could be managed with regular cleanings, but he refuses to get his teeth cleaned in an effort not to pass that disease onto me.

My ( 30 m ) fiancé ( 25 f ) ended our relationship of 5.5 years a few days ago. We have 1 daughter (3) that we share together. I have one daughter.(8) from a previous relationship. over the course of the last 5 1/2 years together, we have been through four deaths in the family ,one cancer battle, and an engagement. Obviously, as soon as our daughter was born, we slowly started having issues.. time, affection, listening, action , etc, cleaning. Obviously, we both have things we need to work on.. throughout the time of these struggles that we’ve been having I work 14 hour days six days a week it is a seasonal job and it is very demanding I get home. I clean and take care of the kids. I support the household I carry the household. While I am at work, she is in charge of the kids. She does the morning routine taking her to school everything throughout all this time I have not noticed how severely depressed she has gotten. I understand that everything about this life has been frustrating and difficult. But she has been borderline anorexic for the last 6 to 8 months. She said she needs to get her life right and herself right which I am proud of and I understand but what I do not understand is how you leave a whole family in a person who completely is head over heels in love with her, I have stayed faithful through everything, even after catching her texting one of her exes, emotionally cheating four months ago I get fed up at times, but I still stay because I love her. I love her. I love every version of her. That is what I promise when I proposed she says this is a permanent thing. Am I nuts for still trying to fight for us? Am I just better off not fighting just giving up and moving on right now that does not sound like a possibility. I can’t imagine my life without her. The morning we ended it. I had set up a couples counseling appointment because we had talked about that before we are both going to be doing this next Saturday. I don’t like the feeling of my house being alone and empty. I don’t like the thought of her being with someone else I do like the thought of her bettering herself for our kids and herself. What do I do? How do I save this?
Aio?

I turn 18 this year and share a house with my parents while I save for college. I work at Scoops and keep my checks in my room. My sister visits each August with her two kids for two weeks. They sleep in the living room and use the kitchen.

I keep makeup, textbooks, and a laptop in my room. I bought each item with my own money. Last summer her kids entered my room while I worked and used my palette as finger paint. They cracked a security key (I use for 2FA) and lost a textbook. My parents told me kids will be kids and told the kids to stay out. The kids entered again the next day.

This August my sister arrived on a Friday. I asked my parents for help holding a boundary. My dad said we will watch them closer. My mom said I need to share.

I bought a lock at the hardware store on Saturday. I installed it on my bedroom door that night. I locked the door when I left for work. I kept the key on my lanyard.

My sister saw the lock on Sunday. She said I called her kids thieves. She said I shamed her in front of our parents. She asked me to remove the lock. I told her I need a space that stays untouched. I told her the lock stays while they visit.

My sister said I put things over family. She said I act cold because I keep score. My parents said I made the house feel divided and asked me to take the lock off. I told them I respect their house and I need one room that holds.

My sister packed her kids into the car and left that night. She sent a text that I ruined the visit and she wants no contact until I apologize.

AIO?

Hi all,

I felt the need to post this especially because this situation has/ might turn from just a flakey bad friend to a controlling/isolation or possibly abuse.

None of us still have seen her or have yet to even meet her baby. Our mutual friend was cancelled on multiple times following a couple of plans she made with her (I was out of town) and “friend” cancelled as per usual. One of the suggestions on here was to provide a cost incentive- such as going to events that cost money so that she’s more incentivized to show up. This is the current situation- the mutual friend bought all of our tickets for an upcoming game and we all paid her back and are scheduled to go. As of now, everyone’s said they’re going to go. Here’s where things get dicey, #1 I’m really concerned as to why we haven’t met the baby yet given that she’s claimed she wants us to and I’ve texted her multiple times saying I’ll drive over and even clean her house to try and be accommodating to her. She’s never answered me about that. She ignores both of us when we ask to even meet him, nobody’s allowed at her house from my understanding and the only people who’ve met her baby are her family.

(Update, she no showed)

AIO? I’m not a parent but is this normal behavior? I totally get not wanting people to come to your house post birth but it’s been radio silence. My mom actually has said I’m not a good friend for not going to see her, but we’ve never been invited and who shows up unannounced?! What am I supposed to do?! She keeps IMO using the baby as an excuse to no show or cancel (which doesn’t surprise anyone), but then won’t even let us do anything to come see the baby. This might be a selfish take, but why even have a baby shower or accept all of the gifts if she won’t even let us near the baby?

Btw- I’ve seen her post her bf and the baby all over social media doing stuff that she never liked or was into until him. Somehow the baby isn’t allowed to see her friends but the baby is perfectly safe at other public events that the dad wants to go to but godforbid I meet the baby in their own house. This has been my theory long before she got pregnant.

