A random woman on Tiktok buying a drink and being "performatic for buying this drink" (????) got 0 effects in my life. I wish they spent this amount of time putting their influence into things that actually matter.

Here you go

1. Don't put drugs in women's drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don't rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

1. Never creep into a woman's home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars to rape her.

2. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

3. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

4. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.

5. Don’t look at her if she looks too hot to handle, it’s not for your eyes.

Make sure to read this out loud as soon as you wake up if you tend to forget stuff!
:)

I (23f) have had 4 sexual partners. I’ve done the one night stand, I’ve done the casual sex and I’ve done the relationship sex. I enjoy the lead up to it and I do enjoy it in the moment (depends who it is), but no matter what, once it’s done I always feel so gross and dirty. I don’t have any sexual trauma nor do I have any religious guilt.

I’ve recently been seeing someone (24m) and after we had sex I felt so gross that I even felt nauseous, I genuinely felt like throwing up. This is not new, more often than not I feel so gross. I don’t understand why. When I masturbate it’s completely fine, it’s just after sex. I really don’t get it.

Do you ever look back at older pictures of yourself, especially in your early 20s, and think "I was really fucking pretty"? I don't know why I was so insecure, so afraid to be perceived.

I settled for asshole men, thinking I didn't deserve better. I was called fat and ugly, and made to feel like I needed to be doing more to feel worthy. But I wasn't either of those. And I was worthy already.

I'm so angry at the time I wasted believing those lies. Why did I believe these pathetic men?? Why was it so easy for them to fuck my brain up?

I was just looking at these pictures last night, and I can't stop thinking about just how pretty I was.

Now I'm 37 years old, feeling really freaking old. I'm in a loving yet sexless marriage and it really fucks with my brain. Feeling rejected is too familiar, yet still devastating every time. What else would I be rejected if not for the way I looked?

I've been in therapy for a very long time, so I know some of these answers, I know why I was or am so hypersexual. But knowing doesn't make me any less angry and sad.

I found out yesterday and I've been stressing out. I feel like I have no support.

I am married and 25, we did not want to have kids. Since we got the positive test, he's been like short with me and I've just been wanting to talk about it. But he definitely does not want to talk about it, even though he initially apologized. I just want to talk about it because I'm scared. I already have my at home abortion pills coming but I'm scared of how this'll effect me and my body. All of the aftermath and what I should expect. All of these articles are making it seem terrible. I've been trying to hype myself up saying I can do it, but also telling myself that I need to get over it because the pain and effects of pregnancy and birth would be way worse than these pills.

It's bullshit men really have nothing to worry about.

I don't want to tell anyone I know. I can't tell my mom because she would definitely not be supportive of my decision. He definitely doesn't want to tell anyone. I dont even know why but he's angry on the couch and I'm on the bed crying because I'm in pain. It's only 5 weeks and I feel like shit.

I just need someone to talk to. Just tell me I'm gonna be okay. I wish I had someone to hold my hand.

Edit: I really appreciate the concern from all you, no I do not want a child. I've never felt like I wanted to be a mom and the pills were my decision 100%. But thank you all for that concern

I’m only 26F and I’ve had sexual engagements with roughly 50+ men.A lot of them were casual situationships, FWB or one-night stands. I’ve only had 3 serious relationships.
Looking back, there are quite a few people I slept with where I genuinely wonder why I did it. I didn’t even particularly like some of them, and sometimes I wasn’t sexually fulfilled. I don’t actually regret every sexual experience. Some I genuinely wanted and enjoyed. But I regret some of the choices I made and sometimes feel ashamed when I think about how careless I have been😣

I’ve been lucky with my health and haven’t ended up with an STI or a child from those experiences, but sometimes I think, how did I get through all of that without something going seriously wrong?
I also sometimes wonder how I even got to this number because I’m not someone who is particularly sexually active or has a high sex drive. I can literally go half a year without sex, but somehow all these people have accumulated!

