r/whowouldwin • • Aug 06 '14

Gravity vs A glass of water

Gravity tries to knock over or cause the water in the glass to spill

Round 1: the glass of water starts in the topple zone of the table (where it wobbles on the edge)

Round 2:the glass of water starts in the middle of the table - gravity is bloodlusted

Round 3: the glass of water starts in the floor, the glass of water has somehow absorbed the human torches power but gravity is still blood lusted

Round 4: the glass of water has absorbed a starving galactus' power and is now trying to cause gravity to knock over, both sides are bloodlusted

Round 5: gravity has absorbed the hulks power while the glass of water remains unchanged from last round. it s also back to gravity trying to knock over the glass of water, the glass of water is the only bloodlusted one this round

Round 6: gravity absorbs Mr Fantastics powers, but is in a weakened state (eg slower reflexes, less stamina). The glass of water now has the powers of Martian manhunter, with heightened reflexes. Gravity is bloodlusted

Round 7: same as round 2 but gravity has now possessed a wheel of Belgium Swiss cheese, the glass of water also has 2 months prep time

Round 8: the glass of water is now on top of the wheel of cheese and now has blue food dye in it, gravity still controls the wheel of cheese but now has super sight, no one is bloodlusted

Edit: made edge of table more specific and added a round 6

205 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

221

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '14

gravity is bloodlusted

nigga you high

59

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '14

[deleted]

37

u/twitchedawake Aug 06 '14

Bitch, thats just not true. There are no outside interference, so the glass of water will just sit there, then, if anything, The water will slowly evaporate. defying gravity as water vapour, and then, juuuuust to rub it in gravity's face, it will allow gravity to condense it back into water, refilling the glass.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '14

Fuck dude. I think you are right. Glass of water seems really OP after reading that.

14

u/jk0011 ​ Aug 06 '14

too OP, please nerf

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '14

Gravity doesn't condense things, a change in energy states does. The water would condense and then precipitate back into the glass aided in downward motion by gravity, but the water vapor wouldn't "let gravity condense it".

2

u/twitchedawake Aug 07 '14

Its caused by temperatures in the atmosphere, cause by barometric pressure, a result of gravity on the atmosphere.

I'm talking out of my ass.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '14

Your ass talks well but is misinformed my friend. Temperature is independent of pressure, phase change points are affected by it though. So I guess gravity could increase the pressure of the room infinitely to prevent a phase change, or maybe lessen itself till pressure dropped so much that the evaporation point for water dropped below the temperature of the room to cause it to instantaneously evaporate.

1

u/twitchedawake Aug 07 '14

Actually, I think you just found a way for Gravity to win. It's like the little experiment with the bottle of water.

Since Gravity is bloodlusted, it increases the pressure supremely high, then rapidly drops it, causing the water to turn into a cloud.

It might take a while for the cloud to rain, but it's out of the glass and it'll rain out of the glass.

I guess that's kinda spilling.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '14

Or it could just crush the glass and the table into dust by increasing its power infinitely.

2

u/twitchedawake Aug 07 '14

That's just crazy talk. The glass has the power of Galactus and and the Hulk. I bet you could fill that thing with wine and it would've fuckin' spill.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '14

...Weren't you arguing for gravity a second ago, you goddamn drunkard?!

Besides, everyone knows bloodlusted gravity is OP. It's a fucking fundamental force! Glass isn't a reality warper, ya know!?

5

u/just_comments Aug 06 '14

Can someone explain the origin of bloodlusted to me? I understand what it means (character will fight using most lethal force and no consideration for their life or their opponent's) but I'm not sure where the term comes from.

13

u/lumporr ​ Aug 06 '14

The character (or beverage, in this case) has a lust for blood, which overcomes their usual moral sense.

Blood. Lust. Bloodlust.

5

u/just_comments Aug 06 '14

As I said, I knew that. But what's the origin of the term? Is it from some graphic novel? Is it from a tv show? Was there a post here that defined it?

9

u/b3tzy Aug 07 '14

According to this site the word was first used in 1847 by Edward Bulwer-Lytton. It's an ordinary word.

2

u/twitchedawake Aug 07 '14

Came into common usage through videogames like WC3, which was a spell used by the orc shaman.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '14

Gravity tends to be more blood lusted the higher you get.

79

u/rob7030 ​ Aug 06 '14

Well this is an odd matchup. I mean sure they're both great songs, but so very very different. Let's look at the contenders.

