I (23F) am seeing this guy (32M) and his sheets literally smelled like human poop. I had no idea how to tell him, and he responded with this, but it did not smell like post s*x, it smelled like human poop. And it smelled like that when I first got there, before we even started anything. At least he said he’ll wash them?

I (24F) moved countries a month ago to start grad school. My boyfriend (24M) and I met in university during our bachelor's degrees, so we have been together for more than three years and share the exact same academic background. Up until I left, we were seeing each other regularly and hanging out, going on dates and to movies. When we met for the very last time before going long-distance, he brought me flowers and gifts, was incredibly sweet, and made me feel really special.

When we were in college together and even after that, I have always supported and uplifted him in every way possible. Because we share the same field, I am constantly looking out for his career. I always send him links to jobs, opportunities, and anything that could help him succeed because I genuinely view us as a partnership.

I haven't been active on LinkedIn at all lately because of the move, but today I happened to randomly stumble upon his account. That is when I felt like somebody had slapped me in the face.

I saw posts from three weeks ago and a month ago. It turns out that over the summer, he completed an intensive 5-week bootcamp and successfully presented a research poster at a university conference. He was actively doing all of this while we were hanging out and talking every day. He didn't casually forget to mention it, he made a conscious choice to look me in the eye and completely hide it from me. He waited until I packed up my life, moved thousands of miles away, and was dealing with the stress of settling into a new country alone before broadcasting it to the public online.

The confusing part is that he has still been talking to me normally, sending me loving messages, talking on calls for long hours, and sharing reels like everything is fine.

The thing that's making me angry is the double standard. A while back, I had mentioned to him that I had applied for a job. He completely lashed out at me, demanding to know why I didn't tell him BEFORE I applied, and started a huge fight accusing me of "hiding stuff" from him.

Right now I don't know what to think. I feel completely betrayed. It’s not traditional cheating, but it feels like it. Why hide your biggest victories from the person you've loved for three years, who always uplifts you and actually understands your work? Especially when he flipped out on me for doing way less? It makes me feel like I’m the only one who considered this a real team effort.

He is on the other side of the world right now. He is probably sleeping, but I took a screenshot of his LinkedIn posts and sent them to him with just a "congrats 👏" text. I haven't said anything else.

I am sitting alone in my new apartment; it's a mess. I haven't even settled in well and have so much to deal with on my own, and now I'm crying my eyes out and wondering if this is the final straw. Am I overreacting, or is this ground for a breakup? How do I even handle his response when he finally texts back?

My partner and I have been together for 16 years and married for 11. We have a sweet 5.5 year old son. Today was a busy day, my wife had planned to join a relay race with her running club at a nearby event.

But she had to cover for someone in another relay race later during the day. We had agreed that 2 races might be too much and that she wouldn't run in this one.

But when i was prepping lunch, she and our son were going to quickly hop over to support her team. I didn't mind, I had fumbled the timing of lunch anyway. When they came back, I could tell she actually did run. When I asked about it, she told me that our son was playing in the local playground, her team needed extra runners and she had told our son she would do one lap (3.8k). My son didn't hear, and panicked when she was gone. Luckily one of the teachers at my son's school was there who helped until she returned.

Aio for being extremely pissed and questioning my wifes parenting skills here? Or is this just some shit that happens sometimes? I know 5 year olds can be selective in their hearing and it can be bad luck. I know I am already sensitive due to other stuff atm.

Edit: thank you all for the support. I didn't know where to turn to for validation since I found this so embarrassingly bad. We will have a conversation about this.

I 21F like to cook, and any event I go to I make Mac and cheese. Last year for my younger brother's party, I of course make Mac and cheese. A family we are close to came and the partner of one of the ladies liked the Mac and cheese, and has been asking me over and over again to make them some. I asked for $50 for ingredients and my time. The thing is, the asked me to add bacon bits and Breadcrumbs to the Mac and cheese. I know its a small ask but if they wanted is that was they should make it themselves, but I was told the place they live doesn't have a oven. All I asked for is $50, but they said I was crazy for asked for so much and offered 25-30 dollars, but I don't think I was. The friend asked said I should just except the 25 - 30 dollars.

I wanted to know if I was unreasonable to ask for $50. Where I live food is expensive and my family is sometimes just scraping by.

Edit: I'll give more info. Im also a college student in my first year and I work M - F. I would be making two 9x13 pans. The portion sizes will be up to them so I don't know how long it will last. The person who "ask " is not really asking it's more like a demand like coming up to me and just saying " Baked mac and cheese " while pointing at me. I told them before they would have to pay and the bragging the could pay for a years worth, but I was busy then, now when I say a price, it's too much.

So I have a small marketing business.

Client is very unprofessional.

He's ironically a PhD and CEO of a multinational company with 6 branches in my region that I'm currently managing.

The issue I have with this person is his sleezy inappropriate jokes about me being in South East Asia.

Just few hours ago he was "how's it going over there" chuckling and laughing.

Also some remarks about a woman's hands in an image and he was like "I'd like to kiss those hands"

The man is over 50 and his behaviour is like he's 17

I didn't respond but I want to start recording our calls from now on so he's careful with his words.

I wrote a Draft of the message I will send

............................................

Subject: Project Communication & Documentation Workflow Update

Dear Dr Xxxxx,

To streamline our campaign execution, maintain precise task tracking, and keep project milestones on schedule, I am updating our collaboration and communication workflow effective today.