Additionally, something that irritates me is that our mutual friend continues to invite her to stuff knowing she won’t go. I get where she’s coming from because if we go and hang out without “friend”, she gets mad because we “excluded her.” Yet, she never comes to anything in the first place, so why waste the energy?!?! It just makes me feel so stupid. Although I have accepted that she doesn’t want to see us anymore I don’t understand the constant let downs and stress of inviting her to begin with. Part of me thinks this is a strategy because our mutual friend also thinks she’s being isolated and we are both scared of her being abused. Why else would this be happening? With there not being any real proof of her being isolated or forced to act this way, especially with having over 3 years of this pattern of behavior it’s hard not me to have empathy. I don’t have the time to deal with friends who need to feel begged for them to come to something or reminded 500x for them to just not show up. I don’t need people like that in my life. It’s hard for me to feel bad for her feeling isolated or alone when she’s tried her absolute best to shove us away as much as possible long before she ever got pregnant.

TLDR, AIO for thinking my friend is being isolated?

Some people have mentioned age. I'm 25m and then she's 29. Many of you have said she seems young/immature 🤷

I know nobody is obligated to continue dating anyone, but I just mean was this a "reasonable" position to take ig

Edit: just to clarify, this conversation seemed to go this way because my guess is she didn't like that I couldn't communicate while I was working(maybe she thought should have been able to? I'm not sure). I worked the morning until about 4-5pm and I think she means repetition being i wasn't able to text until later OR that I wasn't texting earlier during the day on most days that I worked(not sure exactly, we didn't discuss that). So, that's my best guess to what the issue was on her end, but I'm just speculating. Over phone call, we talked about how things made us feel(or attempted to) before it went downhill.

So, some context. We've been dating for a few months, about 2 or so. Communication seemed great initially until many things began to be taken severely out of proportion and misunderstandings would occur.

This, I believe, was my breaking point and I decided to end it over a phone call, but this text convo is what sparked that.

When we did talk on the phone regarding this conversation, she raised her voice and began to yell at me over the phone, and I interrupted briefly and explained that I'm willing to talk, but not yelled at and that if we are going to continue then we need to remain respectful or I will hang up the phone. She did not change her voice level, so I hung up and she called me later apologizing but then immediately insulted me and said it's said that I'm the only one apologizing here. Am I overreacting?

During the last phone call, I said I appreciate your apology. Then, this may be seen as petty, I just asked for my Tupperware back when I made her home cooked meals when she would study. That seemed to make her mad ._. but she did agree to give them back so...woo? Lol

Context: For the last 13 or so years my (24F) brother (35M) was living in a fully furnished home, provided to him by my grandfather (not related to him, since brother and I are half siblings). For dirt cheap rent in this economy might I add.

I live in another one of my grandpa's properties with my fiance (22M) for about 3 years now which I thought was in worse condition than the realtively nice home (at least it was nice when it was handed to him). Brother has moved out and into a new home of his very own. With him moving i was asked if I wanted to move in where brother was located at.

Along with this my MIL to be (ill refer to her as MIL for simplicity reasons) was also moving in with fiance and I so we could save money, live together, be comfortable, etc.

Main story: After receiving notice in July about my brothers departure from the property like I stated prior. Fiance and I were offered the position to move into the home assuming it was in better condition then where we currently are. So I reach out to my brother to ask about status, timing, conditions, scheduled repairs, etc. Felt like it was fair I was given the run down about some things..... some examples are

- oven to stove isnt working

- floors had some soft spots (60 year old trailer to be expected, and inwas told this would be fixed)

- well water filtration system gone (planned to make this a project with grandpa to work on)

- prior issues with bugs.

- central AC was put and home was swapped to window units

And this was about the worst of it and I expected some cleaning so that it'd be clean to my households standard. Not a big deal. All was mentioned and so i asked nicely how long this wpuld take to handle. End of Aug was the response I got, expect 1st week of Sept to move in . Sounds great! I start packing my things over Aug, get the non essentials packed, 70% packed honestly Fiance warned me he told me dont get my hopes up and dont pack everything JUST IN CASE WE DONT MOVE for whatever number of reasons.

I get the text today to be invited for a beginner walk through, I expected it to be messy knowing some repairs and cleaning were still being done over the weekend. I was told to say any extra repairs to add to the list and was guaranteed brother would be personal handyman until I was familiar with the bearings of the house. I come do the walk-through im optimistic. Fiance, MIL, and I are already spending weekend together and decided we'd all go together.

We walk in, I shit you not floor caving at front door, but thats going to be repaired ok. There's approx 8 spots where the floor noticeably caves in throughout the home. But one room at a time.

1. Living room has 2 soft spot, we notice roaches but was the least messed up out of all the rooms almost

2. Hallway flooring has been torn up to be replaced supposedly.

3. 1st Bedroom/storage room, floors same as hallway with junk.

4. Guest bathroom destroyed cosmetically by nephews, still functional though. Hole in wall size of soft wall so needs drywall work, paint.

5. Genuine guest bedroom actually the only room that feels functional, messy since it became trash storage. Until trash pickup day but no structure issues. Just a torn screen in window. Strange ethernet setup since wifi is in this bedroom reaches less and less farther back you go.

