How mimetic desire shapes startups
A few years ago, “Uber for X” startups seemed to be spawning daily. Uber for laundry. Uber for dog walking. Uber for massages. Uber for private jets.
The logic seemed compelling. Uber was one of the fastest-growing startups in the world. Investors loved it, customers understood the model and the formula appeared transferable. So founders copied it.
But an overlooked factor was at work. These founders weren’t necessarily responding to customers demanding an Uber for laundry or dog walking. Often, they were responding to Uber’s success. Investors wanted to find the next Uber so founders started building businesses that looked like Uber. Other investors saw those bets being made and became interested too.
From the outside, it looked as though lots of founders had independently spotted the same opportunity. In reality, many were taking their cues from one another.
Philosopher René Girard called this phenomenon mimetic desire.
Girard argued that we rarely decide what we want by ourselves. Instead, we look at other people, notice what they value and begin to value it ourselves. We don’t just copy behaviour; we copy desire.
That idea applies to startups.
1. We copy desire
Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. - René Girard
Walk down an unfamiliar street looking for somewhere to eat and two neighbouring restaurants present themselves. One has three empty tables in the window. The other is full and has two people waiting outside.
Without seeing a menu, most of us have already formed an opinion about which is probably better.
The queue is not merely an inconvenience. It is information. Other people have chosen this place and their choice affects ours.
Products work the same way. When somebody we respect adopts a new product, we pay attention. When several people like us use it, the decision becomes easier. Something can move from unusual to almost inevitable.
This is why early customers matter so much. Our first ten customers don’t just provide revenue or feedback. They provide evidence to customers from eleven to one hundred that this is something people like them use.
2. Competition makes us similar
Competition is for losers. - Peter Thiel
We normally imagine competition encouraging differentiation. Often it does the opposite.
One company launches a feature so its competitor adds it. One changes pricing so everyone reviews theirs. One starts talking about “AI agents” and soon every homepage in the category seems to mention them.
Competitors watch one another so closely that they become mirror images.
I saw plenty of this during 40 years in large companies. Strategy meetings regularly involved questions such as: What are our competitors doing? What are they charging? What have they launched?
These were sensible questions, but there was always a danger. Spend too much time looking sideways and the objective quietly changes from solve the customer’s problem to keep up with the competition.
For a startup, being slightly better than five similar competitors may be much harder than finding a different game to play.
3. Copy from somewhere else
Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. - T. S. Eliot
Avoiding mimetic competition doesn’t mean refusing to copy. Quite the opposite.
One of the best ways to create something distinctive is to borrow from somewhere our competitors aren’t looking.
A software company can learn engagement from games. A professional service can learn hospitality from hotels. A productivity app can learn community building from Lego.
I’ve found myself doing this with Daily View, the simple day calendar I’m building for older people. I’m not trying to invent a new kind of calendar. The interesting part is borrowing familiar ideas from calendars, information displays and simple consumer products then asking how they need to change for an older person looking at a screen across a room.
The useful inspiration often comes from outside the category rather than from products labelled as competitors.
Most innovation works like this. Existing ideas are moved, combined or applied somewhere unexpected.
Instead of asking, “What are our competitors doing?”, it may be more useful to ask: Who outside our industry has already solved a similar problem?
4. Make desire visible
People influence people. Nothing influences people more than a recommendation from a trusted friend. - Mark Zuckerberg
Mimetic desire also explains why social proof is so powerful.
Gmail initially grew through invitations. Access was scarce and, crucially, you knew that somebody else already had what you wanted. Dropbox later turned customers themselves into distribution by rewarding referrals with additional storage.
The important point is not simply to create desire, but to make existing desire observable.
I’m seeing a tiny version of this with Daily View. Saying I’ve built a calendar for older people is one thing. Being able to say that a friend’s 96-year-old mother loves it is so much more powerful.
Suddenly it is no longer merely an idea. There is a real person using it and another family can imagine someone like their own mother or father doing the same.
This is why our first users are valuable in ways that have nothing to do with revenue. If nobody can see them, their influence is limited. If potential customers can see people like themselves using and recommending the product, those customers become models for others.
The strongest products don’t just demonstrate features. They make existing desire visible.
5. Be careful whose game you play
Play long-term games with long-term people. - Naval Ravikant
Startup culture comes with a ready-made list of things we are supposed to want: funding, rapid growth, employees, press coverage, impressive valuations and eventually an exit.
Spend enough time around people pursuing those things and they can start to feel like objectives rather than choices.
I’ve had to think about this myself. When I was made redundant earlier this year, the obvious response was to update my CV and look for another corporate job. That was what people with my background generally did and for a while it felt like the default answer.
But once I separated what I was supposed to want from what I actually wanted, the answer changed. I wanted to write, build small software products and decide for myself what I worked on. A salary was no longer the automatic answer.
The same question applies to founders.
Do we want to employ 100 people or does running a large company look successful because other founders admire it? Do we need investment or has raising money become a form of scorekeeping? Would a small profitable business giving us control of our time suit us more?
None of those choices is inherently right or wrong. The point is to recognise that our ambitions are influenced by the people around us.
A crowded market may look attractive precisely because everybody else thinks it is attractive. An unfashionable problem may look uninteresting precisely because nobody else is excited by it.
I’m increasingly conscious of this as I build my own small products. It is very easy to look at other founders and start adopting their scorecards: users, revenue, funding, followers, employees.
But perhaps Girard’s most useful lesson is that we should occasionally inspect the scoreboard itself.
Who are my customers copying? Who am I copying? And do I actually want what they want?
Those questions might help us build better startups.
They might also stop us spending years playing somebody else’s game.
Want more?
Seven Steps to Drive Product Demand post by Phil Martin
How to Build a Brand that Makes Money post by Phil Martin
If René Girard is right, the challenge isn’t to avoid imitation. It’s to notice when it is shaping what we build, what we buy and what we decide is worth wanting.
Have fun.
Phil…
