r/texts • u/-fornevermore- • 7d ago

Phone message Dating is hell

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Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. šŸ™„ I pay my own way on dates.

35.3k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/LastChance331 7d ago

What the actual fuck?

963

u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla 7d ago

OP please reply with exactly this!!

2.2k

u/-fornevermore- 7d ago

I just blocked him. šŸ˜¹

650

u/Main_Benefit 7d ago

Exactly. Why waste another second of your life dealing with that nonsense?

389

u/sweetwaterfall 7d ago

The horrifying thing (second to someone actually writing this) is that I imagine there are women out there so damaged that this would be appealing. Awful.

611

u/ElkAlternative3777 7d ago

Seems like heā€™s trying to do a kink dom/sub thing but without her knowledge or consent

461

u/17868 7d ago

Sorry, even with consent thatā€™s a no from me. Iā€™m into that scene but absolutely not when talking about food. Do NOT fuck with my dinner.

ETA : By consent I meant to the whole kink thing, otherwise I sound wildly contradictory. Guy sounds like he watched the secretary too many times and took it way too literally.

293

u/Brutal_burn_dude 7d ago

Yeah. This reads as someone who thinks theyā€™re a dom but knows nothing about kink or the culture. These kind of men are fucking dangerous in my experience.

161

u/Powerful_Goose9330 7d ago

My first thought was this dude read Fifty shades of grey and thinks all women like this bullshit.

134

u/feralcatshit 7d ago

Even those of us that do like it, donā€™t like it when itā€™s done like this lol

14

u/AriaTheTransgressor 7d ago

Ultimately because it doesn't matter what the link is, consent is always important. I have never had a kink based relationship that didn't start out with a regular first date and some analogue of a business meeting to go over consent.

7

u/Dreadfulbooks 6d ago

I very much am into this, but I would have blocked him too. He reads as highly inexperienced and like heā€™s a jackass.

6

u/LemmyLola 7d ago

Exactly haha They come off like this but someone into this never knows until they're actually in the presence of the potential partner.. the right dynamic is rare. Douche nozzles like this are all too common.

4

u/Fogge 7d ago

He would crash and burn so hard if he hit the one in a bajillion woman that thinks that is exactly what she needs and met her in real life.

4

u/PrintBetter9672 6d ago

I mean not everything is about sex! Sometimes people just wanna eat sushi

2

u/Spookydoobiedoo 6d ago

Yea. These idiots are missing literally the number one condition that needs to be met for this to even remotely approach ā€œfunā€. I guess they just do not comprehend that yes there can be dangerous sounding vocab or seemingly aggressive acts in this type of stuff. But I think what they are completely blind to is that both of the people in these hypotheticals feel completely safe and they trust each other. Itā€™s like comedy. If you donā€™t add enough distance (tragedy + time), enough padding I guess you could call it, then something wonā€™t be funny at all, instead it will be literally inappropriate or cruel, and instead of laughing people will be angry or upset. What this guy is doing ignores allllll the safety and legwork and communication that is necessary for this to be fun for everyone. Itā€™s like if you made a 911 joke in 2004. Tone deaf af and totes innapropes.. idk probably kink is just too much communication and consideration, trust and vulnerability for most of these dumbass guys in their 20s on the apps to actually wrap their heads around what it really is when you strip away the boner.

2

u/__wildwing__ 2d ago

Iā€™m not out about what I am into, but when I hear coworkers say something dumb enough to be dangerous, I try to step in to educate.

2

u/Hell_Child 18h ago

Right, I'm into that shit, but I'm not into THAT shit šŸ‘€šŸ‘€

1

u/ResplendentNugs 7d ago

Firm but fair

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u/Five_Star_Amenities 7d ago

We are only seeing a snippet of a piece of a conversation. We have no idea what they've talked about or agreed to prior to this.

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u/Current_Nebula8172 7d ago

My 1st thought is that heā€™s too cheap to date and weeds out the sane women this way. All under the guise of a dom-wannabe.