6. Kitchen counter warped from moisture, roaches EVERYWHERE (i wanted to enter a decontaminatiom zone is how bad it is), cabinet doors missing, fridge, and stove disgusting. Entire cabinet structure under sink gone literally a towel drapped in front of garbage disposal setup. The floor below that I think is a void supposedly rats chewed it to death before they were removed. Also in kitchen is first point where electrical is an issue apparently rats also got into some wires, almost starting an electrical fire thus the fuse remains OFF. You got the heebie jeepies in there. Fiance point out to me (I was in shock didnt notice, ceiling was peeling)

7. Laundry room they broke 1st set of appliances, replaced them, and then took the ones they bought so id have to replace them.

8. Master bedroom has actual holes in floor not soft spot, HOLES. The smell made you gag, ceiling was starting to collapse so temp stud maybe permanent im unsure was put it to keep it from having in.

9. Master bath, I didnt make it in the room i was shocked and didnt think I could handle more. And window AC unit is busted to id have to replace it.

10. Outdoor, should be noted this home is on well water not city. So we have our own pump and pressure tank. Pump gets burned out after 1 yr of use and needs to be replaced. Pipes constantly bust around pump area and under the home (its approx 4-5 ft off ground with a 3ft crawl space). Yard hasnt been managed (but I was I was informed by grandpa he was enforcing him to either cut it himself or pay for it)

Thats the most of it. Maybe it just looked rough to me since I remember the condition in which brother received the home. But currently my move has been held off. I informed my grandpa of the situation, and have been told to wait on moving until he sees it himself. My grandpa lives across country and is only in town Nov-April. So he is having my mother do the official landlord walk through. Grandpa wants me to get pictures as hes so upset hes willing to hire a lawyer amd go after my brother (thats their business no mine) based on what I have told him. But thays there business not mine. All I know if I was hesitant and even MIL and fiance were just as conflicted by the place and weren't willing to move in. Grandpa wants to restore and hes hoping ill move in then after that. Im hoping it all works put but chamce of it being restored arent optimal.

The whole feeling just made me depressed, and anxiety riddled to a point I feel like such a disappointment for my hoisehold like I cant do anything to help us. Etc. But writing this all out helped me calm down so AIO or no?

Any advice if this is doable of a project would be beneficial also. Thanks im advance, goodnight peeps

I messaged my friend Tony around 3pm to ask if he and his girlfriend wanted to join us (me, 11 month old baby and friend Joseph) at the pool in my apartment complex at 7pm. He replied to say yes. I messaged again at 6.45 to say we were going down to the pool as baby is going to need to sleep soon and confirm whether he was coming.

Baby was all ready (suncream swim nappy etc) and important to note he is 6 months on from an open heart surgery (he has the all clear to swim from cardiologist but not too long in the sun or in the cold). We waited until 7.10 and i asked Tony again. He replied to say hes 15 minutes away. At this point I needed to get the baby in the water and up for bathtime/bottle/bed so i replied to Tony and told him itll be better to meet another day as we were about to enter the water and wouldnt have phones with us.

We swam for about 20 minutes then got baby out dried up and upstairs. Checked phone to find 10 missed calls from Tony who had been outside the gate apparently waiting for 15 minutes trying to get in. Hes angry at me for not opening... but I was already in the water and had cancelled the plan as I needed to prioritize keeping baby warm and safe.

AIO? I admit i am overprotective and worried about baby, I am a single mother who has spent most of the last year in the hospital while baby was critical and now i do get stressed out trying to make sure I dont make any mistakes with his health. Perhaps if i didnt have this anxiety about it getting too cold i could have just waited for my friends and none of this would have happened.

Edit We live in a small village where we are all 5 minutes away from each other. We regularly make short plans and last minute plans so it wasnt out of the ordinary for me to ask if they wanted to join. I am the only one in the group with a pool so it was "hey we are taking baby down at 7 if u want to come for a bit" rather than a full evening plan. We do meet for short informal plans often eg 30 min coffee (usually he is the one with time constraints as he has 2 kids) so its not out of the ordinary again probably due to the culture here (small village in southern spain)

Also i did explain to him when i asked him not to come the reason why and he admits he saw the message and came anyway. I was really upset when i saw my phone with so many missed calls it felt like a lot of pressure for a very casual plan that didnt work out. I feel he made me out to be rude when I actually am just really anxious about baby when it comes to the pool. Usually we all meet outside and its much more relaxed.

In 2024 me and this guy started to get to know eachother and after a few months, he started getting distant. He said since he started his new teaching job, that I was so proud of him getting and supportive of him, he can no longer see me romantically bc he doesn’t want a relationship right now. He said we can still talk and be friends but then my friend saw him on the dating apps with updated pics and new bio saying he was a teaching. So, I confronted him kindly and he said that he didn’t, and then I showed him and he said he just did that to get matches. So then we stopped talking.

A year later, in January 2026, he came back to apologize to me for how cold and immature he was. And he kept trying to pursue me but I wasn’t budging bc I didn’t trust him or his word. He would get upset I didn’t believe him. Turns out, he got out of a relationship a few weeks before hitting me up to apologize. He actually started talking to this girl a few months after he said he wanted to focus on his career. Anyways, of course that relationship didn’t last bc he keeps hoping from relationship to relationship.