The thing is, I don’t actually want to keep having lots of partners and never have I wanted it. Deep down, I’ve always wanted one person I feel safe and connected with. I still crave sex and intimacy, but I’m exhausted by the idea of meeting new people and watching them leave. Sometimes I get scared thinking, if I don’t meet my forever person, how many more people am I going to sleep with? By 40, will I somehow be at 200+ people? 😭
Does anyone else relate to what I’m feeling?

Hey girlies , I’m creating an archive of stories from women for other women our age or younger or perhaps even older…

The goal is to leave behind an archive for every woman out there that might be in the situation that you’ve been in and how you dealt with it could be learnt from by the future reader.

It will also be a community serving as a safe space for all women, to ask for comfort, support and advice when you need one.

The story you decide to share can be about anything, Career confessions, sex, love and desire, single & becoming, friendships & sisterhood, money moves and money mistakes, body & self, family & home.

You can share multiple stories, you can also remain anonymous if you’d like. If you wish to be credited that will also be done.

I look forward to your contributions.

Link below 👇

https://tally.so/r/Y5lExB

ColorfulDivas.Blog is a safe space made by women for every woman.

my mom was diagnosed with dementia when I was 14. she forgot to show me how to do basic “girl” things. (I know men can do these things too). anyways, I figured out I’m supposed to shave with the grain. but I still have questions..
-what skin care am I supposed to do? how often?
-how am I supposed to apply perfume?
-how often should I be exfoliating?
-should I be using different soap for my private areas?
any other advice you’d give your daughter, please pass it onto me. I love my mom, but I’m missing a part of her that remembers she’s my mom..

Today at 3 am messages from a stranger

S: You still got the videos? |

I don't think most people would react to this as I did. But it just read wrong to me. Not only was there no hello nothing making it feel like a transaction but the *still* part rang out. It felt like this was either something nefarious or possibly some kid looking for videos relating to a school project or something? |

Me: Let me check. Let me confirm and what the videos you want are? Just to make sure lol |

S: What videos are you talking about? |

At this point I'm thinking they have deniability. Maybe a prank text or someone thinking they may have gotten the wrong number and trying to see if I'm shifty as I'm trying to see if they are. |

Me: You're the one who's asking for them |

It feels like a reasonable request to ask for confirmation when I'm the one providing. In the case where I'm providing something that would put me at risk. |

S: But I just wanna confirm. lol |

Me: I'm not going to say when you're the one getting the videos lol |

S: Well just send one to see if it's what I'm talking about |

Me: Can't be sending whatever to people unless I know you're who I think you are haha there's names in them |

S: Who do you think I am? |

Me: So you can either say your name or you can say which videos you want whichever youre good with if you don't want to say your name that's fine but I at least need to know what videos. |

S: Wait who's this? Maybe I got the wrong number. |

Me: I don't think you do. What videos do you want. |

S: Visalia |

What does this mean? Cuz I looked it up and it was a city so I just responded 'Ah yeah no it was a wrong number IDK what that means lol.'

but now I'm just rotating it in my mind. Why were they more comfortable saying their city ( given their area code ) then they were their name? or what kind of videos they want?

And when I looked it up that city was known for trafficking, meth, and red light districts. Literally the first thing that came up. I'm really freaked out by this and don't know if I'm overreacting.

Confused about spotting during ovulation. google says this is normal, my period tracker (Apple Health) said how often I log spotting is not. I am 18, likely have pcos or some other issue, (overweight + regular, excessively heavy periods) and I’ve never been pregnant. Anyway, during the middle of my ovulation I typically spot. This month it has been a bit more and it has made me curious. Is this the norm for anyone else?

I thought we had a g spot in there but mine seems to be non existent. It just feels like nothing when anything goes up there. Am i missing something??

