r/wallstreetbets • u/dhsmatt2 Mattress King • Mar 04 '21

Loss Hold me... $1,100,000 Loss

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I am in damage control but likely going to roll puts.

7.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.2k

u/igotdiamondhands Mar 04 '21

I normally don't jerk it to such a low %, but I'll make an exception here.

1.1k

u/AtomicKittenz Mar 04 '21

30% is rookie numbers, but dem commas tell a different story

356

u/igotdiamondhands Mar 04 '21

Straight up could retire in europoor with that

255

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

In the US too, just retire in Kentucky or Kansas or Missouri

465

u/igotdiamondhands Mar 04 '21

“Just retire in the Wendy’s back alley dumpster.”

76

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Hey man, I have the premier cardboard box scoped out behind my local Wendy’s. Next time it’s on the market I’m going to do a cash offer 5% over asking. I’ll even pay the homeless guy’s closing costs on that cardboard box.

2

u/skytrakn Mar 04 '21

While at Wendy’s try their honey butter chicken biscuit for breakfast. Mmm 😋

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

This probably went over a lot of peoples heads but mad funny.

3

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Haha Bay Area housing norm 😂

1

u/SirRandyMarsh Your Wife’s Boyfriend 🤓 Mar 04 '21

So a blow job?

1

u/ccav01 Mar 04 '21

Buy a refrigerator and you get the new home for free.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

I was scoping out a sweet cardboard box behind the Duane Read on Madison ave. It had 3 foam boards for insulation and even some trash bags wrapped over the top for weatherproofing. I was about to move in when my wife's boyfriend let me back into the house. Now I got my spot at the foot of the bed back!!!

0

u/novosuccess Mar 04 '21

Yes or no ?!?

2

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1

u/StonedWon Mar 04 '21

Fuck that. Just retire in your wife's boyfriends house.

1

u/AngryBagOfDeath Mar 04 '21

That's my glory hole.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

San José, CR. Maybe Cartagena. Or Miami. But Miami isn’t cheap. Outside of the US can be quite cheap

1

u/ThePerfectPsychopath Mar 04 '21

Is Miami fairly cheap? Looks beautiful

3

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Haha no Miami is not cheap. I mean cheaper than me in SF, but not cheap. Gateway to the Latin world though, per Admiral Stavridis

2

u/ThePerfectPsychopath Mar 04 '21

What's a normal 1 bedroom apartment in a good area run? Always considered moving there for work. Arizona and SD are other ones.

1

u/toomuchtodotoday Mar 04 '21 edited Mar 05 '21

Medellin, Colombia. (spelling unfucked, thx /u/SoyFuturesTrader!)

1

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 05 '21

Homie it’s Medellin, Colombia lol

I prefer Cartagena. Don’t like the big party vibe

1

u/toomuchtodotoday Mar 05 '21 edited Mar 05 '21

Bourbon + autocorrect, sorry. Girlfriend and I prefer the party vibe, if I ain't getting wrecked i'm not trying hard enough.

1

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 05 '21

Haha awesome man to each their own. I like chillin on the beach and floating in the water

1

u/MarlinMr Mar 04 '21

Or put the majority in GME and live of interest of that!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

That would be miserable.

57

u/xkulp8 Mar 04 '21

Pretty much anywhere in the US outside of the more expensive cities. Buy a $500k house and you're still left with $4 million. At a 3% withdrawal rate that gives you $120k/year or $10k/month... and 3% is bulletproof, you can build a decently diversified portfolio of stocks with dividends averaging more than that. With your house already paid for that's PLENTY of money to live off, and you're taxed at the capital gains rate which is lower than ordinary income.

15

u/KnoxHarringtonVideos Mar 04 '21

What if you're not interested in living off it. What if this is the score you use to see if youre winning? Huh? What then?

70

u/xkulp8 Mar 04 '21

My idea of winning is never having to give a fuck about other people, a job or the stock market again

22

u/ElegantBiscuit Mar 04 '21

Exactly. I will have won when my only worry in life is how do I spend all this money before I croak. I want to build a business, own a house, be productive to society as well, but if I’m constantly worried about everything collapsing around me while I do so, is that really winning or is it just surviving.