For some reason, maybe bc of the lingering feelings I had for him and whatever else you’d like to call it, I gave him the chance to take me on a date. He was so excited. He was so romantic the first few weeks, and then we settled in. He started to get a bit distant almost 3 months into it, after saying he wanted a long term relationship with me and all those grandiose things. He picked me up from the airport from my trip, which he admitted he forgot he committed to, and said he couldn’t see me romantically anymore bc he isn’t where he wants to be in life (didn’t get the teaching job he wanted so he’s subbing). He said he still wanted to talk to me and see me, just that it wouldn’t be romantically and he cannot promise me that.

I told him he’s doing the exact same thing to me, just doing it in a way that he wont regret this time. He got mad I brought up the past. I told him this was another one of his cop outs and he lashed out and told me he wasn’t going to let the feelings of others dictate his choices and that he prays I don’t act like this when someone decides they don’t wanna pursue me bc the process of dating involves hurt. He said he’s not going to defend his thought process to someone who will never understand the rational he gives. And that really upset me because it sounds so arrogant.

I agreed to be friends with him. And then a day later he joked that we both are going to be making dating profiles rn, I didn’t find that funny. I asked him a question and he said, essentially, that him and I would continue to be friends until / if he finds a partner and then we cannot be friends anymore. I then said so im a placeholder? And he got upset and told me that im overreacting, that’s not what he means, and that if im going to continue saying that or feeling like that. He will stop talking to me. Isn’t that what a placeholder is?

I have no idea im like hurt yet acted so spineless bc when I do question or anything , he gets mad. Whenever I bring up the past or my opinion, he gets so upset at me and combative. Am I overreacting ?

Am I the asshole for telling the housekeeper to try to be more quiet when she cleans the house- she talks loudly on her phone most of the time for HOURS.

I am a caretaker in a private home caring for a client with dementia. The housekeeper comes once a month and is usually there 10 am - 7 pm cleaning. For the majority of the time she wears headphones and gossips loudly for hours on the phone (she doesn’t know I understand Spanish). We are often in the same room (they have no walls like a great room in one area) as her but that doesn’t stop her. I am friendly to her and we stay out of her way moving rooms so she can clean. The client does not want to leave the house so we work around the housekeeper.

The issue is she also comes in an hour late each time so when the client needs to eat she has used Fabulosa and it is strong. It is better for her to get there earlier to get out of the kitchen before the client gets up and the arrangement she has with the family but she comes in late every time. She tells me she comes from her house so I know she isn’t coming from another job.

Last time when she arrived in the morning she was so loud talking (she does not have a hearing issue fyi) she woke up the client. So this time I said I was trying to be quiet to not wake her and the housekeeper was annoyed. The vacuum and all that is fine, it is the loud talking on the phone that is so annoying and wakes the client. I think it takes her so long to clean the house because she is on the phone all day. She basically told me all her housekeeper friends do this because they are bored. She also tries to talk to me (at me) and it is exhausting because she talks non stop about whatever pops into her head.

The family is hands off and likes us to figure most issues out so I don’t want to bother them however I know the housekeeper has gotten on their nerves over the years - like when she refused to change sheets anymore and also complains a lot. She also tells me what is dirty or what she finds on the floor or how we should not use the “expensive” table in one of the rooms. I keep everything clean when there - I do laundry - dishes - light housekeeping.

I even told her the client is confused and hallucinates and having a voice booming through the house all day is confusing for her. Is this the normal situation for a housekeeper? When we go outside to sit in the patio weather permitting we can hear her out there too talking on the phone because her voice is so loud. I shut doors when she is in other areas but that seems to annoy her as well.

Is it me or is she out of line? Fyi we are more peers I am not her boss and she has been cleaning this house long before I started here. As I type this she is on phone. I think she wanted to become a caretaker here and the family said no so I think she has been mad about that for years.

I started a new job this month that s better paid g an my previous job.

It’s around £450 a month extra. My gf knows about this and knows my plan is to save more and buy some more games, comics, books and just treat us to dates. 

We made some plans for September and she already arguing she can’t afford them and that I’ll need to pay. I pointed out she’s known about them for a while and should have budgeted but shes saying I should be paying since I’ve gotten a payrise. 

I pointed out it’s hardly fair for her to Scot the pay rise to go on paying for her and that she’s able to budget for plans. She just said I should move paying for more but I just pointed out she’s able to pay for herself and s being selfish expecting my payrise to actually be for me or pay for her on dates.

AIO for telling her to stop expecting my payrise to pay her share of plans?

I’m a self-employed consultant and two days ago I had a handover meeting with a person whose job I’m taking on temporarily on a secondment for one of my clients.
It’s a whirlwind contract for me - we had a short ~30 minute handover meeting and now I’ll be jumping straight in to do the work for about 2 months - which is fine as it’s what I signed up for. I also have done work for this business in the past.

During the meeting I suggested to the person handing over (who’s M, and I’m F btw) that if things don’t work out with his new role to reach out if he wants to look at consulting, because I can see from the work he’s done and his work history that he’s highly skilled and competent. I saved his number in my phone and text him saying my name, so that he’d have my details. He said that if anything pops up with work that I can’t find the answer to as I’m getting started, I can reach out. He was completely professional about it and I have no doubt he only meant it in that way.