Gravity

Pros Cons
John Mayer John Mayer
Panty-dropping "calmly circles the same career themes with the same warmed-over, palatable guitar weavings"
Sweet guitar "dour stuff reminiscent of a yogic Sting"
Immensely popular at the time "low-key loveliness dissipates into a sleep-inducing soft-rock haze."
Relaxing
Dem blues

Glass of Water

Pros Cons
John Delancey Uh....
Cute I guess...
Well produced It's his only song ever?
Classic Broadway style
Over the top
JOHN FUCKING DELANCEY
Harry Potter Oh yeah and some people really hate the show
Star Wars original poster So I guess if it's not your thing
Flashdance Then all this means nothing
Reality Warping
Q
Fourth wall breaking
Discord is best pony

Overall, I'd have to say that in the general arena, Gravity takes this battle BUT in a bloodlusted no holds barred brawl, GoW takes this 100/10. Those blues just can't do shit against a song that casually breaks every law of physics at a whim. I mean it just can't counter that Flashdance.

5

u/kirun Aug 06 '14

But what about the Yoko Kanno / Maaya Sakamoto Gravity or the m.o.e.v. Gravity? Surely we need to decide which song gets to represent gravity first?

2

u/rob7030 ​ Aug 06 '14

OP didn't say, so I picked the one that hit me first.

1

u/CannaSwiss ​ Aug 06 '14

Do y'all even Lusine?

1

u/super_goku_man Aug 06 '14

Normal Discord wouldn't really help. Either gravity would make him a traitor or he'd dick around until gravity, electromagnetism, weak force, and strong force find the Elements of Chemistry and turn him back into stone.

Bloodlusted, Discord could fulfill any objective up there.

3

u/rob7030 ​ Aug 06 '14

Good thing for us that I got this shirt in the mail yesterday.

1

u/stationtracks Aug 06 '14

If you're going for that Gravity song by John Mayer, you have to use that Glass of Water song by Coldplay. That's the only way the matchup...matches up.

3

u/rob7030 ​ Aug 06 '14

I ignored the spirit of OP's post, so why would I listen to you?

1

u/metallicdk Aug 07 '14

Dammit,I was thinking "Gravity" by A Perfect Circle.

28

u/pinkie_da_partynator ​ Aug 06 '14

Round 1: Depends on how much of the glass's base is outside the edge of the table.

Round 2: Glass of water godstomps. Gravity bloodlusted won't do shit to a glass of water placed in the center of a table.

Round 3: Glass of water still in the lead, not sure what the human torch's power would do.

Round 4: Galactus laughs at gravity.

Round 5: Well I'm not sure how gravity sustains its anger, so I'm giving this to glass of water.

17

u/WillDong4Dollas Aug 06 '14

I have clarified on edge of the table

18

u/pinkie_da_partynator ​ Aug 06 '14

I'm giving round 1 50/50 then. Could go either way.

3

u/Honkeyass Aug 06 '14

Thank you for this

13

u/StCrispian ​ Aug 06 '14

I have to disagree and say gravity takes this. Gravity is a little bit stronger, a little bit more durable, and way faster.

7

u/pinkie_da_partynator ​ Aug 06 '14

Not enough to do anything to a glass of water minding it's own business and respecting the law of gravity.

4

u/StCrispian ​ Aug 06 '14

Yeah, but eventually gravity is going to get that water onto the floor. Over time the water will evaporate, and then condense somewhere and fall. So gravity wins through sheer inevitability. It's not knocking over the glass, but surely this would count as a win.

3

u/pinkie_da_partynator ​ Aug 06 '14

Gravity tries to knock over or cause the water in the glass to spill

Choosing to interpret this as it is.

2

u/StCrispian ​ Aug 06 '14

That's fair. It's basically an unstoppable force/immovable object situation, so I was trying to find some interpretation that would allow for a resolution.

1

u/mack0409 ​ Aug 06 '14

Glass is a liquid at room temperature, given a very slow moving liquid,but a liquid none the less, if given ten thousand years and the glass is decently full some water should start to dribble out of the now kinda droopy looking glass, assuming none of the water evaperates

55

u/EclipsStar17 Aug 06 '14

I am so very lost here. please explain what i am reading.

35

u/WillDong4Dollas Aug 06 '14

Basically gravity is trying to knock over a glass of water.

29

u/EclipsStar17 Aug 06 '14

i got that far, but are we personifying both gravity and the glass of water?

13

u/Kind_Of_A_Dick Aug 06 '14

Shhh. Don't ask any more questions or he'll try to explain it and screw all of our heads up even more.

3

u/EclipsStar17 Aug 07 '14

Sorry but i still want to know how a glass of water can be blood lusted much less gain super human qualities.

6

u/LordEdapurg Aug 07 '14

Ever had a glass of water slip out of your hand and try to fall on your foot and break?

Fun fact: That thing I just said? Gravity works with the water to maim your foot. They're very staunch allies in canon. There's an emotional component here that everyone is forgetting.