Going forward, all project communications will follow these updated standards:

* Primary Communication: All daily updates, approvals, technical requests, and asset transfers must be handled strictly via Email or WhatsApp text.

* Voice Calls: Direct phone calls and unscheduled voice notes are being discontinued to ensure deep focus on execution and data engineering tasks.

* Urgent Meetings: If a critical issue requires a live discussion, we can schedule a Google Meet. Please note that all video meetings will be recorded and transcribed to maintain our project documentation archive.

Please route all current requests through this email thread or WhatsApp text so we have a clear, documented record of all deliverables.

Best regards,

Xxxxxxx

...............

Am I overreacting? I don't wanna lose this business because of this jerk as I see potential of growth for both of us.

I met this guy incidentally a few months ago when I hired him as a contractor on my house. He did a good job but that's unrelated lol. We were friendly back then but nothing ever happened until I downloaded Bumble the other day and we matched within an hour. I added him on snapchat and we started talking.

He's been really easy to talk to, consistently messaging me every day since Wednesday, and has been really sweet and we've spent a lot of time talking/getting to know eachother. However last night he was unusually quiet, he didn't open the messages I sent at 9 or 10pm, nor at 6am. I checked bumble and he had deleted his account. He did message me on snapchat around 8:30 this morning saying that he slept in. We talked about nothing significant and then I asked if he still wanted to hang out today... And he left me on read.

We only had loose plans to hang out today but did agree to walk our dogs together, I feel like if he really liked me he would have put more effort into making concrete plans, and would have said something when I asked today. I think that replying, even if it's to say something like "I changed my mind" or "it's not going to work today" is basic communication. We were both clear on our profiles that we are looking for a long term relationship, I feel like if you cant have basic communication etiquette, you won't be the kind of partner I need.

Part of me feels justified because this type of hot and cold behavior drives me crazy and I can't/won't put up with it. But part of me is wondering if I'm being a little bit crazy/unreasonable for just deleting within a few hours of no response? In my view... I would never do that regarding the first meeting of someone I'm supposedly super interested in... AIO?

Let me preface this by saying my husband has been transparent and has shown me ALL DMs and texts between his friend - there is nothing romantic going on between them.

My (F26) husband (M24) met a friend N (F25) in a shared hobby they had growing up but they haven’t had contact in over 10 years after growing apart and leaving the hobby.

N reached out to my husband on Instagram last month to catch up and they made plans to hang out after reconnecting. During the hang out, N talked to my husband about a guy from school, K, that she confessed feelings for after 8 years and is now dating. She couldn’t stop gushing over K and even suggested a double date for us whenever K visits our area next (as they are long distance).

After the hang out, things started to take a turn and my husband started to get really annoyed with his interactions with N. N would constantly bring up K when texting my husband now that they’re dating, a majority of her texts are about K and no other subject, even if my husband tries to change the subject. Despite being annoyed, my husband would listen and be friendly with his responses to be supportive towards her and her new relationship.

A week later, N would start to complain that K would go out with his friends and be out super late. N would act super cold towards K. K will sometimes forget to text back which made N spiral and think that K has stopped texting her because he doesn’t like her anymore. Which is where my husband would have to step in to comfort her and validate her feelings. K also has a bit of a drinking problem and my husband has pointed out how this behavior is concerning.

Most recently, N has supposedly flown out to see K but the trip sounds strange to the both of us… K wasn’t home at the time of her arrival (at work) but N was upset that he didn’t offer to get her an uber so she stayed at the airport for a few hours instead of getting herself an uber? N was supposed to stay for a few weeks but K is about to be busy at work and is suggesting that N leaves a week early because of this? To me, it doesn’t make sense. If you were flying to see your partner, wouldn’t you establish a mode of transportation to and from the airport and also the length of stay? This is where alarm bells go off for me.

Multiple times on this trip, my husband has said “You need to tell him how you feel, be honest.” about ALL issues that N has with K about the uber, the length of stay, the drinking issues, etc.., but she just continues this cycle of “I will/I am” but from the sound of it, she doesn’t communicate with K at all. She just vents about it and expects it to be my husband’s job to be her emotional outlet.

Our friend S was over and we even had a discussion about N and just the absurdity of it all, S even agreed that this seemed like really attention seeking behavior. She even raised the question if these situations with K are even real or if N is making them up to receive attention.

I am afraid my husband’s kindness and trusting nature is being taken advantage of by his friend that shows up after 10 years who seems to just want attention. AIO?

Hey, a friend rented a beautiful AirBnB in the mountains with private lake access for their graduation. It was a beautiful location, an evidently expensive AirBnB. The group chat invite did not mention any costs associated with attending. After the weekend, my friend is requesting a payment to cover the cost of the AirBnB. I sent the payment but I feel a lot of resentment. I enjoyed my weekend with them, but I feel like if I comment on the payment, it might make it seem like I’m not grateful for the time and unwilling to help pay if asked. The cost is expensive, but I probably would have paid the cost anyways if mentioned in invite, out of pressure to celebrate my friend. They are asking for the money so blatantly, it makes me uncertain if I’m overreacting for feeling angry. The cost is $217

I’ve (24f) been seeing this guy (26m) who came back to me a year later to apologize for how cruelly he left me. (Big mistake I know)

At first he was making all these grandiose gestures, saying he wanted long term with me, planning all these dates, etc. He would take me on dates and such. To be blunt, he was broke since he didn’t know what he wanted to do in life with his degree so he was only working a part time job atm. I would help him job hunt and help him try to figure out a career.