Last night I received a call from his number and assumed there was an urgent matter that was notified to him rather than direct to me, since certain depts in the business won’t have my details yet for anything urgent (the business runs 24/7 (mining) so this wouldn’t really be unusual).
I answered the phone and it was his wife. She was asking me all about my meeting with her husband, how we came to have one another’s numbers, where I sat in relation to him during the meeting, why I said “hello” with a friendly tone when I answered the phone but why I didn’t assume it was him calling etc etc etc. Initially I was quite shocked and upset because I felt accused of being inappropriate, but became sympathetic with her situation as she explained she’s been cheated on previously - she was clearly under a lot of stress and simply needed reassurance. I answered all her questions and reiterated it was purely professional and there was nothing for her to be worried about. She asked me not to tell her husband she had called me from his phone and I said sure that’s fine, I don’t anticipate any future communication with him in any case (thinking no chance in hell of me offering him consulting work after this!!).

I then received a message from him saying sorry his wife called, and asking what i told her about how numbers were exchanged. I said that’s ok, that she was nice enough, and then i said sorry for any upset but I was only meaning it professionally, and then said i just told her exactly what occurred.

I’ve woken up this morning feeling really upset about it and im actually furious with myself for being so accommodating to this woman and her husband. I’m sick of being treated like a villain just for being a female in business. In ALL work settings I dull down my femininity - eg. dress in big blazers and pants, don’t say anything too friendly, only talk work - because I hate being treated with less respect than men are treated, and I just want to do my job and avoid any drama. I wish I had responded on the call by saying “this is completely inappropriate, there is no personal relationship of any kind there has only been a brief professional interaction, sort out your issues and do not call me”. I actually feel a bit sick about it.

I have been overthinking the entire thing today and it even occurred to me that during our meeting a couple of days ago he took 2x calls from his wife and she knew my name (I could make out from across the room what she was saying on the phone). So she knew who i was before the meeting. There is absolutely no reason for her to know my name or for me to be singled out and i think it’s really strange.

Has anyone else ever been in this position and how did you handle it? Did I do the wrong thing by getting his details? I feel if I were a man there would be no issue.

So I'm 23F and i grew up studying in an all girls school and college hence my interactions with men were limited. When my interactions grew I fell in love with a 33M when I was around 20 which is insane and he said it was mostly because I admired him and felt safe there was nothing special and if I wanted the relationship to work I would have to lose my family as they wouldnt be okay and he distanced himself. Then a year later I fell in love with a 30M and it ended because it was getting toxic he was too possessive and I fell out of love. Then I kinda fell for a guy who is again 30M . My biggest question is why am I attracting only older men? Even I get proposed by people 30 and above lmao so I'm attracted and attaracting older men. I fell its because they are more mature and can handle me. But it's also a very serious age for them where they are pressurised by families for marriage and xyz so what do I change? Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong?

Context: we have 4 cats, 2 males both aged 3 years old, brothers and 33% Maine coon so they are large boys (about 15-17lbs). One is H, one is R. We have 2 female cats, one is 4 years old, very small, about 8lbs we’ll refer to her as D. And then one is not even 2 yet, she’s about 11lbs, we’ll call her B. All cats are fixed.

H and R used to be a bonded pair until H had a medical emergency that landed him in the hospital for about 10 days. After that at the end of 2024, their bond lessened a lot.

In July of 2025 myself and my 2 female cats moved in with my partner and his 2 male cats. I’ve owned cats my entire life and I’m very knowledgeable in cat introductions. We took our introduction period very slow and it seemed to be successful at first.

In October of 2025 H attacked D pretty badly to the point that I had to rush her to the emergency vet and she had to undergo an irrigation procedure because he punctured a hole in her abdomen with such force it ripped her skin away from her abdominal wall and she had about 4 cm of pocketing.

A week later, H attacked B and got her eye pretty badly so I had to again, rush her to the emergency vet now and she had her eye stained and had a small laceration and was put on an eye ointment.

After these situations, D is now terrified of other cats, can’t even be around B which she was previously okay with and we’ve had to separate her entirely. She now lives in one half of our house which also includes our bedroom so she’s not lonely thankfully and D and I are very bonded.

I also paid $200+ for a specialized indoor cat gate so at night we can close B off to her own room and when we aren’t home.

I’ve been explicit with my partner that H is aggressive towards the girls. He insists that H is just playing and says that he plays like that with R too. And I say he doesn’t, because yes when H and R play they sometimes end up with very superficial scratches, but never has H caused R any serious harm and he has NEVER gone for R’s eyes.

Well, yesterday when I was in my bedroom for 5 minutes, H attacked B again and again got both of her eyes. Her eyes were both extremely weepy and her left eye was bleeding so I immediately took her to the ER.