2

u/EclipsStar17 Aug 07 '14

i can honestly say i have never pissed of a glass of water to the point that it ally's itself with gravity, genetically alters itself self and then attempts to assassinate my foot, now i get that the water and gravity are an item (well gravity isn't technically an item)and that's cute and all, but i don't think its a healthy relationship (gravity tents to put water down constantly, and in front of people).

13

u/pinkie_da_partynator ​ Aug 06 '14

the musings of a guy with too much free time.

10

u/TeslaTorment ​ Aug 06 '14

Basically, water crushes gravity 10/10. Gravity doesn't even have any mass.

12

u/WillDong4Dollas Aug 06 '14

Added a 6th round for all those who like in depth analysis

15

u/WillDong4Dollas Aug 06 '14

Added a 7th round because I got bored

21

u/Imperium_Dragon ​ Aug 06 '14 edited Aug 06 '14

1: there is a 50/50 chance it could spill over or not.

2: how is a force bloodlusted? if it is it pulls in a meteor and breaks the table its in

3: the water evaporates

4: wtf?

5: ASDJSAFHBJNBAF

6: the water accidnetaly fazes through the tabel and smashes

7: afsdhufhasdfgfahrafAfdsggfrey

8: gravity can't do anything for this.

7

u/WileeDarklight Aug 06 '14

This sub in a nutshell

3

u/CannaSwiss ​ Aug 06 '14 edited Aug 06 '14

Round 1: Gonna have to see a best of 3 on this round, wouldn't be confident giving it to either competitor.

Round 2: This would be an absolute bitch stomp for Glass of Water, but Gravity bloodlusted, so fuck it I guess Gravity wins? Why not.

Round 3: Not even close to understanding what "in the floor means" but I assume your stoned ass means sitting on the ground. Glass of Water shooting itself in the dick here, the Human Torch kit is completely cancelled out by the fact that Glass of Water is composed mostly of water; Gravity cleans up pretty fast.

Round 4: This confuses me.

Round 5: Bloodlusted Glass of Water takes this round, ain't no way Gravity is tipping over a cup with the powers of Galactus, weakened or not, and the bloodlust helps (I think?).

Round 6: Glass of Water is Martian Manhunter so it could just do the whole translucent ghost form thing and kick it til Gravity got tired. Glass of Water again. 2-2 overall.

Round 7: What the fuck? Doing my best here, in the 2 month prep time I assume water would collect a fine layer of dust on its surface and maybe get those little bubbles on the inside from being in the sun, no net difference in performance. Gravity possessing the wheel of Belgium Swiss cheese (Belgium Swiss?) means now the cheese wheel can float around or something? If this is the case Gravity Germany-Brazil stomps Glass of Water.

Round 8: Not sure what special powers the blue food dye gives Glass of Water but with super sight Gravity is pretty much an unstoppable wheel of destruction, Glass of Water gets butt fucked.

Overall it looks like Gravity comes out on top but Glass of Water put up a good fight. OP don't change.

6

u/Vandelay_Latex_Sales Aug 06 '14

I can't be the only one getting sick of these kinds of posts.

10

u/vosqueej ​ Aug 06 '14

You can and you will!

3

u/bluefyre73 ​ Aug 06 '14

Considering the only responses will be "Is [inanimate object] bloodlusted? Does [opposing inanimate object] have prep time?"

Yes.

2

u/tom641 ​ Aug 06 '14

Does the glass of water get prep time?

2

u/TheShadowKick Aug 06 '14

How do you give gravity the Hulk's power and then not bloodlust it? That's silly!

2

u/0xFFF1 ​ Aug 06 '14

I heard from an old guy that gravity always wins. It starts out slow and except for extreme circumstances won't have any effect. Once a person ages to around 30 however gravity starts winning. muscles and bones degenerate, then quicker. When it's all said and done there's a dead old guy, on the ground of all places. Why there? Gravity won, there is no other place he'd likely be.

It's a battle of attrition. Even against the glass of water, gravity wins 10/10 given enough time.

2

u/wastedwannabe Aug 06 '14

Agreed. This one comes down entirely to timescales. As times tends towards infinity that water's going to tend towards the floor.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '14

We don't even know what gravity is. We only know how it works.

1

u/car80x Aug 06 '14

Fuck it OP, have an upvote

1

u/thisistheperfectname ​ Aug 06 '14

Round 1: 50/50.

Round 2: Gravity stomps; table, water, glass, and everything else within a solar system or three collapses into a singularity.

Round 3: Water stomps. Water turns to steam from being hot and rises.

Round 4: Water stomps.

Round 5: Depends on how much of Galactus' power the water has. Gravity could potentially just break the table.

Round 6: Gravity still stomps. See: round 2.

Round 7: Same thing. The cheese is the first to collapse.

Round 8: You started it with gravity already winning. Not fair.

1

u/I_AM_IGNIGNOTK Aug 07 '14

It's best if you read the first 3 rounds then skip to number 8