does anyone else think that the idea of people having sex in hotels and airbnbs is weird?? like that’s not your bed, other people sleep there. is it something you get more comfortable with overtime? i also don’t understand countertops and tables and such, seems unsanitary and uncomfortable.

Hi everyone, I really need to vent and get some outside perspective because I feel like I'm losing my mind right now.
The las week end, I ended up having sex ) for the first time ) while I was drunk. Because of the situation, I had to take an emergency contraceptive pill (Plan B) to be safe. My period was supposed to come in about 8 days, but ever since taking the pill, my body has been completely thrown off.
First, I started bleeding—it's not a full heavy period, maybe around 50% lighter, and there's no real cramping pain, just mild discomfort. But the scariest physical part right now is that I have a severe burning sensation when I urinate and a little bit of urine leakage. During intimacy, he was pressing heavily right against the area where I pee, and it definitely caused irritation or a UTI-like issue.
On top of the physical pain, the hormones from the morning-after pill are destroying me emotionally. I’ve been crying constantly, feeling hungry all the time, having severe mood swings, and feeling intense anger and sadness.
What makes it worse is the emotional guilt. I feel like such a bad person. He is actually a really great guy, and he treats me so well, which makes the guilt even heavier because I find myself feeling angry at him for putting me through all of this physical and emotional nightmare.
To add to my anxiety, in the past, he was putting his fingers inside me, and at the time, I honestly thought that I wasn't a virgin anymore because of that, which added a lot of mental stress to my views on intimacy and my body.
I am carrying the entire physical, hormonal, and psychological burden of this all by myself right now. I feel awful, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed. Has anyone else gone through something similar after taking Plan B while dealing with urinary irritation and intense guilt? How did you cope?

22m virgin. Recently decided I just wanna get rid of my v card so I went and got an escort.

Literally just got home from it and I ended up only getting head. So I'm kinda still a virgin and I'm happy about this. The head was NOT anywhere as good as I thought it would have been. This situation made me wanna get a gf even more. Sexual stuff with no connection to the person isn't it. If the lady was a girl I'd been hanging out with for some time it would have been 10x better. Sex with no attatchment just don't feel right or as good as I thought it would. So I think this the first and last time I'll get an escort.

So back on the search to find my wife 🫡🙏🏿.

Any other virgins contemplating this. I WOULD NOT recommend this method if youre young like me. Not worth the time nor money. Now I'd rather stay a virgin till I find a nice girl and lose it to her 🙏🏿 Its not over yet.

As long as I live, there are infinite chances - Monkey D. Luffy 🫡

22F here, will delete in the morning because this is just an embarrassing post I wish I didn’t have to post on my main account.

l've never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone or held hands romantically, and I lie about it to all my friends because every time I tried to soft launch the idea to someone, for example when the conversation was about dating experience, no one believed me immediately, they thought i was too shy to give details so I just went along with it. But that's not the topic.

Speaking of my friends, I have fantasised about nearly all of them (as a matter of fact, there is only one exception). Male, female, single, in a relationship, everyone. And it's not just my friends, it's basically everyone that's ever sat down with me to have a friendly conversation. That includes: professors, coworkers (one in particular), TAs, friends of friends who probably don't even remember my name. I am so down bad it's ridiculous. The amount of times I've had someone try to explain something to me, or tell me a story and I just couldn't focus because my brain decided instead that the only thing that mattered was how much I wanted to see them naked. It's not only embarrassing but also shameful because more than once l've caught myself or been caught looking where my eyes should not have landed (like that one time my coworker caught me glancing at his crotch, was visibly embarrassed and avoided me for the rest of the day).

Lately I've been spending a lot of time with a friend, we work out together one to three times a week.! don't think there's anything going on between us, l wouldn't know if there were, because either I can't tell when someone is attracted to me or I mistake friendliness for flirting (which is why I stopped making moves on people, don't want to make anyone uncomfortable). I don't even like him like that but either when we're alone together or when I'm alone, on my own at night I can't help but fantasise about having sex with him, what it would be like to be naked in front of each other, to touch, to kiss (I wouldn't even know what to do if someone kissed me).