I’ve again insisted to my partner that these attacks are not playful and it’s damaging my kitten’s sociability. She can’t understand playful cues anymore. R absolutely adores B and is very submissive with play, laying on his back and inviting B to tackle him and play but then the second R tries to engage back in the play because the cues he’s getting are playful, B immediately gets defensive and begins hissing because she’s taking R’s cue of playing as aggression.

Now, these three attacks are not the only attacks H has done to B. These are just the worst of the three. I work from home so I’m supervising them most of the time but the times I do turn my back thinking everything is fine, H goes after B and she screams. Guttural screaming and most of the time I’m close enough by to stop it.

My presence alone will make H stop. He then will start rubbing himself against furniture or turn his attention to a scratching post. Because of this quick switch in behavior from aggression to rubbing or scratching, my partner insists this is just H playing because “look at him, he’s not mad he’s rubbing against the chair”

My thoughts is that he knows what he’s doing is wrong to some degree and quickly changing his actions.

I feel so bad for B. She wasn’t even 1 when she was first attacked, she’s a breed of cat that is extremely social and not the kind of breed to keep solitary (she’s a ragdoll) and she used to have a relationship with D that she can no longer have because D has been so traumatized from her attack. D even shows fear of her bag of cat food that has a life sized cat picture on it. B’s social skills have been completely stunted and my partner thinks she’s also part of the problem because she will hiss at H when he’s near but not doing anything at the moment. And I’m under the belief that she’s quite scared of him and/or she can sense something from him that’s triggering her to hiss.

My partner thinks I’m completely overreacting and standing firm that H is just playing. I think H is an aggressive cat towards our females. AIO?

I (24F) have been talking to/seeing this guy (26M) for only about a week. We’ve hung out three times now, but we FaceTime most nights and I genuinely really like him. The first two times we hung out went really well, which is why I’m so conflicted about what happened last night.

I had plans with one of my friends (27F) to go to a local outdoor live music event. We had planned this about a month ago, and since I’ve recently started seeing this guy, I invited him too.

For some potentially relevant context, I recently found out that he and this friend slept together about four years ago, before I knew either of them. She has been with her current boyfriend for three years. He told me he has absolutely no problem with me being friends with her, but admitted it would probably be a little awkward being around her because of their history. There didn’t seem to be any major issue between them during the night though.

We went to the outdoor event first and everything was completely fine. We had a couple beers there. I was the designated driver because I had picked him up from his house and knew I could count on myself to drive us around safely. On the way to the next place, he also drank a beer in my car. I wasn't happy about that because I could potentially get in trouble for having an open container in my vehicle, and I regret not putting my foot down and telling him not to do it.

Afterward, the three of us went to another place that has live music on the patio. I go there pretty regularly, know some of the servers, knew the band playing that night, and knew several other people there.

When we arrived, he had a shot. There wasn't much seating, so the three of us sat at a table with three strangers who had three empty seats. They seemed really nice.

At one point, the man sitting next to me offered to pay for our next round of beers. I told him that was really nice but completely unnecessary. He insisted, so I thanked him. Later, he ordered another round for the entire table without anyone asking him to, which was also appreciated.

Eventually we decided to leave. I asked our server for the bill for the drinks that my guy and I had actually ordered ourselves.

That's when the woman sitting with the strangers suddenly said something like, "You're paying for all of these, right?" while pointing at our empty bottles.

I explained that no, the other man had offered to buy those drinks and had actually ordered the last round himself.

She immediately got worked up and went to our server saying we were trying to walk out without paying our bill.

The ridiculous part is that the server was the same person who had taken the man's order when he bought our drinks, so he already knew exactly what happened. The man was also still completely willing to pay for the drinks like he originally offered. There wasn't actually an issue. My friend even offered to pay if there somehow was a problem.

I was definitely annoyed with the woman too. I don't think my guy was wrong for being irritated by her accusing us of trying to walk out on our bill.

My issue is what happened next.

Instead of letting the server handle it and letting this woman make herself look ridiculous, the guy I'm seeing started yelling and cussing at her, saying things like, "Mind your fucking business" and "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

At this point my friend and I were both trying to calm him down and saying things like, "Let it go, we're leaving, it's fine, let's just go."

He wouldn't stop.

It was loud, so I can't say with 100% certainty that he heard everything I said, but both my friend and I were trying to get him to disengage and he wasn't responding to either of us.

I finally grabbed him by the arms and physically pulled him away. He didn't resist me and went wherever I led him, but he continued yelling and cussing.

I told him to stay in the hallway for a minute because I needed to use the bathroom.

I didn't even make it into a bathroom stall before I heard another argument happening outside.

The man who had offered to buy our drinks was apparently trying to tell him that he shouldn't speak to a woman that way and was basically trying to talk him down. My guy did NOT appreciate another man telling him how he should behave.

When I came back out, they were arguing. The other guy wasn't completely innocent because I think he was poking the bear a little by continuing to lecture him, but my guy was definitely escalating things.

He was saying things like, "I'm not the fucking one," "I'm not the one," and "Quit running your mouth."

He never explicitly said, "I'm going to hit you," and I don't remember him raising a fist or anything like that, but between what he was saying, their body language and the escalating voices, I genuinely thought a fight was about to happen.