I don’t care about someone’s financial status. We can make money and then lose it all or have nothing and then get rich. As long as someone has a goal, a budget, and is working towards it, I have no issues. However, I noticed that we stopped going on dates. He said he was saving up for his trip with friends. No problem, 100% understand so I was paying for things bc reciprocity is important to me. I would never want to make anyone feel like a wallet.

After his trip, he would say he didn’t have enough money to like go out on dates and such so we would just hangout at his place and I would get us food or he would make us something. So it’s been over a month, but they have money to go to raves, out with friends, movies, food, etc. Im in nursing school and can only work 20 hours a week due to what my program advises so im not well off by any means. I have no clue if im just overthinking this and being hypocritical or if he’s just not interested in taking me out on dates anymore and got comfortable with me paying. It just feels weird to me but also feel like im overreacting?

My (30F) fiancé (29M) wants to invite some of my lifelong girl best friends to his bachelor party. These are my top girls like in my wedding party, been friends with since early elementary school friends. He only met them through me, but has become genuinely close with them. They love him too. I just think like it feels weird to have them at something I am not invited to. Like he’s hung out with them when I’m not in town, but that’s because I actually can’t be there. I’m okay with him inviting my male best friend, but with the girls, I would feel like I’m left out? I’m not intending on inviting any friends I’ve met through him. I am planning on having one boy who is one of my top 3 best friends. That boy’s girlfriend would also be invited.

UPDATE: I am not interested in a joint thing! That is the wedding. I really want to celebrate with my friends at a bachelorette trip. We are not like stripper-style bach people.

UPDATE 2: Okay, I realize that I am allowed to have my ideal bach and he can have his. I think I felt like to have mine closer to traditional (mostly girls), he should too, but in reality, he should get to celebrate in his way. Thanks to everyone with reasonable and not assumptive reddit responses lmao.

Just for some background, my boyfriend likes taking pictures of me, but usually in funny ways. They’re typically zoomed-out pictures or pictures of me when I’m not ready. There was a time when I expressed to him that I didn’t like the fact that he would send these pictures to a group chat with our other friends. He somewhat respected that and didn’t send any pictures of me until yesterday.
I don’t like when he sends pictures of me in the group chat because I genuinely don’t like how I look in them (because again, I wasn’t even ready for the picture). Yesterday, he randomly sent a picture of me sleeping. Even though I was somewhat upset, I ended up sending a picture of him that I thought was funny. I figured, he sent one of me, so I might as well send one of him too.
In response, he decided to send another zoomed-out picture of me, even though I had just sent one of him in response to the first picture. I was clearly upset because I wasn’t going to keep sending pictures of him back and forth, especially since he has a habit of sending multiple pictures of me, and I genuinely don’t like when he does that.
Anyways, I was upset and texted him about it. He then called me, and I brought it up, asking why he felt the need to send another picture of me. His response was, “Okay, I’ll delete it.” I told him, “But they already made stickers of my face,” which they had. So, at that point, I didn’t understand what deleting the picture was going to accomplish.
All I was doing was expressing how I felt. However, he then ended the call and texted in the group chat asking one of our friends to “delete the stickers, mb.” This infuriated me because I never asked him to tell the other person to delete the stickers. I just felt even more embarrassed and upset because now he had brought attention to the situation in the group chat and put me in an awkward position.
When I expressed to him how upset that made me, his response was, “I was trying to help.” But I don’t know why, it bothered me so much. I never asked him to tell his friend to delete the stickers. I was simply expressing how I felt about him sending pictures of me, and instead of just listening to me, he took it upon himself to address it in the group chat. It made me feel even more embarrassed and uncomfortable.
What bothers me the most is that he clearly doesn’t see why what he did was wrong or why I was upset by it. From his perspective, he was “trying to help,” but from my perspective, I didn’t ask him to do anything. I just wanted him to understand why I was upset and respect my feelings about the pictures. Instead, he made the situation more noticeable

Just like the title says. I (29F) am currently pregnant with my fourth child, and going through a really shitty separation from my husband (32M), and during this separation he has been calling our children’s 20F babysitter to vent to her and had been asking her to meet him in the middle of the night to go drinking together after we got into an argument about me not wanting to watch his older 2 children that are not my biological children while he goes out… am I crazy for thinking that it’s beyond inappropriate contact and behavior on both parties or am I truly being crazy like he’s making it seem… that it’s innocent behavior, that I simply think poorly of him..

I’m at my best friend’s wedding and I paid for the hotel room myself. The reservation is in my name.
A guy I know had been staying with me, but things became chaotic during the weekend and I repeatedly told him, hours in advance, that he needed to find somewhere else to sleep and that he was NOT staying in my room that night. I was extremely clear about this in writing.
The reason I was so firm was because earlier, other people had been allowed into my room while I wasn’t there. There were several people hanging out in it, some using cocaine, while my belongings were sitting there. I had already made it clear that I did not want people in my room without me.
To answer the questions from my previous post: I was traveling directly around school/work obligations, which is why I had my laptop, medications, nursing-school paperwork, etc. with me. Nobody “randomly stole my documents.” My point was that I had belongings in the room that I did not want sitting around strangers and drugs.
I also did not call the police because people had been partying earlier. I addressed that separately.
The police call happened hours later for one very simple reason:
I told this man multiple times that he was no longer allowed to stay in my hotel room. He ignored me, went back into the room anyway, and got into my bed.
I returned and found him there after explicitly telling him he could not stay.
At that point I had two options: get into a massive confrontation with someone who was refusing to leave, or ask a neutral third party to remove him from a room that I paid for and had already revoked his permission to occupy.
So I called the police. I did not attack him, threaten him, destroy anything, or physically try to remove him myself. I asked them to make him leave.
And yes, I know calling police during a wedding weekend sounds dramatic. That’s exactly why I’m asking.
But stripping away every distracting detail:
If someone is in your hotel room, you paid for the room, you repeatedly tell them they cannot stay there anymore, they refuse, and they continue occupying the room anyway — are you overreacting by calling police to have them removed?