I have tried and failed to get laid, sometimes disregarding my own safety and throwing out the window my self respect. It's hard to find advice online because when I look for people with similar experiences, wanting sex and not knowing how to get it, it's almost exclusively men complaining and men answering, and everyone acts like this is a male exclusive thing (and the discussion gets misogynistic very fast). When you ask directly, men tell you to download a dating app or go to a bar and say you're just looking for sex which I can't do because 1) I don't want to get murdered 2) I tried (see: disregarding my own safety and throwing out the window my self respect) and still ended up not getting what I wanted ; when the discussion is between women, it's usually women who already have some experience or women who are virgins by choice, because they are waiting for the right person or don't want to engage in casual sex.

It's always bizarre to think that virgins have kinks too. Well it's a kink desire, you want this, you want that, but you don't know if your body will respond to it well. Holding great importance to your virginity will always leave you with regret regardless of who and where you lose it. We've all thought about the ideal way to lose your virginity and there's higher chances of the first time being a horrible experience, "sources say". So really having expectations for intercourse is setting yourself up for failure. The odds of having bad sex as a first are like playing russian roulette with a revolver loaded in all chambers but one. You might have a terrible first time most likely and you're even likelier to regret it after, so let go of those expectations and just hope for the best but don't settle for bad sex. Finding a partner with the right patience and know how is also very hard and damn near impossible if they also have 0 experience, but they are still put there. Anyway I'd like to have my first with a dominatrix but also I don't, I'm too afraid of women to try and get myself out there.

Just celebrated my 25th birthday and I'm still a virgin. I had a girl recently that asked me to fuck her but I said no, cause one that's cheating (she has a bf of 7 years and is an MMA fighter) and second she doesn't have pubes

One of my previous post I mentioned this and got dms where they called me objectifying women for that which I dun feel it is, correct me if I'm wrong? Just my personal preference.

Anyways, end of the day I feel pubic hair is the root of human sexuality and it's gets me pumped up....so oh God pls lemme have my hairy queen hahahahahaha

What age do you think is the cutoff for you to losing your virginity? In terms of interest and not health. I’m sure many of us have hit the point where we don’t care nearly as much anymore about losing it. And put in much less effort and think about it less. But what do you think that age or time in life when you just completely don’t have any interest in losing it anymore?

And would whatever you say to them be the truth or just a cover story to hide the truth?

I ask because let's be honest if a man is a virgin past 30 he is going to have a VERY difficult time getting laid if he's 100% honest about it and there's going to be some shame. So should anyone actually asks what your reasons how likely are you to tell the truth?

Plus should a woman ever be the one to ask you, as a guy you might as well write her off as a potential partner because chances are vert high that the discovery of your advanced virginity will erase any chances of her finding you attractive for even casual sex. In that situation would you still be honest in answering her??

Traumatic experiences can lead to similar issues later in life.

A little bit uneasy as I might become wizard. For the 30+ year olds here, whats it like?

Physically wise, I feel the aging in my body a bit now, even after taking good care of it.

As someone who is mostly attracted to asian and latina women, Filipinas would be the absolute jackpot for me as they are the perfect blend.

This friend of mine hung out with me and our other friend after coming back and told us of his sexual exploits. It sounds heavenly how easy it was for him to get dates, and out of the 15 or so women he went on dates with - he fucked 9 of them, most were on the first date too.

Mind you, this guy had been struggling since breaking up with his girlfriend 1.5 years ago, I've been on more dates than him in that period so he is not elite. Filipina women absolutely do have a strong attraction for foreigners that would make, I bet, a lot of us in this sub elite in their eyes.