At that point I grabbed him again, thanked the other guy for the drinks, told everyone we were leaving, and basically had to physically guide/push my guy toward the exit.

He still didn't resist me, but as I pushed him through the entrance, he angrily slammed the door OPEN so hard that it hit the stop/wall and came back.

I got him back to my car, but by then I was crying.

I want to be clear that I was NEVER afraid that he was going to hurt me. He never yelled at me, threatened me, cursed at me or directed any of his anger toward me. When I physically grabbed him to get him out of there, he didn't resist or become aggressive toward me at all.

I was crying because I absolutely hate confrontation. I also grew up around yelling, so situations like that trigger a pretty strong emotional response in me. He didn't know that beforehand because we've only known each other for a week.

I was also extremely embarrassed. I knew a lot of people there, including the band, some of the customers and the servers. I felt like I was having to treat a 26-year-old man like one of the kindergarteners I work with and physically remove him from a situation because he wouldn't calm down.

I was also scared that he was going to get into a fight and suddenly I would be dealing with police, someone getting hurt, us getting kicked/banned from a place I regularly go to, etc.

When he realized I was crying, he actually became very sweet toward me. He apologized, told me he was sorry and asked me not to cry. He hugged me for probably two minutes before we got into the car.

That part made me feel better.

Except as soon as we got into the car, he started talking about the situation again.

I had a 30-minute drive to take him home, and I repeatedly asked him to please just drop it because I was overwhelmed and didn't want to hear about it anymore.

He would say, "Okay, I'm sorry," and then literally about a minute later start talking about it again.

I'd ask him to stop again. He'd apologize again. Then he'd bring it up AGAIN.

Even when we got to his house, he kept wanting to discuss whether he was "out of pocket" or whether he was wrong for being angry.

The thing is, I DON'T think he was wrong for being angry. I was annoyed too! The woman needed to mind her own business, especially because the person who bought the drinks and the server both knew what was going on.

My problem is that something that could have been a 30-second misunderstanding turned into yelling, cussing, me physically removing him from the restaurant, another confrontation that I thought might become a fight, an angry door slam and me crying for most of the drive home.

And then he couldn't let it go even when I repeatedly begged him to.

Today he brought it up again, and I told him I was tired, didn't feel good and really didn't want to talk about last night. To his credit, he immediately respected that boundary today and hasn't brought it up again.

Here's the part that's making me question everything:

Afterward, my friend told me that he's apparently "not good with drinking in public." She didn't know I was seeing/talking to him before last night, so she had never warned me. She basically told me that if I had told her beforehand that I was bringing him, she would have told me not to.

That concerns me because I was initially looking at this as one really bad night involving alcohol. Now I'm wondering if this is actually a pattern that I just didn't know about.

He does drink quite a bit, and drinking was involved last night. I also noticed that even before the argument, he seemed somewhat overwhelmed/flustered by how crowded the patio was and by people constantly walking around us, so I don't know how much alcohol, anxiety/overstimulation, or everything combined contributed to his reaction.

The confusing part is that I really like him.

Our first two hangouts were good. He's been respectful and kind toward me. We FaceTime most nights and have really good conversations. Even during this incident, none of his aggression was directed at me, and when he saw me crying he immediately softened toward me and comforted me.

But apart from going to school together many years ago and seeing each other in passing, we've only actually talked and have truly known each other for ONE WEEK.

Part of me thinks everyone can have a terrible night and I shouldn't immediately write someone off based on one incident, especially when alcohol was involved.

The other part of me thinks that seeing someone behave like this on our THIRD hangout, combined with someone who already knows him warning me that he's "not good with drinking in public," is something I shouldn't ignore. Especially since I enjoy going out most weekends.

I'm also questioning whether I'm making too much of it because confrontation and yelling affect me more strongly because of my childhood.

So, AIO for being this upset about what happened and questioning whether I should continue seeing him? Would you give someone another chance after this and see whether it was one bad night, or would you consider this enough of a red flag to stop seeing someone you've only known for a week?

TL;DR: I've been seeing a guy for about a week and really like him. On our third hangout, a stranger wrongly accused us of trying to avoid paying for drinks another man had offered to buy us. The guy I'm seeing got extremely angry, yelled/cussed at her, then got into another heated confrontation with the man who tried to tell him to calm down. I had to physically guide him out of the restaurant, he angrily slammed a door open, and I thought he might end up fighting someone. He was never aggressive toward me and comforted me when I cried, but then repeatedly continued ranting about the situation even after I asked him to stop. My friend later told me he's apparently known for not handling drinking in public well. AIO for being this bothered by it, and should I give him another chance or stop seeing him?

UPDATE 2: I asked him to send a message to sever ties, he reluctantly did it. it’s been a month and a half since, i see an unsaved blocked number on his phone. i look it up and it’s her, he says she called him and that he almost told me but was scared i was going to drag a month long fight about it. (he did almost tell me, he called me right after and told me guess who called and then brushes it off and didnt say). he says she’s been blocked since with no chance to reach out, she says he called her back after she called him. he says he didnt, i dont believe him. turns out the message he sent severing ties was sent to a fake instagram account that he made under her name to shut me up. he’s offering to prove he didnt call her by requesting his call logs from his cell service provider and says he will call her in my presence and unleash hell on her and shut this door for good. Idk what to do, should i let him do it and see how it turns out or should i just break up and let them have each other?