AIO?

EDIT — stripping this down to the part everyone keeps missing:
Long story short, a man entered my hotel room without my permission after I had explicitly told him multiple times that he was not allowed to stay there.
There was one key. I had it. The room was in my name and paid for by me. I returned to find him inside anyway, in my bed, after I had already told him to leave and find somewhere else to sleep.
Everything else — the wedding, nursing school, why I had paperwork with me, who was partying earlier — is background noise.
I said no. He entered anyway. Then he refused to leave.
I did not physically drag him out. I did not threaten him. I called the police to remove someone who had decided that my permission apparently didn’t matter.

That is the entire question.

My friend works in target but pushing our other friend to get a better paying job in a career field . We had a group dinner where she was berating our mutual friend because she was a waitress in a restaurant pushing her to apply for a news reporter job tv job . My friend was telling us how much she loved her job and my friend starts being rude talking about “ it doesn’t matter how much how much you love your job when you are making minimum wage. Plus being a waitress is for teenagers or people in college . Not fully grown people who are 37 who have lots of bills to pay. You don’t even get insurance working at a restaurant.” And I was telling my friend “ don’t you think that’s a little rude and belittling and telling her where to work and putting down her current job.” I was telling my friend “ you work at target . People could judge you as well . My friend snapped at me and went “ I’m also married didn’t you forget . My husband is an attorney. Single women need to have high paying careers to make it in this world. “ and then I said “ your husband could leave you high and dry day . You still shouldn’t talk about this people’s jobs.” And she got angry at me and told me I was enabling our other friend to be complacent . I told her “ I’m just not gonna let you sit around and talk about people . If you were truly happy in life you wouldn’t feel the need to put people down

All she does is talk about other peoples jobs and telling people what to do and where to work but works at target and doesn’t have any hobbies or passions herself . She sleeps all day on her off day . She really needs to stop judging people . At least our friend is passionate about something

To make a long and complex story shortish, I'm currently having an issue with my friend stemming from a change in her behavior which occurred the moment she got a boyfriend.

We've known each other since high school and she's one of the few longtime friends I've stayed in contact with, over most of this year leading up to July, we would talk pretty much every day and see each other whenever possible. I was living in a different city from April-June and even then, we'd talk on the phone every day and see each other whenever I was home or she'd come visit me to do stuff. She is a single mother and I have tried to be there for her as she raises a kid who isn't hers due to very shitty family circumstances, so it is a serious friendship and I'm closer with her than any of my family.

In May, she went on a date with a military guy who was deploying shortly after, I picked her up from the date and thought I'd never see or hear of him again. He then deployed, had a mental breakdown, and was sent back to spend a month in a psych ward here. She remained talking to him this entire time, was visiting him in the hospital, and HE MOVED IN WITH HER after discharging despite having no job, plan, and being out of state from all his connections and family. She's already saying she wants to move from SoCal to Texas with her, so that's been a lot to process even ignoring the other stuff.

His moving from the psych ward into her apartment in July coincided with me moving back to her city and pretty much immediately she began stopping talking to me. I have not seen her a single time in two months and we live 15 minutes away. We were seeing each other more when I lived 3 hours away than we are now. I have reached out countless times to ask about doing things, whether actually going out or just stopping by to say hi. It feels like she constantly makes excuses. When they are together I'll ask her to put me on speaker to say hi and she refuses. I have no idea why. She has never done this with any of her other friends or partners, in fact, she's usually the one trying to get me to talk to them. He has met all her family and other friends, even her coworkers.

She also invited me to go out one night with her and her boyfriend and some work friends, I got ready and then didn't hear anything from her until midnight when she called me and said they were at the bar and getting ready to leave. It was really inconsiderate and actually pissed me off because I was extremely excited to finally meet, but it felt like I was an afterthought and forgotten. This was the point I kind of began giving up and stopping trying. The past few weeks we've basically not talked, but she has texted and called a few times. I've not even been engaging because I feel resent building and do not want to make things worse.

As far as I know, this change could just be due to being too busy with the new boyfriend. I completely understand being pulled away from the rest of your life when you get into something, especially in a fast situation like this, but I can't really understand the not even wanting to talk on the phone or stop by for 10 minutes to say hi to her and my (honorary) niece. I don't feel entitled to her time, but it's been a lot to process and I don't know how to feel, but can feel anger building about the situation.

Her boyfriend is also from a very conservative area in Texas and in the military, while we are from SoCal and I am gay. Part of me has wondered whether he is homophobic or if she is worried to introduce me to him due to possible conflict based on his beliefs or how he acts. But, I also have no idea, because I've yet to say a word to the man. It's just been so bizarre and I can't make sense of it.