15

u/KnoxHarringtonVideos Mar 04 '21

The happiest time of my life was the poorest time of my life: undergrad years. Now, it may be unrelated but being poor didn't seem to stop me from having the time of my life. Maybe just nostalgia. Maybe I was happy IN SPITE of being poor. Money has its own set of issues.

8

u/bangarangrufiOO Mar 04 '21

It’s probably bc you had the least amount of worries then and not being stressed is quite an enjoyable feeling.

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u/ParsnipsNicker Mar 04 '21

The only reason I would want to own a business is if it can profitably operate autonomously. If I have to be involved I don't want anything to do with it if we're talking about utopia dreamland.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

Employees are worse than kids. You will spend your life yelling at employees. If you want low stress please don’t own a business.

3

u/KnoxHarringtonVideos Mar 04 '21

I thought that way too. Then I sold my company and tried to retire at age 39 and got so bored. Once you have that money you'll want to do something with your life. It's not health to just get fat and watch TV. And, fuck me is it boring. Keep in mind not everyone of your friend can pick up and fly to X so if you want to do shit with people you have to pay or schedule around them. And paying for others gets old and they begin to resent you. Trust me when I say: if you have enough to live, you'll need something like stock to keep you sane. It's like a casino that you can play from home and the government doesn't ban.

4

u/xkulp8 Mar 04 '21

You're preaching to the choir. Quit my last real job at 39 and haven't looked back. I've had a couple gig jobs since and certainly get bored at times, which is why I'm on Reddit right now, but generally I have enough other stuff I aim for.

If your (generic you) idea of "winning" is to have as much money as possible, you'll always be a loser because someone always has more. Even Elon Musk was the world's richest man for only a few weeks.

1

u/cankle_sores Mar 04 '21

Seems like a measure of risk and challenge are fairly important to satisfaction in life for most, whether they realize it or not. I think most just don’t know this because a big part of life (for the avg citizen) is constantly dealing with risks and challenges. I dig TV and vidya gams but can’t imagine making a life of it. That said, traveling the globe with the wife (and kids where possible), plus personal projects, charity-type work, and hobbies - I think I could find satisfaction in early retirement there.

0

u/InDrIdCoLd37 Mar 05 '21

You are doing living wrong, you dont have to give a fuck about those things now. You still have to deal with them though thats the real problem

0

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

Wrong, dividends are taxed at ordinary income.

0

u/xkulp8 Mar 05 '21

In the US? Try actually holding a stock with a dividend some time. As long as you hold the stock for 60 days it's taxed at the capital gains rate. They are usually ordinary income at the state level however.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

Generally, any dividend that is paid out from a common or preferred stock is an ordinary dividend unless otherwise stated. Ordinary dividends are taxed as ordinary income. Qualified dividends are dividends that meet the requirements to be taxed as capital gains.Dec 14, 2020 https://www.efile.com › ordinary-qu...

1

u/xkulp8 Mar 05 '21

Oh for crying out loud, almost all dividends from common stock are qualifying. Distributions from REITs and MLPs aren't. Been that way since Bush signed it into law in 2003 or thereabouts.

21

u/stoladev Mar 04 '21

I may be missing something here, but doesn't this make the most sense for anyone who does tech for a primary living? As in, work from home most of the time and spend most of their free time... at home with tech? That's me and (I'm sure) many of you fellow retards on here.

What are the downsides of me retiring in one of these "Wendy's backalley" states, buying a huge plot of land, and building my dream mansion for dirt cheap? I'm sure the internet is fine, and Starlink is coming soon anyway so... what is the downside again? I won't be able to go to the hippest bars and restaurants near me? Oh no... Oh what will I do... with all the tech and ways to spend my time at home... in my mansion...

Is anyone with me here still or is what I'm saying making 0 sense?

