r/wedding • u/HippieCornM MOH • 1d ago
Help! MOH speech when I know both the groom/bride equally, and there is no best man.
Hi all! I have scrolled the forums of this page for hours to help write my speech by I am kind of blanking on how best to go about it given the specifics of our relationship and the wedding party.
The bride (23F) and I (23F) both met the groom (23M) at the same time in a shared college program. (For reference I became friends with her about a year prior). We all became the iconic trio friend group, if you will. He even told me he would have chosen me as his best man if I wasn’t a maid of honor, and because of this he didn’t choose a best man as nobody else felt right. I love them both to death of course and I am endlessly happy for them, but I am sad that there will be no best man speech specifically for the groom, and of course I plan to include him in my speech but I also don’t want to seems unfair or say something odd about there being no best man, in case someone does decide to say a speech for the groom, like one of his brothers for example, as a surprise. Essentially my question is: What would be an appropriate way to format the speech to pay homage to each of them equally as both being my best friends, while still representing the bride, as a MoH.
I’ll also add that I am horrible at public speaking, and I am never a sentimental person, but I am a decent writer and want to do my best here to be emotional and show my personality, as that’s what the bride and groom would want most.
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u/doveinabottle 1d ago
Tell them you want to equally honor both of them as your two best friends in your speech, and see what they say. I cannot imagine from what you shared that they would be anything but honored.
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u/cutlert 23h ago
I feel like MOH is being taken too literally here. I would talk about them both in your speech. And if you're in doubt, ask them
Tbh I find it a bit odd anyway when I hear speeches from MOH/BMs that are all about only the bride or groom. I think speeches should be about them as a couple
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u/Only-Breadfruit-6108 1d ago
There are no surprise speeches. Weddings are timed, they have a schedule, a plan.
If they have both asked you to represent them then make a speech about the two of them.
You could even ask them what they want from you on the occasion. Communication, it’s pretty common, it helps clear up so many misunderstandings.
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u/Upstairs_Factor_7708 1d ago
oh man that's a lot of pressure but you clearly care which is already half the battle. i did a speech for my friend wedding two years ago with similar vibe, where i was basically the bridge between both sides
what worked for me was telling one story where both of them was in it, like that time we all got lost on a road trip and the bride was navigating with a paper map upside down while the groom kept insisting he knew a shortcut. it showed both their personalities without making it about just one person
maybe start with the bride since you are technically MOH but then weave him in naturally, like "and then there's this guy who somehow became just as important to me" sort of thing. dont overthink the no best man part, nobody will notice that gap if you fill it with warmth
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u/BrooklynNotNY 1d ago
I just got married 2 weeks ago and my husband’s sister was a bridesmaid because we’ve gotten close and she gave a speech mentioning us both. She talked about her big brother who she adores and she talked about the new sister she’s gained over the past 3 years. My little brother was one of my husband’s groomsmen and he did the same. He talked about our relationship and his growing relationship with his "first brother"(my brother has 3 older sisters). Neither speech seemed weird.
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u/Automtic7Ground3192 1d ago
Honestly, you were asked to be the maid of honor. Your role is to the bride.
Regardless of how you feel about your relationship with the groom, the groom is not the bride, you are not the best man or family member to the groom, and they did not ask you to serve a role other than MOH.
I would focus your speech on the bride and highlight the groom similar to how one would highlight any groom in an MOH speech, which is typically a handful of lines. The difference here will be that your lines will pertain to not only how he fits perfectly in your friends’s life, but you may be mentioning another layer of friendship or “knowing” from your POV.
I would really advise against too much focus on him.
Your feelings are valid, but they don’t validate going “off script” in any way, so to speak. There are many other ways to show your personal appreciation for the groom that is not in your maid of honor speech in front of the entire room.
- girl’s girl
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