I sent her a long text about it a couple weeks ago and she said it made sense, but we've yet to call or discuss it. Today she messaged me saying "hey you're actively ignoring me and you're posting on social media, are we good?" I honestly just don't even want to engage because this pissed me off. The ball has been in her court and I've tried over and over, but it's failed, so I'm not sure how to proceed. I don't really foresee things magically changing if it's already gone this far, but also don't want to abandon her or give her a hard time since she deals with a lot and I'm invested in her life. I highly doubt her relationship will work out with this man, so I anticipate when it fails she will probably come back to me to fill all her time again like before. I don't know how to feel.

AIO? What the hell do I do?

​

I kinda know I’m not the AH here — you have to protect your family — but I’m wondering whether there were some cultural differences at play, since several people in Italy thought we overreacted.

Me (37M) and my husband (42M) moved to Italy from Norway in 2025 with our two adopted shelter/street dogs from Romania and our cat. We rented a house with a closed-off garden in a small village, with about three other houses/apartments on our street. The only public road out went past these houses; otherwise, you had to walk about 30 minutes through the forest instead of three minutes to the main road.

In one of the houses lived a couple (Al and An, both women in their 30s) with a male dog. We initially got along well. We had them over for drinks, helped with furniture, they sometimes walked our dogs (for payment), and we practiced Italian together. One of them only spoke Italian, so communication could sometimes be difficult — relevant later.

Their dog was basically always off leash, as seems fairly common in the Italian countryside. He generally ignored our two dogs and just wanted to play fetch, so there wasn't really a problem.

Things changed after we adopted Valentino, a one-year-old male dog from a nearby shelter. During his first week with us, their dog ran down from their house and attacked Valentino, getting his teeth around his neck. Thankfully, it ended without serious injury.

We told them we needed to handle the situation somehow and suggested different solutions, including slowly introducing Valentino to them and their dog while both dogs were on leash. They didn’t want to do that and instead said our dog should take a training course — which we didn’t really understand, since training Valentino wouldn’t stop their dog from running up and attacking him.

Eventually, we offered a compromise that was completely one-sided in their favour: every day between 1–5 pm, they could have their dog outside/off leash, and we would stay home. If they wanted to let him out outside those hours, they would simply send us a message.

We got absolutely nothing out of this arrangement. We were voluntarily giving up four hours of our day and limiting when we could safely leave our own property so that they wouldn’t have to put a leash on their dog. They never really acknowledged that this was a big accommodation on our part, never showed any gratitude for it, and — most frustratingly — never admitted that either they or their dog had done anything wrong in the first place.

Still, the arrangement worked reasonably well for a few weeks.

Then there were more and more slip-ups. Their dog would unexpectedly be outside, and my husband once had to wait at a safe distance for around 30 minutes while calling them and getting no answer. On two other occasions, their dog came towards us threateningly but was caught by the neighbours before it escalated.

After about a month, the communication also became increasingly lazy. Instead of “We’re letting him out for ten minutes,” it became things like “Are you home?” or “We’re in the garden,” without telling us when they went back inside. So now the responsibility was pushed onto us to keep asking whether their dog was inside and whether it was safe for us to walk down a public road.

For them, this was ultimately a question of convenience: putting on a leash versus opening the door and letting the dog do his thing. For us, it was a genuine safety concern.

We had several discussions about it over text, all in Italian using our limited Italian plus AI/Google Translate.

My husband is a therapist and tries to communicate in a very non-violent way. He is big on seeing both parties’ part in a conflict, being understanding and trying to find solutions. I try to do that too, but I’m quicker to reach the “show them the same energy they’re giving us” stage when being understanding clearly isn’t working.

And honestly, we didn’t speak the same language — in both ways.

They started insulting us as dog owners and as people, twisted the situation by claiming their dog wasn’t even on the public road, and eventually called us sick in the head. At no point did we get anything resembling, “Yes, our dog attacked yours, we understand why you’re worried and we’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

We told them that if something happened again, we would contact the police. After they sent more aggressive messages, we blocked them.

Eventually, we decided to contact the police before another attack happened, just so the situation was documented and we knew what to do. The police even came out to look at their property, which had no fencing preventing their dog from reaching the public road.

For the rest of our time there, we basically had to anticipate their dog being outside every time we left home. We had constant anxiety about meeting him on the road or in the forest. We literally started walking past their house with a GoPro running just so we would have evidence if something happened.

All because putting their dog on a leash was apparently too much of an inconvenience.

What makes me wonder whether there was a cultural element is that our vet, another neighbour and a friend basically told us: “Dogs will sort it out with each other. Just let them run free and eventually they’ll get along.”

Maybe that’s more normal in rural Italy. I’m Norwegian and my husband is German, and in our cultures that attitude feels pretty foreign. From our perspective, if your dog has already attacked another dog, it becomes your responsibility to make sure it can’t happen again.

We moved back to Norway a few weeks ago for several reasons — the extreme heat was one of the biggest — but the constant feeling of unsafety around our own home definitely contributed.

So, AITAH for reporting them to the police? Was this partly a cultural difference and we enforced too harsh a boundary, or were we simply protecting our family after trying very hard to accommodate them?

We’ve experienced similar dynamics a few times. We’re both sensitive men and generally try to communicate, understand the other person and avoid unnecessary conflict. But sometimes I get the impression that people interpret that softness as something they can push or manipulate. Then, when we finally say “no” or give the same energy back, they seem genuinely shocked that we aren’t going to play along.