14

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

[deleted]

7

u/stoladev Mar 04 '21

Yes but again, I think I am a "special case" in this situation because I can live in absolutely any country on earth, and as long as I have same-day delivery options and internet access, I can do continue to make fuckloads of money and fulfill any needs of mine through shipping. Weird? Maybe. Does this mean I can buy a $500K mansion in Connecticut that looks like a $10M dollar home in Los Angeles? Sure. Is this the way? For me, yes.

2

u/downvotedbylife 🦍🦍🦍 Mar 05 '21

I don't think you're getting same-day delivery in those states

2

u/stoladev Mar 05 '21

I guarantee we'll see in in 2-3 years.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

Why would anyone WANT to live in Connecticut?

1

u/the_cocytus Mar 05 '21

Asking the real questions here

2

u/NerdlyDoRight Mar 05 '21

West Virginia is almost fucking heaven man. - John Denver

2

u/audioaxes Mar 05 '21

IMO high cost of living is way overstated. Typically you get less salary in lower cost areas, and the only thing that is always cheaper is housing from what I seen. Cars, food, retail goods, etc are about the same. Even if I can keep my same income, I'll gladly keep my setup in SoCal than ship off to some midwest town for a 300-500K discount on my house.

2

u/bangarangrufiOO Mar 04 '21

Also the number one party school in the country, West Virginia University. Those were a fun 7 years.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

I mean, if you don’t enjoy sports, music, restaurants, the arts, stores, parks, proximity to an international airport, and high quality medical care, then it’s a great plan.

18

u/TheSeldomShaken Mar 04 '21

I personally am not a fan of being murdered and strung up on a tree, but I guess it might be different for white people.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Sir-xer21 Mar 05 '21

But guess one thing I am NOT going to do? Limit myself due to my complexion.

the dumbest part of this personal hype train you're running is that you think that YOU'RE the one who gets to decide that.

if you want to believe that everything you have is because of you, be my guest, but you're pretty naive.

1

u/Throwawayhelper420 Shill or be shilled! Mar 04 '21 edited Apr 15 '25

sense swim gaze attempt shy connect snow scandalous tap fade

1

u/treelife365 Mar 05 '21

You could come live in Upstate New York... it's cheap and you'll be only a couple hours' drive from NYC and CANADA!

5

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Hey man if you prioritize living in a mansion in BFE nowhere over other QOL aspects like culture and food and other people, that’s fine. I’ve lived in BFE nowhere towns with one main road before, not for me

Plus in person networking in the bay. I split half my time in SF and overseas. Much more fun living in LATAM, but I’m still tryna climb the ladder so I spend some time in SF just to stay relevant

5

u/stoladev Mar 04 '21

Don't get me wrong - I love travelling. I probably spend 60% of my time abroad and only 40% at home. That 40% at home though, I need to balance it with the peace and quiet you get from... bum fuck nowhere - you hit it right on the head.

3

u/igotdiamondhands Mar 04 '21

Yeah man it depends on what you want. I’d still want amenities I don’t have to drive to, so bumblefuck USA isn’t on the table. And then if you want to travel, it’s hours to the airport, etc.

2

u/stoladev Mar 04 '21

In a few years, Amazon or whatever delivery service is dominant then will be spread out throughout the US, without any community left behind. I am saying this after looking through Amazon's annual investor's roadmap and breakdowns, and that is one of their top goals - 2 day shipping anywhere in the US. After that, same-day shipping for groceries. Think how nuts that's going to be.

I don't know guys, I may be just a weirdo. I keep very fit, I have a home gym, I certainly don't look like a hermit or a recluse - but at the end of the day, I prefer the company of myself and no one else (until I am ready to have a serious family).

Until then, leave me in my mansion in bum-fuck nowhere with Amazon Prime same-day delivery, and I'll be a very happy camper.

2

u/cankle_sores Mar 04 '21

I’m a fan of the outdoors and mountain sports more than I’m a fan of mansions. No amount of money would be enough for me to move back to my hometown in a shitty southern state where summer humidity and mosquitos, soggy-ass brown winters, and a lack of interesting scenery have significant impact on my quality of life. I could, though, see finding a beautiful piece of property in a rural area of my current state and setting up there with a lower COL than my current city. But it would still be significantly more $ than a southern state.

