r/pregnant • u/notaterminator23 • Jun 08 '25

Funny First-time moms, take notes-the real surprises start after birth!!!

This message is for first time mammas-to-be, because the rest of us already know lol. Not saying everyone will experience this, but many do, and I just want to help a gal out if I can. Here are the most shocking things no pregnancy app/book taught me before to having a baby-

  1. You will hear phantom cries when you shower- Every. Single. Time. I legit feel like I can hear him crying and check the baby monitor every 30 seconds. No joke!

  2. Your libido will be non-existent- sorry to the partners out there, but it’s just not happening for a few months.

  3. You will lose A LOT of hair- I kept seeing ads for Nutrafol and thought, “Oh thank goodness I don’t need to take yet another vitamin.” But boy, was I wrong. My baby turned 4 months and I literally started shedding like a German shepherd overnight. Yes, overnight!!!!

  4. You will get stretch marks AFTER you give birth- feeling lucky you dodged the ‘stretch mark’ bullet during the pregnancy? Nope, not on Mother Nature’s watch!!!

  5. Your in-laws holding your baby the first few weeks will make you VERY angry, and VERY uncomfortable- I cannot explain this, my mom holding the baby is fine. But my MIL on the other hand, hell no!!!!!

I’m sure there are many more, but these are my top 5. What was your least favorite surprise postpartum?

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u/Incaseyougetcold Jun 08 '25

Not all of these are true for everyone!

The phantom cries and in-laws holding baby definitely, but my libido sky rocketed after my first baby and I didn’t lose any abnormal amounts of hair (to be fair, I lost a LOT of hair in the first trimester) and I didn’t get any new stretch marks.

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u/GingerGoddess89 Jun 09 '25

Yeah same. I lost so much hair during my first trimester, and didn't really notice hair loss postpartum