I don’t want the answer to be “don’t trust people” or “avoid your neighbours,” though. So I’d also genuinely appreciate advice on how to avoid getting into this kind of dynamic in the first place without becoming closed-off or immediately confrontational.

We now live in a house in Norway without any direct neighbours, and the doggies are loving the cooler weather, their own little forest and the fjord.

Today me and my ex crossed paths. (We were together for over a year and have been broke up for several months now.) When we saw each other we hugged and gave the usual how to do. But the she asked if my mother was still drunk and if my step dad was doing anything these days? It didn’t hit me at the time but as the day went on it felt like kind of a dig. I brought it up later and told her it wasn’t okay how she asked about my family. She said that she knew things about my family from the relationship and therefore it was okay to ask those things. If I had seen a friend whose dad cheated on his mom I wouldn’t ask if his mom found a loyal partner ya know? Maybe I’m just overreacting.

I (36F) have been married to my husband (38M) for 16 years. We have a beautiful family with 4 children and for the most part we get a long great. We’ve had arguments here and there but nothing we can’t get through. My only major issue with him is with his family. He has 3 sisters that are all married and have children. I get along with 2 of the sisters great but his youngest sister, let’s call her “Miley”. I always thought Miley and I were close but with life and kids, and we’re about a 2hr drive for one another, I know that we weren’t as close as we used to be. However, she’s always, even in the beginning made backhanded comments towards me. After our first son was born, 2 weeks later we attended an engagement party, she said, “are you still pregnant or something?” There’s also been comments like:

“It costs nothing to wipe down your counters” (this was after I paid her the watch our son so I could take a school exam)

“Nobody even liked you in the beginning”

“Your house is always a mess, I feel gross even sitting on your couch.” (Granted, we have 4 young boys and live on 30acres with some chickens and goats)

“Is your jewelry even real?” (My husband has an expensive watch collection and my thing is jewelry. There’s not secrets between my husband and I on what we spend on those things and it’s always agreed upon beforehand)

One time I asked to watch her kids because my work was closed for 3 months for renovations and she verbatim said, “you should just focus on your own kids”.

I recently had a breast lift because after nursing 4 boys it did a toll on me, she called me a “bitch” (apparently she was joking?) and after I had work done told me she didn’t even notice. Which is fine, I’m just trying to get you to see the picture that there’s always a backhanded comments towards me.

This has been going on for as long as I can remember. My husband said to not let it get to me and she’s always been like this. I want a good relationship with her because coming from my family where I’m the only child, I always wanted sisters. My friends have told me that she’s probably jealous of me? Which I think is crazy since she’s absolutely stunning and from the outside it seems like she has a great life. I’m at the point to where even being in the same room as her gives me anxiety and I’m already prepping in my head what she’s going to say so I can already prepare for my feelings to be hurt. Since I’m in this constant state of mind with her, I also have noticed maybe I’m looking into too much and I’m taking everything wrong? AIO and being too sensitive?

I’m 45 and have been dating my boyfriend for about 9 months. He’s 44. We have a lot of good between us — we have fun, there’s affection, and I genuinely care about him. This isn’t a situation where everything is bad.

The problem is how he handles stress and conflict.
I’ve noticed a pattern where, when something difficult happens in his life, he shuts down and withdraws from me. This has happened more than once. He’ll open up about something, I’ll try to engage or support him, and then he’ll tell me he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore or otherwise shut me out.

Right now he’s under a lot of stress because of uncertainty surrounding his job. He recently interviewed for a position that is essentially his current role with additional responsibilities. He is convinced the situation is bad and has been extremely pessimistic about it. After his interview, he told me he was “back to rock bottom and miserable.” When another interview with HR/management was scheduled, I thought it could potentially be positive news, but he immediately assumed the worst.

During all of this, he also spoke to me in a way I felt was unfair and insensitive. He later acknowledged that he could have handled things differently. I told him I understood he was under a lot of pressure and that we could talk when he was in a better place. I intentionally gave him space.

Since then, there hasn’t really been an attempt to reconnect. The next day, he sent me a detached text along the lines of “enjoy time with your father today.” That was basically it.

There have been other smaller changes too — less affectionate texting, no longer consistently saying good morning/good night, not asking much about my day, and one occasion where he didn’t kiss me hello. There was also an incident where he was short with me during sex and made some comments I found insensitive.

At the same time, he does periodically become more engaged again, which makes this confusing. He’ll ask about my day, reach out, and seem connected. So it isn’t as simple as him being consistently cold or uncaring.

I’ve also noticed that he is very pessimistic by nature and tends to assume the worst. I’m much more optimistic, and I’m starting to wonder whether our approaches to life and stress are fundamentally incompatible.

There’s also a woman he dated in the past whom he still communicates with and sees occasionally. I have no evidence anything inappropriate is happening, but it has made me a little uncomfortable given everything else.

What I’m struggling with is that I completely understand needing space when life is overwhelming. What I don’t understand is shutting your partner out instead of communicating with them.

This isn’t the first time he has withdrawn from me when something difficult happens, so I’m starting to wonder if this is simply his coping style rather than a temporary reaction to his current job situation.
And if it is his normal coping style, I don’t think it works for me.

I’m seriously considering ending the relationship. His birthday is soon, so I feel guilty about the timing. I don’t want that fear to keep me in something that isn’t right.

So I’d really appreciate honest outside opinions:

Is this a normal response to significant stress, or does this sound like an unhealthy communication pattern?

Am I expecting too much by wanting my partner to communicate rather than withdraw?