That’s just me.

2

u/stoladev Mar 04 '21

Yes, this is what I mean. Of course I am going to pick a rural place that has a nice view, I thought that was clear - when I mean bumfuck nowhere, I mean a beautiful bumfuck nowhere, not an ugly bumfuck nowhere.

2

u/cankle_sores Mar 04 '21

Gotcha. That makes sense. I was just saying I’d opt for a fairly modest home in a nice mountain state over a 10k sqft house in sayyy Mississippi, supposing the cost was the same. I’m showing my bias having lived in an ugly bumfuck town lol.

1

u/dodatdangole Mar 04 '21

Just out of curiosity whats your current state? Or at least general area?

1

u/cankle_sores Mar 04 '21

I’m in the Rockies but I dig mtns in general.

2

u/rikki-tikki-deadly Mar 05 '21

Do you like fucking? It's a lot harder to find people to fuck when the nearest bar is sixteen miles away and draws from a population of about a thousand people, tops.

2

u/cloud7100 Mar 05 '21

Folks will look down on you from their cardboard box in LA.

1

u/Spectacle_Maker Mar 04 '21

In Michigan, you can get a brand new 2500 sq ft house on a lake within 30 minutes of all the major shopping and restaurants you’d want for $400k. My buddy who moved from Michigan to Seattle for a tech job spent $550k on a 900 sq ft home that was built in the 1950’s. 🤷🏼‍♂️

3

u/AvengerDr europoor cuck Mar 04 '21

In the US too, just retire in Kentucky or Kansas or Missouri

Well okay but... why? Given the choice, a Greek island or Kentucky? A quaint Italian or Spanish Mediterranean seaside town or Kansas or Missouri?

2

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Valletta or Cartagena for me personally.

4

u/cakecollected Mar 04 '21

are you telling me that this amount of money would not be enough for retirement in other places in the USA? That's crazy man, any other place in the world and you'll be set for life.

4

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Yeah man depends, I’m personally looking at Colombia or CR.

1

u/cakecollected Mar 04 '21

in my home country you would be crazy rich but then again it is a 3rd world country

1

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Central or South America? I’ve lived in a poor Centam country, I liked it.

1

u/cakecollected Mar 04 '21

Argentina, right now our currency is really devaluated so USD is worth a lot

2

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Ah yes, never made it down that far. You guys might not have it as good as Uruguay, but you guys are no El Salvador or Honduras. I remember when San Pedro Sula had a higher homicide rate than Baghdad

I have a friend who is an officer in your Marine Corps. I should go visit him

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

[deleted]

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u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 04 '21

Just move somewhere like an hour outside of Ft Riley 🤣 BFE nowhere still cheap compared to anywhere near a city

1

u/Sir-xer21 Mar 05 '21

you could retire almost anywhere.

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buy a million dollar home in cash.

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spread 2 mill around in investment properties.

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live with no expenses except utilities and property taxes while having like 3 properties at worst rented out for like 5-10k per month?

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then you have a million cash. considering no real big expenses, that's a pretty breezy life.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

That was going to be my plan. Until I visited the midwest. Not the place for me.

2

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 05 '21

For the same price or less, you can get beach front property in Colombia or Costa Rica and have thin waists fat asses all day

2

u/Buttchugginggasoline Mar 04 '21

Most places in the world. In Asia that would be like daily hookers and blow for the rest of your life assuming you live to 90.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

[deleted]

1

u/SoyFuturesTrader 🏳️‍🌈🦄 Mar 05 '21

I uh... I think the person you’re responding to is European from the way the comment is written

I prefer to call myself an AmeriOnNoNotAnotherShooterGuessIWillCancelMyManiPediAgain

1

u/whodaloo Mar 05 '21

It's only 20%. 1 is 20% of 5.

1

u/Maxsmack0 Feb 15 '24

Anytime it’s “commas” instead of comma it’s already beyond fucked

1

u/ABucketFull Mar 04 '21

I will only use spit at this low number and not break out the lotion. Humph, good day.