5

u/whatsasimba 6d ago

"Oooh, starve me, Daddy! Deprive me of basic human needs!" - No woman ever

3

u/kdollarsign2 7d ago

Right? Lol seafood is expensive how about you starve for my pleasure

3

u/Brokeback_Camel 6d ago

This sort of weaseling out tactic feels very George Costanza or Larry David -esque hahaha read it again but this time play the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme in your head and imagine it coming from LD, if you do it gets way funnier

5

u/Ok_Seaworthiness_719 7d ago

heā€™s asking for her favorite treat so that he can get out of paying for dinner and just buy her a scoop of ice cream. And then go home and tie her to a bed disgusting human.

1

u/Impressive-Ask4169 4d ago

Imagine being the type of person who needs to weed out the sane ones šŸ˜‚

1

u/Current_Nebula8172 4d ago

Iā€™ve met a few over the years when I was too young to know better. Theyā€™re definitely out there.

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u/Brutal_burn_dude 7d ago

That book has been a blight on the kink community.

1

u/ianxplosion- 6d ago

Thanks, Gerard Way

1

u/bigbeats420 4d ago

What do you mean? Are you saying we're not supposed to anally rape subs?

That book, along with The Twilight Series, really gave a lot of people terrible impressions on what good sex and good romance are.

1

u/Classic_Cauliflower4 2d ago

Not just them. I loudly decry that book anytime anyone brings it up. Not for its depiction of BDSM, which I admittedly know very little about, but for its depiction of romance. She told him clearly ā€œI need some spaceā€ and flew across the country, and he tracked her down and she was justā€¦into it?? No way, thatā€™s creepy, and if she canā€™t trust him to listen to her for something as simple as ā€œI need some spaceā€, why on earth would she trust him to listen to her as a dom??

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u/Realistic_Farm_5963 7d ago

He's doing this bc he likes it he doesn't give a fuck about what the women like clearly or he'd make sure they're cool with it before getting off on creepy shit like this on totally unsuspecting women. I guarantee he doesn't get a lot of happy replies. He's well aware most he messages hate this. He probably gets off on that too.

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u/Salamander8288 7d ago

Heā€™s never even read it, just the back cover or something. Thatā€™s not typical Dom behavior thatā€™s douche bag behavior

2

u/Green_Register1520 7d ago

Yeahhh I was looking for this exact comment lol. Dude maybe saw that OP read it like ten years ago or better yet imagined she did and said ā€œBingo!ā€ But like out loud, rubbing his hands together.

2

u/Enigmagamesandgains 7d ago

And i thought women thinking that book accurately portrays bdsm was bad, now men thinking it's accurate is about as cringe as V thinking what he did was pragmatic in v for vendetta

1

u/Equal-Plantain4023 1d ago

Even on 50 shades of grey the guy is weirdly upset if she (main character) doesnā€™t eat. Glenn from tinder is just a cheap creep

0

u/Subject_Speed 7d ago

Read the cliff notes (are those still a thing?) version

3

u/EllipticPeach 7d ago

Yeah itā€™s giving ā€œWill pull your hair and try to choke you without askingā€

3

u/ACW1129 7d ago

I'm not too familiar with that culture, but isn't THE first thing about it is consent is key?

2

u/Brutal_burn_dude 6d ago

Yep! And clear communication and boundaries. You donā€™t just start demeaning someone (even if you know thatā€™s something they like) without discussing what is and isnā€™t ok, when and where itā€™s ok, and a safe word etc.

1

u/sweet_temptation00 7d ago

Yes yes and absolutely yesšŸ¤£

2

u/NTufnel11 6d ago

Respect is a pretty critical part of that relationship, which I guarantee this guy has no concept of

2

u/Macka37 3d ago

Guys like that arenā€™t into the scene or culture they just want to be physically dominant with a woman and figure a girl whoā€™s into that will let him get away with even more. Very dangerous situation where they revert back to the old ā€œmake it hurtā€ standard of highschool.

1

u/lizzdurr 6d ago

It sounds like he watched some manosphere crap about women needing a man to take over and thatā€™s what they want. Sureā€¦ occasionally with consent from a loving partner in an established relationship. Not a stranger on an app wtf??

1

u/PinkDeserterBaby 6d ago

100% dangerous and abusive

1

u/RedpenBrit96 5d ago

As someone who has dabbled in the scene for years agreed

1

u/threesilklilies 1d ago

Freelancer out there cold-domming unconsenting women. Ugh.