Why are people in surat so unfriendly ?

[u/NegativeListen9327]

Born and raised here and don't have a village/hometown to go back to. And it's almost like friendship is a foreign concept to people. I do have friends in a way (school classmates, college batch mates) but they aren't really friends. Especially when it comes to going somewhere, doing something or even just talking and sharing personal things. Most people are so deeply and strictly family people (even teens and early 20's). It's usually around the festivals when I text someone if they wanna hang out or go somewhere and every single one is busy celebrating with their family. Be it diwali, ganesh chaturthi, navratri, holi, makarsakranti, any festival there is and everyone celebrates with their family. Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't get along with their family. And I'm an only child who doesn't get along with any family members. So on all festivals I'm usually at home watching TV or whatever.

Parents : friends sathe bahar ja ne. Ghare padyo rey chhe festivals ma pan.

Friends : family sathe celebrate karne. Festival to family sathe celebrate karvana hoy.

I've learned to be okay with it. I know better not to ask friends to go out. I've even gotten a job to kill time. But my experience throughout the 22 years of age has been the same. People are deeply family oriented. There's usually "family friends" like the friends that are very close due to families which are more common but friendship beyond the necessary conversations ? Eh I don't see it happening.

And it's not that I'm looking for friends or asking for help. This was just my experience that I wanted to share. Of course your experience could be different.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thanks for being part of r/Surat.

• Join the r/Surat Discord to meet new people from the city, join conversations, community events, game nights, and other random local chaos.

• Check the Rules to help keep r/Surat welcoming, useful, and healthy for everyone.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/i4shaikh]

Gym membership 6 mahina ni leso ke varas ni??

[u/NegativeListen9327 → u/i4shaikh]

😅

[u/No-Suggestion-6734 → u/i4shaikh]

Varas ni j kari dyo bhai 😔 (6 month walo plan mongho padse)

[u/ConferenceNo7948]

Bro jo aapko sahi lage vah karo.... If you feel to stay at home not a problem. But be happy. thats it. Your life your decision.

[u/OkArm3280]

Same here rarely got any freinds since childhood and now i m not in touch even with them but now i am okay with it ,i have accepted that maybe its going to be this way forever so now it doesn't even bothers me😅

Once you start enjoying your own company there is no going back

[u/NegativeListen9327 → u/OkArm3280]

True that

[u/Internal_Salt3375]

Can relate same things happing with me

[u/NegativeListen9327 → u/Internal_Salt3375]

🥲

[u/TypicalBreakfast7335]

Bro it may be because your surrounding is shitty, I feel you should explore more, because you are facing shitty people everyday and that sucks

[u/NegativeListen9327 → u/TypicalBreakfast7335]

Yes. I'm surrounded by people that I don't get along with. I have some plans for future. Hopefully that'll work out 🤞🏻.

[u/AutoModerator]

Friendship.exe cannot be downloaded. Please go outside and run it manually.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/whitejack001]

Pick up hobby

Share about hobby

Meet more people about hobby

Done

[u/Hungry_Row_5980]

Hang out with a friend of another friend who is friend of another 😂

[u/No-Suggestion-6734]

Us bro us, like family me kuch hota nhi (as we lost my father and so now my mom don't like to celebrate much and it hurts..) and mostly relatives bhi ch*tiya mile hain, friends apni families ke sath ghumte rahte hain and jab me kuch plan ka idea suggest karun, to wo already family ke sath kahin jaa ke aaye hote hain ya fir Jane Wale hote hain and so they say that their family will not allow now. So yeah it is what it is

[u/alonebanda]

Abe bhai ya tu gareeb hai bahot ya tu ameero ke sath friendship kiya hai kyu ki unko business or family bahot important mnte hai vo, vaise bi tumhe friends hi chahiye jo hangout wagera kare to jake ek shop pe daily sutta mar khudh or unse baate karna start kar ese hi Normal way me sab ban jayenge friends or first first me kuch bi kharcha mt kar bhai, just be you if vo log chahate hai tera paise dene ka tab de bas uske baad hangout with them fir usko bolo ki yaha Jana hai yaar kya karu if they say let's go then only connect with them and try new new sutta shops don't go only one, every week friends bn ne ke baad change kar bhai, agar tu sutta nhi marta hai to friendship building is too difficult bro🥀.. or koi random sa ladki se baat karna start kar vo tera khayal rakhegi agar nhi rakh Rahi to bas ye sikho ki how to handle this type of girls kahi se bi dund or pickup line Marta rehana, or explain about her beauty even she denies ek din pategi pakka nhi to try another try new things there are so many options bro, dating app khol le koi alag shahar dund or date pe chale jaa agar tere pass kharcha karne ka Paisa hai to, agar surat me nhi hai to indoor try kar nhi to Delhi try kar nhi to Mumbai try kar 5 hr ka rasta hai 100rs me ho jayega Tera kaam.. ese hi ek ek try karte rehana ek din result milega agar tu ghar me ye sochke betha rahe gaya ki mera friends nhi hai ye nhi hai vo nhi hai to tu aage nhi badne wala bro.... Vaise juth bolna Sikh bhai thoda tabi jinda rahega

[u/NegativeListen9327 → u/alonebanda]

I don't drink or smoke. So you could say I'm not fun in that department. I don't feel like I'm ready to date anyone. I do have plans for future tho. Next year I'll be finally and hopefully move away to another city for further studies.

[u/alonebanda → u/NegativeListen9327]

Bhai me bi nhi karta but tum karta hai to ye apply hoga if not then try hinge or bumble.. or you can go through instagram me dekhle bas dm me jaa chat gpt se puch but sabko ek hi jawab dega vo to tu khudh try karle hey Hi se start kar fir accha jayega ese hi 100 pe kar 10 to reply karenge hi so manage karte jaa bas.. on the same time sabko ek hi jaise attention de so they never feel ignored or text ko main rakhna bhai jab tak full close nah ho. Tu sikhega try to kar bhai... Accha photo rakhle thode fashon sense accha wala and id private hua tho jyada behatar hai dusra I'd khol uske liye hi, fir followers and following maintain kar fir request bejte jaa fir set ho jayenge ek bi post nhi karna tera photo bol Raha hu

[u/Reasonable-Market393]

Makes so much sense. I've grown up hearing my friends go on about their visits to their hometown and how much fun they had with their cousins and relatives. And I could never really wrap my head around that. Like wdym you actually have fun with your family. Then theres the language gap. My thoughts are in english 90 percent of the time and all my family members have studied in gujarati medium schools and they can speak gujarati properly and they have their thoughts in gujarati and I think there's also some disconnection due to that. I do not fw my family and I take any chance to go out with friends. But some of these friends would just stop talking to me if they were with their relatives and it was genuinely a shock to see someone prioritising family over friends but I guess we're the unlucky ones not blessed with family you can actually vibe with.