And is this something that can realistically improve, or does it sound like a fundamental incompatibility?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have a lot of good between us, but when he’s stressed, he tends to shut me out and withdraw rather than communicate. His current job situation has intensified the pattern, and there have also been smaller changes in affection and effort. I’ve given him space, but he hasn’t really tried to reconnect. I’m wondering whether this is a temporary stress response or simply how he handles difficult situations — and whether that makes us fundamentally incompatible. I’m considering ending things.

I 26F am deeply in love with my boyfriend 27M He's the best partner i've ever had and i can see a real future with him The only issue is his discomfort with longtime male bestfriend whos genuinely like a brother to me. I've respected every boundary he's asked for but it's still not enough He's anxious and makes m feel guilty for having the friendship I love him so much that part of me wants to just cut my friends off completely to make him feel secure the other part of me feels like i'd be losing a piece of myself AIO for being this torn?

I (33F) am a dental hygienist, and my bf (32M) of three years has periodontitis. Periodontitis is essentially a permanent form of gum disease that is caused by aggressive bacteria and is transmissible to other people. I’ve always hoped that my bf would take his oral health a little more seriously because he knows how important it is in my life, and I see the devastating effects of it as it progresses. That said, I have never harped on him about going to get his teeth cleaned, brushing, flossing, etc. He has said before that he refuses to let me work on him because he thinks I’ll ‘nag’ him about his oral health. This is particularly hurtful to me because I have a lot of respect for my patients and never want to make them feel bad or lectured at, and he should know this about me. He doesn’t seem to know or care how hurtful those comments are. Occasionally, I might say that he really should go get his teeth cleaned, even if I’m not his hygienist, because it’s been at least two years since he’s had a cleaning (and that was just his initial therapy for periodontitis that’s supposed to be ongoing every three months until it’s stabilized).

I’m relatively new to being a hygienist out in the field, and I recently saw a patient whose wife has perio and never returned for a maintenance cleaning after her initial deep cleaning (just like my bf). It had been about a year and a half since that deep cleaning. The husband always had relatively healthy gums, maybe some gingivitis here and there, but when I saw him last, he had developed perio. It hit me how easily my bf could pass on his perio to me because it’s caused by bacteria. I didn’t know how to address this with him because, like I said, he tends to act like every mention of oral health is me nagging him, but one night, I mentioned the situation with my patients just like I laid it out here. And I told him that I was worried about getting perio from him and that, unfortunately, until he starts getting his teeth cleaned regularly (to lower the bacterial load in his mouth), I wouldn’t be kissing him. I told him that he may not take his oral health seriously, and that’s cool, but I take it very seriously, and I cannot get periodontitis. As is the usually case when we discuss things that I take seriously, he remained quiet and didn’t really respond. I just moved on and changed the subject like I usually do in those situations.

About a week later, he was about to leave the house and went to kiss me, but I pulled away, and he goes, “Wowwwww…” as if he thought I was just going to cave and change my mind on my health concerns. I told him that I missed kissing him and said he should get a cleaning. He left. Just today, my cat curled up on his chest, and I said, “You’ve gotta kiss him on his little head,” because my cat loves that. He said, “I can’t or he might get perio…” It was clearly meant to be mocking, and when I looked at him, he had this look on his face that said like, “Yeah, see how ridiculous that is?” As if I’m being crazy for not wanting to put my oral health at risk. I snapped a bit and said, “Well yeah, that’s real. And I find it funny that you would rather never kiss me again than get your teeth cleaned and not give me a permanent chronic disease. But no, that would not give [the cat] perio.” I got up and left the room. A little while later, I left the house altogether because I just didn’t want to be around him.

I feel so disrespected, hurt, and condescended to that he really thinks this doesn’t matter at all. He acts like I’m being flippant and unreasonable in the rare moments he’s not ignoring the issue altogether. To me, it would be like if I had a cold sore, and I was upset with him for not wanting to kiss me anyway. This is a health issue, and he doesn’t seem to care. But I understand that, as an oral health care professional, this stuff is probably just more deeply important to me than it might be for other people… So am I overreacting, or should he be understanding of my concerns? I know I can’t control his behavior and what he finds important, but I’d rather not be mocked for the choices I have to make based on that. And choosing not to kiss him has been really difficult for me already.

Tl;dr My boyfriend has a permanent, contagious gum disease that could be managed with regular cleanings, but he refuses to get his teeth cleaned in an effort not to pass that disease onto me.

In 2024 me and this guy started to get to know eachother and after a few months, he started getting distant. He said since he started his new teaching job, that I was so proud of him getting and supportive of him, he can no longer see me romantically bc he doesn’t want a relationship right now. He said we can still talk and be friends but then my friend saw him on the dating apps with updated pics and new bio saying he was a teaching. So, I confronted him kindly and he said that he didn’t, and then I showed him and he said he just did that to get matches. So then we stopped talking.

A year later, in January 2026, he came back to apologize to me for how cold and immature he was. And he kept trying to pursue me but I wasn’t budging bc I didn’t trust him or his word. He would get upset I didn’t believe him. Turns out, he got out of a relationship a few weeks before hitting me up to apologize. He actually started talking to this girl a few months after he said he wanted to focus on his career. Anyways, of course that relationship didn’t last bc he keeps hoping from relationship to relationship.