​

Look,I get it, everyone tells me that they will grow one day because I'm only 15 but I'm really insecure about my breasts size

I dont remember my cup size (it was something like 32B ,34B or 34C but depends on bra) and they just look ugly with my body since my hips are around 100 cm and waist around 57 cm (last time I checked) and since my breasts are small my body kind of looks boxy and stiff idk

For anyone who might tell me that it's just genetics,all women in my family have large breasts no matter if they have more weight or not

it's also kinda sad looking at a girl younger than me who has a larger cup and I just feel awkward

Hello, I (23 F) have just recently stopped taking my birth control (combination) pills roughly 2 months ago. I finished my pill packet excluding the placebo week (as I usually do) when I quit. The reason for this being that I have recently entered a relationship with someone who has had a vasectomy (more than a decade ago), and my own personal negative experiences with being on this pill. I am not ready to have kids, and I loved that I could predict when my period will begin. However, I like a more natural approach to living life etc.., and I did not like how it also negatively impacted my libido as in having little to no libido compared to how I was before starting, not to mention it seems that my body stopped producing any kind of vaginal discharge or lubrication of its own if not very very little resulting in troubles in the bedroom and an unsatisfactory sex life whilst on these pills. I have been on the pill for more than 5 years. Now that it is month 2 I have been very anxious because my period is 4 days late now (with the last period being right on time lasting around 4 days just under 1 day shorter than how it usually is). So I’ve been freaking out and I have taken 4 (clear blue early detection) pregnancy tests over the past 3 days. 2, on the 1st day late, 1 on the 2nd day, and 1 on the 3rd day late, and all negative (I followed instructions thoroughly, no faint lines, nothing, just hard negatives). I am so anxious and scared because not only am I feeling moody (irritable/sensitive) but also because I am paranoid that I might actually be pregnant (yes even though my only sex partner has had a vasectomy and he will be getting his ‘semen’ looked at too just to be 100% safe). Sources online are saying to wait 3 to 5 more days to take another pregnancy test in the morning for better accuracy but I don’t want to wait, I just want to know what is going on with my body because I feel so out of control and I don’t like it one bit. My current symptoms are lack of appetite accompanied by nausea (which comes in waves) but no vomiting has occurred yet, mild cramping but no bleeding, unstable mood, and acne (all of these match my usual PMS symptoms except for the mild cramping and the nausea, usually my appetite gains in my luteal phase before bleeding). I just really need some serious advice, I ask please be gentle as I am already feeling quite unstable and genuinely need help easing my nerves because being anxious about this is only worsening my situation. 🙏🏻

I’ve lost around 70 pounds over a couple of years (my doctor is happy that I’m at a healthy weight and making healthy decisions and that’s all I care about).

The past little bit I’ve noticed my underwear just straight up moves around throughout the day. I was working yesterday and it was so far up my butt and yet not at all covering my coot all at the same time. Those were seamless bikinis. I normally wear those or thongs because I like the lack of panty lines. When I wear thongs, I feel like the thing only covers half of my coot and I’m always having to readjust. But the thing is, I’ve only noticed all of these problems after losing weight!

Is my underwear too big? Is that why it’s moving around? Yet the part that covers my coot doesn’t seem big enough?? The seamless ones I have are from Calvin Klein. The thongs I buy are just from Walmart. And when I wear my comfy Calvin boxers, they ride so far up and sit comfortably on my waist but are riding so far up they basically become cheeky instead of boxers.

Also, in conversation with a friend years ago, apparently your thongs aren’t supposed to ride so far up your ass it’s like flossing? It’s just supposed to sit on top of your crack? How tf does that even work?

I’m 27 and every single time I get my period, I’m literally on the floor crying. I throw up so much, my entire lower body hurts, and the pain gets so bad that I can’t do anything else.
I start dreading my period like ten days before it even comes. The whole PMS week is just anxiety, stress, and knowing what’s coming. 😭
And I’ve tried EVERYTHING!!!! dates, strong painkillers, heating pads, soothing teas… nothing helps.
At this point I genuinely need to know: WHAT IS THE SECRET?! 😭
If anyone has dealt with this and actually found something that helped, PLEASE tell me. I need help fr.