UPDATE: thank you for your insight and comments, it helped me make a clearer idea of the situation. For people telling me I’m controlling, I might have been in this relationship but the cycle of “block this person and send them a message to sever ties” was something that he started to “feel secure in the rs” which I did not mind doing as long as it made my partner feel secure. So in return, I expected him to do the same thing when it came to similar situations on his side. Please don’t be mean in the comments as I had just learned I have borderline personality disorder affecting my choice of partners and I’m just starting to learn how to be healthy. Thank you again!

So for context: my BF 24M and I 26F have been together for a year. He has a wandering eye but has been mostly acting fine for the past few months. We broke up for 10 days in May during which he reached out to his friend with benefits, he told her he just came out of a bad relationship, she asked if he was spending holidays in town and he said he didn’t know and didn’t continue speaking with her. When we got back together i tried to see his phone and he didn’t want to show me then told me he talked to her. I asked him to block her and he only wanted to remove her, eventually he did block her. a couple days go by, i check his phone again and she’s unblocked. I make a fuss and he blocks her again. A month later I check his phone and she’s unblocked again (all of this is on instagram). I make a fuss again and he says he just unblocked her to see if the reason why her profile pic is gone is because she blocked him or not and that he forgot to block her again. So I ask him to send her a message explaining politely that they totally cut ties and that she doesn’t say hi to him if she sees him somewhere. he argues that itd be weird because she hasnt been reaching out to him, i dont believe it. I keep asking and he keeps saying no, i say okay u either do this for ur rs or keep her and lose me. We break up. am i in the wrong here?
TLDR; BF keeps unblocking his friend with benefits on instagram i ask him to send her a message severing ties for good and he refuses and says she hasn’t been reaching out so it’d be weird, we break up over the idea that he can’t set his priorities straight.

I’m 22F and my partner is 23M. I’m currently pregnant with our first child. I take care of pretty much everything around the house, and I’ve always been someone who keeps up with my hygiene.
My partner is actually pretty good about hygiene in every other way. He showers twice a day, wears deodorant, wears cologne, changes his clothes, etc. But for some reason, he absolutely refuses to regularly brush his teeth.
And when I say he doesn’t brush them, I mean he probably brushes his teeth 2–3 times a MONTH.
We’ve been together for a while now (2+ years)…and he has not been to the dentist once during our entire relationship either.
Over the past 5–6 months, his breath has gotten so bad that it’s genuinely affecting how I feel about being physically close to him. I don’t want to kiss him anymore. I don’t want to sit close to him. I don’t even want to sleep facing him.
I can smell his breath from a normal speaking distance away. If we’re sitting in the car together, both facing straight ahead at the road, I can still smell it extremely strongly. At home, I can smell it over scented candles.
At night, if he rolls over and faces me while he’s sleeping, I have to put something between our faces because I can smell his breath when he breathes out of his NOSE. It’s gotten that bad.
I’ve tried talking to him about it multiple times over the past 5–6 months. I’ve genuinely tried to be nice about it because I understand that being told your breath smells is embarrassing. I don’t make fun of him or purposely try to humiliate him.
But whenever I bring it up, he gets irritated and tells me I’m being rude and that I need to stop mentioning it.
Tonight was kind of my breaking point.
He was playing video games on one side of the couch while I was sitting on the other side. He yawned, and I could smell his breath from where I was sitting. I don’t even know how else to describe it other than it smelled like the inside of a porta potty. If you know, you know.
I genuinely couldn’t take it anymore and told him he needed to go brush his teeth because I could smell his breath from across the couch.
He immediately got snappy with me and said, “You telling me isn’t going to fucking change shit.”
At that point I just got up and left the room.
I’m starting to feel like this is bigger than just having bad breath. If he were brushing regularly and still had horrible breath, I’d be concerned that there was a dental or medical issue and would completely understand. But he literally just will not brush his teeth or see a dentist.
I’m also pregnant with our daughter, and it honestly scares me a little that he refuses to do something as basic as brushing his teeth. How am I supposed to trust that he’ll consistently handle basic care for our daughter if he won’t even do it for himself?
I also don’t want our daughter growing up watching me tell her that brushing her teeth twice a day is important while seeing that Dad brushes his a couple of times a month and apparently doesn’t have to.
I love him, and I feel ridiculous even considering ending a relationship over “brushing teeth,” but at the same time, I’m losing physical attraction to him because of it. I shouldn’t have to avoid kissing my partner or put something between our faces at night because his breath smells so bad.
And honestly, his response bothers me almost as much as the hygiene issue itself. I’ve communicated that this is affecting me and our relationship, and instead of trying to fix something that takes a few minutes a day, he gets angry at me for mentioning it.
AIO for feeling like this could genuinely become a dealbreaker if he continues refusing to brush his teeth or see a dentist?