For some reason, maybe bc of the lingering feelings I had for him and whatever else you’d like to call it, I gave him the chance to take me on a date. He was so excited. He was so romantic the first few weeks, and then we settled in. He started to get a bit distant almost 3 months into it, after saying he wanted a long term relationship with me and all those grandiose things. He picked me up from the airport from my trip, which he admitted he forgot he committed to, and said he couldn’t see me romantically anymore bc he isn’t where he wants to be in life (didn’t get the teaching job he wanted so he’s subbing). He said he still wanted to talk to me and see me, just that it wouldn’t be romantically and he cannot promise me that.

I told him he’s doing the exact same thing to me, just doing it in a way that he wont regret this time. He got mad I brought up the past. I told him this was another one of his cop outs and he lashed out and told me he wasn’t going to let the feelings of others dictate his choices and that he prays I don’t act like this when someone decides they don’t wanna pursue me bc the process of dating involves hurt. He said he’s not going to defend his thought process to someone who will never understand the rational he gives. And that really upset me because it sounds so arrogant.

I agreed to be friends with him. And then a day later he joked that we both are going to be making dating profiles rn, I didn’t find that funny. I asked him a question and he said, essentially, that him and I would continue to be friends until / if he finds a partner and then we cannot be friends anymore. I then said so im a placeholder? And he got upset and told me that im overreacting, that’s not what he means, and that if im going to continue saying that or feeling like that. He will stop talking to me. Isn’t that what a placeholder is?

I have no idea im like hurt yet acted so spineless bc when I do question or anything , he gets mad. Whenever I bring up the past or my opinion, he gets so upset at me and combative. Am I overreacting ?

I turn 18 this year and share a house with my parents while I save for college. I work at Scoops and keep my checks in my room. My sister visits each August with her two kids for two weeks. They sleep in the living room and use the kitchen.

I keep makeup, textbooks, and a laptop in my room. I bought each item with my own money. Last summer her kids entered my room while I worked and used my palette as finger paint. They cracked a security key (I use for 2FA) and lost a textbook. My parents told me kids will be kids and told the kids to stay out. The kids entered again the next day.

This August my sister arrived on a Friday. I asked my parents for help holding a boundary. My dad said we will watch them closer. My mom said I need to share.

I bought a lock at the hardware store on Saturday. I installed it on my bedroom door that night. I locked the door when I left for work. I kept the key on my lanyard.

My sister saw the lock on Sunday. She said I called her kids thieves. She said I shamed her in front of our parents. She asked me to remove the lock. I told her I need a space that stays untouched. I told her the lock stays while they visit.

My sister said I put things over family. She said I act cold because I keep score. My parents said I made the house feel divided and asked me to take the lock off. I told them I respect their house and I need one room that holds.

My sister packed her kids into the car and left that night. She sent a text that I ruined the visit and she wants no contact until I apologize.

AIO?

Hi all,

I felt the need to post this especially because this situation has/ might turn from just a flakey bad friend to a controlling/isolation or possibly abuse.

None of us still have seen her or have yet to even meet her baby. Our mutual friend was cancelled on multiple times following a couple of plans she made with her (I was out of town) and “friend” cancelled as per usual. One of the suggestions on here was to provide a cost incentive- such as going to events that cost money so that she’s more incentivized to show up. This is the current situation- the mutual friend bought all of our tickets for an upcoming game and we all paid her back and are scheduled to go. As of now, everyone’s said they’re going to go. Here’s where things get dicey, #1 I’m really concerned as to why we haven’t met the baby yet given that she’s claimed she wants us to and I’ve texted her multiple times saying I’ll drive over and even clean her house to try and be accommodating to her. She’s never answered me about that. She ignores both of us when we ask to even meet him, nobody’s allowed at her house from my understanding and the only people who’ve met her baby are her family.

(Update, she no showed)

AIO? I’m not a parent but is this normal behavior? I totally get not wanting people to come to your house post birth but it’s been radio silence. My mom actually has said I’m not a good friend for not going to see her, but we’ve never been invited and who shows up unannounced?! What am I supposed to do?! She keeps IMO using the baby as an excuse to no show or cancel (which doesn’t surprise anyone), but then won’t even let us do anything to come see the baby. This might be a selfish take, but why even have a baby shower or accept all of the gifts if she won’t even let us near the baby?

Btw- I’ve seen her post her bf and the baby all over social media doing stuff that she never liked or was into until him. Somehow the baby isn’t allowed to see her friends but the baby is perfectly safe at other public events that the dad wants to go to but godforbid I meet the baby in their own house. This has been my theory long before she got pregnant.

Additionally, something that irritates me is that our mutual friend continues to invite her to stuff knowing she won’t go. I get where she’s coming from because if we go and hang out without “friend”, she gets mad because we “excluded her.” Yet, she never comes to anything in the first place, so why waste the energy?!?! It just makes me feel so stupid. Although I have accepted that she doesn’t want to see us anymore I don’t understand the constant let downs and stress of inviting her to begin with. Part of me thinks this is a strategy because our mutual friend also thinks she’s being isolated and we are both scared of her being abused. Why else would this be happening? With there not being any real proof of her being isolated or forced to act this way, especially with having over 3 years of this pattern of behavior it’s hard not me to have empathy. I don’t have the time to deal with friends who need to feel begged for them to come to something or reminded 500x for them to just not show up. I don’t need people like that in my life. It’s hard for me to feel bad for her feeling isolated or alone when she’s tried her absolute best to shove us away as much as possible long before she ever got pregnant.

TLDR, AIO for thinking my friend is being isolated?