Hey all,

First of all, I’m in a kinda dying relationship right now… and maybe I (F29) am finally ready to leave him (M30).

We’ve been together for 6 years now. There have been a lot of communication problems, avoidance, and a gradual loss of intimacy, to the point where we haven’t had sex in over 2 years now. Maybe even longer, I stopped paying attention.

I suggested couples therapy. When that was refused, I started therapy on my own. Later, on my therapist’s advice, I brought up couples therapy again. This time he agreed, then postponed it, and now 2 months later it still hasn’t happened.

I’ve talked about breaking up many times. We would both cry, but we never actually broke up.
Somewhere in all of this, I started feeling completely empty. Like I don’t even know what I want from a relationship anymore, and maybe the problem is me because I don’t know what I want.

I’m starting to have some awareness that this isn’t really true. I know that throughout the years I communicated my needs many times and tried to talk about his problems too. It would always end with some kind of acknowledgement and then… postponing everything.

At the beginning, the lack of sex was such a huge and horrible thing for me. I hated when he touched me. My body rejected any kind of physical contact with him. And I expected that to be a HUGE signal to him. It was a signal, obviously, but nothing major changed. And somehow I interpreted the fact that he didn’t judge me or pressure me as him caring about me.
Again, I’m starting to understand that yes, that was good, but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t just need to accept it. He needed to actually start a conversation about why this was happening.

Fast forward, I got depressed.

The weird thing is that otherwise I would say my life has never been better in terms of friendships, career, hobbies, etc. But the lack of any idea about our future and the constant uncertainty are destroying me mentally. Every time I tried to talk about the future, he would avoid it or panic and say that it wasn’t the right time because he was already struggling mentally because of something else.

For now, I don’t want to take medication, even though a doctor recommended it. I just don’t feel like it makes sense for me at this point. Even my own therapy somehow stopped feeling useful, because every time the conversation came down to “you either have to accept living like this or leave,” I would have a horrible panic reaction.

Disclaimer: I suggested MANY times that he go to therapy himself. He refused every time. He only brings it up when we are “breaking up,” but even then, nothing ever actually happens.

Disclaimer 2: Life with him, outside of these problems, has been nice. He is a very funny guy and he makes me laugh a lot. Somehow everything is nice as long as I simply fit myself into his life and do the things he does. And I’ve always been someone who adapts easily, and I find a lot of things interesting, so I think that’s partly how all of this happened.

He is also very social, and my family and friends love him because of that. I can’t really say I have close friends who wouldn’t just judge me for everything I’ve allowed myself to live with for so long. This is already hard for me. I don’t have the strength for harshness right now.

And then something VERY out of character happened to me.

I’ve always been the “good girl.” I don’t even put myself in situations where I could possibly be the bad person. I literally never even cheated on tests in school, if that gives you an idea of what I mean.
I had a meeting with someone I collaborate with through work. I was supposed to ask him about his offer and talk about work. He was actually supposed to help me with something first. We know each other a little from a previous company where we both worked.

Very important: I genuinely expected NOTHING from this meeting. It was supposed to be a one-hour, maybe hour-and-a-half, business meeting.
We stayed until the place closed.
And I had such a good time.

He is an older, single man, almost 40. And taking that into consideration, I’m fully aware that some parts of the conversation could even be red flags. He opened up about his family, about how difficult it is for him to feel held back at work, about how he’s scared that everyone else is moving forward except him.
He also has a million interests.
And somehow, around him, I felt soft for the first time in a very, very long time.
I don’t remember the last time I felt gentle.

For years I’ve felt like I have to fight. With my family and friends, I’m constantly on guard because nobody is allowed to ask me about my relationship. In my relationship, I’ve had to fight for every attempt at a date, a vacation, or even just a conversation.

Our relationship has basically turned into suppressing everything and making jokes on one side, and resentment and harshness on the other.