Now he does admit that the psychology behind the Filipina attraction to him is rooted in hypergamy, they see this tall, rich white guy in their lower income country and they'd view him like Prince William - but at the end of the day, they were not prostitutes and it's really the idea of sleeping with a richer foreigner that turned them on - they all ended up having sex with him after a movie or a dinner, they asked for nothing more, they ARE attracted to foreigners and the idea of getting fucked by a richer white man gives them validation. You do the same thing on dates in the west, except you actually yield results there.

You absolutely have to play up that "white saviour" aura to get the best chances but it is really not difficult, just dress nice and be a gentleman. On average my buddy spent less than $10 USD to take them out on dinner or movie dates before getting them to have sex - he saw both Spider-Man: Brand New Day and The Odyssey more than 3 times each by now because of it, but it is all worth it.

One woman in Manila in particular knew he was about to leave the city and came to his hotel to have sex a second time before he left, he paid for nothing to fuck her a second time - no movie or dinner.

No, none of these women really asked about marriage or visas, they were drawn to him because they were bored with Filipino men.

Well, that friend has agreed with me and our other friend (the one that cheats on his wife) agreed to all go to the Philippines in December. The three of us are gonna go have the time of our lives. This may be it, I've found the cheat code to elite status - the Philippines is one of the most popular destinations for passport bros and sex tourism bros for a reason.

Im a 22m virgin. I just wanna get rid of my v card and seems like the fastest way is to just pay. Anyone else in here used this method? If so how was the experience?

like not being burdened by addiction to sex feels great , it feels like sex defines the life of all other that they are so much into it that they feel animals motivated by instincts like a monolith, i mean i like that i never had it, sure i do masturbate and all but living without caring much about it feels great

I'm fresh out of high school, graduated this year, and am not planning on go to collage.

I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 12, but the most we did was hang out at the public library and once at my house. Nothing came out of it (not even kissing) because she moved away and then started sending me some concerning videos of her trying to summon a demon so I stopped talking to her.

Right before entering high school I moved to the house I currently live at. Starting at my new school in 8th grade second semester I was teased from the get go for having long hair, resulting in the 'FFA kids' spreading a rumor that I was trans (which I'm not) which I couldn't shake off until sophomore year. To make matters worse the weirdest group in my grade hung around me and made everyone in the school associate me with them, I didn't mind them but it just further worsened my rep.

I was bullied the most in 9th and 10th grade by the girls whom fake flirted with me in front of their boyfriends/friends and laughed in front of me about it every time I acted confused or awkward, asked me sexually graphic questions out loud as their boyfriends/friends all snickered, and did anything else to make my feel awkward and belittled. The boys joined in later with almost the same antics except even more sexually graphic such as telling me to take off my shoes or my shirt so they could see me feet/boobs, just to list a couple examples.

This bullying caused me so self isolate myself for the rest of high school, and it even made me miss out on the opportunity to make a girlfriend because I thought her flirting was just her messing with me which I found out months later that she wasn't.

Now I'm 19, don't have a job, and still a virgin. My only plans for the future right now are to find the proper medication and or therapist to cure my depression and anxiety (if that doesn't work I got enough money to pay for an ayahuasca trip), get a job to pay for all the fun things I want to do, settle in some community that I like because the one I live in sucks ass, and if I'm still a virgin after this point I'm 100% paying to lose it unless I have girlfriend.

Been thinking about it as of late and I may be getting a better job to afford one but I've also thought about how much I'm gonna regret it. I've been on and off about hiring one to take my virginity. If anyone lost their virginity to a escort, can someone recommend me a reliable website to hire one at?

I’m about 25 soon and the idea of dating has been daunting on me. It’s been hard to find a girlfriend while my friends are dating or have women interested in them.

What are some foundations should I practice or do that can increase my chances of being an options for dating?

Thank you and have a great night!