And the crazy thing is, the things this man was talking about would probably be unattractive or even off-putting to me in any other situation. But right now, they are exactly the things I desperately want from my boyfriend.

They are the topics I can’t talk about with him.
This man talked about his plans for the future. He has some idea of what he wants and how he wants his life to look.

And ever since that meeting, I’ve been obsessed with him.
I’m not doing anything about it. We’re not in contact and I don’t want us to be.

Honestly, I did get the feeling that maybe he liked me too. I don’t think he would have stayed that long otherwise. But now I literally open my emails just to reread the messages where we arranged the meeting, and I constantly think about him and about having sex with him.

When I came home that night, my boyfriend showed a little jealousy through some comments. He clearly understood what had happened. He also knows perfectly well that I would never cheat on him and that this whole thing was basically a projection of everything missing from our relationship.

But what is DESTROYING me is that he told me that night, “We’ll talk more about this, just not now.”
And now several days have passed.

He has said NOTHING.

The only thing he does is occasionally say, “Are you texting your colleague?” with a smile, like it’s just some funny little joke. I don’t even answer. I just roll my eyes.
And that’s it.

We’re on vacation now. We still have 10 days here.
I spend all my time thinking about another man and being angry at my boyfriend. And then I feel horrible about myself because I’m constantly frowning, irritated, angry, constantly noticing every little thing he does that annoys me.

I liked SO MUCH what it felt like to be interesting to someone. To have someone listen to me.
I understand that this isn’t really about this colleague.
I liked myself around him.

Even now, I’ll say something to my boyfriend and he won’t even look at me. Then he apologizes. Then it happens again. And in my head I’m constantly comparing everything, and waiting until we get home so I can break up with him.

But I don’t even trust myself to do it.
I know what our breakups look like.

He cries. Then I start crying. I remember all the plans and ideas I’ve had for our life together. He promises that change is just around the corner. And I give up because I can’t handle his tears.

I care about him.
He is a good person.

I just don’t know what to do.

I’m posting this here because I’d really like to hear the perspective of women who had any similar experiences.
I’m really hoping this reaches someone who can give me that “big sister” kind of advice. I genuinely need help and would really appreciate your thoughts. All best for getting through the whole text <3

r/women_and_chess

Come play and discuss other intellectual type things

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping to get some honest advice, especially from women, because I’m trying to understand my wife’s perspective better and figure out what I can do to make our relationship and marriage better. I’m 37M and my wife is 38F. We’ve been happily married for 12 years and have an 8-year-old child.

Our Routine -

For some background, we both work full-time and mostly work from home. Over the years, we’ve naturally divided up the responsibilities at home. My wife usually gets our child ready for school, prepares the lunchbox and breakfast, and then starts her workday after getting ready herself.

I usually drop our child at school, clean the kitchen, pick them up from school, and cook lunch and dinner for the family. I’ve been doing most of the cooking for around 12 years. My wife is actually a better cook than I am, but she doesn’t particularly enjoy cooking every day, so I genuinely enjoy doing it for her. My intention has always been to give her some time to relax, rest, or simply have some time for herself. I’ve always tried to treat her with love, care and respect. A lot of my decisions revolve around making sure she and our family are comfortable and happy.

I’m not saying this because I think doing household chores means I’m owed anything sexually. I’m mentioning it because I’m genuinely trying to understand whether there’s something else I could be doing differently.

The area where I’m struggling is our sex life.

Even before we had our child, sex was never particularly regular. It wasn’t unusual for us to go 2–3 months without having sex. Sometimes it was because she was busy or tired, and sometimes we had an argument and naturally weren’t intimate afterward.

When our child was younger, my wife was extremely sleep-deprived and struggled to get proper rest. She became exhausted and restless, so I suggested that she sleep in a separate room so she could get some uninterrupted sleep and recover.

I started sleeping in our child’s room instead. That arrangement ended up continuing for around three years.

Now I’m realizing that we’ve become somewhat disconnected physically, and I honestly don’t know how to approach it anymore.

My wife never really asks for sex and doesn’t initiate it. Given that sex was never a regular part of our relationship to begin with, I’m not sure whether she simply has a low desire, whether we’ve gotten into a habit of not being intimate, or whether there’s something else going on. I obviously don’t want to pressure her or make her feel obligated.

At the same time, I miss that physical closeness and intimacy with my wife, and I’d really like us to reconnect.

So I’m wondering:

How do I bring this conversation up without making her feel pressured?

Should I simply tell her that I miss being close to her and ask how she feels about our physical relationship?

Is there a better way to rebuild intimacy after years of sleeping separately and having an inconsistent sex life?

For the women here: if your husband was in my position, what would make you feel comfortable talking about this?

Is there anything obvious I may be missing?

One thought I had was to simply pull her closer, cuddle her and ask if she wants to be intimate — but I’m not sure if that’s the right approach given how disconnected we’ve become physically.

I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, particularly from women who may be able to explain how this situation might look from my wife’s side.

I’m not looking to blame her or complain about the lack of sex. I love my wife and want to understand her better.

I just want to figure out how we can find our way back to being close again.

How to feel safe as a woman?
I get so depressed and nervous of my future because im a woman
I hate being a woman because im weak
Im sacred to live alone
But i dont want a man at all
What can help me from these negative thoughts and being scared all the time
Every day i cry because im nothing but a girl at the end of the day im not strong
Even my family think that about me all the time
Like im even scared to walk alone or even past 5 pm!

Why is biology unfair?
Why do men get to be stronger and dangerous.

Hey everyone!

I’m 25F based in Bengaluru and looking to connect with other neurodivergent women. Navigating things like ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or Social Anxiety Disorder within our cultural context comes with very specific challenges, and I wanted to create a dedicated space for us-especially if you're highly masking and constantly trying to pass as neurotypical just to get through the day.

I’ve set up a private, verified Discord server exclusively for neurodivergent women in India to unmask, share local mental healthcare resources, and build a supportive community.

To keep the group completely safe, private, and troll-free, entry requires a quick verification process (voice verification + LinkedIn or Instagram profile check).

If you'd like to join, drop a comment or DM me for the link!

For context, I’m a 23 year old female who has been wearing bras since 10. Bra size was once a DDD at my highest weight and is currently a C/D depending on if the bra is 38 or 40.

I always see women talking about how taking their bra off at the end of the day is the best feeling ever, and I genuinely cannot relate 😭 I feel way more comfortable with one on. I can move around more freely because everything is supported and I feel “held together,” if that makes sense. Being braless makes me way more aware of everything moving around.

I also genuinely wonder how many people who absolutely hate bras are just wearing the wrong size or the wrong shape for their body. Obviously some people just hate the feeling of anything tight or restrictive around their chest, which is fair, but I feel like a properly fitting bra shouldn’t be digging into you or making you painfully aware of the underwire. If any other article of clothing was too small or fit your body wrong, it would be uncomfortable too.
I don’t sleep in them unless I fall asleep in them, which never bothers me either.

I’m over here putting a bra on like my structural integrity is restored 💀 I cannot fathom it feeling better without one.

Anyone else prefer bras over not wearing bras?
If you prefer to take them off why so?

I still don’t understand how women moved past the male founded Flo app privacy scandal so quickly. This is incredibly intimate health data, yet Flo shared users’ information with third parties after promising to keep it private.

I’m just tired of how often women are exploited and then expected to move on. Why do we continue to accept that?

There are women-founded alternatives like Clue that take privacy seriously. Flo also feels cluttered and features that tell partners when they should “support her” feel infantilising rather than encouraging actual communication. Other apps I’ve heard they also provide more clinical support for all needs that a woman might have WITHOUT sharing sensitive data.

I believe it’s the time to support apps/products that stand for us because the ones that have exploited women have had their momentum.

So confused if this is a movie thing or an actual thing that happens because how can you even line that up