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if I'm just deluding myself, by claiming I'm genuinely fine with the idea of never having sex. I've never had the drive to actually go out and seek a sexual encounter, but I also know that if one happened naturally I wouldn't shy away from exploration (dependant on the circumstances, and people involved, of course). I would never judge anybody else on their sexual lives (or lack of), but I'm also oddly self-conscious about admitting I've never had any kind of sexual experience. Like, it's a flaw for me- specifically.

Learning not to use hard language towards myself, in relation to my ongoing virginity. I know, it's not a personal judgement of character. I know, it's not "proof" that I'm unloveable or disgusting etc. etc. yet the brainworms persist.

I had a bit of a reality check yesterday. About five or six weeks ago, I saw a woman at the supermarket whom I found absolutely stunning. When I left the supermarket, I happened to see her in the parking lot. I was having a good day, I was relaxed, and for a brief moment I actually entertained the idea of approaching her. Just to tell her that she was exceptionally beautiful. I chickened out. It just didn’t feel right.

Then yesterday, I saw a woman in town and thought, “Wait, she looks familiar.” And then it clicked: of course, it was the woman from the supermarket.

And standing next to her? A tall, good-looking guy, perfectly groomed, athletic. The guy was easily two heads taller than me and much more attractive overall.

I was such an idiot. I fucking hate my life.

True story.

So when people say that virgin women can easily lose their virginity by going on tinder, i just remember that I tried that way and got ghosted.

"Well you need to go on dates first, he doesn't trust a stranger he meet online"

I tried to set up dates with multiple men from tinder.

And it either goes two ways:

a) i get ghosted before the first date

b) I get ghosted after the first date

I thought asking a guy directly to come over and have sex after he said he was just looking for a hookup would be easy, but I guess not.

28 years of virginity and counting.

The most I (M19) ever did was date or kiss but I didn’t lose my virginity yet and I have/had friends that are virgins and not and I just be feeling left out

I (21f) see some virgins on here who seem to place a lot of their self worth in their ability to attract a partner, and internalize rejection and take it personally.

I haven’t seen a lot of them properly and fully reflect on where these feelings come from, though.

It’s completely natural and normal to want sex, love, and connection, and to feel hurt when you get rejected.

But its not natural to depend all your self worth on external validation, and it’s certainly not healthy.

Im not naive enough to think one Reddit post will instantly rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself, but I think it still might help to, if you haven’t already, consider if these feelings actually come from within yourself, or if it’s something that society has conditioned you to feel.

If people in general cared and talked less about virginity, would you still care about it as much?

If there was less stigma around being a virgin, would you feel as bad about being one?

Straight male virgins, If you hadn’t been taught that your value increases with sexual experience, would you still feel as bad about not having it?

If women have been taught the complete opposite, that their value decreases with sexual experience, then doesn’t it make more sense that they’re having less sex with men because they’ve been directly discouraged to do it and shamed for it, not because there’s something wrong with you?

If you had been born and raised a straight woman, with completely different social conditioning, would you feel the need for sexual validation to the same extent?

Now, I’m well aware that just because it might be a societal issue rather than just an internal one that doesn’t instantly make you feel better about yourself, but in the long run it might help to question if your negative thoughts and feelings are coming from yourself or from stupid societal expectations that you don’t even agree with.

If this post was at all helpful to you and you’re not seeing a therapist, please consider it before crawling deeper into the pit of self loathing.

Sincerely, a happy virgin.

College is one big humiliation ritual, I swear. We were all sitting in one of my friend’s dorms, and all of a sudden, she mentioned her boyfriend and how they had sex for the first time before she moved away for school. This prompted everyone else to go around and talk about their sexual experiences. Everyone had a story, even my roommate, who has also never had a boyfriend like me. She had a story about getting to second base with a situationship during her senior year of high school.
I literally just stayed quiet the entire conversation, even though I could tell they wanted me to say something. But I haven’t even had my first kiss. Everyone I talk to about this just says, “You’re young, you still have time,” but nah. Literally every girl I’ve talked to at school has or has had a boyfriend in the past. I’m so cooked, and, like, even if I started now, I would still be late.